Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

[Seraphim]

Oh yeah, my cat, I haven’t anymore signs of a seizure before or since. The emergency vet said bring him in if it happens again but he has been fine . 

[itsallgrand]

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Oh yeah, my cat, I haven’t anymore signs of a seizure before or since. The emergency vet said bring him in if it happens again but he has been fine . 

The same thing happened to my senior girl earlier this year. It was so distressing. I love her so much. It happened once so far and none since. She never was a cuddles kind of cat and now she is more so. Other than that, she's been fine. Vet said the same thing as yours. 

Here's hoping no more for either of them! I've been spoiling her extra rotten. 

 

[Seraphim]

14 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

The same thing happened to my senior girl earlier this year. It was so distressing. I love her so much. It happened once so far and none since. She never was a cuddles kind of cat and now she is more so. Other than that, she's been fine. Vet said the same thing as yours. 

Here's hoping no more for either of them! I've been spoiling her extra rotten. 

 

Yeah, it is scary! He was sleeping on the back of the couch in the sun. It was extremely hot that day. All of a sudden he rolled down the couch and fell off the end. He kept trying to get up. When he could get up his back feet were pointing outwards and he would fall over and get up and fall over and get up . Then all four paws were pointing totally out and he was goose stepping and scrambled under the table in an instinctive bid to hide and protect himself. His brother jumped in to protect him . I sent my son running for the carrier . It did stop in under 2 mins. He is a senior. He will be 10 next month. His brother is his twin. I am thinking maybe the heat triggered it ? My AC was on but he was in direct sunlight for quite some time. Now I keep the front curtains closed so they can’t get in direct sunlight . 

[itsallgrand]

That's a good idea, I'll be extra careful about her in the sun too after hearing that. 

Today is an absolute scorcher. I've got AC going but she loves sitting in her window. Might have to limit that during these days. Put on bird TV or something lol. 

[Seraphim]

These are my princes. The one on the upper stair had the issue. 

[itsallgrand]

They are so cute!! Is the other guy a bit of a pork chop or just fluffy? Lol. So cuddly. 

 

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, itsallgrand said:

They are so cute!! Is the other guy a bit of a pork chop or just fluffy? Lol. So cuddly. 

 

Oh he is an outright Porker.😂😂He weighs 20 pounds and his brother is about 15 pounds. Both classified as “ obese “: He is very timid and sucky despite his size. His smaller brother is the boss and bold and curious but also loveable. Their names are Ernie ( the porker) and Bert ( the smaller one) They are both polydactyl. 

[mylolita]

8 hours ago, Seraphim said:

She is married now . She got married last month but her husband never featured prominently in the videos. I think I have seen him for like a micro second 3 times in a year. I have seen her brother once and one of her sisters twice. She said she and her family would prefer their privacy. 

I can understand the need to keep most of your life private, although it is a bit of a contradiction when you start a public YouTube channel which is basically a tv show, about yourself. But I do get it.

 

Seraphim, I started clicking on her channel and now I am HOOKED! What a VIEW! My GOD! I was blown away! Her house, so quaint, so peaceful! And I think she is just so beautiful! I fell in, I really did! I feel soothed just hearing her voice! What a breath taking lifestyle! I’m quite jealous! Wow! It made me re-evaluate. 
 

Thanks for putting the video out there.
 

x

[mylolita]

8 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My husband has another assessment today. He is ok as long as he is home. I think the head injury has aggravated his anxiety which has aggravated the speech issues and such. I guess we shall see what the doctor says today. 
 

I am still having a bad time . I broke down crying in the middle of church yesterday. I really have no one to talk to around MY anxiety about this . I can’t tell him as that is not fair. I can’t tell my mom because pretty much all she says is , “ at least your husband isn’t dead. Mine is dead. “ and I have no real friends here. I am crumbling really bad. Here, meaning where I live . 

I’m so sorry Seraphim.

 

You really are getting put through the ringer here. I sympathise about the new house, new area, new friends, new life. I am in the same boat but not even settled yet, we are still in limbo. I keep doubting nearly every other week whether we have made the right move, done the right thing. The house, as lovely as it is (and, I feel highly, highly ungrateful even admitting this, especially after all three moving and sacrifices and financial burdens) but, I don’t know. The house didn’t instantly give me the overwhelming love feels like our last one.

 

I hardly go in it. I use the excuse of too busy with the kids and that it’s a building site but, I think secretly I’m worried it will all get finished to my exact dream standard and then I won’t… fall in love. And that is really important too me, it really is. I am so torn over what kind of lifestyle I want, what is practical, what is right, and what could realistically work for us as a family.

 

I really feel for you. I realise you are maybe struggling with similar issues and then, you have other things piled on top. 
 

I am fast learning nothing is perfect and ever will be. I am maybe learning, home is where your family and heart is… my heart being, my husband, my beautiful kids. My mind. I am slowly starting to accept I don’t have a peaceful, quiet, steady mind. Sometimes I do, briefly. But I just can’t hold myself to those standards. I think this is why I relished instantly the lovely cottage girl on YouTube you watch. I just thought, my God, how peaceful! How perfect! Magical! 
 

I just really feel for you Seraphim and hope you can find some kind of peace in your own way, in your current home, and in your new life and area ♥️ 

 

x

[Seraphim]

9 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I can understand the need to keep most of your life private, although it is a bit of a contradiction when you start a public YouTube channel which is basically a tv show, about yourself. But I do get it.

 

Seraphim, I started clicking on her channel and now I am HOOKED! What a VIEW! My GOD! I was blown away! Her house, so quaint, so peaceful! And I think she is just so beautiful! I fell in, I really did! I feel soothed just hearing her voice! What a breath taking lifestyle! I’m quite jealous! Wow! It made me re-evaluate. 
 

Thanks for putting the video out there.
 

x

I love her channel. Even go back to before her move to her new place . Go back about a year. She is so peaceful and beautiful.  

[mylolita]

4 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I love her channel. Even go back to before her move to her new place . Go back about a year. She is so peaceful and beautiful.  

She really, truly is. Her wedding - the morning? It nearly brought a lump to my throat, I was holding my breath. The way she gathered up those wild flowers! Oh my God! So personal and tender. Exactly how a wedding should be! Reflective and joyous and full of love! Oh man! 
 

It just reminded me of our wedding as well. I did the exact same thing. I just went to a small florists on the morning, chose what spoke too me, what I have always had a romantic affinity too and we bunched them up and I put a few red roses in my hair and we did the same for the bridesmaids and I felt a pang of nostalgia watching it because I felt like I could relate, even though, we have such different lifestyles and are completely opposite personalities! She is the type of girl I would adore as a friend! But I know she wouldn’t want to be my friend! 
 

I knew someone similar! She was always so quietly spoken, so calm! I used to find her quite “flat line” and almost in a dreary half asleep state but, looking back, she was just a calm and silent introvert. I always felt chilled out in her presence. And her parenting style was refreshingly different too mine, and I always loved watching her with her girl and I felt like I learnt something each time we would have a play date.

 

I am an instant fan! Already watched about 6 videos. At 25 she is herself and is doing what her heart desires and being herself and I think that alone is a very big, very special thing, not many people get to do in this life, and especially not at a nice youthful age! 
 

I am envious! But full of admiration! I wonder if she will have lovely babies who grow up in those peaceful rooms and run through the tall grass with her!!

 

x

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I’m so sorry Seraphim.

 

You really are getting put through the ringer here. I sympathise about the new house, new area, new friends, new life. I am in the same boat but not even settled yet, we are still in limbo. I keep doubting nearly every other week whether we have made the right move, done the right thing. The house, as lovely as it is (and, I feel highly, highly ungrateful even admitting this, especially after all three moving and sacrifices and financial burdens) but, I don’t know. The house didn’t instantly give me the overwhelming love feels like our last one.

 

I hardly go in it. I use the excuse of too busy with the kids and that it’s a building site but, I think secretly I’m worried it will all get finished to my exact dream standard and then I won’t… fall in love. And that is really important too me, it really is. I am so torn over what kind of lifestyle I want, what is practical, what is right, and what could realistically work for us as a family.

 

I really feel for you. I realise you are maybe struggling with similar issues and then, you have other things piled on top. 
 

I am fast learning nothing is perfect and ever will be. I am maybe learning, home is where your family and heart is… my heart being, my husband, my beautiful kids. My mind. I am slowly starting to accept I don’t have a peaceful, quiet, steady mind. Sometimes I do, briefly. But I just can’t hold myself to those standards. I think this is why I relished instantly the lovely cottage girl on YouTube you watch. I just thought, my God, how peaceful! How perfect! Magical! 
 

I just really feel for you Seraphim and hope you can find some kind of peace in your own way, in your current home, and in your new life and area ♥️ 

 

x

My husband had an excellent visit with the doctor today! His speech was very good. She said the improvement since last week in every regard was amazing . She kept telling him remember it’s only been 12 days since you had a significant head injury. She said look at how amazing you’re doing with the gravity of the injury you had. She expects him to go back to work mid July with a temporary category of restrictions for 3 months . 

He also made an appointment with Mental Health because the head injury has reactivated his anxiety. She said that was to be expected with the gravity of the head injury but keep with it until you feel better. 

This  is a boost for me and for him I think that our life is not going to blow up. 
 

Moving is difficult for sure! I think sometimes it takes a year or more to sort your life out. You are also in a stage where things move quickly all the time and especially with three young children. Hugs . 

[mylolita]

Sometimes Seraphim, I secretly dream - what if my husband had just sold his business last year. Sold our house. And just, gone off - to live like that?

 

I know it is a buried deep dream of mine, but impractical because we would have no income once the business was sold. Well, we would have to really simplify our lifestyle.

 

I feel like I know I would be happy doing that. I don’t know! Maybe you look at others journeys and think the grass is greener? Do you ever do that? I know I have experienced that feeling myself and also had it projected onto me. The week we sold our house and had it nearly empty, our health visitor/nurse who had been with all my kids since we moved into the old house broke down into tears. She told me she was so sad we were leaving, and that she had had a dream that she could buy our house from us for herself. She always told me it was her dream house.

 

Isnt that funny? And there we were, in that house, wanting something different, when this lovely woman I had known for 4 years was breaking down wishing she could be moving in as we were moving out. So you just never know!

 

x

[mylolita]

3 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

My husband had an excellent visit with the doctor today! His speech was very good. She said the improvement since last week in every regard was amazing . She kept telling him remember it’s only been 12 days since you had a significant head injury. She said look at how amazing you’re doing with the gravity of the injury you had. She expects him to go back to work mid July with a temporary category of restrictions for 3 months . 

He also made an appointment with Mental Health because the head injury has reactivated his anxiety. She said that was to be expected with the gravity of the head injury but keep with it until you feel better. 

This  is a boost for me and for him I think that our life is not going to blow up. 
 

Moving is difficult for sure! I think sometimes it takes a year or more to sort your life out. You are also in a stage where things move quickly all the time and especially with three young children. Hugs . 

We are movers together Seraphim - you, you get the CROWN of all movers! My God! I thought I was restless but your move history blows my mind!

 

I don’t know how you have done it and remained sane and functioning! Seriously! You need to give yourself a huge pat on the back! A medal! 
 

Hugs back atcha! I‘m so glad your husband is doing better!

 

All the best,

 

(I will shut up now about that lovely natural beauty and her cottage life and go obsess on my own - LOL! Thanks for the recommendation!)

 

x

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Sometimes Seraphim, I secretly dream - what if my husband had just sold his business last year. Sold our house. And just, gone off - to live like that?

 

I know it is a buried deep dream of mine, but impractical because we would have no income once the business was sold. Well, we would have to really simplify our lifestyle.

 

I feel like I know I would be happy doing that. I don’t know! Maybe you look at others journeys and think the grass is greener? Do you ever do that? I know I have experienced that feeling myself and also had it projected onto me. The week we sold our house and had it nearly empty, our health visitor/nurse who had been with all my kids since we moved into the old house broke down into tears. She told me she was so sad we were leaving, and that she had had a dream that she could buy our house from us for herself. She always told me it was her dream house.

 

Isnt that funny? And there we were, in that house, wanting something different, when this lovely woman I had known for 4 years was breaking down wishing she could be moving in as we were moving out. So you just never know!

 

x

Oh yes! I always look at other lives and dream. Now though the dreams are more direct and have a focus. I know what I want so I watch YouTube channels that focus on that. We want to RV or van life most of the year. Live in nature . Simplicity and experiences. We have had things , lots of things. Now we want experiences. 
 

We will have a little home base for our son to live in and for us to come home to. 
 

We never know what is in people’s minds sometimes, their wishes and dreams and desires. 

[Seraphim]

And right on que…. The handle fell off my fridge today. All I can do at this point is laugh. Universe you are ridiculous. 

[Seraphim]

My sweet husband’s blue eyes 

[Seraphim]

[Seraphim]

I am not understanding the view, “ you’re the mom so what you say goes”. They didn’t make a baby by themselves. My husband NEVER and I mean NEVER would have allowed me to cut his parents out of our child’s life. 

 

[Seraphim]

Today is Prince William’s 40th Birthday. 

[luminousone]

I’m so sorry you are going through this, Sera! I will say prayers for your husband’s continued healing and for peace for you. It must be so difficult to hold it all together for your family

[Seraphim]

27 minutes ago, luminousone said:

I’m so sorry you are going through this, Sera! I will say prayers for your husband’s continued healing and for peace for you. It must be so difficult to hold it all together for your family

I was excited after seeing the doctor but was quickly back in the quagmire of anxiety by the evening . I just want to go away by myself somewhere . I wish I could for a few weeks and just be away from everyone and everything. 

[Seraphim]

Last night I retreated into my room last night away from everyone and everything at about 6:30 PM. I fell asleep at 10 PM or there about . 

[Seraphim]

Wow, explosion of consciousness lately . Massive. Over the last few days. Similar to when I was doing EMDR. My mind is expanding . 

[Seraphim]

One more week and it is 2 weeks off work!