TheG Posted September 11, 2019 Author Share Posted September 11, 2019 Ok guys I do thank you guys for you assistance and engagement its helped me make sense of things. So I had a 3 hour conversation with a female friend of mine and after changing our decision a few times we finally decided that I contact her. So I decided to contact her friend and this is briefly what the response was "Angelina says you made narky jokes and comments about something. Angelina doesnt like to feel that someone is doing her a favour when they do something related to her. Shes just a person who acts on her decision once she has made it rather than talk about it first thats why she did not text. No hard feelings, shes not upset (which i think is a lie) she just decided she does not want that kinda energy in her life" I know the joke she is talking about. I noticed she was angry about it and asked her if she was offended the first time and she said she wasnt. The next day I made a similar joke just before the end of the vulnerability video call. I know you guys are curious about what the joke is about, here it is: So after her doing her laundry I said to her great, now you wont have to repeat clothes anymore. I didnt even notice that she repeats clothes I just said the joke randomly. After our whole vulnerability talk to lighten things up I said "werent you wearing that sweater last week". I dont even remember seeing that sweater before. I guess shes sensitive about the whole repeating clothes thing and Iv got absultely no idea why, i didnt notice that she repeats clothes im thinking of requesting for her to unblock me just so that her and I can talk about this properly and if she still feels "negative energy" she can block me. I am doing this because I have noticed that shes quite sensitive, she has daddy issues (but dont we all in some way or another) and she has admitted to me that she tends to over react and shes working on that. Im trying to be understanding but maybe im being tooo understanding... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 Leave her alone now. You know what went wrong now and it's clear you're not a match. Don't add stalking to insulting "jokes". Just move forward and learn that jokes should not be at someone's expense. Don't be this obtuse or insensitive next time. She doesn't like you. She blocked you. Take the hint. It's over. You need to get out of her face. It's bad enough you and your "friend" decided to circumvent her blocking you and contacted her friend. It's not your job to figure out if she has "daddy issues" or why your insults offended her. Next time just learn boundaries and don't make back-handed remarks. Live and learn...and leave her alone before you get a restraining order slapped on you.So after her doing her laundry I said to her great, now you wont have to repeat clothes anymore.After our whole vulnerability talk to lighten things up I said "werent you wearing that sweater last week". im thinking of requesting for her to unblock me just so that her and I can talk about this properly and if she still feels "negative energy" she can block me. I am doing this because I have noticed that shes quite sensitive, she has daddy issues Link to comment
TheG Posted September 11, 2019 Author Share Posted September 11, 2019 that was harsh... almost more harsh than her response. Iv teased her about worse things she teases me even more and we laugh about it. Unfortunately this joke for some reason hit home...? The reality of the matter is she was hurt and when someone is hurt you apologize. I feel that it was the best option for me to find out what really happened, it helps both of us. I apologized through her friend, and left it at that. Now I would feel ok with her not unblocking me and us going our separate ways, closure Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 It doesn't help both of you, it only "helps" you. You now expect her to unblock you because you disregarded her wishes and went behind her back to her friend. I'll tell you, if someone disregarded my wishes like that it wouldn't make me want to renew communication with that person. Quite the opposite. Link to comment
bluecastle Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 Wise's response is not really harsh. You called in the troops, sent them on a recon mission, enlisted them into battle in a war that had already ended, and you got your answer: she does not like you anymore and does not want to speak to you anymore. She'd given you that answer clearly already: blocking is, after all, a form of communication that is not quite ghosting. In finding a way to penetrate that firewall you now know why she blocked you, doesn't like you, and doesn't want to talk to you anymore. She found you offensive. Sucks, I know. Sucks that her chosen means of explaining that, after 8 weeks, was through blocking. But she is 22. That's who she is right now, how she operates. This talk about trying to get her to unblock you, to clear the air, to exorcise the negative energy, to untangle the daddy issues, to work through it—no. And no and no and no. Noble as your intentions behind that feel in the frazzled emotional state commonly known as being "butt hurt," they boil down to you wanting her to be someone else: a more mature young woman who likes you, wants to talk to you, is not offended by you, finds you hilarious. She is none of those things. Sad. But we show respect to people by respecting who they are, not who we want them to be. And it means you can now find someone who is those things, rather than trying to mold someone into that shape because you are sad. Stay on the molding path where you're trying to scale her walls and she will be the one describing you—accurately—as a man who needs to mature and work through some sensitivity and awareness issues. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 Ok guys I do thank you guys for you assistance and engagement its helped me make sense of things. So I had a 3 hour conversation with a female friend of mine and after changing our decision a few times we finally decided that I contact her. So I decided to contact her friend and this is briefly what the response was "Angelina says you made narky jokes and comments about something. Angelina doesnt like to feel that someone is doing her a favour when they do something related to her. Shes just a person who acts on her decision once she has made it rather than talk about it first thats why she did not text. No hard feelings, shes not upset (which i think is a lie) she just decided she does not want that kinda energy in her life" I know the joke she is talking about. I noticed she was angry about it and asked her if she was offended the first time and she said she wasnt. The next day I made a similar joke just before the end of the vulnerability video call. I know you guys are curious about what the joke is about, here it is: So after her doing her laundry I said to her great, now you wont have to repeat clothes anymore. I didnt even notice that she repeats clothes I just said the joke randomly. After our whole vulnerability talk to lighten things up I said "werent you wearing that sweater last week". I dont even remember seeing that sweater before. I guess shes sensitive about the whole repeating clothes thing and Iv got absultely no idea why, i didnt notice that she repeats clothes im thinking of requesting for her to unblock me just so that her and I can talk about this properly and if she still feels "negative energy" she can block me. I am doing this because I have noticed that shes quite sensitive, she has daddy issues (but dont we all in some way or another) and she has admitted to me that she tends to over react and shes working on that. Im trying to be understanding but maybe im being tooo understanding... lol! I would have laughed. She is way too sensitive. Stay out of her way. Some people aren't built for jokes. NYP (not your problem) And don't talk to her friends either or your friends about how ridiculous this has become. It doesn't warrant it. She seems very insecure and uptight. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 I can't believe you contacted the friend. That is cringeworthy. You both act like you are in high school. You are still considering reaching out, even though she wants nothing to do with you. You don't get it. Why did you even come here for advice? Link to comment
MirrorKnight Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 lol! I would have laughed. She is way too sensitive. Stay out of her way. Some people aren't built for jokes. NYP (not your problem) And don't talk to her friends either or your friends about how ridiculous this has become. It doesn't warrant it. She seems very insecure and uptight. Seems to me she is either unstable, or she was not that into OP and maybe found a new crush, and is just using any old excuse to break things off with him. In any case OP. Forget this one. She's gone. Don't waste time, effort and energy on her anymore. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 Seems to me she is either unstable, or she was not that into OP and maybe found a new crush, and is just using any old excuse to break things off with him. I have the same hunch here. Either way, OP, if she's not mature enough to communicate directly with you that she doesn't want to continue seeing you, she's not relationship material. She has too much growing up to do first, on an emotional level. Trying to talk to her now is going to be a colossal waste of your time because it doesn't change the bottom line: this isn't a girl who isn't willing or capable of voicing her own thoughts, which speaks volumes about her ability to sustain a lasting and healthy relationship with you. You would be best to let this one go. It's not going to evolve into something satisfying. Link to comment
TheG Posted September 12, 2019 Author Share Posted September 12, 2019 Remember, the advice of me going through her friend came from a woman (whos a close friend of mine). This woman had blocked someone for no good reason as well and ended up unblocking the guy. She thought her situation was similar to mine and thats why I decided to do it. To be honest when she blocked me one of my suspicions were because of that joke because she started getting moody after that joke...Anyway, after her friend's response I apologized and have left it at that... To the person asking why I even came here for advice: even if i didnt follow your guys advice 100% it helped me alot. It helped me put things into persepctive. It helps me to see what to do next time; things to lookout for in future. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 It's not your female friend's responsibility. You've had the last word. Now leave her alone.Remember, the advice of me going through her friend came from a woman. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 Remember, the advice of me going through her friend came from a woman (whos a close friend of mine). This woman had blocked someone for no good reason as well and ended up unblocking the guy. She thought her situation was similar to mine and thats why I decided to do it. To be honest when she blocked me one of my suspicions were because of that joke because she started getting moody after that joke...Anyway, after her friend's response I apologized and have left it at that... To the person asking why I even came here for advice: even if i didnt follow your guys advice 100% it helped me alot. It helped me put things into persepctive. It helps me to see what to do next time; things to lookout for in future. Just because the advice came from a woman doesn't mean it's automatically good. She told you to do what she wished her own ex did. That doesn't mean ALL women want what she (this friend of yours) wanted. I hope you plan to leave your ex alone now. Link to comment
TheG Posted September 19, 2019 Author Share Posted September 19, 2019 Update guys: havent spoken to her for about a week and she unblocked me. I asked her to tell me whats going on? She called me and she said she would like us to speak face to face... I told her to tell me now over the phone and she said she would rather tell me face to face. She went home on recess (quite far away) and will be back next friday and thats when she asked us to meet. I asked her if its bad news or good news and she asked me whats good news. I told her she knows what good news is for me and she said its neither good or bad news....? If its bad news would she really let me travel 200 km (124 miles) just to tell me bad news?? I wanted to ask that but i refrained... Any idea what to expect? what should i do or say? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 Geez is she writing clues for crossword puzzles? What kind of guessing games are these? Don't go. Whatever needs to be said can be said on the phone. Unless you are hoping that her bs is teasing and means you'll get lucky then take your chances. If its bad news would she really let me travel 200 km (124 miles) just to tell me bad news? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 She is playing games. I would not travel to her. Unless she is pregnant or some such life-altering thing. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 Many people on this forum chastise others for breaking up via email, text or over the phone. They say the respectful thing to do is do it in person. Can't say if that's what she's planning to do. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 I agree with everyone else here, and unfortunately this is a lesson which you're going to have to learn on your own. Keep in mind that you don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Update guys: havent spoken to her for about a week and she unblocked me. I asked her to tell me whats going on? She called me and she said she would like us to speak face to face... I told her to tell me now over the phone and she said she would rather tell me face to face. She went home on recess (quite far away) and will be back next friday and thats when she asked us to meet. I asked her if its bad news or good news and she asked me whats good news. I told her she knows what good news is for me and she said its neither good or bad news....? If its bad news would she really let me travel 200 km (124 miles) just to tell me bad news?? I wanted to ask that but i refrained... Any idea what to expect? what should i do or say? So much drama... if you have gas and time to burn, go for it. Most people in their right mind wouldn't ask someone to drive that far based on a very spotty two month dating run. Link to comment
TheG Posted September 20, 2019 Author Share Posted September 20, 2019 Not going to her is easier said than done to be honest... luckily tho, i was planning on being that side that weekend anyway (As iv mentioned I am that side quite often thats how we could date i guess she figured? however she didnt know). Anyway I feel like im walking to a chopping block... Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 She's already demonstrated that she's not a mature person. This is an extension of that. There is no need for the cryptic invitation, but she juvenile, emotionally-speaking. Your choice to stay engaged in that and play along is on you. Link to comment
TheG Posted September 20, 2019 Author Share Posted September 20, 2019 For me this will be the last engagement with her if she breaks things off; so if this is a "game" it will end at this meeting. So it most probably will be my last engagement with her... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Is that why you contacted her? Why play games regarding "good news"? What is it you mean by that? i was planning on being that side that weekend anyway Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Well, at the very least you showed her you'll jump when she says to jump. Not sure if that's the message you want to get across, maybe it is. Link to comment
TheG Posted September 20, 2019 Author Share Posted September 20, 2019 what you mean Wiseman? She unblocked me and asked us to meet up... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Ok great, meet up and see what she means by all this, since you'll be there anyway. what you mean Wiseman? She unblocked me and asked us to meet up... Link to comment
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