Break up text

[mayflower165]

I texted a guy I’ve been dating although I had a great time with him, I am moving on because he’s been showing that he’s no longer interested in dating. He didn’t respond to me! I’m wondering if my text was the right move. We’ve been dating for four months and when we were together he was really caring and thoughtful. However I haven’t seen him in the past month. He lives in another state and the last two times I invited him out he had excuses as to why he could not see me and he did not offer to meet at a later time. I’m wondering if I pulled the right move by texting him that I was moving on and I’m wondering why he hasn’t replied, Help!

[SweetGirl28]

He's probably relieved you dumped him, and doesn't feel the need to reply.

Guys in general will do all they can to avoid discussion and conflict breaking up.

Let it go. It's obviously no loss to you. If he cared, he would have replied.

[smackie9]

How else could you have ended it if he never wanted to see you and stopped communicating with you? He hasn't replied because he got his wish....he wanted it to be over, and the jerk is a bloody coward. He did the slow fade. I'm sorry to say this but I think he has already moved on if you know what I mean.

[milly007]

Did you talk to him about these issues to try and make things work prior to sending the breakup text?

[DanZee]

It does sound like you've been dumped already. Sorry.

[Wiseman2]

It was fine to text a final text. He checked out weeks ago using the slow-fade technique of being busy, etc. Don't expect a reply since he ended it weeks ago...in his mind.

I haven’t seen him in the past month. He lives in another state and the last two times I invited him out he had excuses as to why he could not see me and he did not offer to meet at a later time.

[catfeeder]

If the goal was a response from him rather than to break up, then your message didn't really leave him with anything to say.

 

Don't use breakups to manipulate, because breakups for most people are final, and they speak for themselves.

[MissCanuck]

He was already gone anyway, by the sounds of it.

 

Your text didn't change the final outcome.

[Alex39]

You sent what you felt. And thats ok. If he really didn't want to lose you, he could have responded, but he didn't. Don't overthink it. You felt him pulling away, because most likely, he was. Don't doubt yourself.

 

Instead, I would focus on what kind of guy you are really looking for. Hopefully someone local. Someone who appreciates you and respects you enough to communicate if things aren't working out.

[mayflower165]

I didn’t, I feel like maybe I should have mentioned it before to him how I felt.

[Alex39]

Actions speak louder than words. His actions, regardless of what you have said, before you said anything, are that he doesn't seem to want to see you anymore. I don't think anything you said would have changed that at all. He seemed to pull away regardless. You deserve more than a guy who can't just break up and say something. Don't settle for a guy who is a ghoster. I have been there and I have been just like you. Stay strong, and look for someone else who respects you.

[reinventmyself]

I didn’t, I feel like maybe I should have mentioned it before to him how I felt.

Why exactly? Do you think it would have changed the outcome?

[milly007]

I didn’t, I feel like maybe I should have mentioned it before to him how I felt.

 

Were you hoping that once he received your message (out of the blue) he'd respond by asking you to reconsider and/or beg for you to stay?

 

Either way, it does sound like he was in the midst of checking out of the relationship, or that he'd already checked out.

 

The fact that he didn't respond at all is telling.

[lilyv]

I like the closure you attempted to instill. From the looks of things, he wanted you to break up with him by creating confusion and distance. Don't feel bad or guilty. You needed to move on and he needed to know your door is closed. There's nothing much we can say beyond this point. Texts shouldn't have been your choice of breakup communication but he seemed to have set it up for you not to be able to get thru any other way.

[katrina1980]

I didn’t, I feel like maybe I should have mentioned it before to him how I felt.

 

Why? What do you think that would have accomplished? Nothing.

 

He's either into you or he's not, he's not. His actions proved that.

 

No amount of "talking about how you feel" is going to change that.

 

Stop second guessing yourself! We all do it, so I get it but it serves no good purpose.

 

You're only doing it because he's essentially ghosted you and you're longing for him.

 

Longing is a very powerful emotion, but don't let it distort reality.

 

As others have said, if he were into you, he would not have faded, made excuses to not see you, and at the very least would have responded to your text.

 

Sorry. Best to block and delete. That way every time a text comes in, you won't be jumping like a puppy hoping it's him, which keeps you stuck and hinders your ability to move on.

[mayflower165]

Update: he responded. We talked things through, he said he really liked me and enjoys spending time with me and he understands why I feel how I feel. He’s said he’s just been busy, he’s not talking to any other girls. So now we’re back to our regular level of communication and I will be seeing him soon.