How does this happen?

[Coolstorybro]

There is a woman in my life, a co-worker. We’re friends, but not that close. This woman is amazing. Beautiful, kind, artistic, intelligent. We grew up in the same town. She comes from a great family, college educated. Nobody’s perfect, but she’s close. Obviously I’m attracted to her. Recently, she went into rehab for 30 days for drinking. While there, she met a guy. A drug addict with a long history of relapsing and arrests, and I believe he may even have a child. The two are now in a relationship, complete with Facebook couple photos and everything.

You're obsessed with an alcoholic.

[Coolstorybro]

Why don’t these things just happen to me naturally. Why am I the outlier? I’ve never been someone who gets approached by women or invited anywhere. I’ve got friends who are married now that met in high school. How come it’s so easy for other people?

They probably have something you don't.

[thealchemist]

Why don’t these things just happen to me naturally. Why am I the outlier? I’ve never been someone who gets approached by women or invited anywhere. I’ve got friends who are married now that met in high school. How come it’s so easy for other people?

Most people are like this. Most of us have had to work to be where we are. It is like you think all of us got where we are with no work. Many people in here have had to work a lot more than you would ever have to.

 

Lots of us have personality issues or trauma. It takes work to get past things in all of our lives.

[figureitout23]

Most people are like this. Most of us have had to work to be where we are. It is like you think all of us got where we are with no work. Many people in here have had to work a lot more than you would ever have to.

 

Lots of us have personality issues or trauma. It takes work to get past things in all of our lives.

 

Yep, lots of putting myself out there and going outside my comfort zone. I'm a woman so I'd be lying if I said I never get approached. It's much more common for men to do the approaching but that's not to say I've never done it because I have. For your average joes, which are the majority of people, we have to work towards our goals, they just don't happen. I've worked my ass off to get to where I'm at and I've got the scars to prove it and even through all that I'm STILL a work in progress. It doesn't just happen for most people.

[DavePort80]

You're obsessed with an alcoholic.

 

She’s obviously more than that. What’s your point?

[DavePort80]

They probably have something you don't.

 

 

Cool advice bro.

[boltnrun]

Who is supposed to invite you places? By your own admission you don't see or talk to anyone.

 

Didn't see an answer to this.

[DavePort80]

Who is supposed to invite you places? By your own admission you don't see or talk to anyone.

 

Yeah, I get that.

[thealchemist]

She’s obviously more than that. What’s your point?

If she is obviously more than that wouldn't that logic also hold over to her junkie boyfriend?

[Coolstorybro]

She’s obviously more than that. What’s your point?

Isn't it obvious? You're delusional. One moment you know her well and she's nearly perfect, next you don't know her all that well.

[Coolstorybro]

Cool advice bro.

Keep feeling sorry for yourself.

[DavePort80]

Isn't it obvious? You're delusional. One moment you know her well and she's nearly perfect, next you don't know her all that well.

 

I know a lot about her, her family, what her life is like.

[DavePort80]

If she is obviously more than that wouldn't that logic also hold over to her junkie boyfriend?

 

Not really. Going to rehab once for alcoholism doesn’t compare to years of relapses and arrests.

[thealchemist]

Not really. Going to rehab once for alcoholism doesn’t compare to years of relapses and arrests.

You don't know if she has only gone once or if she has a record. Just because she doesn't broadcast it on social media doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

 

Once again you are assuming that with social media you know every aspect of their lives.

[DavePort80]

Well I know a good amount. I have fake profiles that I use to get her to accept my friend requests, and I’ve contacted people she went to rehab with to get information.

[Coolstorybro]

Well I know a good amount. I have fake profiles that I use to get her to accept my friend requests, and I’ve contacted people she went to rehab with to get information.

Do you do that with everyone or just her?

[firelily]

Well I know a good amount. I have fake profiles that I use to get her to accept my friend requests, and I’ve contacted people she went to rehab with to get information.

 

Don't do that, man. By all means watch her instagram and FB for fun, but contacting people she knows should be out of line. She would feel awful if she knew all that. Don't do that again. If a person finds out, it's a really scary feeling, you would know if you were on the other side.

[DavePort80]

Do you do that with everyone or just her?

 

With everyone.

[boltnrun]

Well I know a good amount. I have fake profiles that I use to get her to accept my friend requests, and I’ve contacted people she went to rehab with to get information.

 

Do you disclose to your therapist the extreme lengths you go to in order to stalk this woman?

 

How long have you been electronically stalking her?

[DavePort80]

Don't do that, man. By all means watch her instagram and FB for fun, but contacting people she knows should be out of line. She would feel awful if she knew all that. Don't do that again. If a person finds out, it's a really scary feeling, you would know if you were on the other side.

 

She won’t find out. It’s harmless.

[DavePort80]

Do you disclose to your therapist the extreme lengths you go to in order to stalk this woman?

 

How long have you been electronically stalking her?

 

My therapist is aware that I have an unhealthy obsession with social media and spend a lot of time on it, but I haven’t gone into specifics.

 

I’m not stalking her.

[ThatwasThen]

Seems like this thread is feeding your "unhealthy obsession." Is anything you've read so far actually helping you or are you just getting a fix by the repeated replies? (serious question)

[boltnrun]

My therapist is aware that I have an unhealthy obsession with social media and spend a lot of time on it, but I haven’t gone into specifics.

 

I’m not stalking her.

 

Yes, you are.

 

You're making fake profiles to follow and get information about her. You are interrogating people who know her in order to get information. That IS electronically stalking.

 

How much time a week do you spend looking at her social media and questioning her friends?

[boltnrun]

Seems like this thread is feeding your "unhealthy obsession." Is anything you've read so far actually helping you or are you just getting a fix by the repeated replies? (serious question)

 

I'm pretty sure he's enjoying the attention.

[DavePort80]

Seems like this thread is feeding your "unhealthy obsession." Is anything you've read so far actually helping you or are you just getting a fix by the repeated replies? (serious question)

 

I’m very aware of my destructive behavior and how unhealthy it is. And how my poor choices have led me to the position I’m in of seeking connections over the internet instead of real life.