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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


Seraphim
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On 4/20/2022 at 5:41 AM, Seraphim said:

Thank you LUM!! How have you been?

Doing okay. Work has been intense for several reasons (end of year testing mostly, but some drama too). Cancer treatments continue to work. As long as I get good sleep, I’m good.

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On 5/7/2022 at 12:36 PM, luminousone said:

Doing okay. Work has been intense for several reasons (end of year testing mostly, but some drama too). Cancer treatments continue to work. As long as I get good sleep, I’m good.

So glad to know you are still healthy ❤️

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Posted (edited)

My mom‘s hearing is getting so bad even with her hearing aids in. We were driving in the car and I was talking with my husband who has been duty dweeb all week. He was explaining to me by someone needed to be arrested. And all I said was oh what a punk, while talking to HIM.  She thought I said the word that started with a C and ended with a T. And started screaming at me but how not to say that word that she hates that friggin word and that my stupid father used to say that friggin word and just kept screaming. I said fine no problem don’t be a friggin nut case I’ll go home. And she said do what you have to do. Then later she comes to find out I only said the word punk PUNK. And she goes oh sorry I thought you said the other word. I said what ungodly reason what I have to say the other word. I said if you know you can’t hear don’t go bat shyte crazy on somebody without checking what they said. I said you’ve made me very angry and this is now an uncomfortable visit and it was supposed to be a nice Mother’s Day. I said I came here to spend Mother’s Day with you so you wouldn’t spend the Mother’s Day weekend by yourself and I am not with my Mother’s Day people. You’re the one that can’t hear so why don’t you check with people about what they said instead of going nuts. 

Edited by Seraphim
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I also stayed with her from Friday until Sunday. One night she pokes me going get your feet out of my back. I’m like I’m turned the complete other way how could I have my feet in your back. I think she was dreaming. 🙄😡 then one of her friends text her a happy Mother’s Day at 6:45 Sunday morning which woke me up after the wake up of get your feet out of my back.And she says to me oh well I never heard it , it was in the other room and I said yeah well I’m not deaf I can hear something 50 feet away. 

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I have a migraine today. I did go for a walk with my son though. It is a lovely Spring day. 20C and flowers are out and leaves on the trees bursting out. It might be close to 30C on Thursday and will be time to turn on the AC that day. 
 

I am so so so glad to be home . I hate to say it but my beloved mom has become an annoying old lady. Ever since my step dad died it is like she has become totally helpless. She was never like this . She keeps saying I have never lived alone in my life and I hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it. Well, she can’t live with me the military won’t permit it and I am not throwing away my cats. I love her but Jeebus she is REALLY REALLY REALLY annoying me. No visit now until June, I don’t care if the world caves in. 

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We can love our mothers and still realize they can be demanding and annoying.

One thing my brother does is deify the dead. Like, he literally thinks it's a sin to think or say anything negative about someone who's dead. I do not subscribe to that belief. I can miss my mother but still realize she said and did a lot of hurtful things to me.

Sorry about your migraine. Hope you feel better soon. 

 

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I had 2 Tylenol 1 and a gravol so it should go away. True , I don’t deify the dead either. I know what my father was and I will say it. Many family members who have passed away I am realistic about. 
 

I love my mom but my god lately . She is IMPOSSIBLE. I am hoping that this will get better as she rebuilds her life after the initial grieving of my step dad. 

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Our one cat that is particularly attached to me has become very insulted at my very regular leaving. Last night after I got home he wouldn’t look at me or even come near me for about five hours he was so insulted. My son said it was like he was depressed the entire weekend. When I’m home he’s always sitting right by me tapping me nuzzling me wants to be cuddled wants to be pet. He’s a very needy sort of cat. Anxious in personality and LOOOOOOVES mommy. 

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Posted (edited)

My mom finally got a hold of her doctor today and got around the receptionist ,thankfully. Apparently she’s the phone and virtual gatekeeper. So my mom had a half an hour conversation with her doctor on the phone. So they are sending her a specialist to find out what’s going on with the vertigo and getting her grief counselling and help with support at home. 
 

I know she won’t put up with anybody coming to her apartment because that’s just her unless absolutely everything is perfect and she is perfect nobody enters.  I’m going to have to put some very strong boundaries in place with her. She is overwhelming me and making me physically sick . She is just grasping onto me with a death grip and it is like a family of squirrels running about in her head on how to keep people with her . 

Edited by Seraphim
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I don’t know what I have done to my poor pinky finger . I keep my wedding band on that finger . Underneath where the ring was my finger is in aching pain . 🤷🏻‍♀️
 

It is really hot for May. Almost 30 C and I turned my AC on. 
 

The increased sun has really improved my mood a lot . 
 

I have stayed a bit removed from my mom the past few days. I wait for her to message me and she has kept her emotional outbursts under control. I guess she feels better that her doctor will help. 

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5 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Right? I am not sure what my deal is with the universe the past few years but it stinks . 

Perhaps you're finally realizing there's no man in the sky looking out for us.  If that were the case, why all the atrociousness mankind committed against each other?

I'm actually curious about what makes you want to believe in a god who couldn't care less for his children.  You have kids.  Would the thought of making them suffer for even a minute enter your mind?  

Yet people are resigned to burn in fire F O R E V E R?

Can't think of a worse dad.

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3 minutes ago, LikeWater said:

You're saying you agree with the idea of burning humans forever.

 

Imagine one minute of that.  If humans have more mercy than God, why would I worship such a creature?

Where did she say that?

I suggest you don't go on to someone's personal journal and criticize them for their beliefs. That's somewhat rude, IMO. If you want to ask a question, perhaps try phrasing it so you don't sound condescending or critical.

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21 minutes ago, LikeWater said:

You're saying you agree with the idea of burning humans forever.

 

Imagine one minute of that.  If humans have more mercy than God, why would I worship such a creature?

Excuse me did I ask you to believe anything ? Nope. Not at all. If you want to proselytize I would suggest doing it elsewhere. Make your own thread about it. 

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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Where did she say that?

I suggest you don't go on to someone's personal journal and criticize them for their beliefs. That's somewhat rude, IMO. If you want to ask a question, perhaps try phrasing it so you don't sound condescending or critical.

Sorry, I was actually replying to you.  First, let's not clump all gods together. Buddah, for example, expects you to not be perfect because none of us are are.  His mission with nirvana is to get as close as you can.  The difference is he gives you as many chances as it takes.

We won't agree on this subject, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone here.  I just enjoy opposing conversation.  Maybe to a fault.

Edited by LikeWater
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17 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Excuse me did I ask you to believe anything ? Nope. Not at all. If you want to proselytize I would suggest doing it elsewhere. Make your own thread about it. 

I've made enough threads.  Neither of you answered my question.  What would it take to burn your child alive?  If it's an outrageous question, question your own beliefs.

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Just now, LikeWater said:

I've made enough threads.  Neither of you answered my question.  What would it take to burn your child alive?  If it's an outrageous question, question your own beliefs.

I will not answer your ridiculous and offensive question.

And you have no idea what my "beliefs" are. You are assuming. 

There are many sites where people can vigorously debate with online strangers. Perhaps check them out instead of intruding on someone's personal journal.

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2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I will not answer your ridiculous and offensive question.

And you have no idea what my "beliefs" are. You are assuming. 

There are many sites where people can vigorously debate with online strangers. Perhaps check them out instead of intruding on someone's personal journal.

No worries, I won't be sticking around.  I do appreciate your honesty, though.  That it's not even a question for any sane parent :)

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