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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


Seraphim
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Nope nope nope no more nuts . The allergy has gotten nasty . Spent all day today in the bathroom with diarrhea and throwing up because I ate nuts yesterday. I love them . But no more . 

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Feeling much better today thankfully. I am not anaphylactic to nuts obviously but it is not a good situation eating them. I become intensely gastrointestinal sick about 24 hours after eating them and it lasts all day. Nuts are one of my fav things so it is sad to lose them but they are a nope. Can’t eat them any more. It happens every time and gets worse all the time . 
 

Might suggest to my spud we have another picnic today. 

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I don’t know …. Am I strange ? Last weekend we had an air show on base and it took over an hour waiting in line to get on base and to get back home . This weekend it is a mass trash sale. Base once again flooded with people. It feels so “ un natural”. We used to have air shows at our other posting too and people would flop out their lawn chairs in my yard to watch because well I guess because. I would be flabbergasted. Imagine if I just flopped out my chair in someone’s yard and invaded their space ? These are our homes . Coming into base you are now under federal law and your right to roam free as you please is now restricted. Please don’t invade our living spaces . 

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14 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Wow that does sound like invading your space lol!  Goodness!

How is your hubby doing?  

He drove for the first time today on a country road. He did about 20 minutes and then got a headache and I took over . 
He has a lot of short term memory struggles like remembering what he is doing and why he is doing it. Example: He went into the grocery store to get the ingredients to make his most delicious Sicilian stew. My son said he forgot why he was there and what he was getting. So he is struggling in that way but making strides in others. But he only had the TBI 17 days ago and the doctor thinks he is doing very well. I think it will come and there are therapies to help memory. My son and I are struggling to see him struggle. My son left the grocery store crying. I am sitting here crying now because my son was crying. It is a roller coaster. 

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8 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

My son left the grocery store crying. I am sitting here crying now because my son was crying. It is a roller coaster. 

Oh ugh!!!!!!  I'm so sorry Seraphim.  I've had reactions like that, too, where watching someone you love in pain or struggling just causes you to break down in public.  It's just too much to see them struggle or where they're at in their struggle.

I'm praying for him.  I know it takes time with a TBI, but the journey seems long 😞 

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10 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Oh ugh!!!!!!  I'm so sorry Seraphim.  I've had reactions like that, too, where watching someone you love in pain or struggling just causes you to break down in public.  It's just too much to see them struggle or where they're at in their struggle.

I'm praying for him.  I know it takes time with a TBI, but the journey seems long 😞 

He is so antsy because he is ADHD . He is very frustrated and just wants to get back to life but he knows he is not ready . His job is primarily working on training plans and holding meetings he can’t do that at this point. So he is frustrated and angry and afraid. He is afraid for his career and to be truthful so am I. The doctor has told him not to worry they can’t do anything to him. Also that he WILL make it back. The more stressed I become the more my PTSD floods me and I forget how to do things as I disassociate. My brain goes into total and utter  shut down. The last few KM’s home I could barely remember how to drive the car. All functioning memory is just shot when that happens. Then as I recover it is ok. Lucky now I can just lay down and rest. 
 

We went for a lovely picnic today on Georgian Bay but it was a lot for everyone. We are a family on the brink if we can’t handle a picnic . 

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2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

He is afraid for his career and to be truthful so am I.

I would be too.  Would he get an OK disability pay etc?  I've thought of that before for my husband's line of work... if he becomes disabled, we can make it based on the benefits he'd get (they're very very good) and that gives me a little more peace.

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

The doctor has told him not to worry they can’t do anything to him. Also that he WILL make it back.

That is SO encouraging to hear!  I hope they are right!  I'm glad the doctor is so positive, usually they give the worst possible outcome, so if this one isn't hopefully that is a VERY good sign.

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

The more stressed I become the more my PTSD floods me and I forget how to do things as I disassociate. My brain goes into total and utter  shut down. The last few KM’s home I could barely remember how to drive the car. All functioning memory is just shot when that happens. Then as I recover it is ok. Lucky now I can just lay down and rest. 

Good God that sounds so awful!  I'm so so sorry Seraphim.  I'm sure you have access to the right meds and it's just the newness of all of this probably.  I would definitely have to visit my counselor if that were me 😞 it sounds very dangerous to be driving!

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3 hours ago, Seraphim said:

The VA like any insurance company goes out of their way to deny you for anything unfortunately. They could say because he was ON HIS WAY to work and NOT ACTUAL AT WORK that disqualifies him from any medical pension. 

Oh ok I've seen that exact scenario happen with one that my husband's coworkers.  Had an accident on the way to work or coming home, and they denied help somehow even though my husband said they technically should have granted it. His family had to fight it and he thinks they eventually won but it was a pain having to fight them so long.

I'm praying for his recovery 🙏

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Phew has been about 40 mins since I took my meds. I had one at my reg time when I wake up with my blood pressure and cholesterol med. Then my panic was rising faster than I could control I took 2 more . It is in full effect now and the panic is gone and my body and mind are relaxing . Phew. Now I can do what I need to do. 

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On 6/26/2022 at 5:18 PM, Seraphim said:

 

WOW. That VIEW!

 

And could you have a more docile and relaxing my soft voice! I am drifting here! 
 

It reminds me of my time I worked in a library! Such a nice time of my life! 
 

The fact she has penned a book is so impressive too me! I can’t wait to see what it is like once out. Major kudos, I can imagine that being a really labour intensive thing to get done, of the mental kind! 
 

I love her channel! I am addicted now Seraphim! Thanks for putting me onto it!

 

x

Edited by mylolita
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