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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


Seraphim
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OMG someone has been running their lawn mower for the past 2 hours. I am about to lose my crap. NO ONE’S lawn here is that big . It is seriously pissing me off and giving me a headache. 

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I am really struggling. I am fearful that my husband’s stuttering might become permanent from too many head injuries. Every so often I have to go sit in the car and cry so I don’t upset him. I am struggling so bad. 

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My husband is doing a little better today. He seems to improve a bit every day. I think this is going to be a long haul. Due to accumulated brain injury he has developed a stutter and searches for words. His memory is fine and his intelligence intact was the language is struggling. Not all the time , but noticeable. He NEVER had that. As directed I am keeping him quiet and not viewing screens of any kind. The dizziness and headache are going but the language issue persists . 
 

I am terrified for him. Utterly terrified. I go into the car and cry so he can’t see me. I am not sure how much more I can deal with . 

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I'm so sorry Seraphim.  I used to work/volunteer in an outpatient therapy setting, and usually these things improve with time but everyone's brain is different.  

The brain is so amazing... it can heal itself with proper care.  Maybe you could look into neuroplasticity and maybe there's something on YouTube that would help - even listening to certain frequency sounds can be healing in strange way they don't understand yet.  I have a friend whose daughter used things like this, and she improved dramatically (it was a couple of years though).

 

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5 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

I'm so sorry Seraphim.  I used to work/volunteer in an outpatient therapy setting, and usually these things improve with time but everyone's brain is different.  

The brain is so amazing... it can heal itself with proper care.  Maybe you could look into neuroplasticity and maybe there's something on YouTube that would help - even listening to certain frequency sounds can be healing in strange way they don't understand yet.  I have a friend whose daughter used things like this, and she improved dramatically (it was a couple of years though).

 

Yes, everyone’s brain is so different that is what the military doctor said. I have had him listening to classical music closing his eyes and lying down. He has improved from an all out stutter of some words to the words being a drawn out sound in some cases , the word searching is becoming faster. Now he looks for a less complicated word that means the same instead so the brain is working and faster and more creatively. So it is an improvement. 
It is not even a week so I am glad he is improving. I will look at the link for sure. 
 

He gets reassessed Monday and then they will decide what happens from there. If they don’t offer him help I am bringing up the concussion clinic and I have also told him to apply to VA for injury because he was on duty . 

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46 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I have also told him to apply to VA for injury because he was on duty . 

We've been through something similar to that... I hope it works out, it seems like they're always looking to do the least rather than actually FIX the issue 😕 

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Today is a complete and utter shyte show. I was just about to take my husband to his appointment and I think one of my cats had a seizure. So I am frantically calling any vet I can find . The only one who can take him is an emergency vet and it is $200 to walk through the door. I get him into a carrier and then it stops. They tell me to keep monitoring him and if it happens again bring him in. 
While the cat is having a seizure my son runs from the house screaming and screaming and runs through the neighborhood. He comes back and I have to take my husband to his appointment. Then I have to go grocery shopping dragging my husband with me . 

I want to run away SCREAMING . 

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Other than hubby no one to wish Happy Father’s Day. My dad died in 2020 of diabetes.  My father-in-law died Canada Day last year of Parkinson’s and dementia. And my step dad died last November of congestive heart failure. We are both fatherless and our son has no grandpas. My grandpas have been gone 47 years and 9 years. 

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1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

Other than hubby no one to wish Happy Father’s Day. My dad died in 2020 of diabetes.  My father-in-law died Canada Day last year of Parkinson’s and dementia. And my step dad died last November of congestive heart failure. We are both fatherless and our son has no grandpas. My grandpas have been gone 47 years and 9 years. 

Sorry to hear this Seraphim. Life really is short and precious. I am starting to see this as I get into my early 30s.

 

x

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10 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Sorry to hear this Seraphim. Life really is short and precious. I am starting to see this as I get into my early 30s.

 

x

It is indeed very short and life changes in an instant sometimes. You never know what is going to change . My best advice is to live in a healthy way and be happy . Live in a way you have no regrets. 

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On 6/3/2022 at 9:33 AM, Seraphim said:

OMG someone has been running their lawn mower for the past 2 hours. I am about to lose my crap. NO ONE’S lawn here is that big . It is seriously pissing me off and giving me a headache. 

I had a neighbor once that was doing that and I was annoyed. Turns out he had advanced cancer and he was determined to continue doing normal daily things and it took so much out of him. He passed away, sadly. 
 

I had no idea that he was sick! Our garage was located at the back of our house off of an alley and theirs was out front. So we rarely talked. Apparently he got cancer and was dead within months, and I didn’t know it. I felt awful - I could have done something nice at least.

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Hope your husband is continuing to improve. He can be helped by a speech therapist for the stuttering and language, but it sounds like there has been improvement.

How is your cat doing?

My friend’s cat fainted at the vet office and then it happened again at home. Of course it was on a Sunday night and it turns out that COVID made our nighttime emergency vet services close down. So the nearest one is 45 minutes away. In the end, she had to wait until morning and was able to get in with the regular vet first thing. And - they have no idea what is going on but he is okay for now.

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8 hours ago, Seraphim said:

 

This slowness is beautiful Seraphim and not something I can relate too! I wish I could!

 

Even the way she daintily, softly, snips those flowers without any rush… wow! I can’t relate! I realise everything I do is, quite hyper, fast paced. If I were cutting those flowers it would’ve been, bunch them together, “SNIP SNIP SNIP” and thrown into the basket! 
 

I love this though. I love this natural, steady, quiet essence some people possess. I love it because it is the opposite to myself, and it’s unattainable for me, so I admire it greatly! 
 

These organic, natural, cottage single old throw back lifestyles of often single women are fascinating too us, I have watched a good few. I find them sedating and lovely. I guess we are all trying to live so we are “in the moment”, “witnessing the present” instead of, rushing too or thinking about the next thing! 
 

Very soothing! 
 

I used to watch Girl in Calico homesteading too! It made me want to don a linen apron and walk through a field.

 

x

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4 hours ago, mylolita said:

This slowness is beautiful Seraphim and not something I can relate too! I wish I could!

 

Even the way she daintily, softly, snips those flowers without any rush… wow! I can’t relate! I realise everything I do is, quite hyper, fast paced. If I were cutting those flowers it would’ve been, bunch them together, “SNIP SNIP SNIP” and thrown into the basket! 
 

I love this though. I love this natural, steady, quiet essence some people possess. I love it because it is the opposite to myself, and it’s unattainable for me, so I admire it greatly! 
 

These organic, natural, cottage single old throw back lifestyles of often single women are fascinating too us, I have watched a good few. I find them sedating and lovely. I guess we are all trying to live so we are “in the moment”, “witnessing the present” instead of, rushing too or thinking about the next thing! 
 

Very soothing! 
 

I used to watch Girl in Calico homesteading too! It made me want to don a linen apron and walk through a field.

 

x

She is married now . She got married last month but her husband never featured prominently in the videos. I think I have seen him for like a micro second 3 times in a year. I have seen her brother once and one of her sisters twice. She said she and her family would prefer their privacy. 

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, luminousone said:

Hope your husband is continuing to improve. He can be helped by a speech therapist for the stuttering and language, but it sounds like there has been improvement.

How is your cat doing?

My friend’s cat fainted at the vet office and then it happened again at home. Of course it was on a Sunday night and it turns out that COVID made our nighttime emergency vet services close down. So the nearest one is 45 minutes away. In the end, she had to wait until morning and was able to get in with the regular vet first thing. And - they have no idea what is going on but he is okay for now.

My husband has another assessment today. He is ok as long as he is home. I think the head injury has aggravated his anxiety which has aggravated the speech issues and such. I guess we shall see what the doctor says today. 
 

I am still having a bad time . I broke down crying in the middle of church yesterday. I really have no one to talk to around MY anxiety about this . I can’t tell him as that is not fair. I can’t tell my mom because pretty much all she says is , “ at least your husband isn’t dead. Mine is dead. “ and I have no real friends here. I am crumbling really bad. Here, meaning where I live . 

Edited by Seraphim
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