BigKK and his overthinking, here we go...

[BigKK]

I haven't really even seen my roommates in a week, I don't really mind. My weekend was fun...we had a heat wave though so everything revolved around staying cool. I studied for my exams, just finished one and about to go take one more.

On Friday night Miss K had her inspections, the house isn't too shabby minus them going completely cheap on electrical, so they're asking for $5k to pay for the necessary upgrades...30 amps for 2 units, kind of pathetic. We had a few beers...her more than I, and met up with some of her friends. It was actually really fun and I met the manager of a medical device company I'd like to eventually work at...really random, but we both hit it off and talked about all kinds of things. Upon saying bye he said whenever I'm ready with my degree to just give him a call. Who knows if it goes anywhere, but it was good networking practice.

 

Afterwards it was quite..."fun" I drove us home, but didn't make it home... we fooled around in the car, and then had to stop at a beach. I guess that's our thing? The rest of the weekend we went to the pool, beach, and watched football, and essentially everytime we were alone we'd get intimate with her initiating...must of been something in the water...

 

 

Otherwise she should be getting an appraisal this week, she is still a big stress ball about this whole ordeal. I want to take off from the city for a few days but don't have anything concrete in mind...it's one of those feelings though...that I need a little break from the same-old.

[BigKK]

It's going to hit 95F today, and my office has no A/C and in front of me there is a dyno with cars running most of the day... it's going to be miserable

 

I've wanted to upgrade this place, relocate the office, and get A/C in here... I need to come up with about $20k

[mhowe]

Sell the story of your dating life to a Hollywood screenwriter. It would make a great show!

[BigKK]

Sell the story of your dating life to a Hollywood screenwriter. It would make a great show!

 

 

Haha, my friends told me that 8 years ago mhowe! I dated a 31 year old girl when I was 21 and she was the Hollywood version of crazy. Irrational outbursts, jealous, controlling, tried to get me kicked off of the rowing team, made up lies about me, oh man, my friends felt for me and also laughed at my expense...it was the first time in my life I started locking my doors and was actually worried at night when I broke it off.

 

It might make good TV when I'm feeling wacky, but I feel pretty grounded right now and thus too boring for television. Give me a few days to stir something up in my mind. Did I mention I murdered my tests yesterday? It was a good feeling, was the first one to hand it in too.

[mhowe]

Nicely done! Great way to start the semester!

[BigKK]

Oh and another thing that made me absolutely livid last night...

 

I come home to my 92F room, and try to fire up the fan to get the air moving in there... The fan is gone...

 

Text my roommate about it, no response, no one is home, and her room is locked. She responds at 11:30pm with "sorry, I took it

 

Am I being over-sensitive or is that crossing some kind of unspoken roommate code of don't touch my sh** in my room? I'm going to have a talk with her...AGAIN, but I think this is just a good sign to take off.

 

My best friend is going to need a roommate soon, and I'm wondering if I just move in with him. We have opposite schedules so it might work, it'd be in the same area but he is a little bit more picky than I am. It'd also be $100 cheaper a month, we'll see.

 

 

Or I get ready to move in, in November into my home inland and find two roommates. We'll see what I decide

[mhowe]

Wayyyyy over the line.

[Fudgie]

That's why I locked my room when I lived with my roommates. They can't go into your room if you deadbolt it.

 

 

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[luminousone]

The first thing I thought of when you said you were going to store your alcohol in your room was that your roommate would go looking for it in your room. You might want to check on your alcohol levels to see if she took more than the fan.

 

I had a housemate with an eating disorder. She stole food from me but usually tried to replace it later. Once I came home to a ripe bunch of bananas with one very green banana fit into the bunch...as if I am not going to notice that she took it.

 

Anyhow, being her roommate was very draining for all of us. We finally had to ask her to leave. She was a very sweet person but there was one crisis after another after another and all of us got wiped out after a while. It was too intense. And we just couldn't trust her.

[mhowe]

Same here --- college housemate never bought food --- we called her the food phantom. If you bought milk in a cardboard container, you might get one glass

out of it. Next time you picked it up, it would have a cup left. Same with cold cuts, vegetables, etc. It became so bad we had a "house" intervention.

 

And it wasn't that she didn't have the money --- she was just lazy and entitled.

[faraday]

I lived with a bunch of guys right out of high school...and they were horrible. They ate all my groceries...but I think the worst was when our landlord called to say she'd be over in an hour...they took the sink full of dishes they had left there for a week (ones that I purchased- not had dirtied) and put them in a box in the basement to avoid needing to wash them....and didn't tell me about it for a few days. One of the other room mates and I ended up giving notice after that...it was just too hard to live with those guys.

 

Room mates suck. I had to buy a lock for my door too. I also used to blast country music all day from inside my room while I was at work, because those asshats would throw parties on a Monday night when I had to work in the morning. I bought a mini fridge for my room. I hated living with them. After that, I bought my first place. Haven't had room mates that since.

 

Good luck Bigkk

[BigKK]

Luminousone - I had a handle of Vodka in my room, but it was behind the TV so maybe she didn't notice, I actually checked the levels. Apparently her friend is staying with us for 2 weeks...woopie doo. I am going to get this sorted out soon. Unfortunately I am not in a spot to live alone... I mean I could make it happen, but we're talking a crummy part of town, and crummy living conditions. So we'll see...

 

I'm all for communicating and working it out, but I think this woman is beyond working with. She pulls the same stuff with food, although doesn't eat much but I will see my food disappear here and there, and I know the other roommate is out a lot like me so it's her since she hates doing groceries. It's getting old fast not being comfortable at your own place. So I might put in a 30 day notice in the beginning of October.

 

She has her own bathroom and still uses mine, since it used to be "ours," her excuse is that she doesn't want to clean it????? She was drunkenly complaining that I don't properly put the shower curtain back (I wasn't home for a few days) I told her it's the wind, and she wanted to argue me about a shower curtain in a bathroom she shouldn't be using anyway. I feel like I'm dealing with a 15 year old brat.

 

I talked with another friend and she said I need to get out of there simply because I should be surrounded with good people and not this kind of crap.

[mhowe]

Agree with friend who says surround yourself with quality people.

[BigKK]

Talking with best friend about living together tonight, we caught up really quick over the phone and his roommate is out on October 1st, and if it works out, I'll just put in my 30 days notice. I don't know if I tell my roommates WHY I'm leaving, but instead to not have a hostile living space for 30 days, I'll keep my mouth shut and just say I have an opportunity to live with my best friend and I'm taking it. We're going to lay out ground rules, and see about it. He was going to charge the next roommate more money but I know all of his bills and he said he won't charge me more, and just split the rent...I thought that was nice, I even implied I'd pay more since that was his plan with his next roommate, he said no way I'm "making money" on you.

 

It's still in the same area, it's about 3 miles closer to work. My best friend also has the same name as me, so it'll be K^2 (K squared) House. He's looking to buy a place in the next 6 months to a year, so this is a temporary living situation more than likely. He said if anything starts going wrong, our friendship comes first and we part ways, and I don't think I'll have issues. He's a little more sensitive than me, but just as easy going...I think it might be a better fit. The place isn't huge...it isn't tiny either, and there will be a sense of "calmness" living with someone I've known my whole life and knows me inside and out. He knows and likes Miss K and already said he wouldn't care if she comes over, cooks with me or spends the night and obviously vice-versa for him too. I'm trying to think of possible negatives but I've crashed on his couch for a few weeks at a time and we always got along great, and he's lived with me temporary in between houses and its the same thing. Besides this journal he's one of the few that will try to coach me into some sanity, but I provide the same service as him. We're both very active, so I think we can both easily have evenings where we both jump out, surf or play tennis together (private facility two blocks away) and if either declines we never hold it over each other. I think it might be a good fit... Did I mention it'll be roughly $150 cheaper a month too? I think it's a win-win. I might opt to pay more percentage of the electrical bill and ask if its fine to run my A/C at will, doubt he'll have an issue. He has a younger brother that hated living with him, but they're polar opposites and his younger brother got engaged and it was a couple vs. my friend. I consider this friend like a brother and think we won't have issues...we've always wanted to live together and I think it's going to happen... kind of excited, we'll see. I know he can get a little bit nutty about things if he is disrespected (like he has been with his current roommate) but I am honestly I pretty good roommate so I don't think we'll have issues.

 

 

Miss K's appraisal is done today, and they negotiated the price and they're going through with it. She kind of got pushed around since she loves the place...but she can also afford it... Personally I would of played a little bit more hardball with the owners and "walked," I can almost guarantee someone won't let a deal die for an extra $2k in a $500k deal, but I guess crazier things have happened. It's the principle almost... So she's going to have some out of pocket expenses moving in, on top of appliances, she's going to have to pay about $4-6k for new electrical.

 

 

I am still getting used to being in a relationship with someone who can take random business trips anytime. I know this is normal for many, but it's new to me...not bad, just different. She can never set "firm" plans as far as vacations. We were talking about going horseback riding and wine tasting the first week of October once the house closes... I was going to book something this week, luckily I didn't. She's off to the East Coast for a week to present something. She also is going to need to "save" due to all the purchases with this new place. We're probably going to Japan together in Jan 1st but I was hoping to do more stuff until then. I can swing the bill so she doesn't say no, but there is a little bit of pain associated with the thought of it, simply because I don't make as much and feel I need to get my funds in order. I am going to be driving for Uber and Lyft and I think once I start doing that it'll help with my own financial situation. The last few weeks I've been carrying the bill (almost exclusively) for most of our go out expenses and I think I Might stop, I'm doing it to help her ease off on her own spending during this house issue...I think that's being nice, but I'm being unfair to myself. We'll just stick to cheaper/low cost dates for now. Since I would want her to pick up the bill once she resettles after all the spending but in reality she hasn't spent much money....yet. Otherwise this isn't a huge issue, just something I'm pondering. I like to take care of my loved ones, but I need to take care of myself too...financially as well...so that independently I am in great shape as well.

[BigKK]

30 day notice sent last night...

 

I come home, Fan missing again, get pretty irritated, look for roommate she's not home...door is locked. Can't find my fan, it's 88F in my room. Go to workout and for a walk, come home again, she's already piss drunk I walk into her room and grab my fan. At that moment it hits me...there is no reason to be living with this sick person, her room REAKS of cat feces and urine...almost unbreathable, I doubt she even knows how bad it is. The funny thing is I was supposed to switch rooms to her old room, but there is literally cat feces on the carpet and the landlord was going to replace the carpets and treat the floorboard. I have been waiting for a few months for the carpets and also for the smell to go away, well I'm not waiting. I grab the fan, and notice her in the hallway...she fumbles her words "I took it again, sorry" I don't feel like arguing a drunk, so I say whatever and close my door.

 

I didn't get to talk to my close friend since he was busy but regardless I will figure something out if it doesn't work out with him.

 

 

The bright side is Miss K calls me at 8, and we go for a walk on the beach, and lay down and talk for about an hour and grab some frozen yogurt...it was really spur of the moment and was a nice turn around for my evening.

[mhowe]

She sounds like a train wreck. If I were you, I would talk to your buddy and move in right away --- even if you have to pay through end of Oct on your current

apt.

[BigKK]

She sounds like a train wreck. If I were you, I would talk to your buddy and move in right away --- even if you have to pay through end of Oct on your current

apt.

 

His place is available October 1st mhowe, that's exactly what I'm going to do... just pay double rent and bounce. Going to try to catch him today and hopefully solidfy this.

 

What's worse is I have her car here at work, she asked for "24 hours" to decide what to do, (her engine's blown) despite the fact I told her I'd help her with it 4 months ago (before sh** hit the fan with the car) she waited until it completely stopped running (not surprised) and now it's been almost 2 weeks and still waiting for her to "decide" what to do. I may have to motivate her. I rarely have problems with friends/acquantances and always give them a little bit more leeway, but I might just tow the car back to our home driveway.

[mhowe]

Don't bother asking....if you can tow it with your own auto business truck --- bring it back. And leave it.

Because otherwise you are going to get the "you said you would help me" bs, or ---- it is taking up space and losing you money.

 

You talked about it 4 months ago. She ignored.

You gave her 24 hours to decide....2 weeks ago.

 

Action isn't her strong suit.

 

No motivating, no asking. Tow it, and walk in and hand her the keys. Let her pay to have it towed away.

[luminousone]

Agree with mhowe- move in right away and pay double rent.

 

Tow the car back to the driveway and hand her the keys.

 

Done and done.

 

Sounds like your friend's place is a good fit.

 

Congrats to Ms. K on her new purchase!

[BigKK]

The car will be taken care of... haven't seen her since Wednesday. Don't really care to, I will "announce" to both roommates that I'm leaving, the landlord asked for my address for the deposit check. I know the other one will be sad... oh well. I am hanging out with my friend tonight to talk details, and hopefully confirm that I'm moving, if not I have to start a search, I have two backups...but he's number one on my list obviously.

 

 

Myself and Miss K wanted to do a different kind of day and I'm still trying to come up with something good. We were considering going to Tijuana and spending the day in Mexico, essentially I just want to get out of the city for a bit... The idea is just take the city in, some food an drinks, and maybe some authentic clubs at night to go dancing. I found horseback riding and wine for two for $120. Which is half the price than it is here, perhaps something to consider. I'm a little excited, I wanted a change.

 

The day will look like, wake up, go for a run together, shower, get dressed, go to the border. walk accross, cause havoc and make our way back. Part of the "occasion" is to celebrate me getting into school, Miss K's suggestion. I want to make my way into a salsa or merengue discoteca, I'm pretty decent if I don't say so myself!

[mylolita]

Hey Big,

 

Excellent idea for a mini break or even a day away - I hope it goes great, it sounds super fun! Have a great time! Best of luck with the move as well. It's great starting afresh and moving somewhere new, and by the sounds of it you and your roommate make a tight team!

 

Have fun!

 

Lo x

[BigKK]

Wow my weekend was amazing! So nice I didn't even feel like writing in my journal... there is nothing to write except mostly good stuff. We had a great time. Both were exhausted by the end and slept on the trolley ride home.

 

We plan on going camping maybe next month but it's just what I needed. Go to a different city, speak Spanish all day and eat good food and drink some tequila

 

It's confirmed that I am moving in with my friend, he's excited and so am I. I haven't even told my roommates yet that I'm moving out. I saw the older one on Saturday morning drunk, and stumbling at 10am and she walked out of her room without a shirt and covered herself up, shocked...you're walking in the hallway, what do you expect? She was heading to use my bathroom since she refuses to clean her own.

 

I haven't towed her car since we don't have a towing service, it'd cost me like $70. I finally got her to respond and she said "just get rid of it," I love getting stuck with an errand... it's more confirmation I'm making the right choice, this woman is deeply sick and tries to use others to help her since she's always a damsel in distress. We'll see what I do, I can't even just "get rid of it" need paperwork to do that for a car, when I asked her for the paperwork she started asking me how much she can get for it... So which is it, get rid of it, or sell it and give me the money? haha

 

 

School is going well, one of my exams wasn't as good as I thought... it's okay plenty of time to bounce back and need to study more. The teacher is very strict with her grading...way too strict in my opinion, but I digress.

 

 

Things are going really well with Miss K and I'm wondering if it was my own craziness that stirred things up in the beginning of this journal. I am feeling like myself again. I'm confident, I do my own thing, and if she wants to join fine...if not, we'll see each other another time too. It's some kind of mental reset. It feels like I grabbed the wheel of the ship and I'm in control again, she really wanted to hang out tonight but I said I'm going to be busy studying, so she countered with wanting to go salsa dancing tomorrow night. So I agreed. It just feels like this fair back and forth balance and I like to miss her.

 

I've let my guard down and so has she, turns out we're both a little bit nerdier than we were letting on. Let's just say we settled a big Hobbit and Lord of the Rings debate, and apparently she loves Mario, so I might have to get the Wii U I wanted for awhile, I know I shouldn't game, but I think it's not bad to play a video game together if it's a group social activity (talking about Mario Party, god I'm still such a kid sometimes)

 

The heatwave has settled down and everyone's emotions are a lot better. I am no longer bogged down with this roommate crap, I'll figure it out, I'm happy to live with my best friend. Granted he's a little bit crazy chasing a single mom with two kids and playing dad...but that's another story, I still love him to death haha.

 

 

I think I was settling into loving this girl and was scared and a lot of insecurities came rushing out. I had to fight them off and feel like they're still there, but to a much lesser degree... I guess that's how you work on yourself, recognize it, and then try to control reactions. Miss K invited me over last night and we had dinner and then she gave me the best full body massage out of the blue...it was amazing, followed up with some more fun. With the whole sex thing, I've settled down completely...I got out of my head and it just comes naturally now and feels so much better. Rather than this counting and oh is she into it as much as me, why is she always initiating... it's such an easy back and forth, and so much fun, I haven't been happier.

 

Looking forward to setting up my place so I can have some more stability

[faraday]

Love your update about miss k

 

 

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[Liraele]

Yay!

 

/10charminimum

[BigKK]

Thank you faraday, Lirale and Lo. It's nice to write something positive for a change, although I feel I have less to say. I woke up at 3am last night and actually was thankful for this journal. Before when I'd be upset, I'd whip open my iphone and write all my thoughts down. It would help me somewhat but the ability for people to chime in actually helps me. I feel so much more centered and balanced.

 

I got an 87% on my exam, I thought it'd be 90%+ but not bad for being out of the game for so long, I missed a few stupid things like dropping a number during calculations and messy syntax.

 

I got lunch today with my best friend, not sure what to call him, we have the same name... maybe Mr. K? It's going to get confusing though. Anyway, he gave me an update on his life and is very excited for me to move in (I am too) we always have good energy around each other... Our waitress was from a small island near Fiji (can't remember the name) and we kept making her laugh... Of course he got her number and is going to take her on a date. I swear I'm the best wingman ever.

 

 

Miss K is showing possible tenants her place to rent out her second unit. I helped out since she wanted to trust my judgement. Still no bites yet, and she's leaving for a week next week for work. Unlike last time when she left for a week and I was struggling...not anticipation or anything this time. Going to be moving when she's gone anyhow