what should I do when co parenting is to close ?

[kristy8899]

I broke up with my current girlfriend for about a week. She had sex with her baby father within that week. I forgave her but it now seems like they dont have co parenting boundaries.

They sometimes talk in the car late at night supposedly about the baby. Anyday he can come over her house anytime of the day or late at night to see the baby.

She even vents to him about our problems. They also do personal favors for eachother. Just yesterday she was crying to me about a conversation she had with him about their past.

When I tryed to talk to her about how close they are. She tells me to grow up it isnt about me its about the baby. I feel like a fool for sticking around supporting this but I love her. Before they even started to become close she told me she would have bounderies.

Since we been having alot of arguments and hes helping her financially she has been going back on her word. She also says " if you want to be with me you have to get use to him being around and he was the baby father before you and he will be the baby father after you"

I'm so upset because she never acted this way with me. If this was you what would you do? am I wrong ?

[pippy longstocking]

She is showing you that when you want bounderies because you are in a relationship with her , she will throw the baby card at you ...she didn't wait long to get back in bed with him and over all mate , I think you are far down the list of pecking order ...

[figureitout23]

Second what pippy said.

[MissCanuck]

It's not all about the baby for her.

 

Crying over a conversation about their past is evidence of that. She's still into him. I would let her go, so she is free to pursue that relationship again and you are free to pursue someone who actually understands boundaries. This girl says she does, but her actions indicate otherwise.

[SherrySher]

It is unacceptable.

 

Yes, co parenting involves having to speak to the other parent now and then but only for a few moments and normally over the phone. Going over to each other's house is not necessary.

Even if he wanted to visit with the child, he can stop by, pick up the child and go.

 

What they are doing, is having a personal relationship and using the child as the excuse as to why they need to be together all the time. They have already proved to you that they are not finished with one another with them having sex.

 

You can't dictate to her to stop doing this, unfortunately, all you can do is walk away. It won't get better and they are both playing you for a fool.

[Seraphim]

What she has going is a relationship not co parenting. You should just leave because I think you are a place marker unfortunately.

[abitbroken]

This sounds absolutely identical to another recent thread. Are you sure you didn't post about this woman under another screen id?

[abitbroken]

And if it was you --- or if it was someone else who wrote that other thread -- the advice was to leave

[figureitout23]

I thought the same thing abit, thought I was having deja vu

[Hollyj]

All of this is so inappropriate. She also talks to him about your problems. Yikes.

 

She will go back to him. She is Still in love with him. You need to end this. Fast! She is playing you for a fool!

[melancholy123]

What Hollyj said. She's still in love with this guy. You are getting the short end of the stick and that wont change.

[MissCanuck]

I thought the same thing abit, thought I was having deja vu

 

Same here. The story is strikingly familiar, as is the username.

[pippy longstocking]

I also thought this was very familiar .....* waits for the gaffer to close the thread

[Wiseman2]

Um...this is not co-parenting:

She had sex with her baby father within that week.

[DanZee]

Since we been having alot of arguments ...

 

Why do you keep arguing about the same thing over and over again? You either accept the arrangement or you don't. If you accept the arrangement, then stop creating a lot of drama and stop arguing. You're not going to make her do what you say. If you don't accept the arrangement, then leave. The more you argue, the more you drive her into his arms. Like when you broke up with her. Boom. She sleeps with the ex. If you want to keep seeing her at least don't give her reasons to go back to the baby daddy.

[Honeycomb8]

It's pretty f obvious she's sleeping with him. I mean how gullible so you have to be to believe otherwise? She is attached to him and you're being totally used. End things, you're being taken advantage of right now.

[Matt0050]

I probably talk to my ex once or twice a week via text, regarding our children and we have 4 together!!

 

Ours are 19, 17, 13 & 11. With all that's happening in their lives, we only need to chat for one or two minutes to cover everything.

 

What possible need do they have to discuss anything longer than a few minutes?? .... they have a baby.

 

I haven't chatted face to face with her for well over a year and there's no need to be sitting in a car together or discussing anything other than our children.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.