Wiseman2 Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 It would be best to pay him his half if you want to keep it, not hope he just gives it to you. Unfortunately it sounds like there was chronic conflict and he simple walked out each time. Move your mindset to one of...now you are free good and riddance rather than "what he did to you or owes you"Maybe he will calm down and see that he owes me half and just give it to me. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 It would be best to pay him his half if you want to keep it, not hope he just gives it to you. Unfortunately it sounds like there was chronic conflict and he simple walked out each time. Move your mindset to one of...now you are free good and riddance rather than "what he did to you or owes you" I would like to just forget about it, but I am unemployed starting next week - and no unemployment. So the money would mean a lot to me. Why should he get to enjoy a boat that I paid half for, while I'm struggling to pay my bills? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 Ask him to buy you out. Send a certified letter to that effect.Why should he get to enjoy a boat that I paid half for, while I'm struggling to pay my bills? Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 Ask him to buy you out. Send a certified letter to that effect. Thanks, this is a good idea. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 If he's been your son's only father figure, then your son has learned how to treat women from him. He's learned to storm out and refuse to apologize when he doesn't get his way, and he's learned that women will do anything just to keep a man. And he's learned that women will settle rather than be "alone". Are those the lessons you want your son to take into adulthood? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 Start there. As far as your son....is the father paying child support or having visits? Thanks, this is a good idea. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 I do receive child support. No visits. And no those are not the lessons I want my son to learn. I want him to be a good husband someday. Link to comment
wgmitch Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 LD, I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are at the right place on this forum. Folks are on here to listen and help. You should absolutely take time for yourself and try no contact with your ex-boyfriend. There is a great amount of certainty that he will contact you and then you will have a decision to make. Keep the cycle or break it. Please be strong if he contacts you, for yourself and your son. Take time to get some help from folks on here or elsewhere on the web to know what to do if he does contact you. Most of all do not sit around and wait or beat yourself up. Go out and shop, do things for yourself, spend time with family and friends, go to the gym and divulge yourself in your work. I am 53 and I know what you are going through. This is not easy at any age, but I assure you if you think positively and make sound decisions when the time comes you will be fine. Mitch Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I do receive child support. No visits. And no those are not the lessons I want my son to learn. I want him to be a good husband someday. Well, he isn't going to learn how to be a good husband from your ex. That I can guarantee. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 LD, I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are at the right place on this forum. Folks are on here to listen and help. You should absolutely take time for yourself and try no contact with your ex-boyfriend. There is a great amount of certainty that he will contact you and then you will have a decision to make. Keep the cycle or break it. Please be strong if he contacts you, for yourself and your son. Take time to get some help from folks on here or elsewhere on the web to know what to do if he does contact you. Most of all do not sit around and wait or beat yourself up. Go out and shop, do things for yourself, spend time with family and friends, go to the gym and divulge yourself in your work. I am 53 and I know what you are going through. This is not easy at any age, but I assure you if you think positively and make sound decisions when the time comes you will be fine. Mitch Thank you Mitch. I will try to be strong and try to take care if myself. I’m bi polar and tend to have really low times. Im on a good medication. I just have to keep busy and stay out of bed Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 He left my keys in my mailbox. I text him to let him know i got the keys but im still waiting on a check. He text back to stop harassing him and that I have been warned. How do you love someone for 11 years and then get so mad at them that they arent even allowed to contact you anymore. How do people go from love to hate so quickly? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 It was simple there was probably no love on his side for quite a while. Have a lawyer contact him about the boat. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Many hugs to your LazyDaisy, this site is amazing for support and you have to take care of you and your son :) Stay strong and you got this!!!! He is trying to make me hate myself. I don’t know why someone would do this to a person they spent 11 years with. I am already at a low point with having no job. Is he trying to push me to suicide? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 He is trying to make me hate myself. I don’t know why someone would do this to a person they spent 11 years with. I am already at a low point with having no job. Is he trying to push me to suicide? No. He is not trying to do that. He just doesn’t want to be together anymore . He can’t be responsible for your state of depression . That was an issue for you for a long long time. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 I understand not wanting to be together anymore. But why the threats? Why cant he talk to me rationally? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I understand not wanting to be together anymore. But why the threats? Why cant he talk to me rationally? He simply doesn’t want to. Don’t wonder about why. He is acting like a child. Just get a lawyer. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Do not continue any contact with him. You don't want a restraining order filed against you. He text back to stop harassing him and that I have been warned. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Yes. He is acting like a child. Im so better off without him. Im not going to think about him anymore. He doesn’t deserve any space in my mind or in my heart. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I'm sorry your break up is making you sad. You wrote that being 50 and stating over is difficult for you. Well, I can tell you that on the other side of 50 there is a lot of living to do! And you can make it a positive experience. I dumped a terrible person after 32 years of marriage when I was in my mid-50s. I jump-started my life, moved to a new town, reconnected with old friends and family. And, the cherry on the cake? I found a woman who loves me and doesn't cheat. We've been together almost 5 years now. I'll be 60 this summer. Because one is comfortable staying in the stewpot is no reason to stay. Eventually, the soup begins to boil and you're consumed. Better to move on! Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Thank you. I know that things will get easier and that i will love again someday. Its just so painful right now. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Exactly, my mom found love again at 47 after a relationship of living hell with my dad on and off for decades. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 The thing was- it wasnt the worst relationship. We had a lot of good times together. I think that is why its so hard to get over. I will miss the good times. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 He is trying to make me hate myself. I don’t know why someone would do this to a person they spent 11 years with. I am already at a low point with having no job. Is he trying to push me to suicide? He checked out on you and the relationship. You now have to be solely responsible for yourself. No, he isn't trying to push you to suicide. He wants to be left alone. You need to treat your depression, get a tight support system and begin to accept this. I know it's easier said than done, but now isn't the time for you to let yourself fall to pieces. There's life and love beyond this. Does it suck? Absolutely. Can you change his mind? Absolutely not. Can you gain control over your own life and happiness? Yes. You are in control of your feelings. If you feel he makes you hate yourself, you won't recover well from this. Do not ever place the value of your own self worth based upon how another views you. Make a list of all your good qualities, and hang it where you can see it everyday. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Yeah, just remember the "good times" included him refusing to divorce his wife because of money, him storming out every time you did something he didn't like, and you having to always pay because he didn't want to spend any money on you. Oh, and of course you had to check yourself all the time because you knew he'd storm out if he decided he didn't like something. So, good times happened as long as you followed his rules. Doesn't sound like "good times" to me. Yes, contact an attorney. You will have to have all correspondence go through the attorney. Make sure you have all the paperwork in order to present in court. Trust me, life will be much more peaceful without this guy in it. Link to comment
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