LazyDaisy Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I did not take him back and im not going to. I am listening to all your responses and i am going to do what is best for my son and for me. Im going to start trying to build more friendships and get involved in other things like volunteering. Im going to start taking some trips with my son. He keeps sending messages and I haven’t responded. I’m going to tell him today that its over for good. Im going to keep seeing the new guy but keep it at a nice slow pace. Link to comment
MeiLa Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I did not take him back and im not going to. I am listening to all your responses and i am going to do what is best for my son and for me. Im going to start trying to build more friendships and get involved in other things like volunteering. Im going to start taking some trips with my son. He keeps sending messages and I haven’t responded. I’m going to tell him today that its over for good. Im going to keep seeing the new guy but keep it at a nice slow pace. Great. Step in the right direction. You deserve better. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I told him that I didn’t want to get back together. He got a little hysterical- texting and calling. But he stopped. He said I’m killing him. I didn’t give in. I feel bad, and very sad and scared and like someone died. Going to spend a nice quiet evening with my son watching movies. Maybe tomorrow i will go out to dinner with just me and my son. Haven’t done that since he was little. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Now will you block him? Or is it just too enjoyable and satisfying to your ego that he keeps messaging you? Tell him one final "no", then block him for good. Otherwise next time you're feeling "alone" or you start thinking life would be so much less terrifying with him in it, you might fall for his manipulative lies. Link to comment
MeiLa Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Now will you block him? Or is it just too enjoyable and satisfying to your ego that he keeps messaging you? Tell him one final "no", then block him for good. Otherwise next time you're feeling "alone" or you start thinking life would be so much less terrifying with him in it, you might fall for his manipulative lies. I have to agree. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I cant block him. We need to communicate regarding out boat. He is going to let me know when he has the money to buy me out and then i have to sign the title. I’m never going back. I promise. I feel very alone and scared today but I didn’t give in and I won’t give in to him in the future either. I know i want someone different and im going to hold out for the right person. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I told him that I didn’t want to get back together. He got a little hysterical- texting and calling. But he stopped. He said I’m killing him. I didn’t give in. I feel bad, and very sad and scared and like someone died. Going to spend a nice quiet evening with my son watching movies. Maybe tomorrow i will go out to dinner with just me and my son. Haven’t done that since he was little. I go to dinner just my daughter and I, and it's a great feeling. Concentrate on him, let him be the guy in your life for now :) Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I cant block him. We need to communicate regarding out boat. He is going to let me know when he has the money to buy me out and then i have to sign the title. I’m never going back. I promise. I feel very alone and scared today but I didn’t give in and I won’t give in to him in the future either. I know i want someone different and im going to hold out for the right person. Oh man, of course you can block him! You can have him communicate via written letter about the gosh-darned boat. I seriously think you like his begging. It makes you feel like for once you have the upper hand instead of him. But you're walking on dangerous ground here by reading and listening to all his manipulative words. Well, I hope your dinner with your son is enjoyable. I bet he would have liked to do that more in all the years you were focused on that man. Your son is a gem, I hope you realize that and put the focus back on him. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I do realize my son is an angel. I know I haven’t been the best parent but i will make it up to him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I do realize my son is an angel. I know I haven’t been the best parent but i will make it up to him. I'm glad to hear that. He's probably been feeling a bit invisible while you've been putting your focus on trying to get that man to love you. But you have a golden opportunity here to make him realize HE is your number one, not that man. Oh, and leave your phone at home during dinner. If you refuse to block that man at least your son can have your full attention at dinner. Link to comment
MeiLa Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Oh man, of course you can block him! You can have him communicate via written letter about the gosh-darned boat. I seriously think you like his begging. It makes you feel like for once you have the upper hand instead of him. But you're walking on dangerous ground here by reading and listening to all his manipulative words. Well, I hope your dinner with your son is enjoyable. I bet he would have liked to do that more in all the years you were focused on that man. Your son is a gem, I hope you realize that and put the focus back on him. I really wish we would stop feeding into this lady’s drama as I believe she likes the attention. You don’t have to communicate with him about a boat. Hire a lawyer or let him communicate through a third party. You are both dysfunctional. Concentrate on your son. Link to comment
MeiLa Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 i'm glad to hear that. He's probably been feeling a bit invisible while you've been putting your focus on trying to get that man to love you. But you have a golden opportunity here to make him realize he is your number one, not that man. Oh, and leave your phone at home during dinner. If you refuse to block that man at least your son can have your full attention at dinner. great advice! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I can't believe you are going to jump from one guy to another. Why don't you focus on your health and child, not another man. Deal with your life independently. You should be taking at least a year off without men. You need to understand why you have been in this 11 year mess. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 I wasnt really looking to get into another relationship. It kind of just happened. I met up with a guy from highschool just to talk and we really hit it off. I don’t know if it will turn serious. What i do know is i have more fun with him then i ever had in my whole live. He makes me feel alive. Maybe it was meant to be in order to help me leave the other one. I dont know. What i do know is there is absolutely no way im going to hurt this guy. He knows the deal - i told him we have to go real slow. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I wasnt really looking to get into another relationship. It kind of just happened. I met up with a guy from highschool just to talk and we really hit it off. I don’t know if it will turn serious. What i do know is i have more fun with him then i ever had in my whole live. He makes me feel alive. Maybe it was meant to be in order to help me leave the other one. I dont know. What i do know is there is absolutely no way im going to hurt this guy. He knows the deal - i told him we have to go real slow. I am a firm believer in the fact that people cross our paths for a reason. Then, they become a reason, a season, or a lifetime. See this as a path forward, that he will travel with you, and hold no expectations(make it clear to him) instead of having a relationship, start a friendship. You are in no state of mind mentally nor emotionally to have anything but. Good luck :) Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 Also his parents and my parents are friendly. They have know each other for many years. So there is no way im going to do anything that would embarrass my parents. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 I am a firm believer in the fact that people cross our paths for a reason. Then, they become a reason, a season, or a lifetime. See this as a path forward, that he will travel with you, and hold no expectations(make it clear to him) instead of having a relationship, start a friendship. You are in no state of mind mentally nor emotionally to have anything but. Good luck :) Thank you. Yes there is a reason for this. And we are already friends so to speak. I have known him since 6th grade. We know all the same people and live 10 minutes apart. And of course he knows my ex. They played sports together. He comes from a really good family. They are well known in the town where i live. So the basis of a good friendship is there for sure. The first night we went out we ran into a bunch of people from highschool and had a blast. Made me feel so young. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 You are missing the point. You need to process the demise of your LTR, and you cannot do it, if you replace him with another. Learn to stand on your own. Focus on making FEMALE friends. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I agree, time for female friends to occupy your time. You can't put all your eggs in one basket. And how would your parents react to know how you have been treated? Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 Ok. Im trying to reconnect with some female friends. I made tentative plans for Saturday with one. My best friend of many years and i had a falling out 6 months ago. I just sent her a text asking her how shes been. She didnt respond. She might not. Its ok. I will keep trying. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 I agree, time for female friends to occupy your time. You can't put all your eggs in one basket. And how would your parents react to know how you have been treated? My parents are glad to see that we are broken up. They are old school and believe you should marry the person you are in love with. They did like him- he had his good moments. But they felt the relationship wasn’t completely healthy. I’ve been looking at all of our photos that we took over the last 11 years. Torturing myself. Trying to mourn and grieve and get some closure. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 My parents are glad to see that we are broken up. They are old school and believe you should marry the person you are in love with. They did like him- he had his good moments. But they felt the relationship wasn’t completely healthy. I’ve been looking at all of our photos that we took over the last 11 years. Torturing myself. Trying to mourn and grieve and get some closure. Then you're not embarrassing your parents by not being friends with him. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 No i was referring to the new guy. His parents and my parents are friendly. So i don’t want to hurt the guy already. I don’t want to act in a way that would embarress them. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 No i was referring to the new guy. His parents and my parents are friendly. So i don’t want to hurt the guy already. I don’t want to act in a way that would embarress them. Don't even worry about this. Your son is far more important. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Did your parents know your ex was married? I know you think life is "scary" without a man, but you have a golden opportunity to show your son that he is number one. Link to comment
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