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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


Seraphim
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I woke again last night with a horrible panic attack. There are too many overwhelming things happening in my life . 
 

Yesterday my husband made a leap in his short term memory. He remember what he went into the store for . He said he really had to concentrate to remember and when we were home he remembered to put away the groceries something he didn’t remember to do a few days ago. 
 

He forgets what he is doing half way through and sometimes forgets he is talking . When his brain really over loads he can’t get words out for about 30 seconds and his eyes flutter. 
 

He said he is done being at home he is frustrated and wants to go to work. At the same time he is afraid that his speech and memory concerns will impede him and people will think less of him or won’t have patience . 

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We have to change our holidays because of course, my MIL planned my husband‘s father‘s internment for during our holidays. That in turn  means that I can’t meet up with my best friend from high school that I haven’t seen since I was 17 she was supposed to be coming through Toronto Airport but now I’m gonna be on holiday that day. 🤯🤯🤬🤬

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Posted (edited)

Today is my FIL’s internment. It was his funeral day last year. So the exact day they will be putting his urn in the memorial bench. It is a carved marble bench that took 11 months to come from the US. My MIL wants to have dinner afterwards but it has to be early . My husband can’t drive on the highways so I have to do all the driving back-and-forth today and the whole holiday. And it is a 5 Hour drive tomorrow and a 4 Hour drive today. I don’t wanna get home at 11 o’clock at night and then have to set out very early in the morning again. I want to go to bed at 9 o’clock and wake up  refreshed like other normal people going on holiday. 
 

When we got married we had to change our wedding date because my father-in-law was going to be on holidays in the UK and there was no way he was changing his holiday so you change your wedding 33 years later I’m still changing plans and the man’s gone. 🤦‍♀️

Edited by Seraphim
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The travel was really hard on my son we might leave him home next time . We want him to have experiences but unpredictability is just too much for him. He really really really has a hard time processing all the change. He had a lot of problems self regulating. As distressing as it was to him it was to us as well. Our hotel room only had a shower and he was able to have a full shower ! Yay! At home it is baths only. He has been horrified of showers since toddlerhood. 
 

The Rogers issue really caused him a lot of distress because debit and credit were out in varying degrees all over so we had to find a bank machine and take out cash. I was hearing back home that people were having TV issues even after everything came back up . 
 

He is calm now that he has spent a night at home in his own bed and the cats are fine and TV and internet are back. 
 

We brought back some rock from the Canadian Shield. I will show the rocks around my tree in a post below. And you can see shield rock in some of my pics above . 

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I seriously had the best day. Hubby and I went off on our own and walked the beach for 4 hours and had a picnic and I took some farm photography shots. Going to the beach just let’s you RELAX. 

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Going on another picnic with a former daycare family from our last posting.  We are meeting them at a provincial park halfway in the middle between both places .  They are being posted back to BC this fall .  I had their little guy from the time he was 11 months until he was four . I love that kid. 

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We found a way to deal more effectively with my son’s meltdowns. We just say nothing and don’t engage him. He goes off and decompresses and processes and comes back and is agreeable. Just don’t engage. 
 

The past two days I have been dealing with horrible horrible neck pain and inflammation from previous injuries. I have been using a cold compress and massage . One side is now completely better and the other side is much improved. Maybe ice packs for another day will fix it up . 
 

I start back to work from my holidays tomorrow. I have to transition the new little guy. I hope it goes well . 
 

Tomorrow hubby sees the doctor again. He has had some improvements. He has had increased short term memory gains. He has been driving more and for longer periods . He can watch more things. I would say his anxiety and lack of confidence fluctuates but decreased. I guess tomorrow we find out when he can go back to work. 

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