BigKK and his overthinking, here we go...

[mhowe]

Alright! It seems so simple I don't know why it becomes so complicated in my mind sometimes. Thanks again, sounds like a plan =)

 

Your mind is set to "spin" mode. You really need to turn it off --- it is your worst enemy.

 

And when you ask Miss K --- do it as a genuine invite. Not a guilt trip that she has to spend a day off "with these wonderful cousins". Or how much you want

her to meet them.

 

Scenario: Phone or in person ----- My cousins are in town and I want to show them around....kinda payback for their generousity when I was in Rome.

I was thinking about doing xxx, yyy, zzz. Would you like to come along? (END)

 

Yes ---- great, I will pick you up at bbb.

 

No --- no problem. Just wanted to let you know what I was up to ---- I will catch up with you later. Have a great day off!

[BigKK]

Your mind is set to "spin" mode. You really need to turn it off --- it is your worst enemy.

 

And when you ask Miss K --- do it as a genuine invite. Not a guilt trip that she has to spend a day off "with these wonderful cousins". Or how much you want

her to meet them.

 

Scenario: Phone or in person ----- My cousins are in town and I want to show them around....kinda payback for their generousity when I was in Rome.

I was thinking about doing xxx, yyy, zzz. Would you like to come along? (END)

 

Yes ---- great, I will pick you up at bbb.

 

No --- no problem. Just wanted to let you know what I was up to ---- I will catch up with you later. Have a great day off!

I am not understanding what do you mean by spin mode?

 

That was my plan, if the girls want to do something, I'll plan something out, and invite her along. She hasn't met any of my family yet, except one of my cousins. We talked about how we're not necessarily "in a rush" to meet family. I talked about possibly Thanksgiving, since she's not going home then probably. Her mom and step-dad are coming for Christmas, so I'll meet them then.

 

I sometimes feel like I am tiring myself out with all this overthinking. I know I still need guidance since if everything went according to my own feelings, I would of probably beached this ship awhile ago.

[mhowe]

Spin mode = over thinking.

 

I would be very tired if I was you. Relax. It is supposed to be fun!

[BigKK]

Spin mode = over thinking.

 

I would be very tired if I was you. Relax. It is supposed to be fun!

 

I realized something, when I broke up my mind was racing and I couldn't deal with it. I'd go for 4-5 hour hikes until I was numb at a grueling pace, and then I re-discovered yoga and brought me some peace. A lot of these obsessive over thinking patterns stopped... I don't have an outlet, the gym isn't doing it for me right now. I haven't done yoga in over 2-3 months. I'm going to a yoga class tonight.

[mhowe]

Good detective work!!

[Liraele]

Yay for yoga!

 

You're on the right track - questioning yourself and learning from your mistakes is positive change in the right direction. Don't forget that during this whole process!

[BigKK]

Thank you! I am signing up at a new studio (that I heard good things about) 10 days free trial, can't go wrong with that. I asked my best friend if he wanted to do yoga (he was the one who got me REALLY into it over a year ago) and he said it's funny he was thinking yesterday how he needs yoga again. So I got a yoga date, even though I didn't need one...he asked me to hang out.

 

It will be fun signing waivers with him, we both have the same name, and first initial... always a trip for people. We get ID'd by girls at bars all the time, since they are convinced we're BSing them. (Not the most common name )

 

Good detective work!!

 

Yay for yoga!

 

You're on the right track - questioning yourself and learning from your mistakes is positive change in the right direction. Don't forget that during this whole process!

 

In the words of Elsa, I'm working on being able to let it go

 

I like this version

[video=youtube;aoBELyv9cgk] ]

[DancingFool]

Yoga is good. It's interesting that you couldn't just go by yourself though.

 

I don't know. I think you have a girl who needs a comfortable amount of space and balance to do her own things, while you are very attached at the hip type and to be honest, I don't think either one is wrong. However, the attached at the hip types really do best with each other and feel happiest and most fulfilled when in a relationship with someone of equal needs. Ditto for those who need space. When you combine these opposing needs, inevitably, the attached at the hip type feels constant anxiety and the space one starts to feel exhausted and crowded. It's an uphill battle for both people to reach a mutually satisfying balance and it seems like you are on the steep uphill part of that. I hope you do find the balance, but it will be work for both of you.

[BigKK]

I did go to yoga, played tennis and had dinner with my friend. It was really nice and fun. I made a point to put my phone away, at 11:30 I saw my phone. miss K wanted me to sleep over, I feel like in an effort to work on "codependence" I should of not, but I did, it was fine, except we were both out the door by 6. Almost disappointed in myself for caving

 

I guess I am an attached by the hip type. I'm just realizing this, I want to work on it because it'll eventually lead to me getting bored with her...or anyone. I am honestly getting really tired with these feelings , it's exhausting, and part of me feels like I have no control of it.

 

Do I just create distance and space, and then white knuckle it to maintain it? I hope it gets better, I even thought of just telling her all of this stuff...even a thought of just letting her go to alleviate it. In two months I went from a fun loving, easy going guy, to a pining boyfriend that can't wait to spend the next minute with her...there's much more to life, and right now I am so fixated.

[Firiel]

What about getting on something like a schedule? This helped me a lot with not being dependent on spending time with G when he still lived here. As the busier person, I was kind of the initiator. But essentially, I would spend one night over there a week that was specified at the beginning of the week (because I was training, I tried to find the most practical day). And then there was the understanding that we would spend at least one weekend night together, often two if the stars aligned. So I would spend most of the weekend with him and would spend one weekday with him. It was enough, but it kept me living my own life, too.

[mhowe]

Agree to a semi-flex schedule ---- in the beginning, you want to spend as much time as possible. But it can lead to "too much too fast"...and burn out.

 

My bf and I live in resort area year round...so there tends to be company/guests on weekends. We made Thurs night "ours" for a date night, and a night during the weekend if possible. But he has his guy nights, I had family or friends or my own just "chill" nights...

 

Once you are in school, your schedule will just change automatically.

 

There was a line of a song long time ago --- "time on my hands could be time spent with you".....and this is sooooo wrong. And not true! Remember, true growth and intimicay in a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't expend all of your energy --- manuever the course so you don't burn out in the first few laps.

[BigKK]

Perhaps, but I just am not understanding what's going on with me. I spoke about it with my best friend... he knows me as a "doesn't need a schedule, in the moment" kind of person. I always made the best of where I was at and made sure to not look too much into the future. Essentially I KNOW I could possibly deal with these anxieties by creating more structure in our relationship, but I honestly feel like that's almost enabling my nonsense. I want to "fix" this rather than just make it go away.

 

I'm fine today. Why? Because I hung out with her, it's like a friggin drug, I start jonesing...then I need a hit, then I'm good for a few days, then I get crazy again. It needs to stop. I went to the beach with my cousins (after a 7 hour drive) and just slept on the beach, and hung out. Very nice, and thankful girls...my mom picked them up later, and I stayed on the beach for about 2 hours after they left. Miss K called me and said she wants to longboard with me and her roommate. I agreed, and we went longboard...they had to bring mine to me since I wasn't home. It was a nice evening. Grabbed some beers, and she made me dinner. She is getting completely toasted at work. She works with the military and is running up and down ships everyday until Wednesday when she takes off. She was getting off of work, and they asked her to meet with an admiral as she was already done and leaving for the day...she had to go up something like 15 stories, after doing that all day, and said it just felt like the KO, but was nice to pretend it was a weekend night.

 

I met their neighbor (he joined them too) and he was a really nice guy, we got along well and talked about all kinds of things.

 

 

My friend changed her going away party date 3 times, and I told Miss K about the third time switch. This girl is a family friend and is leaving to medical school for 4 years to Europe. So a lot of my friends and family will be there, (I grew up with them all, and we're all immigrants) last night I gave Miss K the heads up that my mom will be there. I honestly expected her to back out, and was going to be okay with that. Especially since the date was changed so many times. She responded "sounds good, you think that's going to scare me off? just too bad my language practice isn't that sharp yet" I had rosetta stone and gave her it, and she's picking up the language remarkably well and fast.

 

She knows enough to greet, introduce herself, ask about people's day, and describe simple requests like "I want water, I need a hug," or descriptors like "that boy is running" "she is sad" I am quite surprised.

 

Yeah Firiel, I mean I am going to be on a schedule starting next week, and she'll be gone next week too, so I'll find what works for me the best. I just don't know like I mentioned if I'm "avoiding" the real issue if I am getting anxious with not knowing when we're going to hang out. I feel like if I am busy enough, I wouldn't care as much (not be anxious), it was a bad feeling and it just overtakes me suddenly.

 

DancingFool, I know, I know I'm the attached at the hip type and she is not. I don't want to be though, I don't know if at age 29 I can change myself, but I want to.

 

 

I know this mhowe, we learned it in rowing. It's called Flying and Dying, and I loved watching younger teams do it. They come out the gate incredibly fast, and seeing them 200-300 meters ahead of you was sometimes daunting, but it was almost comical when in 4 minutes you continue coming at the same space, and they can't do a dang thing about it.

 

 

I didn't realize my cousin is here for a conference, so she is at a conference till Monday and then wants to do a few things. On Saturday, Miss K and friends wants to get a group of people on Bikes and bike to downtown and grab some drinks, go bowling etc, her and her roommate, we're asking me to invite my two close friends that they've met. So I thought it's nice they're trying to integrate my friends, I don't know if its good or not but my friends get along with just about everyone so we'll see how that goes.

 

 

I have been lifting weights like a maniac for the past 4 months, I started getting serious again since a little before I started dating Miss K. My endurance is absolute crap, so I am going to work on that. My sister does triathlons and was going to give me her GPS watch that measures everything... Vo2 max, cadence, altitude, heart rate, recovery time, your feelings, everything, I thought it was really nice of her, and wanted to pay her but she said nope, I have a few of these. It also uploads it automatically to the internet and can compare with friends that have this watch as well.

 

I am going to start biking again, and doing some interval hill sprints and see how my heart rate is doing. I feel as though I am utterly bored with the gym right now, and have burnt myself out, as I usually do with things. (Go at it almost obsessively until it becomes almost trivial) so I'm thinking it's time for a gym break.

 

For a moment yesterday I thought I should get a blood panel done, or get my head checked, is there a way to check for dopamine levels, etc? I seriously doubt it, but started considering if there is some chemical imbalance going on??? It just hasn't felt like myself in my head lately, or is that just love and my unhealthy behaviors?

[mhowe]

It isn't your blood, it is your brain. Notice how when you are busy, it (anxious) kind of goes away. And she is busy and you are busy, and yet you are both trying to integrate and it all works out.

 

Live YOUR life --- and include her when possible for both your schedules, like the going away party. She is flexible too --- with the 3x date change for party, and she will still go. Because she didn't have anything already planned!!!

 

Ease up on the gym...it is increasing your testosterone levels. Keep with the yoga or bike rides.

 

You appear to have an obsessive type personality. So recognize it and make plans to deal with it. Pour on the obsession about school --- and chill the hell out! Miss K seems to be totally into you ---- and seems a bit better at balancing.

 

Slow and steady wins the race.

 

We all know how it feels to want to spend every minute together --- and those of us that have learned know that "anticipation" is better than a short hit of the drug called "love". So set a special nite that is "together" nite --- and try and keep it sacrosanct. Then you will not be jumping to know when the next hit happens. Because you will know.

 

And every once in a while, when life intrudes on it --- that is ok. And you reschedule as you are pushing it off --- and don't get upset unless there is a pattern.

[BigKK]

Seems like something reasonable, yes I do have an obsessive type personality probably with a few other things. Perhaps I do need to come up with a "day" and be flexible sometimes too, I normally am. It's just my emotions have been getting the best of me. If I obsess about positive things it usually makes a positive impact, if it's negative things it can be very damaging. (ie. when I got WAY into computer games 14 years ago) I sometimes feel like an addict that just keeps changing "drugs" so to speak. I have gotten better at balancing.

 

All of this seems reasonable, and my testosterone may be higher... I've been feeling more aggressive lately too, my libido is way up and I haven't initiated really once since we talked about me backing off a few weeks ago. I want to again, but just want her feeling comfortable, especially with this week of absolute work meltdown I figure she'll come to me if and when she wants to.

 

After she snoozed her alarm once this morning we woke up and still had 15 minutes, and she was almost in tears thinking about work and saying how she wants this ship to just be completed. I started rubbing her neck and shoulders for the remaining 15 minutes to try to get her mind off for a few minutes and it put a smile on her and she asked me why am I so perfect, and I laughed and responded far from. So it was a really pleasant send off, I know that this anxiety almost instantly melts off when I become busy. I think a part of my unhappiness comes from work, I don't really get excited by it...I don't hate it...but it's just work, It's fairly mindless and leaves me sometimes able to write out long posts on forums about my thoughts. On busy days I don't have time to grab a bite or check the time and the days go by, and I'm content. I noticed I have this preoccupation with keeping my mind on something, it has been computer games for a long time along with other things. Once I cut out computer games I found myself needing a new stimulus and luckily I found school reinvigorating. I am checking my application everyday, and they almost have all my transcripts. Class starts on Monday, and I think it'll help with all of these issues...I guess I don't have enough on my plate right now.

[BigKK]

Happy Monday, had an awesome weekend. Quite adventurous.

 

Miss K met my parents and a lot of family friends, and they liked her a lot. She mentioned she thought its cool that I have a large group that I hang out with that we all go back since we could remember.

 

Went biking with a large group of friends throughout San Diego. On the way back we would stop and grab a beer every 3-4 miles and continue. At one of the last places (7 miles away from home) my bike was stolen. Luckily it was my "I don't care about it so much bike" but regardless, I told the ladies to bike and I'd jog behind them. They didn't want to do that, so Miss K uber'ed home and I took her bike. I lead the charge back home on her bike, and then SNAPPED her bike chain...her friend following me crashed, and I had to help her up. We were both fine and scratching our heads what to do now...we both just started laughing... I lost my bike, broke my girlfriend's bike, so we took an SUV home with our bikes, and made an elaborate lie to explain everything to my girlfriend and make fun. It was quite entertaining, she believed all of it, and felt so bad she "gave me a bad bike" so I had to tell her we were fibbing.

 

 

I bought a GPS/Heart Rate Monitor yesterday! I got the Garmin 220 even though I wanted a Fenix2, I got it from REI so I can return it if I feel I want more features, probably don't need them... I am going to start doing short runs and sprints here and there.

Already came back from my first class today, should be a fairly easy engineering class, I read through the first few chapters and already did practice programs. I already feel better having this on my plate...I'm feeling the 4.0 coming (too soon perhaps!!) I made an effort to not be my quiet self in a classroom setting so I made friends, exchanged numbers and e-mails. It's funny...everyone is so quiet, and as soon as you ask them questions they're so happy that it's not dead silent and someone actually initiated.

 

Miss K leaves Wednesday Morning, and I'm gonna be babysitting her hedgehog...it'll be my little study buddy this week. I never liked rodents, but I actually find the hedgehog fun to play with while you're watching a movie, reading, or just lounging.

[BigKK]

Been Preoccupied with school and work, things are great! Maybe this is exactly what I needed...more on my plate, and now I don't have time to sit and ponder all these crazy thoughts. Miss K wanted a nice date before she took off, since we've been doing a lot of group stuff...so she took me out for sushi last night. Excellent food, and afterwards it was just really fun. She gave me a massage, and then we talked about my school and her home shopping. It was just absolutely pleasant. After that she was in a really goofy mood so we essentially were teasing each other for awhile with all kinds of references. We even woke up a few times at the same time at night, and continued the ongoing back and forth. This morning was the same thing. I really hope my neuroticness has passed and I won't have to deal with it as much, I feel a lot better.

 

My cousins are still in town and are completely unresponsive... I've invited them out, to the ocean, to dinner, etc...and they haven't responded through calls, text or e-mails. Later they texted me that they ordered something to my house (a kindle from amazon) and asked if I could just drop it off at their hotel. I did...but became a little annoyed that I'm running errands for them but not really hanging out anymore...oh well, that's family sometimes!

[faraday]

It makes me wonder if my best friend from college (ex best friend) if his current wife became jealous of me. Since everyone joked we had a bromance, workout every morning together, take classes together, go partying together, hell I was the third wheel all the time with those two and I know my friend didn't mind, but now I wonder if his then-gf, now wife, minded. (probably!!) Haven't seen him in two years..

This made me LAUGH so hard. Omg lol. That's awesome. She must have liked him a lot to have stuck around even though he was bringing his buddy on dates

 

Before I had my daughter, I was very much the same though. I'm singularly focused on people...always have been. I've always had one "best friend" since I was like...7...and whoever it was, I always spent all my time with them...until the friendship was done, or we met other people...when we got older, it was when one of us met an SO...and that whole cycle ended when I had my daughter. I just don't have free time to spend with one person like that...so now I have like 15 people that I hang out with once every few months. Some I see every few weeks. Life changes. And...it will for you too one day.

 

So...that part might not be as much co-dependant...but more so the way you have friendships. I'd rather have one really good friend than 10 "meh, they're fun" friends. I miss having friendships that are super close; but an SO plays that role for me now...but is a balancing act...SOs are different than besties and need to be treated differently.

 

I enjoy reading your journal. I'm a bit neurotic like you, so I find you relate-able...and I use this place as a sounding board too...it's good to get it all out on strangers instead of the people that have to deal with you everyday

[BigKK]

Well...from the front door of work today, I'm watching a man stand on a bridge. He has the whole freeway closed down, I hope he doesn't jump...he turned around to talk which is a good sign. Really hate to see people get to this state in their mind...

 

It also makes me very thankful for what I have in my life.

 

Faraday! What I am finding is that when my mind is idle I can make myself go crazy, I am doing great this week since I have a lot going on again. I think I am just adjusting to this new life...living in a new spot, girlfriend, and starting school. Likewise, I think we are alike in certain ways especially with trains of thought.

 

 

I dropped off Miss K this morning, she completely pounced me at 5am this morning and it was quite a surprise. I have to say that just backing off and "cooling it" had quite the opposite effect on our sex life, thanks to the advice here. She has been pouncing me a lot. She has been getting really excited with looking for a spot, my family friend realtor is helping her out. She's looking at a few places around my work, which would be funny. One was 2 blocks away from her place. I'm actually really happy for her, she hasn't been grounded since she got out of college. So she's planning to be here for a few years.

 

I'm just feeling a lot more confident in myself and this relationship, and now working on preventing this issues. This week on my own will be really good with setting a good study schedule for myself. I'm still wondering what the hell happened to me last weekend, felt like I was going to have a break down.

 

In class this morning I got a little ego boost when this 20 year old girl was shocked I took the previous physic course 8 years ago. "8 years ago?! there is no way you were in college 8 years ago, you look much younger" at age 29 I'll take it. I've always looked young for my age, and as I grow older I think I'll start liking it... I used to be made fun of for it!

[DancingFool]

*sniff sniff*....do I smell calm????

[BigKK]

*sniff sniff*....do I smell calm????

 

I know! I don't know why the stark contrast from last week to this week? is it because I know I can't see her so I'm fine with it? Is it the school? Is it the fact that my crazy thoughts were made apparent to me and I tried to fight them off? Is it security in the relationship?

 

 

I don't know what it is, but I just feel happy, and focused. Last night I went home, did some homework, played with the hedgehog, and fell asleep... slept 12 hours. I must have been exhausted... Miss K is sending me occasional e-mails here and there. I am trying to give her some space so she can enjoy as much family time. E-mails and not texts...because she dropped her phone in the water. (sounds like her!) I also want to hear about all the details in person when she gets back.

 

I ask the questions in the beginning because I want to prevent feeling like that. It was very uneasy, I wonder if being on a schedule and the structure makes me more sane and perhaps I just need to do that. Since my bike was stolen and I broke Miss K's bike, I am going to "steal" hers, while she's gone and slowly fix it and tune it up over the week...gives me a little project if I want to just work with my hands, and I'm sure she'll appreciate it too. I'm trying to control my "treats" but I hope this one is okay!

 

Lastly I am starting to recognize "crazy" thought patterns, like the beginning of a "jealous" or "needy" thought pattern, and I immediately nipped it in the butt. I think it's being cognizant of these thoughts that I can now fight them off and recognize "You're being Crazy BigKK, it's nothing with the relationship" versus pinning everything ME vs. the Relationship, am I being treated fairly, etc etc etc? I hope to keep this up because I feel sane again..

 

 

Edit: Maybe the yoga helped? note to self: continue doing yoga at a minimum of once a week

[DancingFool]

Fixing the bike you broke is not a treat, btw, it's the right thing to do.

 

I guess we'll see if the calm lasts once she is back.... Perhaps remember this feeling of security and even once she is back, try to conduct your life a bit like she is still on vacay. What I mean is don't wrap your time and everything you do or don't do constantly around her.

[BigKK]

Good point DF, I suppose I am watching out for not giving too many treats I am mixing them up at this point. The funny thing is her reaction was "Oh my god I gave you a dangerous bike, I'm so terrible, you could of been hurt" and I felt terrible I broke her bike.

 

The calm is still good... the last two days I have just been coming home, eating, watching Breaking Bad and immediately falling asleep. I suppose I am just catching up on sleep.

 

I ordered a bike chain, and tools for Miss K's bike. When I picked it up, her roommate (and best friend) opened the door before I even knocked and was excited to see me. We chatted for about 15 minutes, and she asked about my weekend. I know she's a little bit lonely since her BF is in the MidWest and Miss K usually helps her fill up the weekend, so she suggested if I need a cycling buddy on the weekend that she'd be up for it. I told her I'd let her know. I thought it was really nice of her, but also sort of want to keep my distance.

 

I'm pulling out my carbon fiber road bike from storage today, she's been sitting there for almost a year, and I kind of feel guilty. My heart rate monitor gets in today, and I want to take her on a ride and just hammer myself into the ground and see how my heart rate does.

 

 

I'm starting to see how my mind is working as far as spiraling thoughts. Last night I woke up at 2am, and my mind went to Miss K, and just missing her. I haven't missed her at all, until last night when I wished she was next to me...then I started remembering that photo with some random guy. I got upset and started having insecure thoughts going through my mind...I actually stopped myself, told myself everything is fine...and focused on the next day and all the things I need to get done...it then just kind of melted right off.

 

I had my physical and finger prints taken for the volunteership yesterday, they said it should take a month to get me in. I don't know what it has been lately, but I swear I have been getting flirted with a lot lately...is it that whole phenomenon of being in a relationship...now the opposite sex seems suddenly interested. The volunteer girl interviewing, the medical office, the finger print place, the gym, at work...maybe it's because I've been smiling a lot. I exchanged numbers and e-mails with a few people in an engineering class, and one of the girls was going to her next class but obviously took the wrong way to continue talking to me and ended it with. "Just so you know you can text me if you have any issues with homework or anything," I am pretty sure she is just friendly but don't want to give her the wrong idea, so I'll keep it to e-mails but I don't need any help yet.

 

 

I'm going to work on that DF, I feel like I am still hammering out my schedule with work and school. I have been writing about sleeping a lot, and I honestly think it's the school + work, I am just mentally exhausted by the end. I am pretty sure my "school endurance" will get better. I recall when I was unemployed for a few months several years ago, and jumped into a full time job. Those 8 hours felt like an eternity, I'd come home and be a vegetable, now I added an additional 12 hours of school and feel like someone sledgehammered me (and it's not that much). These aren't even the hardest classes yet, so I am really focusing a lot to re-build my foundation so when the tough classes come I'm ready.

 

It's going to take some work with not wrapping time around her, since I know I will be excited she's back. Do I just tell her my planned study schedule and tell her I can't hangout those certain evenings? I'm sure she'll respect it, so perhaps I'm answering my own question. Is it wrong to be addicted to sleeping next to her? I don't mean sex, but I think I sleep better with her next to me...I'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, and grab her hands and just pull her closer, she'll stir a little bit and mumble, and we both fall back asleep. I mean I know married couples sleep next to each other all the time, I'm just wondering gf/bf dynamics in other couples.

 

Anyway, finishing my coffee... Happy Friday, no real plans for the weekend and I'm not feeling bad about it. I hope to just study, do errands, exercise, and sleep on the beach!

[faraday]

Jay says he misses sleeping with me when he's gone. I really miss that the most...we usually cuddle so...my bed just feels so empty when he's gone. I actually place pillows all around me like a nest when he's gone. King sized beds are really big sometimes

 

So yeah...it's normal

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[DancingFool]

LOL....yes they are flirting with you not because you are in a relationship, they don't know that, but because you are happy. Whether you realize it or not, you are basically more relaxed and outgoing in your social interactions. You are smiling at people, you are talking easily with the opposite sex, making eye contact, etc. It all boils down the fact that you are not prowling looking at every female as potential dating target. This goes for everyone, btw, and both sexes. Being in a relationship doesn't make you attractive, it's how it affects your behavior and interactions with others that attracts.

 

Anyway, good call on keeping your distance from the roommates. If your gf asked if you'd be willing to take her roommie along for the bike ride, that's one thing. Otherwise the "oh hey I spent all weekend biking and hanging out with your bf" can come accross as a bit off.

[BigKK]

I always thought it's the "I'm in a relationship" pheromone." It makes perfect sense though DF, I started school this week, had a really lovely send off of my girlfriend and have just been happy...which is probably attractive. I also have been taking care of myself as well (read: more self-confidence) so I attribute to that as well, but I think the biggest factor is probably the smiling and contentness and not that I dropped 10 lbs! I hardly use social media, but apparently 8tracks, my music streaming software on my phone broadcasts what playlist I'm playing... Miss K "caught me" listening to some love playlist and called me out on it (and told me that it's getting broadcasted) still haven't heard the end of that one

 

Yeah I'm not sure if her friend thinks I'll be "lonely" so she's being nice, or if I'm being nice. I'm hanging out with a friend of mine tonight doing some bodyboarding and a dinner, haven't seen her in about 2 months. She was part of our coined grew "the savages" (Myself, her, and my best friend) but the two of them had a falling out, so now we hang out separately...silly adult drama.

 

This morning Miss K asked her roommate to mail her iphone to her since she broke hers out there, and wanted her to overnight it. She then 20 minutes later forward me the e-mail and asked if I could take care of it. I told her I could do it during lunch, she didn't like my possible suggestions: Buy a Phone from Verizon and return it in a week afterwards for a $35 restocking fee. She said she doesn't want the $800 charge on her card. It's like she asked her roommate/friend but then can't rely on her so asked me as a backup, well her roommate just told her she'd do it, so I don't have to drive back and forth. (this is the OTHER roommate) The last time she did a favor for her roommate, she withdrew the asking and threw it in Miss K's face (She asked her to help move some furniture, when Miss K obliged she said ok meet at 8, then changed to 9pm, then 10pm, then Miss K asked her to firm a time since its a week night, and she blew up and told her that shes being a bad friend...yup her roommate is sometimes irrational), so perhaps that's why she second guessed even asking her for help, but I assume she didn't want to disrupt my day. Although I don't mind helping out, I can't even dare "judge" or say anything about her being a little bit clumsy, since I'm the same way...in a way it's as if since we're both a little bit the same way we both have immunity against each other. (example: She lost 2 credit cards on our third date, I rest my case! )

 

 

I am bored in general of this business, I run an auto shop... but sometimes the money is nice. I just rummaged around in two cars with a computer for about 15 minutes total and charged them $50 each... $100 for about 15 minutes. Granted it's not always like that, but sometimes it's pretty nice money. I recognize overhead costs, rent, taxes, advertising expenses, etc etc... but I guess it's a smooth fairly profitable Friday and I'm appreciating it. I prime and prep people for every possible scenario so they're never surprised when I have to call them back...but still people get upset that the car didn't have the problem they thought it would have (or should have). I am going to like getting out of the customer service business anyway... I feel I am absolutely excellent when it comes to dealing with people of all types, happy sad angry etc, any kind of strange situation or issue I'm always the one dealing with it since I have the "right touch." But regardless, I can't wait 2 years from now...maybe 3 or 4, working at a firm or different company... once I have the technical skills I think my interpersonal skills will shine through... I have middle management written all over me! Haha just kidding, I'm quoting something from somewhere that I don't know! I'm allowed to though since I'm ESL!

 

 

haha Faraday, I actually did that last night, I wonder if I did it unknowingly...just created a "Miss K" pillow to throw my leg over. I got pretty big legs (it's an ongoing, never endless joke about them with my friends) so now that I think about it, Miss K is probably getting stronger over time just spooning me.