How does this happen?

[figureitout23]

Well, some things do need to happen before another thing is possible. For example, I’m currently unemployed and living st home. I can’t support myself financially. That makes me a less than desirable romantic partner. So getting a job and being independent had to come first before relationships/marriage.

 

So, if you know that why aren't you taking that step? What's standing in your way? What does your therapist say about your current situation? Is he or she pushing you to get a job? I mean granted you don't have the skills to get a Fortune 500 career, but a high school education can get you something. Why not take that baby step and get a part time job at say a grocery store or maybe as a night shift stocker. That way your interactions with people are there but limited enough that you can just get your feet wet. I find it SUPER hard to believe your therapist hasn't suggested these things. I'm in counseling myself and I was pushed to do things to improve my situation from week 1. I have homework assignments to complete and I'm forced to make improvements. What are you doing in therapy because again I find it hard to believe you'd be getting no where after all this time.

[DavePort80]

So, if you know that why aren't you taking that step? What's standing in your way? What does your therapist say about your current situation? Is he or she pushing you to get a job? I mean granted you don't have the skills to get a Fortune 500 career, but a high school education can get you something. Why not take that baby step and get a part time job at say a grocery store or maybe as a night shift stocker. That way your interactions with people are there but limited enough that you can just get your feet wet. I find it SUPER hard to believe your therapist hasn't suggested these things. I'm in counseling myself and I was pushed to do things to improve my situation from week 1. I have homework assignments to complete and I'm forced to make improvements. What are you doing in therapy because again I find it hard to believe you'd be getting no where after all this time.

 

Yes, we’ve discussed jobs and what would be a good fit for me. I’ve made baby steps during my time in therapy. Getting a gym membership and going to the gym 2-3 times a week was a big move forward. It’s really the depression holding me back. A real lack of self esteem and confidence. I don’t have any mirrors in my bedroom or bathroom. I can’t stand to look at my reflection. When the depression hits, it’s easier to just pop a couple Ativan and relax on the couch. That’s where the obsessive behavior comes in with the internet. The social media stalking, etc.

[figureitout23]

Yes, we’ve discussed jobs and what would be a good fit for me. I’ve made baby steps during my time in therapy. Getting a gym membership and going to the gym 2-3 times a week was a big move forward. It’s really the depression holding me back. A real lack of self esteem and confidence. I don’t have any mirrors in my bedroom or bathroom. I can’t stand to look at my reflection. When the depression hits, it’s easier to just pop a couple Ativan and relax on the couch. That’s where the obsessive behavior comes in with the internet. The social media stalking, etc.

 

I mean every therapist is different but he or she didn't push you to take the next step past the gym membership? IF you are actually in therapy ( sorry you've lied quite a few times so I take what you say with a grain of salt) if you're in therapy, again I find it odd your therapist isn't addressing any of the stuff this board is addressing.the extreme lack of drive, the hopelessness, the obsessive internet stalking. Sounds like they're popping you full of drugs and sending you on your way, if that's the case you should get another therapist, in my humble opinion, you're running out of time and you're wasting it wallowing, again I get that every therapist is different but to say you're stuck would be an understatement.

 

Your parents must be well off, therapy isn't cheap on top of housing you and paying for your prescriptions and gym membership. They're ok with your complete lack of progress? My God even Dr. Phil would have made more progress with you.

 

Something is just not adding up here, I'm starting to think like others have said you're just getting off on the attention and you don't actually want help. The hamster wheel is starting to get old.

[DavePort80]

We talk about the gains I’ve made and appreciating those gains. The gym membership is one. Going to therapy every week and showing resilience to get better. What more do you want a therapist to do? I find it weird you get assigned homework. What do you do, fill out worksheets?

 

I don’t feel I’m stuck. It’s not the job of a therapist to push you. They are there to guide you. It’s all about going at whatever pace you feel comfortable.

 

And what do you mean I’m running out of time?

[figureitout23]

I had a long response, but I realized I was arguing with a brick wall.

 

Many therapists do give homework assignments, i.e. Activities to do outside of therapy; like you know, you joining a gym. Maybe I've approached therapy wrong, but it seems like a waste of money to allow a man who has little to no drive to accomplish anything to 'go at his pace' . You aren't even attempting to stop your destructive behavior and mindset. It's excuse after excuse after excuse, 28 pages and it's been a hampster wheel, what therapist is going to look at your actions and think,' let's let him lead.' It would be like allowing a hoarder to throw away one thing a month. You're treading water dude.

.

 

This is like trying to nail jello to a wall at this point.

 

Good luck, I'm out.

[Pleasedonot5]

Because an SSRI previously made me want to kill myself. It creeped up on me slowly with a potency that was scary. Stopping the medication provided instant relief. This has been true for more of my friends and acquaintances than I can count on one hand.

 

Another point - has OP's depression been cured with the SSRI he's currently on?

 

Save for a test of the brain that determines that one's brain cells are reuptaking seratonin at an adverse rate, and this is causing depression, I don't feel they should be prescribed as commonly as they are. I realize this is my personal opinion, and it may not be yours. That's okay - hopefully you see where I'm coming from now.

 

I would rather see OP solve the actual things that are wrong in his life to remove the negatives, and then add some things that are positive (like going to the gym as he has been) to make himself more content and fulfilled.

[DavePort80]

I believe the SSRIs are necessary, as is the anti-psychotic I’m on. I’ve got intense dissociation/derealization and the meds have helped immensely.

 

Figureitout33 doesn’t seem to have any experience or understanding of depression.

[Pleasedonot5]

I don't think that's fair to Figureitout23, and my post about kicking you while you are down wasn't directed at her. You would be wise to listen to her advice, as it tends to be among the best in this forum.

 

I'm glad you know/feel the meds are working for you. Also, it's good that you are going to the gym a couple of times a week. What else are you going to do to improve your situation?

[DavePort80]

Find a job, but it’s not easy.

[boltnrun]

This is the first time you've mentioned you struggle with psychosis.

 

That is a whole different situation, IMO. And this whole thing makes more sense in light of that new information.

 

Do the meds help? Could they assist you in finding and keeping a job?

[ballerinababe]

What specific medications are you taking? Quetiapine? risperidone? clonidine? lorazepam? Which SSRI? taking an SNRI too?

[DavePort80]

Zoloft, Latuda, and Ativan for anxiety when I need it. It’s been about two years. I believe I need it to function and be normal.

[Mermaid1121]

Love makes people do crazy things. Maybe she connected with him because the struggled with similar problems.