Dahl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Ooh, does she have a favored style, era? I'm mad about all things art deco, and I have found eleventy billion pieces from that period that I adore for dead reasonable prices. It doesn't have to be an antique or a brand name - you can frequently find elements of what she likes easily and legitimately replicated in affordable pieces. Online, resale shops.. Oh! I have a friend whose now husband proposed with the wax cast of the ring he was having made for her (and saving up for in the process; the jewelry store was smaller, not a chain, and they went all out to work with him) *and* after she accepted, they finished creating the ring together (as was his plan)! Link to comment
journeynow Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 j.man, I'm a smiling for you! As for advice, we were young, clueless, rebels, poor, etc, and simply decided to get married. (It was the 70's.) After that sunk in we asked each other "Rings? Should we do rings?" We didn't know, we aren't flashy or traditional, so we explored the idea together, settled on locally crafted matching gold rings, and I'm glad we did. There was something about the symbolism of them that was OUR symbolism, we decided together what they meant, and it wasn't' about showing anyone else. I'm not a fan of stones or settings that can get caught on things; I don't see how anyone can safely wear those and do any hard work. I've never been impressed with diamonds, or what they represent (to me) as far as mining and exploitation of peoples and money. ( I know, gold has that, too.) You know her best, but if you went with something simple you wouldn't be the first. My parents were of The Depression and WWII generation, and I was at the tail end of the Hippie movement (i.e. simple living/all things natural & homemade) so hearing stories of engagement rings of inexpensive and light-hearted sorts (from a gumball machine, ring-tab from a beer can, made from spare wire) was not unusual. What happens today, with the engagement "performances" (so public! and competitive) and crazy-expensive rings and weddings, just amazes me. Over consumption x 100. Just my 2 cents. (Pun! ;-) ) Link to comment
journeynow Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 How about a giant toy ring with a note tied to it that says "Shall we talk…?" ?? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 It's interesting though how many people here are suggesting basically that a ring is important, even if it's very inexpensive. Very ingrained this ring thing, eh? Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 It's interesting though how many people here are suggesting basically that a ring is important, even if it's very inexpensive. Very ingrained this ring thing, eh? Yip. I don't think many woman would be happy with no ring on engagement. Link to comment
journeynow Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Very ingrained this ring thing, eh? I think there is a hidden power to symbolism. It was unexpected to me, both the ring and vows (both done "our way" since we rejected a lot of tradition). Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 It's interesting though how many people here are suggesting basically that a ring is important, even if it's very inexpensive. Very ingrained this ring thing, eh? Yeah it's really something, isn't it? A 50 cent ring from one of those coin toy machines is better than no ring at all? I don't get it, sorry. I'd be so angry at my SO if he got me an e-ring. I hate what they represent and I've never wanted one. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I received a large flashy diamond engagement ring. Over the years I had it reset with more added to it and it was a show stopper. It spun around my hand and got in the way, but dam' it, I wore it. When my marriage fell apart I quickly began to see things differently. One might assume the bigger the ring the better the marriage? My marriage was a sham in the end. Wearing something that extravagant was almost ironic. (I sold it by the way) Today my values are different. If I ever got married again (eh hmm) it would be an intimate ceremony with just the two of us. Maybe close family too. A simple small band would be symbolic. But the whole thing from start to finish would be meaningful to the two of us and not something society conditioned us to believe we needed to do. All the fluff and circumstance means squat in the end if you don't put your money and efforts into what really matters. BUT having said that. .it's easy for me to say because I've had the other experience. I wouldn't deny your girl of it, if it's indeed important to her. Link to comment
journeynow Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Forget the ring and get her a lifetime supply of granola bars. I don't usually buy them, but lately I've been thinking I should stock up on granola bars. For emergencies or something. Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Ooh, ooh! Any chance you would be moving after the proposal? What if the ring is.. A keyring?! Hunh? Hunh? I don't know, I'm just giddy at this news! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Yip. I don't think many woman would be happy with no ring on engagement. ] Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 How about a giant toy ring with a note tied to it that says "Shall we talk…?" ?? Aww!! Whether or not this works for the present situation, I. Like. It! Follow up aww!! Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 It's just kind of sad to me that it's so steeped in tradition to the point that you can't drop it entirely, or at the notion of doing so is very unpalatable. Kind of a shame, really. Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I don't know that I agree that a woman would not be happy to be proposed to sans ring, BUT I cannot imagine any woman being UNhappy about being proposed to WITH a ring. So, if we employ better-safe-than-sorry parameters.. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I think you should focus on what she wants, not you! Thrilled for you!!! Link to comment
journeynow Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 It's just kind of sad to me that it's so steeped in tradition to the point that you can't drop it entirely, or at the notion of doing so is very unpalatable. Kind of a shame, really. Of course you can drop it. Depends on the people involved what meaning it holds. It's up to the couple, not the people they know or don't know. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I don't know that I agree that a woman would not be happy to be proposed to sans ring, BUT I cannot imagine any woman being UNhappy about being proposed to WITH a ring. So, if we employ better-safe-than-sorry parameters.. I think it's safer to errrr on the side of caution to be honest! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Jman knows his lady. I know my bf wouldn't feel conflicted and knows exactly how I'd react if he proposed with a rock. I'd be like "what's up with this? We talked about this, luv". Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Well ladies, if any of you are lucky to get engaged to me, you'd be getting a ring and not a granola bar Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Why don't you ask her mother or friends to inquire as to what she wants. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Of course you can drop it. Depends on the people involved what meaning it holds. It's up to the couple, not the people they know or don't know. Exactly - which is why I think he should try and figure out what she wants and go from there. And yeah, I would be unhappy if I were proposed to with a ring. I don't like what it represents. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I don't usually buy them, but lately I've been thinking I should stock up on granola bars. For emergencies or something. Make sure you hide them. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I was kind of in your shoes 20 plus years ago. I was thinking practically when I should have been thinking romantically. To you it is just a ring but to her it is a symbol of the love you share. I am not a big fan of a guy picking out the ring as there are to many pitfalls. How would you like it if someone picked out a tie for you that you had to wear the rest of your life and you had no say in it and couldn't complain? I wasn't made of money when WE picked out her ring but she didn't go overboard and picked out a really nice set that had room to grow. Years later I took her ring and had a much larger heart shaped stone placed in the middle which she loved. I say find a romantic way of asking like presenting her with an beautiful invitation to a jewelry store. A couple thousand for a ring is nothing compared to the amount of crap she has put up from you and still loves you more than the ever. No matter what you do I am extremely happy for you. Lost Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Exactly - which is why I think he should try and figure out what she wants and go from there. And yeah, I would be unhappy if I were proposed to with a ring. I don't like what it represents. Your off my engagement list of potentials! Link to comment
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