She wanted to see others

[Bungaro]

Hello guys! I know I had a question about my ex before but I really can't understand her whole point of view. She said after 2,5 years ( I am her first everything except kiss) that she wants to date others, can't live her life only dating one guy while she really loved me. I would say sometimes she was head over heels. ( we had minor problems but she always said that it is not because of me and it was marvelous with me but it is the right decision). Could you help me what could go in her head? And do I have a chance if I change myself to the better myself? I really love her, and I hope we could be together in the future but she said last time she doesn't know, maybe but she made a good decision and it tells a lot.

[Giblesp]

When a woman says something like this, you must end it with her. She must leave your life.

 

The good news is that you can get the woman that you deserve if you change yourself for the better.

[Bungaro]

Two of my girlfriends are going through this. (only the two girlfriend friends I have ) one of them says that She never will be with this guy anymore and fed up with him but couldn't break up with him because she loves him, the other says that she wants to really experiment other dates and stuff and after 1-2years she wants to get back together because she really loved him. I can't believe only my ex has lost her feelings so fast and could never see me as a future opporunity.

[Keyman]

that she wants to date others

 

Let me put this simply. She does not want to date you anymore.

 

The fact that you love her and want to be with her means nothing. SHE wants to date other people. Other people, who are not you.

[Bungaro]

I see but how come? I mean it came out of blue

[MissCanuck]

This happened because she hasn’t had any other dating experience, and she’s curious.

 

It happened because the vast majority of us outgrow our first loves as we enter adulthood.

 

And sometimes it’s the above, combined with having met someone new that we’re curious about but know we can’t explore unless we end our previous relationships.

[Andrina]

The reason the term "first love" exists is because just about everyone has one, and the first is usually followed by many more, as people experience life and get to know who is right for them and who isn't. Sometimes young people enter into longterm, serious relationships, and then realize they are too young to settle down so early in life, and want to be single for a while, and maybe have short term relationships.

 

She has told you exactly how she feels. You will have to accept this and not hope for reconciliation in the future. It's the only way you will be able to mourn the relationship, heal, and move on. You're going to have to go no contact, as hard as that sounds, but it's for the best. Take this time to do things you've always wanted to do, and if there's nothing on that list, use your imagination and make a list. Maybe start a new hobby. Spend time with guy friends. If you've let a support system of friends slide and don't have hobbies, now's the time to reestablish those parts of your life. Take care.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you female friends are filling your head with their own nonsense, which you can't apply to your ex's state of mind. Why are you hanging around them so much?

Two of my girlfriends are going through this. I can't believe only my ex has lost her feelings so fast and could never see me as a future opporunity.

[Bungaro]

Well, I know them since I was a little kid, they are good friends of mine.

[smackie9]

It's all about brain development...as you go through your stages of life, your brain changes. Your thoughts on things, feelings, likes and dislikes all change. So what might be happening to her is biological. It's normal to desire change as the need to have different experiences pulls us in different directions. We are always evolving, wants and needs changing, maturing, growing. That's just life.

[jimthzz]

I see but how come? I mean it came out of blue

 

It did not come out of the blue. She just didn't share this information with you until recently.

 

I'm sorry she is not in the same place you are about your relationship. Actually, your relationship is over now. Do NOT be her Plan B.

 

Move on, lick your wounds, and get back in there--look for romance elsewhere.

[thealchemist]

I married my first love. It isn't very common for a reason. Rarely do people grow in ways similar enough to be together through that huge transitional time.

 

My wife and I never really worried about what we were missing by being together because we both can't imagine ever being lucky enough to find another like the one we have already found.

 

If she feels she needs to get more experiences then there was nothing to be done.

 

Move on and don't let her make you her plan B.

 

It is over. Learn from it and take that knowledge into your next relationahip.

[kleptoz28]

Hello guys! I know I had a question about my ex before but I really can't understand her whole point of view. She said after 2,5 years ( I am her first everything except kiss) that she wants to date others, can't live her life only dating one guy while she really loved me. I would say sometimes she was head over heels. ( we had minor problems but she always said that it is not because of me and it was marvelous with me but it is the right decision). Could you help me what could go in her head? And do I have a chance if I change myself to the better myself? I really love her, and I hope we could be together in the future but she said last time she doesn't know, maybe but she made a good decision and it tells a lot.

 

Sounds like she wants to have fun and experience dating around before settling down. I know that's hard to hear, but it's the hard truth you need to accept. She tells you she still loves you because she feels comfortable having you as a safety net if it doesn't work out. Do yourself a favor, make it clear to you and her that when it's over it's over and there's no going back. Don't hurt yourself by trying to wait for her, since she obviously has other priorities, and they aren't you.

[Capttrae]

It’s just life. I went through it with my first girlfriend in highschool. At that point in time I though we were going to be together forever. When she said she needed new experiences I thought she was crazy. I thought that I was grown and didn’t need other experiences. But after a few years of dating other ppl I realized she had done us both a favor

[11moreweeks]

I don't think people who have this mindset are worth dating. There's no point in being with someone unless you want to make it work. She doesn't want to make it work, so completely let her go. Even if she likes you, she has the wrong mindset for making a relationship work. She will let curiosity destroy anything you two might build together.

[No1]

OP, you are getting good advice. I know its not what you want to hear, but its what you should hear.

This is the best thing to happen to you. I know it doesnt look like it is, but this IS the best thing. You never know, you might find the girl who is right for you. Right now it seems impossible since you think you were meant to be with your X, but reality is that there could be a better girl out there for you and now you have room in your life and in your heart for her. You just have to have the heart and life open to that possibility.

I know it hurts, and I know you have tons of questions to ask and I think others here have answered them. This was out of the blue for you, but believe me, she had been thinking about it for some time. And probably have dropped hints about it. And she can also be confused so trying to figure out what she is thinking is like trying to find out where a blowing leaf is going to land.

So reality is, she is going to meet someone and date others. She is going to kiss them, and yes, have sex with them. Thats a fact you are going to have to face. If she realizes you are the man she wants, she will look for you. If you are not, she will end up with someone else. Since this process can take years, you cant sit and wait for her. So why not just admit that it is over, no fault on either part, no blame and you tell her mentally to enjoy her life and you begin to take baby steps forward.

I promise you, you are going to be just fine.