I'm 49 and I just got dumped

[boltnrun]

If you are truly suicidal, please call someone for help.

 

Is your son with your parents?

[LazyDaisy]

Hes home. Im not suicidal. I feel like it. But I would never. I would never do that to my son.

[SweetGirl28]

I missed one dose. Wow. Not sure if that was the cause.

I took something for the anxiety and passed out cold. I just woke up.

Definitely calling the dr and a therapist in the am.

I go through these feelings whenever I date someone. In the beginning stages my insecurities cause so much anxiety. I usually end up driving the guy away.

 

One missed dose would not cause your mania slipping to depression.

You are in need of treatment. I've seen you go from racing thoughts of extreme happiness

to suicidal way to quickly. If this is true, you need to be proactive and get the proper help.

A therapist will not be the answer if you've slipped this quickly. Please consider inpatient treatment.

The first phone call you make needs to be to your DR or go to your local ER.

 

Does no one notice this around you? What did you take for the anxiety that left you passed out cold?

[LazyDaisy]

I took a klonapin. But i never take those. So it knocked me out cold.

So while I was sleeping new guy text me. I didn’t answer because I was asleep. He sent another text later like he was a little upset with me for not answering.

This guy is as insecure and messed up as I am.

I’m calling in a little bit to get an appointment. I don’t think I need inpatient. I just need some meds to manage my anxiety.

No one around me notices. I keep it hidden pretty well.

[LazyDaisy]

Bipolar mania to now bipolar depression. Poorly managed , or she doesn't take her meds.

This is serious now. Fearing for her son. Hoping this is all not true and just a ploy for attention here.

 

I might need an increase or adjustment.

I missed one dose Saturday night but took it last night. I will make sure never to skip again.

Bi polar sucks. If you don’t have it you can’t understand. I have highs and lows like you wouldn’t believe. And I can go from one extreme to the other in a matter of hours. Thats why its so important for my life to be stable.

 

Dating someone new is so emotional. Everything is new and you don’t know how to read the other person yet. You don’t know their patterns or hot buttons. Very difficult to maneuver for someone with bi polar. Maybe thats one reason I was with the ex so long. It was predictable and comfortable and kept my bi polar somewhat in check.

 

Here I am no job to go to on a daily basis. New guy, lots of unknowns regarding the future. its very scary territory for a bi polar.

[LazyDaisy]

Going to see him in a little bit. I need to understand this guy because I feel like I’m being manipulated. Maybe he isn’t doing it on purpose, maybe he is just scatter brained. But I just want some answers.

[IAmFCA]

Going to see him in a little bit. I need to understand this guy because I feel like I’m being manipulated. Maybe he isn’t doing it on purpose, maybe he is just scatter brained. But I just want some answers.

 

Be careful. That may be anxiety creating a sense of urgency. These questions might be answered other ways, like staying neutral and seeing what happens over time.

 

A manipulator is unlikely to show his cards, but may choose his words carefully. Drilling down to the truth can be destructive to a straightforward person same as to a misleading one.

[LazyDaisy]

Ill be able to tell if he feeding me BS by looking at him when he speaks. I know the signs of a liar.

[SweetGirl28]

I might need an increase or adjustment.

I missed one dose Saturday night but took it last night. I will make sure never to skip again.

Bi polar sucks. If you don’t have it you can’t understand. I have highs and lows like you wouldn’t believe. And I can go from one extreme to the other in a matter of hours. Thats why its so important for my life to be stable.

 

Dating someone new is so emotional. Everything is new and you don’t know how to read the other person yet. You don’t know their patterns or hot buttons. Very difficult to maneuver for someone with bi polar. Maybe thats one reason I was with the ex so long. It was predictable and comfortable and kept my bi polar somewhat in check.

 

Here I am no job to go to on a daily basis. New guy, lots of unknowns regarding the future. its very scary territory for a bi polar.

 

I do understand, I'm a nurse, and that's why I'm showing concern here.

 

If you're honest in all of this, and this is real, not you just trolling here, then you need to be

proactive, for yourself, your son, family, all relationships you have. Dealing with mental illness

is hard on everyone involved, not just you. You didn't cause it, but you can take a better stance

to be properly managed.

 

Most off us like predictable and comfortable. Not just those with bipolar. We all benefit from

what is known to us. Why do you think we try to hang onto relationships that are broken?

[SweetGirl28]

Going to see him in a little bit. I need to understand this guy because I feel like I’m being manipulated. Maybe he isn’t doing it on purpose, maybe he is just scatter brained. But I just want some answers.

 

Why????? How is he manipulating you???

[LazyDaisy]

He wasn’t. We had a nice talk and cleared the air. He is so easy to discuss things with.

Called my doctor but she isn’t returning my call. I guess the office is closed today.

[LazyDaisy]

So i feel much better. I guess skipping a dose of medicine wasn’t a good idea.

Definitely going into therapy and not skipping my meds.

[boltnrun]

If you're in the US, yes, today is a holiday.

 

Please call tomorrow.

 

I assure you that it did not go unnoticed by your son and parents that you were having panic attacks and were feeling suicidal. No one hides these things as well as they think they do. So if you won't get help for your own good, please do so for your son.

 

Because, I guarantee soon (probably later today) you'll be back to thinking the world is ending because of something you imagined the man you're dating did or didn't do...and that is not good for you or for your son.

[LazyDaisy]

Im already feeling insecure again. If he isn’t right next to me or texting me I start to worry. It’s crazy. I know. That’s why I’m going to get therapy. I read into everything he says and does.

 

He even told me he is scared I’m going to hurt him. But in my mind it’s going to be the other way around.

 

My mother ran into my ex at the grocery store. He is going to bring the paperwork for the boat title and the check over to her house so we don’t have to see one another. So that is a relief.

 

My mom said he looked good. He has been going to the gym everyday to work out his stress. She said he was shaking like a leaf the whole time he was talking to her. I felt bad all day. I wish she hadn’t told me. I came close to texting him but I didn’t.

 

I’m trying to process so many emotions right now. Getting over him, trusting the new guy, worried about finances, all with my bi polar brain. I wish I didn’t have this disease sometimes. Although the disease is part of me, it’s who I am. It defines my personality and my actions.

 

As I write this I realize just how awesome and special I am. If new guy doesn’t or can’t or won’t see that, then I know someday there will be another. I have so much to offer someone. Its just hard to meet people. But I’m not going to fret over him anymore. If he leaves me it’s going to be his loss.

[IAmFCA]

I have struggled with the concept of trust for decades. Will suggest to you a different way of thinking about it.

 

Trust yourself first. Put something specific after that, such as I trust myself to take care of my physical health. I trust myself to take care of my emotional health. Etc.

 

Use the same technique when thinking of others. I trust him to tell me when he is disinterested. I trust him to tell me if he IS interested. Etc.

 

Blanket trust is not necessary, maybe not even responsible to give anyone. For example... I don't trust myself to drive a motorcycle safely, so I haven't learned how to do it as a preventative measure. I do trust myself to speak my interests, but haven't always.

 

I used to wonder about trusting others. Instead, I now trust myself to know what I want, know when I am not getting it, and bounce back when I run myself into a brick wall.

 

First and foremost, retain responsibility for yourself. Nobody else can be nor ought to be trusted with ensuring you are on your path.

[LazyDaisy]

Thank you. Thats helpful. I will trust that new guy will be honest and tell me when his is disinterested. It shouldn’t be to hard. He can just send it in a text. Until I get that text I am going to trust that all is good.

I have to spend more time on myself. I’ve been putting way too much thought into new guy. Going to spend the next few days at home. Working on me.

[LazyDaisy]

I got a therapist appointment for Thursday. I can’t wait. I need help badly.

[abitbroken]

I got a therapist appointment for Thursday. I can’t wait. I need help badly.

 

I am glad you recognize this. Can you understand now why we told you not to date?? Not to jump in with this guy.

You are in the obsession mode with this man already and the year is not even 3 weeks old yet.

And be honest with the therapist - tell them what is going on.

Don't take drugs you are not prescribed to take.

You may or may not need a higher dose -- but what is clear is that you need to start taking responsibiltiy for yourself - maybe even keep a journal so you can keep track of your impulsive decisions you make and perhaps you can notice a pattern and stop yourself before the next one. When you are self aware of what is going on - it helps your therapist and doctors and one day you will learn to think in your head "stop. don't do that"

[LazyDaisy]

Good idea. Im going to keep a journal.

New guy sent me a text today “I’m in love with you”

OMG. I’m over the moon.

[LazyDaisy]

The sexy banter is back. I don’t know where it was for a few days but it’s back.

[abitbroken]

Where was your son when you stayed over night with this guy? home alone at age 11?

 

Good idea. Im going to keep a journal.

New guy sent me a text today “I’m in love with you”

OMG. I’m over the moon.

 

RED FLAG. I can see how you ended up with a jerk for 11 years. As long as he said the right words, its okay if he was married or if he had fits. As long as he kept the communication going. So this guy who you just reconnected with "loves you". No man with good boundaries says that. He takes things slow and takes time to be vulnerable. It means nothing!

[LazyDaisy]

My son is almost 13. And no He was at my parents all night. I would never leave him alone all night!

[boltnrun]

This is what I mean about your actions affecting your son.

 

You're five minutes out of your breakup and you're already sending him to his grandparents so you can spend overnights with a different man.

 

I'm willing to bet he's feeling some kind of way about that and concealing it from you.

[LazyDaisy]

Where was your son when you stayed over night with this guy? home alone at age 11?

 

 

 

RED FLAG. I can see how you ended up with a jerk for 11 years. As long as he said the right words, its okay if he was married or if he had fits. As long as he kept the communication going. So this guy who you just reconnected with "loves you". No man with good boundaries says that. He takes things slow and takes time to be vulnerable. It means nothing!

 

I believe he thinks he is in love. Just like I think I’m in love. It happens that quick sometimes. I had another long term relationship from age 20-30 and I fell in love with him right away. Sometimes you just know when its right.

 

Yes real true love has to develop over time. I do know that. But I also think we are in the beginning stages and its going to work out.

 

We just booked a little trip together for a few days. I can’t wait to get away. And my son will be fine. I used to travel for work all the time.

 

Therapy tomorrow. I’ll see how that goes.

 

Not feeling manic any longer. Feel back to normal.

[LazyDaisy]

This is what I mean about your actions affecting your son.

 

You're five minutes out of your breakup and you're already sending him to his grandparents so you can spend overnights with a different man.

 

I'm willing to bet he's feeling some kind of way about that and concealing it from you.

 

He doesn’t mind. He sleeps there a lot. He loves my parents. He understands that its just me and him and sometimes I need help.

 

I had to get sitters less when I was with the ex because we always did everything the 3 of us. It’s going to take some time to get to that again.

 

Again- single parents are allowed to date. Its not a crime. And I won’t feel guilty about it. Its not every day. Its once or twice a week.

 

He doesn’t know i stay all night. He just knows i was out past his bedtime which is 10 pm.