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From few days, I have been getting ill feelings towards every human being. I don't know what is happening to me. People just wanna criticize me. I try to help them but they don't wanna help me. I asked for some advice but only 2 persons helped me. Others just listened to the problem as if they are joining what is happening in my personal life. I feel as if they are so selfish. They just wanna take help but don't wanna help others. Even if they don't have anything to advice,at least words of comfort may help, isn't it? I literally avoid asking for help from people because I don't wanna disturb them but when i do, consider it a serious issue. Next i am tired of being criticized. Even if i help them,they don't take it seriously. They humiliate so much. It's as if they slit your neck into two and say"Oh sorry,sorry.. I didn't mean that." Yet i forgive them even before they ask for it. Please help me. I have so many hardships and i just need words of comfort to be least but they don't understand what one is going through. I can't discuss my problems with anyone, they would consider it a burden ,i am sure. I am tired of keeping them within myself.

I don't know what is happening to my heart. It's getting filled with filthy feelings, I don't know what should i do?

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Imaan.

 

I suppose you are still at school as you are sixteen years old. Could you perhaps speak with your school counsellor? Discuss your difficulties with him or her?

 

How about your parents? Do you talk to them about your problems?

 

When you say you want to help people, what does that mean?

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Who are these people? Friends, family?

Among friends and some strangers who seem nice.

 

 

Could you perhaps speak with your school counsellor? Discuss your difficulties with him or her?

 

How about your parents? Do you talk to them about your problems?

 

When you say you want to help people, what does that mean?

Nah, I can't discuss my problems with anyone. Our school doesn't have any counsellor. I help them when they need any help. Because i know that it's really frustrating when no one is there for you, thinking this i try to help them. I advice them too and sometimes even say words of comfort.
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Instead of focusing on giving and asking for advice my suggestion is just to have more lighthearted conversations with your friends for now. It sounds like you expect your friends to give you input on your personal issues to an extent they're not equipped to do. And all that sharing of personal issues might be overwhelming. Can you lighten up a bit?

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OK you have our attention...you can dump those who don't seem to care and lean on us. So what is your crisis they don't want to help you with?

 

Either that or find the one person that is like you. Not everyone is willing to or know how to help others. So keep searching, you will find them someday.

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Thank you so much guys. I just am uncomfortable of sharing my problems with anyone. It's very rare that i share them with someone ,when i just get overwhelmed so much.

For e.g., this one, I didn't want to come up here or anywhere for this issue but when it's been few days and i got overwhelmed,i stepped in here. And because i share my issues very rarely,I expect people to help me which most of them don't do.

thank you again, I guess, i can discuss my issues here. This seems such a nice platform.

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Imaan.

 

What about your parents?

Parents.....ummm.... I think i ain't that much frank with them. I don't know why but i have never shared my problems them. Although, they are very loving and caring,i still don't feel comfortable.Again, idk why.
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My heart goes out to you, Imaan. Sometimes I find it helpful just to ask a friend of family member, "I'm having a tough day. Would you mind saying something kind to me?" We laugh, and sometimes the convo evolves into a discussion about what is bothering me, and other times it's just nice to hear them tell me something positive. Either way, it helps to relieve tension, and it teaches me how to ask for help when I need it.

 

Head high.

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Who are you asking for help? And why?

You seem ungrateful that ONLY two people helped you.

Isn’t any help to be grateful for? You can’t expect every single person to “help” you!? And why are you asking multiple people to? I’m guessing that two is a lot to help out!? Percentage wise?

 

You complain about those that didn’t help you but just listened? And you are ungrateful for a listening ear?

 

And you say you try to help others.? In what capacity?

 

I have no idea what you are complaining about because it doesn’t sound like you have anything to complain about. ???

 

Please clarify?

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Imaan.

 

At age sixteen I am assuming you are in secondary school, and will be sitting an examination in around two years which will determine future educational levels. You seem to be experiencing considerable anxiety, which in turn, would be inhibiting your ability to concentrate. You mentioned that there is no counsellor at your school. And you won't speak to your parents. In any case, what do your parents say to YOU? About school, your studies, your aspirations?

 

You could speak to one of your teachers. Failing that, I am guessing there would be youth advisors at your local mosque? Yes?

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I have no idea what you are complaining about because it doesn’t sound like you have anything to complain about. ???

 

Please clarify?

No, I am grateful that those 2 people helped me out but i just am sad because other people who I helped before never reached out to help me. I expected a lot from them. Also they seemed nice and caring but didn't help me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imaan.

 

At age sixteen I am assuming you are in secondary school, and will be sitting an examination in around two years which will determine future educational levels. You seem to be experiencing considerable anxiety, which in turn, would be inhibiting your ability to concentrate. You mentioned that there is no counsellor at your school. And you won't speak to your parents. In any case, what do your parents say to YOU? About school, your studies, your aspirations?

They are very caring about my school and studies and want me to achieve my goal. They encourage me in every way they can so that i am able to be successful. But still, I can't share my problems with them,i am too shy for that.

 

You could speak to one of your teachers. Failing that, I am guessing there would be youth advisors at your local mosque? Yes?

Women don't go to mosque in my region, so I won't be able to do so.

And i admit, i am losing concentration in everything,in studies,in prayers, reading books. Also i have lost interest in almost everything i used to love before.

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You may be depressed. Please talk to your parents about seeing a doctor.
No no, i am sure i am not depressed. I ain't having any sucidal thoughts nor am i hopeless. But yes, i just am facing this one symptom of Depression which is "losing of interest in everything". Idk what to do [emoji17]
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Start a journal and date each entry. You can pour your heart out in the journal and start navigating your thoughts that way. I think you need a place to organize your pains and worries but you are not willing to share these personal issues with anyone else just yet.

 

That is fine. Start with a private journal. A piece of paper or a document on your computer. Once you start organizing your thoughts you'll be better able to wade through and sort through what's 1) horrifying, 2) worrying, 3) mildly uncomfortable.

 

Work through and prioritize your worries and pains a bit better. It'll help you compartmentalize also and bridge divides in your mind about different painful topics, break down those walls, learn to absorb pain and let it go. Become more fluid and flexible, caring and forgiving of others and yourself with boundaries.

 

The intent isn't to keep the pain compartmentalized but a way to sort through things and recognize painful events, associations, people etc. It'll also help you learn to recognize danger signs going forward and warning signs for unhealthy and toxic situations. We all have to learn how to work through dangerous situations or avoid them in life.

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You are lucky you access to the internet/ access to us....in my teenage years I had nowhere to go, no one to talk to, I just sucked it up and moved forward. This is why I have been doing this for like 18 years...giving people like you the opportunity to help you work out your issues. Have a think, then give us a shot.

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