Boyfriend gave tons of hickeys while I was very intoxicated

[Katya133]

Yesterday, I hung out with my boyfriend that was only supposed to be for just a few hours and turned into a sleep-over. I got extremely wasted or something similar because I was numb, like I couldn't move or control my hands because my wrists felt numb? I don't know. I couldn't walk, for instance, I tried to walk to the bathroom and instantly fell over. My boyfriend had to literally pick me up and walk me to it. I also fell trying to get back to the futon, which for some reason, bf felt compelled to take pictures of this.

 

Anyways, he picked me up after I had fallen and hit my head on a door (it's what he said) and laid me down on the sofa/futon thing he has. He put blankets on me before leaving to talk to his friends on Teamspeak for a little bit. I must have fallen again because I remember him rushing out of the room for something. I blacked out after that.

 

The last bit I remembered was him putting on Home Videos or w/e the name of that show is - on Hulu and it used to air on Adult Swim. He turned the tv off and kept trying to kiss my neck, I vaguely remembered what happened after but I did push him away saying something along the lines of "please stop". I also remembered crying. Everything else is blurry.

 

Skip to today, clearly I must have gotten home because I woke up in my bed. My knees were really sore and my arms were in a lot of pain. I was getting ready to take a shower before heading off to work and took my clothes off, I saw purplish red marks on my neck and it trailed off down to my chest, my rib, on my hip, near my pelvis and all over my lower back. There's a slight bruise on my wrist, too.

 

So I'm really confused. Was I taken advantage of? He wasn't drunk at all. There was only the wine he got for me - I literally drank all of it, and the Coke we got from Dairy Queen. I barely remember anything else minus a few pieces of it. I'm definitely never getting that drunk ever again. I'm kind of scared because I don't know what else had happened, the feeling of the room spinning and my extremeties being numb were far too unsettling. My friend said this was abuse? But I'm not sure he abused me lol I don't think what he did constituted as abuse but I vaguely remembered much from what happened. What are your thoughts? I know that it's my fault for letting myself,get that way, but I honestly haven't gotten drunk like that before. I couldn't control myself at all and it was scary. Never ever going through that again. If it for some reason means anything, I'm 20 and he's 26. I'm a virgin, he isn't. Tomatoes tomatos.

[Wiseman2]

Go to an ER/doctor and get checked out. Did you injure your head? Were you drugged? Are they hickeys or bruises? What does your bf tell you?

I must have gotten home because I woke up in my bed. My knees were really sore and my arms were in a lot of pain. I was getting ready to take a shower before heading off to work and took my clothes off, I saw purplish red marks on my neck and it trailed off down to my chest, my rib, on my hip, near my pelvis and all over my lower back. There's a slight bruise on my wrist, too. I'm 20 and he's 26. I'm a virgin.

[SweetGirl28]

Oh my. Do you think he might have put something in your alcohol?

 

You can handle this two ways. The first being to go to the ER and they can do a rape kit test and blood toxicology

but that is very violating and embarrassing, not to mention that depending on where you reside, could involve

the authorities. The second, ask him if he had sex with you. Make him help you to remember what happened.

Why on earth did he photograph this????

 

Do you feel any different, or soreness in your vagina?

 

I won't chastise you for drinking, much less underage, but please do not ever engage in this behavior again.

To become blackout drunk is dangerous. You could have had alcohol poisoning, yet somehow you were taken

home and left to be alone in your own bed. You could have also choked on your own vomit had you fallen

asleep and been on your back. You could have died! He never should have left you alone.

 

You were responsible for what you drank, but I sincerely hope you were not taken advantage of.

Even if those are hickies, and he did not have sex with you, he violated you . Consider dumping him.

[Starlight925]

IMHO, you are making light of this, with all of your "lol's" and "tomatoes tomatos".

 

This was abuse, pure and simple.

 

I'm not here to accuse him of anything, but it sounds to me like he either put something in your drink, or the alcohol interacted with meds you are already taking. Regardless, he took advantage of you and caused you to be hurt, and then he furthered it by taking pics of you. I would, first of all, demand those pics be deleted. Next, get yourself to a doctor. And do not look at this lightly, or make excuses for him.

[Katya133]

Go to an ER/doctor and get checked out. Did you injure your head? Were you drugged? Are they hickeys or bruises? What does your bf tell you?

 

 

The top of my head is a little sore but nothing too serious, I think. My close female friend and my oldest sister is taking me to see a doctor tonight. I don't know if I was drugged, though... I saw him bring the glass out to me before getting the wine, he said he had to clean it - the glass, I mean. I don't think he'd drug me... I hope not. I pressed on the spots on my neck, chest and lower back they were hickeys. My wrist is definitely bruised though. It's painful to touch it.

[Seraphim]

You don't know that hitting your head wasn't too serious . You could have a concussion for all you know . Concussions are not always obvious and you don't need to be knocked unconscious to have one .

And yes what he did was abuse you asked him to stop and he continued therefore that is abuse . Young men need to learn that no means friggin no. It means you stop and you leave .

[thealchemist]

Sorry but that sounds like some other drug than alcohol.

 

Way to much fishy stuff going on here.

 

You obviously can't trust him if you are intoxicated. Not much of a decent person.

[Lambert]

i read this and i got very scared for you. i hope you go to the doctor and get checked out. your well being is most important.

 

secondly, I'd reevaluate your relationship. The fact that you could have been drugged is beyond red flag. that is not love. that it is a consideration says something. The fact that he left you alone to sleep it off is another beyond red flag. lastly the fact that he took videos or pics is another. i find his behavior gross and disgusting.

 

i think all of above are reasons to get away from this guy. seriously. !

[Mari]

i read this and i got very scared for you. i hope you go to the doctor and get checked out. your well being is most important.

 

secondly, I'd reevaluate your relationship. The fact that you could have been drugged is beyond red flag. that is not love. that it is a consideration says something. The fact that he left you alone to sleep it off is another beyond red flag. lastly the fact that he took videos or pics is another. i find his behavior gross and disgusting.

 

i think all of above are reasons to get away from this guy. seriously. !

 

Just a thought, are the marks on your body consistent with someone trying to prop you up to take you to your house? Bruises on your ribs or your hips sounds like someone trying to hold you by standing next to you. I'm not sure about the neck though.

 

I reread what you said, I think you should get checked out to see if you were taken advantage of. It doesn't make sense that you would get that drunk that fast unless you really did take a lot of hard drinks.

[SherrySher]

Alcohol wouldn't do this to you, it does sound like you were drugged and he took advantage while you were in that state. You need to get to the doctor asap and you need to get away from this guy.

It's not only abuse but it's extremely dangerous.

From now on, do not drink to excess and do not let anyone else handle your drinks, apart from a legit bartender.

Do not take this lightly, the outcome could have been far far worse and it might be next time. Please be far more careful and stay away from this guy, he is going to hurt you more than he already has if you don't.

[Katya133]

The bruise on my wrist doesn't look like I was struggling or anything. I think. I'm honestly really unsure about it, it hurts a lot. I'm thinking maybe he was trying to help me up and didn't realize he put so much pressure on my wrist when doing so. Maybe. I'm going to ask him about it when I get the chance.

 

The only thing I had was Sweet Walter Red wine and the alcohol content is 11%(?) Normally one bottle doesn't get me like that at all. I mean I've felt some form of dizziness but I haven't ever gone through blackouts, wrists being numb or having problems standing up. Like, I was literally falling wherever I tried to go. I needed assistance in getting around. I think that's what scared me the most; feeling paralyzed and not being able to move or feel my hands.

 

I wasn't taking shots or anything so I do agree it's kind of odd that I got the way that I did so quick. Thankfully tonight I'm getting checked out. :(

[Wiseman2]

Do not talk to him. Tell a trusted adult what happened. Go to a doctor. Here are symptoms of "date rape" drugs:

The effects of Rohypnol can be felt within 30 minutes of being drugged and can last for several hours. If you are drugged, you might look and act like someone who is drunk. You might have trouble standing. Your speech might be slurred. Or you might pass out. Rohypnol can cause these problems:

 

Muscle relaxation or loss of muscle control

Difficulty with motor movements

Drunk feeling

Problems talking

Nausea

Can't remember what happened while drugged

Loss of consciousness (black out)

Confusion

Problems seeing

Dizziness

Sleepiness

[Starlight925]

If you haven't already, take pictures of yourself from every angle. RIGHT NOW.

[ThatwasThen]

Op: How long have you been dating this guy? Do you know him well?

[Katya133]

Op: How long have you been dating this guy? Do you know him well?

 

 

 

Since October 10th last year. We met from a dating website and he's been super genuine about his feelings towards me. We've gone out a lot of times before actually going over each other's house or spending the night and stuff like that.

[Starlight925]

Since October 10th last year. We met from a dating website and he's been super genuine about his feelings towards me. We've gone out a lot of times before actually going over each other's house or spending the night and stuff like that.

 

So in a 3-month period he's gone from "super genuine" to abusive. You need to leave this relationship, now. I get that you're young, and a virgin, but this guy is bad news.

 

Even if he put nothing in your drink, and you pass out on your own, he took advantage of you while out, and physically harmed you.

 

I can't give you any clearer warnings than this.

[abitbroken]

I would see a doctor right away. You hit your head. You could not move your hands. Tell them all of that. Get your blood tested to see if you were drugged. if you were not drugged - your condition is alarming. There could be something neurological going on. If it is, then he needs to be prosecuted.

[abitbroken]

Also, do you live alone or with roommates/parents. is someone at home to tell you how you got there? I would tell the doctor this and then tell the police this. If he took you home you think he would have called to check on you or would have taken you to the hospital. Or you would have woken up at his place

[ThatwasThen]

Since October 10th last year. We met from a dating website and he's been super genuine about his feelings towards me. We've gone out a lot of times before actually going over each other's house or spending the night and stuff like that.

So you hardly know him at all, really.

 

Was there any blood or anything like that on the bed or in your underpants etc? You say you were a virgin and more times then not, when one's hyman has been broken, there is bleeding.

 

Have you talked to him and asked him how you got home? What, if anything has he said had happened during the evening?

 

I thought at first that you may have been drugged but it you drank a whole bottle of wine yourself then you could likely be drunk enough (I know when I was younger and drank a whole bottle myself I was blotto and needed help walking as well) to fall and get some of those bruises from falling and from being picked up etc. I'm hoping that he stopped kissing your neck when you told him to.

 

Was there any sign at all in your vagina/anus that he had sex with you or were your injuries restricted to marks on your body?

[Jibralta]

Yesterday, I hung out with my boyfriend that was only supposed to be for just a few hours and turned into a sleep-over. I got extremely wasted or something similar because I was numb, like I couldn't move or control my hands because my wrists felt numb? I don't know. I couldn't walk, for instance, I tried to walk to the bathroom and instantly fell over. My boyfriend had to literally pick me up and walk me to it. I also fell trying to get back to the futon, which for some reason, bf felt compelled to take pictures of this.

 

Anyways, he picked me up after I had fallen and hit my head on a door (it's what he said) and laid me down on the sofa/futon thing he has. He put blankets on me before leaving to talk to his friends on Teamspeak for a little bit. I must have fallen again because I remember him rushing out of the room for something. I blacked out after that.

 

I don't know much about you, but it seems unlikely that a bottle of wine would make you black out like this. It really sounds to me as if you were drugged.

[ThatwasThen]

Op: If you are slight in weight, it could happen. I drank a bottle of red wind in my 20's and I didn't even remember how I got home. (It can happen particularly if you didn't have anything to eat while you were drinking) I couldn't even look at red wine until at least 20 years later.

[Mari]

The bruise on my wrist doesn't look like I was struggling or anything. I think. I'm honestly really unsure about it, it hurts a lot. I'm thinking maybe he was trying to help me up and didn't realize he put so much pressure on my wrist when doing so. Maybe. I'm going to ask him about it when I get the chance.

 

The only thing I had was Sweet Walter Red wine and the alcohol content is 11%(?) Normally one bottle doesn't get me like that at all. I mean I've felt some form of dizziness but I haven't ever gone through blackouts, wrists being numb or having problems standing up. Like, I was literally falling wherever I tried to go. I needed assistance in getting around. I think that's what scared me the most; feeling paralyzed and not being able to move or feel my hands.

 

I wasn't taking shots or anything so I do agree it's kind of odd that I got the way that I did so quick. Thankfully tonight I'm getting checked out. :(

 

I think getting checked out is important before passing a verdict. Are you on any other medication that could cause a reaction with alcohol?

[melancholy123]

I think you were drugged as well as abused. You need to swear off drinking to excess and find yourself a new boyfriend.

[Jibralta]

If you are slight in weight, it could happen.

 

It's true. Also, if you didn't eat a lot that day, alcohol could affect you more.

 

But losing control of your hands, falling over, your boyfriend taking pictures of you in that state, him kissing you, you telling him to stop, you crying, etc., are all pointing towards you being drugged. It's worth at least getting checked out ASAP.

[ThatwasThen]

Yes.. Definitely get checked out (which I understand you are doing, OP). Let us know what your doctor says and let us know what your BF says about the whole thing. I'm surprised you didn't contact him as soon as you woke up? The curiosity alone would have gotten te best of me. Did he drive you home?