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About Acolyte2020

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  1. He sounds very self centered and that's bizarre that he'd be upset at your shower choice. He's not happy unless you are catering to his wants and needs. You got used to keeping quiet about your needs. That's not healthy. I know because I kept hanging on to my ex for over a year now and we're broken up again. lots of similar stuff. I also got rude comments about my hair. >:/ You're boyfriend should be positive and encouraging. You should get turns to watch and enjoy things you like also. If it wasn't one sided he wouldn't mind watching them with you for the same reason you didn't mind wa
  2. Please don't send it. After a few sentences she's going to be annoyed. Even if you don't want to push her into getting back together or friendship this is not the best way. The ball is in her court. If you knew you two were incompatible in a relationship... It's best to leave it be. Takes a while for the heart and emotions to catch up. Keep a journal when you're tempted to reach out and then throw it away. She will respect you for leaving her alone. If she reaches out and it seems right you can apologize but keep it brief and quick. She doesn't need long drawn out explaination. Also, no matter
  3. If it's weighing that heavily on your heart I would go ahead and apologize. I wouldn't recommend adding them as a friend or expecting them to respond. I'd just leave it at a sincere apology and then let it go.
  4. I've actually been on the other end of this before. I communicate with my daughter's father and most of the time it's to do with her. I had been used to he or I calling or texting whenever but it's not like we chit chat much. One night I called him to ask how much him and his GF pay rent for their apartment because my bf and I were looking for an apartment in that area at the time so I was getting an idea of price ranges in the area. I didn't think anything of it and I didn't realize that I called at 9pm. I didn't even think about the time or of it inappropriately. The next day he told me his
  5. Reading this sounds so familiar in some ways to my relationship this past year. I feel for you. This isn't easy. I think you are right in that you need time to process everything. The break up is so fresh. I think you're doing the right thing by telling him not to be talking to you like that or continuing the conversation especially since you know he broke it off and that it's felt so one sided. Right now you two are both hurting and even though he ended it doesn't mean that he doesn't care but he doesn't get to just end things and then come back like it's alright to be friends or even to
  6. It may be hard if you still have feelings and have hopes of getting back together but despite what he is saying or how he's acting it won't make any difference if he won't get back together. If he really cared as much as he claims to then he would be willing to be in a relationship with you. It wouldnt be complicated like this. Distancing yourself from him would be a good thing. Talk to your friends especially if you're feeling down or anything. Schedule more time to hang out with friends. If you know the areas he "bumps into" you around... Try to avoid those if possible. If he asks you, be cl
  7. The numbness could just be the denial stage or partially relief. Sometimes break ups can be different and you can experience the stages of loss/grief in different orders. Don't be surprised if it does spring up on you from time to time and you feel sad or angry. I think that's normal. Feeling numb might be normal too right now because if a relationship is rocky or there were ups and downs you could initially be getting some relief from not having that weight of potential new conflict on your shoulders. Break ups suck. I'm learning to go through the motions and feel whoever I feel and accept th
  8. Thank you! That's definitely one thing I'm doing. I'm always trying to find ways to continue to be involved with my daughter. She is with me most of the time. I actually bring her to work with me everyday with the pandemic going on. Then take her to karate twice a week now. She comes with me when I play my open mic on Wednesdays. We get ice cream together or go for walks. Every other weekend she has to be at her dad's. I used to look forward to a "break" but now I wish I could keep her every weekend but she needs time with her dad of course.
  9. I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. He was the one to finally end it for good but I probably should've left several months ago. I hung on to a false sense of hope. The relationship was full of ups and downs. I know I deserve to be treated so much better. My head knows that it's for the better because one sided love is just not worth it and very painful. My heart has not caught up. I've probably made every mistake in the book. I was very angry and upset in the beginning because I was still holding on and just so mad because he was very uncaring and rude and did not care to listen to anyt
  10. Oh.. there was an interesting podcast I listened to a while back about a married couple that hadn't had sex for a few years since their son was born and they loved each other very much but didn't have sex and wanted to work on getting that back but they were kind of stuck in mom and dad mode. It's hard to keep romance and attraction alive when you don't have much time without the little one. Could just be a challenge in your marriage right now. I think continuing with counseling is smart. Also, continuing to make time for date nights where family friends or someone you trust watches the little
  11. I understand and can relate to how you feel but I can assure you that the advice people are giving you are just what you need to do. I know break ups are rough. I'm going through one and the relationship lasted a year when it probably should've been over at about the 6 month mark. My ex would get into arguments with me every single time I'd try to open up or discuss things to work through and he would often block me and threaten to disappear, etc. Now that we are officially broken up and I've made a fool of myself enough spilling all my feelings and bring vulnerable just to get terrible respon
  12. If she was interested in rekindling she would've attempted a lot more than a "hey". 3 years have passed and she just got out of a long term relationship. She was probably feeling hurt and lonely and reaching out to people in her past to take her mind off or to vent. It probably wouldn't be the best time. I think not responding was the right thing especially if you do still have hope because she's an ex and neither of you have shown any real effort at rekindling and some things will never change.
  13. I honestly think this guy is not for you. If he wanted a relationship he'd be clearer on that. If it's too soon and you still need to date and get to know each other then he wouldn't be so aggressive physically. I'm genuinely worried that if you were to hang out with him again that he would continue to try and push his limits. He's already overstepped your boundaries. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you're not comfortable. I know it's hard and conflicting in the moment but you have to understand that a man that truly respects you won't put you in this position because he will liste
  14. Unfortunately, I can relate to all of this. It can and will continue to cycle. He may decide to unblock you and talk again but, mostlikely, the core of the problem won't get solved. Don't let it get swept under the rug. The best thing you can do for yourself is take this time to move on. I know that sounds painful because you really rather him care enough to work through the problems rather than withdraw but he is not capable of doing so. You're seeing a pattern here. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear and say that he'd apologize and be understanding and that he won't leave but look
  15. You two have been talking for 5 months and now finally have a meet up set. If you sense she is quieter it could be nerves. I would listen to the others and dial it back a bit. Saturday is almost here so just keep it short and don't push for big convos right now. Try to relax and go in with a positive attitude. Just have a nice, fun, casual time. If things go well then great but don't go overboard and message her to death. I know I get overwhelmed if I'm supposed to meet up with someone on a certain day and they keep bringing it up or talking about other plans on top of that or if they text a t
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