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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


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I would like to order one shipped to US/California.  In Tiffany Blue, my favorite color, size 6 US. J/K, sort of.

They are not seeing our pain just their anger and resentment. When I bought the ring in remembrance of my dad she was resentful and said “ oh what? He is a saint now because he is dead.” That hurt . I

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I really need to develop a bigger sense of self preservation. I need to be important too. Do what is best for me , my business and my family. I need to stay within those boundaries. It has been proven to me time and time and time again that people are essentially out for themselves and if gets hard they don’t care. Same from me from now on. I am NOT knocking myself out to help anyone. It is my nature to help, what I was taught and what my religion teaches but you know what I also need to steel my heart and reduce my compassion. 

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My husband is on track to finish his on the job training in 2 months instead of 6 months. He is trying to get qualified ahead of his class to get us on the priority list for housing faster. We may move sooner but oh well we are moving anyway. 

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On 4/6/2021 at 10:40 AM, Seraphim said:

It is my nature to help, what I was taught and what my religion teaches but you know what I also need to steel my heart and reduce my compassion. 

I understand what you mean, especially when saying religion is what largely motivates you to want to help and be compassionate.  I do think there are a lot of warnings in the Bible though, about when we're specifically not supposed to help or go out of our way, because it could harm us.

Christians are supposed to be as wise as serpents, yet harmless as doves.  But it does say, "as wise as serpents."  We're not supposed to be just dumb idiots helping anyone who tries to trick us or take advantage of us, etc.  

Plus you're not really helping someone when you allow them to take advantage of you.  A lot of times the right thing, the loving thing, is to defend your boundaries, which doesn't feel good to the offender or person trying to get past your boundaries/harm you in some way.

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11 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

I understand what you mean, especially when saying religion is what largely motivates you to want to help and be compassionate.  I do think there are a lot of warnings in the Bible though, about when we're specifically not supposed to help or go out of our way, because it could harm us.

Christians are supposed to be as wise as serpents, yet harmless as doves.  But it does say, "as wise as serpents."  We're not supposed to be just dumb idiots helping anyone who tries to trick us or take advantage of us, etc.  

Plus you're not really helping someone when you allow them to take advantage of you.  A lot of times the right thing, the loving thing, is to defend your boundaries, which doesn't feel good to the offender or person trying to get past your boundaries/harm you in some way.

True, it is all about boundaries. Mine were seriously distorted from childhood on up. I have fixed a lot of them, but need to shore up these ones. Maybe it is a fear of being alone if I enforce the boundaries? Maybe it is better to be alone then to subvert them and look for people worthy of respecting them. 
 

My mom has always told me seek friends that challenge you to grow . Don’t pick friends you always have to pick up out of their own situations all the time. It is dragging you down. You can’t save the world, L, they need to save themselves. Pick friends better educated and more intelligent than yourself to challenge yourself . 
 

For me my husband is that type of friend. He is more educated than me due to opportunities to keep learning through his employment. A lot of my employment was dead end due to needing to support him when he was deep in mental health difficulties and my son who needed a massive amount of support. I can discuss any topic with my husband I love his intelligence. ( However, my mom says I am more intelligent and vastly more people intelligent) 

All my RL friends I am vastly more educated they mostly have support needs. 
 

In other words like I was my husband’s “ savoir “ I need to stop this with friends. 
 

 

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On 4/6/2021 at 1:48 PM, Seraphim said:

My husband’s song for us.

The lead singer for this band was the validictorian at my sister in law's college graduation. He was a very entertaining speaker. He even sang a bit of that song! Obviously he was a "later in life" student.

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I am not liking my new neighbours. The parents are ignorant. I said Hi , I am your neighbour 3 times and they turn their back or don’t answer. The daughter who is 5 , also a pain. She is on the same school bus as my oldest 2 daycare littles. She always stands on the property line and calls the oldest to play with her. No matter how many times I say no she keeps at it and the oldest runs over there . I know they don’t understand liability but I due to running a daycare I can’t have them going over there or them coming to my yard. 
 

The adults leave her out there no supervision. She has a right to play in her own yard of course but not interfere with the running of my business. Supervise your kid! 
 

So they bought a bouncy castle. 😖😖😭😭Their yard I get it. But when I have the Daycare littles out the five-year-old screams at the top of her lungs because she wants my daycare kids to pay attention to her in her bouncy castle. I cannot wait until the older 2 come back after their isolation. 😖😖😖🤬 yes that was sarcastic. Because I know she’s going to be doing the  look at my bouncy castle Nanana boo-boo thing and her parents will be in the house and I have to deal with the mayhem. 

She is out there right now SCREAMING and jumping and the kids are asleep.  

I can’t move fast enough. 

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It is so sad when you get older and the standards of your whole life start to disappear. 
 

My wedding anniversary is this month and already 6 people who were at my wedding are dead including my father. 
 

Prince Philip, the Queen’s Consort my entire life. 
 

Responsibility of service and devotion and democracy. 
 

Life has become devoid and bleak. 
 

Golden Years are a lie. 
 

 

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And to see the end of a great love story is heartbreaking. It makes me weep for loss of love in the world and the loss of one’s unfailing support. So so so heartbreaking for her Majesty all the great supports of her life are gone. 
Her Mom

Her Sister 

And the love of her life since she was a teenager 

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2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Life has become devoid and bleak. 
 

Golden Years are a lie.

Aw Seraphim!!!!  We always have hope, right?  Hope of the eternal... if you're Christian, this sad, dejected life is not the end for us.  There are a lot of verses on Heaven you could look up, and it is SO encouraging.  

Being recepted by relatives, some you've never met becasue they were before you, having them all know you and receive you with open arms... it is incredibly moving and beautiful.

No.  Death is not the end for us at all.  It is an incredible, exciting new adventure.

An adventure that the Bible says will include no more tears.  No more sorrow or suffering (like that which is in this life).

Aw Seraphim... huge hugs!!!!  You're not alone, all your relatives who believed before you are waiting for you to end your race of your life well, to endure to the end well.  Your end will be rewarded with God Himself saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant," like Paul describes.  

We always have Hope.

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