new girlfriend is spending a week with her long distance ex... what to do !

[ms90]

Hi,

 

I have recently started to date a girl from my local gym. Its been great with some great dates and some quality time together. She informed me the other day that her ex from america had booked a flight to come see her and that she was scared and nervous but couldnt cancel it since were now seeing eachother as he paid alot to visit the uk. I dont feel very comfortable but dont want to be out of order myself. I otld her i wouldnt tell her what she can and cant do but that i wouldnt be around if she did decide to stay with him,... its friday now and here we are.. im sat on here and she is with him spending a week together at hers... am i wrong to walk away or shall i stick around? they are sharing a bed and all week also. She told me that he was horrible to her and that she didnt want to see him but he called early hours opf the morning due to time difference yesterday, waking us both up.. she told me to be quiet and answered all happy to hear from him.... i need some advice on what to do ! any advice would be great. thanks

[Wiseman2]

Yikes, cut your losses. Sorry she sprung this on you, how long have you been dating?

[ThatwasThen]

Her behaviour is inappropriate, disrespectful and quite frankly, shoddy to put it politely.

 

You would be a fool if you were to stay with her after that. She will sub-conciously disrespect you to the nth degree as well. No woman wants to be with a man that they can mistreat and walk all over.

 

How can you respect someone that doesn't have the self-respect to tell someone that mistreated them that they cannot stay with them (no matter how much they spent to get there).

 

Don't be her fool.

[Minikimini]

She is not done, emotionally, with her ex if he can draw her back in this easily.

 

Why would someone, who has broken up from someone who "was horrible to her and that she didnt want to see him", turn around and want to not only see him, but let him post up at her place, in her bed with her for a week? And how does she think you should be cool with this?

 

Yeah... put that number on block. The man she wants to be with is in her bed with her.

[boltnrun]

You will get an apologetic text from her explaining that she and the "ex" are going to try again.

 

Don't be around to receive that text.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'll bet that she never told him about you. Either way, the writing is on the wall, therefore it's time to gather your self-respect and walk away.

[thorough]

Tell her goodbye, no one goes out w/their ex after they are done and starting to date another person. Tell her that she obviously not over her ex and that you want someone that doesn't carry that type of baggage.

[abitbroken]

Nope. If he paid so much to visit the UK -- their breakup is too fresh, she is lying to you and they really are still together, or they want to get back together. Because if he paid for a trip and they are no longer together he can still come and be a tourist in the UK -- without seeing her. He just would have to pay for a hotel. Or he would change his flight dates and destination. She is feeding you a line of crap. Stop seeing her right now. She is either a liar or she is stilll hung up on her ex or she has very terribly boundaries and does what anyone says or all of the above. Don't do this to yourself.

[katangel]

Two word leave her

[MissCanuck]

I hate to tell you this, but he is her boyfriend. You were the unwitting side piece.

 

Forget about this girl. She is attached to him and you are going to get your heart broken.

[yatsue]

I literally went "Huh?!" after reading the title, and then gasped after seeing they are sleeping in the same bed together. Dating or as an official couple, that's a huge no no for any taken person. There is no way you are out of line here. She is way out of line.

 

"i wouldnt be around if she did decide to stay with him" Please make do on this promise you told her. It is likely she expects you two to already be over with that statement, proceeding with her current actions, and is/will be intimately inappropriate with him.

 

You are clearly a rebound she has no respect for. Seriously, this doesn't even warrant any follow up; it is done and you don't need to communicate with her ever again.

[LC8328]

Same bed together?! Told you to be quiet before she answered the phone?!

 

NO. Toss out all her stuff. Block her. You can do much, much better.

 

Sorry this happened to you.

[Hollyj]

End it. Sharing a bed with him. HUH!

[jenjohn88]

No. Just No. And I am somebody who likes to look at every angle of things and judge it from there. She is nervous about her ex to come visit and spend a week at her place? Bro, just no. I know you guys are newly dating, but that is so disrespectful.

[jenjohn88]

omg I didn't even see the bit about her telling you to be quiet! HELL NO. Break up with her. It doesn't matter if they get back together or not, she is a user.