How does this happen?

[Jibralta]

You seem to have painted yourself into a corner with your belief that you know everything about women and men.

[katrina1980]

Women who choose douchebags who treat them like crap are low-quality losers.

 

If this is the type of woman you want, go for it!

 

No skin off my or anyone's else nose.

 

And most of PUA or what you read on those sites like Reddit is garbage.

 

Yes it will attract a certain type of woman, not a woman of high quality though, which may be why Careerchoice may be struggling to find one he connects and wants to settle with.

 

In the meantime, his PUA strategies work like a charm on the lower quality ones with poor self-esteem who are into games themselves, and casual sex.

 

Personally speaking, many of those tactics/manipulations don't "work" on me, I prefer honesty, integrity and strong character. I give that back in return.

 

That doesn't exclude multi-dating, it just means being honest about it and who you are, a straight-shooter. Also being bold, confident, having a strong backbone.

 

Sure some gaming, push/pull etc is to be expected on both sides, but most of what I read about PUA and/or on Reddit takes gaming to the extreme, way over the top and is BS imho! Flat out manipulation, from what I've read anyway. And I can see right through it.

 

To each his own though, if it works for Cc, more power to him.

[Careerchoice]

These are the rules that women put out there. The responses I see in subreddits on Reddit about sex, relationships, dating. “I’m just looking for a nice guy”. “I just want someone who treats me right.” “Respect me” Then I turn around and lose out to a girl who is very likely being treated poorly by a scum bag, hound who probably gets women at every rehab center he goes too. What’s the incentive to be nice? To treat any woman with respect? From where I’m sitting, the majority of choose the douchebag.

 

Ah, see here's where you're making an incorrect assumption that leads you to hate women. You think they are intentionally deceiving you. That's not correct. From my observation and experience, I have concluded that women are being honest that they want the characteristics you cited in a mate. They just don't understand that what makes them attracted to a guy is a completely different set of characteristics. And no it has nothing to do with drug use, or domestic abuse, or any of these other negative characteristics you cite. It's these other items you're ignoring related to charm. It has nothing to do with deception, just a misunderstanding of how they themselves operate.

 

It's not that women like bad guys; it's that these are characteristics that are often found in guys who are charming and get attraction from women. Like linked traits. You yourself could be a jerk to women all you want and it still wouldn't get you any women. You could learn how to attract women without being a jerk. I'm in the process of doing it right now.

 

I've been with 3 different women in the past two weeks. I have never been in jail, never done any drug besides drink alcohol (which I don't even enjoy), and treat women pretty damn well. I don't fit your stereotype. Think you've come to some incorrect conclusions? Explain how I can exist if you're conclusions are so correct.

[Honeycomb8]

These are the rules that women put out there. The responses I see in subreddits on Reddit about sex, relationships, dating. “I’m just looking for a nice guy”. “I just want someone who treats me right.” “Respect me” Then I turn around and lose out to a girl who is very likely being treated poorly by a scum bag, hound who probably gets women at every rehab center he goes too. What’s the incentive to be nice? To treat any woman with respect? From where I’m sitting, the majority of choose the douchebag.

 

You're not a nice guy though. You think just cos you act a certain way, that automatically entitles you to women and their bodies/heart.

Uh....That's actually delusional and sad. You don't know these people, the amount of judgement towards these strangers is huge. Wake up, don't you have a life to live? Inject some positivity. Your mindset is screwed up and toxic. It's no wonder you're having issues with women. No one wants a downer, who dwells on the 'supposed' injustices of the world.

[Careerchoice]

It doesn’t take a psych major to understand what is going on here. The guilt of losing her younger brother to drugs led to her own addiction of alcohol. While in rehab, she meets a guy similar to her brother. Younger, same drug issues, family experiences. She probably thinks if she can take care of this guy and “save” him, the guilt of losing her brother will go away and she can remain sober herself. So I understand how a bond can form in an environment like that.

 

How can you know what she probably thinks? You don't have the experience to draw any conclusion that carry any weight.

[katrina1980]

Careerchoice, I may have made some assumptions about you in my previous post, based on my knowledge of PUA.

 

You do appear like a pretty honest, "upfront" guy, a straight-shooter so if you wouldn't mind, would you describe some of the PUA strategies you use that have resulted in your success with women?

 

Maybe in being more specific, it may help the OP too, if that's possible.

[Honeycomb8]

How can you know what she probably thinks? You don't have the experience to draw any conclusion that carry any weight.

 

This guy has major issues... He doesn't even know these people and he's diagnosing their problems and coming up with scenarios in his head?

[Careerchoice]

And most of PUA or what you read on those sites like Reddit is garbage.

 

I understand the libelous statements by women against PUA. Women don't want to be manipulated, so instead of attacking the manipulative men who use PUA teachings to manipulate women into sex, they attack the material itself.

 

I study the material at length and it is very helpful. It is essentially male self help and I have derived tremendous value from it. As a practitioner of the teachings, it is certainly not garbage.

 

Yes it will attract a certain type of woman, not a woman of high quality though, which may be why Careerchoice may be struggling to find one he connects and wants to settle with.

 

How would you know the type of women I attract? lol. I'm sure most of you on this board would find the women I attract to be quite terrific. Just because I'm not willing to jump at the first girl that shows any interest in me is no reflection on the women I'm attracting. I'm looking for something quite specific and I'm sure I will find it in the near future.

 

In the meantime, his PUA strategies work like a charm on the lower quality ones with poor self-esteem who are into games themselves, and casual sex.

 

On the contrary, I screen for girls who don't play games and are looking for a relationship (which I believe all women are anyway). Your categorization of the women I attract is just incorrect.

 

Personally speaking, many of those tactics/manipulations don't "work" on me, I prefer honesty, integrity and strong character. I give that back in return.

 

These characteristics are not inconsistent with what I have learned from PUA.

 

That doesn't exclude multi-dating, it just means being honest about it and who you are, a straight-shooter.

 

That's me.

 

Sure some gaming, push/pull etc is to be expected on both sides, but most of what I read about PUA and/or on Reddit takes gaming to the extreme, way over the top and is BS imho! Flat out manipulation, from what I've read anyway. And I can see right through it.

 

Then you are not an expert on PUA.

 

To each his own though, if it works for Cc, more power to him.

 

It does work. I'm a good guy, I'm having more success with higher quality women, and I'm still improving. All thanks to PUA. More power to me indeed.

[DavePort80]

These aren’t strangers. I know enough about them based on social media. I know the girl much better, her family, how she grew up.

[Careerchoice]

Careerchoice, I may have made some assumptions about you in my previous post, based on my knowledge of PUA.

 

You do appear like a pretty honest, "upfront" guy, a straight-shooter so if you wouldn't mind, would you describe some of the PUA strategies you use that have resulted in your success with women?

 

Maybe in being more specific, it may help the OP too, if that's possible.

 

Wow that's a pretty broad question. Maybe an example will do.

 

Here's one I learned from a long time ago. Early 2006. There was this myth that you should always wait a day after getting a girl's number to call a girl so you don't seem needy. I believe this was born out of that movie "Swingers" I believe. I never saw it, so I don't know. I read a post from TylerDurden/Owen Cook where he said forget that rule, call a girl when you want. He would call a girl the very next day. Heck, he would get a girl's number at a bar and call her on the ride home. It definitely opened my eyes to not "play games" as one perpetuated by mainstream media. I got tremendous value out of that post.

 

Is that really so nefarious?

 

Videos on how to flirt, showing how to begin conversations with complete strangers as they're walking on the sidewalk or sitting at the park, how to handle it when another guy tries to interrupt when you're talking one-on-one with a girl. So many lessons.

[boltnrun]

These aren’t strangers. I know enough about them based on social media. I know the girl much better, her family, how she grew up.

 

You know her family personally?

 

You rely on what's posted on social media for your information about this "girl"?

 

And you didn't "lose out" to this other guy. It's not like you dated her and she dumped you for him. From what I read, you never even went out on one date!

 

So the focus you're putting on this woman and her romantic life is a bit strange, to be honest.

 

Have you put that much focus on meeting a woman who you CAN date and who may want to be in a relationship with you?

[Careerchoice]

These aren’t strangers. I know enough about them based on social media. I know the girl much better, her family, how she grew up.

 

Feel free to ignore my posts OP. I know I don't coincide with this fantasy dating world you've created. However, it is not reality.

[katrina1980]

I don't get you.

 

First you say women want the douchebag who treats them like crap.

 

Then you say you "screen" for women who don't want that. You want a woman who doesn't play games and wants a RL, presumably with a good guy who treats her well.

 

Meanwhile the woman YOU are attracted to, obsessed with and want a RL with is involved with, according to you, a douchebag who treats her like crap!

 

Oh the irony. lol

[DavePort80]

You know her family personally?

 

You rely on what's posted on social media for your information about this "girl"?

 

We grew up in the same town, went to the same schools, but weren’t friends. Yes, I reply on Facebook and Instagram to see how she’s doing and get information about her life.

 

 

So the focus you're putting on this woman and her romantic life is a bit strange, to be honest.

 

Yes, it’s a little strange. I’ll admit.

 

Have you put that much focus on meeting a woman who you CAN date and who may want to be in a relationship with you?

 

Nobody approaches me in public so I’ve given up on relationships.

[katrina1980]

Wow that's a pretty broad question. Maybe an example will do.

 

Here's one I learned from a long time ago. Early 2006. There was this myth that you should always wait a day after getting a girl's number to call a girl so you don't seem needy. I believe this was born out of that movie "Swingers" I believe. I never saw it, so I don't know. I read a post from TylerDurden/Owen Cook where he said forget that rule, call a girl when you want. He would call a girl the very next day. Heck, he would get a girl's number at a bar and call her on the ride home. It definitely opened my eyes to not "play games" as one perpetuated by mainstream media. I got tremendous value out of that post.

 

Is that really so nefarious?

 

Videos on how to flirt, showing how to begin conversations with complete strangers as they're walking on the sidewalk or sitting at the park, how to handle it when another guy tries to interrupt when you're talking one-on-one with a girl. So many lessons.

 

That all sounds very legit and cool! I like it.

 

Perhaps I misjudged, but that's not what I read on those sites.

 

What I read sounds more like deceptive tactics and manipulation.

 

I've read Roosh V, Chase Amante and others.

[DavePort80]

Feel free to ignore my posts OP. I know I don't coincide with this fantasy dating world you've created. However, it is not reality.

 

I’m not ignoring you. And it’s not a fantasy dating world.

[Careerchoice]

That all sounds very legit and cool! I like it.

 

Perhaps I misjudged, but that's not what I read on those sites.

 

What I read sounds more like deceptive tactics and manipulation.

 

I've read Roosh V, Chase Amante and others.

 

I don't know those guys. I primarily lean on Real Social Dynamics. Plus one of their ex coaches Alex Social. and Todd Valentine. Great information.

[Careerchoice]

I’m not ignoring you. And it’s not a fantasy dating world.

 

If you're version is correct, how can I exist? Am I a liar?

[boltnrun]

We grew up in the same town, went to the same schools, but weren’t friends. Yes, I reply on Facebook and Instagram to see how she’s doing and get information about her life.

 

 

 

 

Yes, it’s a little strange. I’ll admit.

 

 

 

Nobody approaches me in public so I’ve given up on relationships.

 

So does your focus on this woman and her romantic and personal life give you some kind of purpose? Does perusing her social media make you feel "close" or "connected" to her somehow?

 

And yeah, if you're relying on women "approaching" you for dates you might not have the success you'd like. Men don't "approach" me, so I have to be more proactive.

[Careerchoice]

Nobody approaches me in public so I’ve given up on relationships.

 

That's not how it works. Men are evolutionarily designed to be the approachers. Either you do it, or won't get done.

[DavePort80]

So does your focus on this woman and her romantic and personal life give you some kind of purpose? Does perusing her social media make you feel "close" or "connected" to her somehow?

 

Yes. It makes me feel close to her.

[boltnrun]

Yes. It makes me feel close to her.

 

It also serves the purpose of "preventing" you from going out in the world and dating.

 

Do you feel like you don't want to try to connect with someone else because you feel like you are in love with or have romantic feelings for this woman?

[figureitout23]

Women who choose douchebags who treat them like crap are low-quality losers.

 

 

Wow... really? So all the women you give advice to on here who find themselves attached to aholes are in fact themselves 'low quality losers' ?

 

Call me crazy but I think it's much more grey than that...

[pippy longstocking]

not worth my time ...............................................................................................deleted

[katrina1980]

Wow... really? So all the women you give advice to on here who find themselves attached to aholes are in fact themselves 'low quality losers' ?

 

Call me crazy but I think it's much more grey than that...

 

First off I don't think you're crazy and agree many different nuances to consider.

 

Generally speaking though, I don't fault women for becoming attached to men who treat them like crap; I fault them for choosing to stay with them, big difference.

 

I realize calling them low quality losers was harsh and perhaps not even totally accurate, but let's face it, women who knowingly choose to remain in RLs with douchebags who treat them like garbage do have some serious self-esteem issues and lack of self-respect, imo.

 

A woman who respects herself would extricate herself from a man like that, despite having feelings for him and becoming attached. Because she knows she deserves better.

 

She treats men well and with respect and expects the same treatment in return.

 

When she doesn't get it, it's next no matter how intoxicating the chemistry or attached she feels.

 

And just to know, I used to be one of those "low quality loser" women myself. Had my share of bad boys who treated me very poorly and chose to stay anyway.

I have since learned and raised my standards, which is what I advise other women to do.

 

I don't know if my post offended you, but I apologize if it did. That is never my intention when I post.