I'm 49 and I just got dumped

[boltnrun]

I feel like i want to die. I feel like telling him its over. Just to regain my composure here. I’m having panic attacks all day. I hate this feeling of impending doom. I just know he is going to end it. Ill be alone forever.

 

Again, this attitude is why you very much need professional help.

 

Here you are, falling apart over a guy you dated something like 3 times.

 

And there's your son, once again watching you lose it over a man.

 

You insist there's nothing unhealthy about your attitude. You honestly can't see that something's wrong with your mindset?

[Seraphim]

Are you taking your meds???

[LazyDaisy]

Are you taking your meds???

 

I skipped my meds last night because i stayed out all night. I slept over new guys house. But thats just one dose.

[LazyDaisy]

Again, this attitude is why you very much need professional help.

 

Here you are, falling apart over a guy you dated something like 3 times.

 

And there's your son, once again watching you lose it over a man.

 

You insist there's nothing unhealthy about your attitude. You honestly can't see that something's wrong with your mindset?

 

Yes. i see that I have a problem. Im going to get some help. I just don’t know how to deal with being dumped again. i know its forthcoming.

[boltnrun]

Why do you think you're going to be "dumped" if you slept over at his place last night? What happened in the past several hours that has you convinced he's going to "dump" you?

[LazyDaisy]

Ok boltnrun. He told me last night that it kind of disappoints him that i never text him first. He said he always checks his phone looking for texts from me. So I said. Ok. I will start texting you first sometimes.

So this morning a few hours after I got home I sent him a text message, saying really nice things about how I feel about him. His response many hours later was. Oh. Thank you.

What kind of response is that?

Haven’t heard anything since.

[boltnrun]

Maybe he meant more along the lines of "Good morning" or "Saw this and thought of you" regarding a song, TV program or something like that. Not a text pouring out your feelings.

 

Maybe he thinks it's a little soon to be telling him how you "feel", given that you've been dating for what, 18 days?

 

You're trying to have an "insta-relationship" when, no matter how long you've been acquainted with someone, a relationship requires time. More than 2 1/2 weeks. No matter how many times you talk on the phone, you need to develop a relationship. Not just decide "Hey, I need a man and here's a man. We need to be in a relationship right now and be married within a year". BTW, I sure hope you didn't share with him that you think you two will be married within a year.

 

Anyway, I don't see how "Oh. Thank you" means "I'm going to 'dump' you". That's a big leap.

 

Seems like you're so far up and down from one day to the next. That's not sustainable. Or healthy.

[LazyDaisy]

We have both been talking about getting married to eachother equally. He mentioned it first.

You’re right. We have been so attracted to eachother we both kind of thought we had everything we need for a relationship. But it takes a lot more than just physical attraction. The rest has to develop slowly over time. I believe it will. Im going to stop pouring out my feelings to him. Im going to hold back some snd hold my tongue and hopefully things will develop nicely. I just hope I haven’t scared him off already.

[LazyDaisy]

All I said was that it keeps getting better and better with him and that everyday that goes by he takes another piece of my heart.

 

He said Oh Thank you.

Then I said have a good rest of your day, I was going to get busy and get some stuff done. He said. ok, you too.

[boltnrun]

All I said was that it keeps getting better and better with him and that everyday that goes by he takes another piece of my heart.

 

He said Oh Thank you.

Then I said have a good rest of your day, I was going to get busy and get some stuff done. He said. ok, you too.

 

And that makes you feel like you want to die? That gave you panic attacks and a feeling of "impending doom"?

 

You don't think that's just a teeny tiny overreaction?

 

I mean, what is it you're looking for from him? An instant marriage proposal? Because you are really going overboard here.

 

Please, please do make that phone call tomorrow. I would say it's urgent.

[LazyDaisy]

Im calmer now. At my sons soccer game. After the game Im going out to dinner with my parents. Not going to worry about new guy anymore. I have faith that whatever is meant to be will be. If I scared him off, then I scared him off. I gotta be myself. If he doesn’t like myself I can’t force him.

[LazyDaisy]

And that makes you feel like you want to die? That gave you panic attacks and a feeling of "impending doom"?

 

You don't think that's just a teeny tiny overreaction?

 

I mean, what is it you're looking for from him? An instant marriage proposal? Because you are really going overboard here.

 

Please, please do make that phone call tomorrow. I would say it's urgent.

 

Well only because he has been coming on soooo strong. I feel a little cooling off. Which I suppose is normal.

 

No I don’t want a marriage proposal. I just don’t want to be dumped yet. I like him. I want it to last for a while.

 

Yes. Hopefully I can get in to see someone soon.

[LazyDaisy]

Its kind of occurred to me that he might be feeling scared too. Thats why he’s maybe cooling off. He was going to hang with the guys watching football today.

 

Friday night I was tired and just stayed in. I asked him if he was going out and his response was “nah, not without you”.

He told me last night that he was a little surprised at himself for that.

[abitbroken]

You are already talking marriage and your first date was new year's eve?

 

You didn't take your meds because you slept over. That's extremely irresponsible. I have a medication i depend on (its not for brain function, its for something else medical) and if there is even a vague hint that i might not be home to take it - i carry it in my purse. If i go out late with my cousin and the weather is bad - i put it in my purse so i can crash at their house if the roads are bad. If i don't have it - i go home no matter how late because if i skip it, it is not good.

[LazyDaisy]

Missing one dose is not a big deal.

Yes our 1st date was NYE. I have seen him 4 or 5 times since then. We text constantly (until today) and talk on the phone.

Obviously I slept with him already. At least 4 times.

He told me he loved me in a text a few days ago and so I said it back. He said it in person last night. But we were fooling around. Doesn’t count.

Yes, moving at warp speed.

[LazyDaisy]

I haven’t heard from him in 6 hours which is unusual. I just want to drink until I’m numb. I want to escape life until I feel better. Im afraid I’m going to turn into an alcoholic because Im such a nervous wreck all the time. I hate heartache pain. Its the absolute worst.

[LazyDaisy]

I am not at all stable. Thinking about calling the ex, thinking about taking a handful of drugs, thinking what can I possibly due to feel better, to feel at peace. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m too insecure. I ‘m a mess. I’m crying over him. The pain of not knowing, the pain of waiting to be dumped is too much to bear.

[Seraphim]

Go to the hospital and get yourself together. Your son needs a strong mother.

[Capricorn3]

How does one go from ..."I’d be willing to bet that him and I have a long, healthy future together. I think we will be married in a year." .... to ...."I feel him pulling away"..... to wanting to kill yourself all within a few hours?? :suspicion:

[SweetGirl28]

You are seriously at the point where you need an inpatient psych evaluation.

Help yourself, if not for you, for your son. Bring him to his grandparents to be cared for while you

work on getting yourself together.

[SweetGirl28]

How does one go from ..."I’d be willing to bet that him and I have a long, healthy future together. I think we will be married in a year." .... to ...."I feel him pulling away"..... to wanting to kill yourself all within a few hours?? :suspicion:

 

Bipolar mania to now bipolar depression. Poorly managed , or she doesn't take her meds.

This is serious now. Fearing for her son. Hoping this is all not true and just a ploy for attention here.

[Capricorn3]

Bipolar mania to now bipolar depression. Poorly managed , or she doesn't take her meds.

This is serious now. Fearing for her son. Hoping this is all not true and just a ploy for attention here.

 

I didn't know she was Bi-Polar (haven't read all her threads/posts). If she does have medication and not taking it, that's very irresponsible, considering she has a child.

I fear for her child too.

 

OP, get yourself to a doctor or hospital. This is now out of control.

[LazyDaisy]

I missed one dose. Wow. Not sure if that was the cause.

I took something for the anxiety and passed out cold. I just woke up.

Definitely calling the dr and a therapist in the am.

I go through these feelings whenever I date someone. In the beginning stages my insecurities cause so much anxiety. I usually end up driving the guy away.

 

New guy did text me while I was sleeping . I have to write back. Not sure how I’m going to handle this yet.

[Seraphim]

I can't participate in this due to my own demons but I wish you and your son well. I would plead with you to consider your son in all this. Please.

 

Take care Daisy

[Morello]

Sometimes the best thing we do to ourselves is recognise we're going through a bad time and need help. Some of your ealier posts didn't seem to recognise that.

 

Just be humble and accept that you're going through a rough time. It will take some time but you'll get back on your feet. But before that, there's work to be done! Not ony in terms of seeing a professional, but also admitting that there's a problem there. First steps come first!