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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


Seraphim
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I just had a pic of me as a pic come up in memories on FB. How could anyone  hurt a beautiful sweet innocent kid. I had fluffy curled reddish chestnut hair. The sweetest little face and big green eyes and a mischievous smile. It just made me cry. I must have progressed since therapy as I could never connect with that child. Now I can SEE myself as that child and FEEL her. 

Edited by Seraphim
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I get you.

I was a tiny, tiny child.  I weighed 50 pounds when I was 11 years old.  I had a mop of unruly, curly black hair and big dark eyes in a skinny face.  And someone hurt me, repeatedly, for about 10 years starting when I was about four years old.  It's why I have huge gaps in my memories of my school age years.

I never thought about feeling sorry for that tiny little girl but now I think I'm going to think about her and talk to her in my mind.  Maybe I can tell her it's going to be OK.

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21 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I get you.

I was a tiny, tiny child.  I weighed 50 pounds when I was 11 years old.  I had a mop of unruly, curly black hair and big dark eyes in a skinny face.  And someone hurt me, repeatedly, for about 10 years starting when I was about four years old.  It's why I have huge gaps in my memories of my school age years.

I never thought about feeling sorry for that tiny little girl but now I think I'm going to think about her and talk to her in my mind.  Maybe I can tell her it's going to be OK.

I am so sorry. 
 

Yes, it is so crucial to reconnect with that child and let her know YOU can now protect her and yourself and become one with her . ❤️

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Some You Tubers I subscribe to posted a video just a few days ago saying their province was opening back up and travel in Canada is now allowed. So of course they're jumping on the first plane. Eye roll. However, I know next to nothing about Canada so maybe it's only their province. They're in Nova Scotia.

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19 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Some You Tubers I subscribe to posted a video just a few days ago saying their province was opening back up and travel in Canada is now allowed. So of course they're jumping on the first plane. Eye roll. However, I know next to nothing about Canada so maybe it's only their province. They're in Nova Scotia.

Ontario goes back into lockdown on Sat and parts of Quebec too. Travel is permitted in the Atlantic provinces but only within the Atlantic bubble. Anyone from outside the four provinces must quarantine for 14 days. But each province has its own regulations on travel restrictions and quarantine. The Atlantic provinces have pretty low rates of infection but the other provinces are exploding in cases. My area for instance went from 7 cases last week to 81 as of today. 

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Ok, I think that's what they said. It makes more sense now.

My state has been doing fairly well and is gradually reopening. But unfortunately lots of people who live here cannot tolerate the restrictions so they travel to states where there are little to no restrictions and bring the virus and all its variants back home with them, where they spread it around and cause another spike.

Sigh...

I am getting vaccinated tomorrow (first shot), which makes me exceedingly happy.

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9 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Ok, I think that's what they said. It makes more sense now.

My state has been doing fairly well and is gradually reopening. But unfortunately lots of people who live here cannot tolerate the restrictions so they travel to states where there are little to no restrictions and bring the virus and all its variants back home with them, where they spread it around and cause another spike.

Sigh...

I am getting vaccinated tomorrow (first shot), which makes me exceedingly happy.

I am glad for you . God knows when mine is . My mom is Sunday. 

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Isn’t it the giant dichotomy that we can’t live without oxygen and yet oxygen is what kills the body, destroying the cells and what ultimately created the way we reproduce so as to create not an identical copy of ourselves but a combination with another . 
 

I am exhausted, didn’t sleep well . 

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My doctor is weaning me off my antidepressant so my sleep has been somewhat disjointed.  As soon as my body gets used to the new lower dose it's time to reduce it again.  But that's ok. I want to be off the meds if possible so I'll ride it out.

I'm glad you're getting some good sleep.

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14 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

My doctor is weaning me off my antidepressant so my sleep has been somewhat disjointed.  As soon as my body gets used to the new lower dose it's time to reduce it again.  But that's ok. I want to be off the meds if possible so I'll ride it out.

I'm glad you're getting some good sleep.

It typically causes disjointed sleep . Once you are fully weaned your brain will return to sleeping. 
 

I typically only get a very good sleep when I am utterly exhausted which I was last night . 

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I spent the entire morning filling out the online registration for vaccine for almost every pharmacy within 500 miles. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
 

3009 new cases in my province today over 6000 in the past 2 days. I feel like I am getting close to the cracking up point. 
 

Hubby says he is going to stay on his increased dosage of Zoloft while things are crazy as he says he feels pretty good. 
 

I am going to ask my dr on my appointment this month to try Wellbutrin. I have panic attacks daily and I can’t take it anymore. 

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I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you to find a vaccine appointment for your mother.  I was able to get one surprisingly easily, so I hope things free up for you and you are able to book it.

Is there any insight as to why cases are rising?

Wishing you some relief from the difficult time you have been going through.

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16 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you to find a vaccine appointment for your mother.  I was able to get one surprisingly easily, so I hope things free up for you and you are able to book it.

Is there any insight as to why cases are rising?

Wishing you some relief from the difficult time you have been going through.

Oh no. It is a vaccine appointment for myself. Mom has hers tomorrow. Cases are rising due to variations and the fact people are at half past give a shyte and are travelling to all different areas because some areas were locked down for ages and they can’t get services where they are so they travel all over the province. 

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