Advice about young girls

[Tallfool]

I currently don't, but I've only dated or been in a relationship with girls of my age.

[RayofLighten]

You're clearly observing these girls enough to know that one of them is gay

[Tallfool]

I don't know, it's a guess.

[j.man]

You gotta stop calling them "young girls," bro. Unless they actually are, in which case you've gotta stop doing a lot of things. I'm far from the hyper feminist who gets bent up over semantics and colloquialisms, but there's a lot to cringe and even be concerned about here seeing you repeatedly refer to these (hopefully) young women as "young girls" or "girls."

[mustlovedogs]

These girls have a crush on him and he’s asking how to behave. That’s what I got from the post.

 

OP, stay away. It’s common for teenage girls to like men in positions of power, especially if you’re attractive. Don’t reciprocate any flirting and perhaps even be a bit rude.

[Tallfool]

I never actually thought about that, girls as in 'girl'friend etc not 'woman' friend, and they're young as in they're a lot younger than me. But sure, young women/women would be less condescending I suppose.

[SherrySher]

I might have agreed with you Mustlove, if it were not for this quote from, OP.

 

In fantasy world, all of these girls are in my 'cave of comforts' and I'm looking after them all!

 

That gave me the creeps.

[Tallfool]

These girls have a crush on him and he’s asking how to behave. That’s what I got from the post.

 

OP, stay away. It’s common for teenage girls to like men in positions of power, especially if you’re attractive. Don’t reciprocate any flirting and perhaps even be a bit rude.

 

yeah, this ^^^ and I'm not used to being in a situation like this is the main point. So now I've brought it out and addressed what may be happening and I'm not just existing in my own head with it all I feel more grounded.

[Tinydance]

OK - slightly different perspective here....I totally agree that of course with the under age girls you shouldn't do anything and preferably not even think of them "in that way". However, regarding ones that are of legal age, I know it perhaps sounds wrong because of such a large gap, but really it's at the discretion of the people in question if they're interested in each other or not. When I was 19, I started seeing a 35-year-old guy. It turned out later that he lied about his age and he was really 42 but the point is I was still seeing him at "35", so still a very big age gap. I didn't really think of that guy as a long term relationship because he wanted something really serious but I didn't. Nonetheless, that relationship wasn't illegal because the legal age of sexual consent in my country is 18. I do agree that these girls are too young for you maturity wise but if you're just looking for sex and so are they (I mean more the ones in their 20's) then technically who can stop you?

[Tallfool]

OK - slightly different perspective here....I totally agree that of course with the under age girls you shouldn't do anything and preferably not even think of them "in that way". However, regarding ones that are of legal age, I know it perhaps sounds wrong because of such a large gap, but really it's at the discretion of the people in question if they're interested in each other or not. When I was 19, I started seeing a 35-year-old guy. It turned out later that he lied about his age and he was really 42 but the point is I was still seeing him at "35", so still a very big age gap. I didn't really think of that guy as a long term relationship because he wanted something really serious but I didn't. Nonetheless, that relationship wasn't illegal because the legal age of sexual consent in my country is 18. I do agree that these girls are too young for you maturity wise but if you're just looking for sex and so are they (I mean more the ones in their 20's) then technically who can stop you?

 

I apprecite what you're saying, (I know a 26 year old woman who has just started a family with a 70 odd year old man and they seem happy as pie), I'm not looking for a liason with any of these young women dispite my regretable earlier comment about that cave thing which was a stupidly flippant thing to say.

I should not have started this post at all really as I do know what is what, but I just wanted to get my experience so far out there and give myself some grounding, or something.

[RayofLighten]

These girls have a crush on him and he’s asking how to behave. That’s what I got from the post.

 

OP, stay away. It’s common for teenage girls to like men in positions of power, especially if you’re attractive. Don’t reciprocate any flirting and perhaps even be a bit rude.

 

At his age he should know exactly how to behave in these situations.

[Tallfool]

At his age he should know exactly how to behave in these situations.

 

By ignoring it and doing nothing

[mustlovedogs]

I might have agreed with you Mustlove, if it were not for this quote from, OP.

 

 

 

That gave me the creeps.

 

That’s fair, I agree - I kinda read it as more of an aside mixed with a joke like “hey, it’s nice to be flirted with, but I know it’s nothing more than a fantasy” - and in this context I read fantasy as “something that stays in your head” not like a “sexual fantasy”

 

Maybe I’m wrong

 

I just know when I was a teenager I had more than one crush on men too old for me [emoji28]

[Annia]

If teenagers were showing interest in me somehow I'd be cold with them and ignore all their advances. I wouldn't want to fall into a dangerous and compromising situation.

[Hollyj]

How old are you?

[Hollyj]

I might have agreed with you Mustlove, if it were not for this quote from, OP.

 

 

 

That gave me the creeps.

 

Me too...........

[Annia]

How old are you?

 

 

He's 37 years old.

[Hollyj]

He's 37 years old.

 

Thank you. That makes this thread even more uncomfortable.

[ndk]

It's been said once or twice... Find another hangout spot, not a teenager spot.

 

By being continuously present at that place and time, you are assumed to be wanting relationships with those people.

[Wiseman2]

Ogling nubile young bodies at the gym to spank the monkey? Why not get on dating sites.

Im 37 and at a sports club I've noticed that one or two of the younger girls will either watch me, come and stand unnecessarily close to me

In fantasy world, all of these girls are in my 'cave of comforts'

[Tallfool]

If teenagers were showing interest in me somehow I'd be cold with them and ignore all their advances. I wouldn't want to fall into a dangerous and compromising situation.

 

and this is howit has been/what i've been doing.

[Tallfool]

That was a poor joke on my part. It's not my intention to be there for what you're suggesting.

[Tallfool]

it's what you first thought, a poor joke on my part

[Tallfool]

I've given some of you the impression that I am a ticking time bomb who is imminently, or at some point about to begin grooming and commit SR because I've got nothing else going on at the moment relationship wise, and I'm a predatory creep with nefarious intentions, on here trying to get people to give me some sort of go-ahead. This is not the case, nor will it be!

I shouldn't have started this post, but here I am and it is what it is. I just wanted to share what was going on, thanks for the responses.

[Rihannon]

OP is trying to sweep this under the rug saying "Oh I didn't mean it like that" and "I'm not really thinking like that," etc. etc. But, yes, you are thinking like that. If not for the judgement of others, you would totally love to be surrounded by beautiful teenage girls giving you attention, and keeping them in a cave like pets or livestock, as if they weren't actual people, away from the rest of the world so you could have them all to yourself. That is the truth. But you do live in a society with others, and you know that's just an initial fantasy born of lust, and I really, really hope that's not what you really want the world to be like. Would YOU want to be kept captive by someone to be used for sex, when you were a 16-year-old boy? Would you want someone to wish that were YOUR life, and look at you as if you weren't even a person, but just a toy?

 

And here's what I think: you can't help being physically attracted to inappropriate people. That's not the problem. That's OK. Are you here to ask if that's an OK gut (or lust, whatever) reaction? I say yes, that's OK. Girls can physically develop mature bodies before they are emotionally and mentally mature. So, yeah, you might be physically attracted to them. That's not the problem.

 

The point is that you are mature and you can rise above your lusty physical reactions, and you can be an elevated being, not just some animal who has to react to stimulus. You're a civilized, thinking, morally-directed adult grown person. I hope that you want the world to be a safe place for young people. I hope that you want to be a part of making this world a safe place for young people who have no control over how quickly their bodies develop. I hope that you would forgive and protect young people who might make poor choices around adults. (Not that merely standing close to an adult is a automatically poor choice, deserving of some sort of "she's asking for it" accusation! I mean for all we know, these teen girls are oblivious to you and to your awareness of them). I hope that you realize your role in their lives, to be a mature adult in their world, and not to promote and condone abuse of your role an and take advantage of their youth and naivety. Be a GOOD man.