happy_snapper Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 This is what we look like, while in the process of snuggling We're very normal people Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 12, 2015 Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 I hate being ill and the weather being bad. I get so moody and everything feels terrible. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I love CJ so much. We went to a national trust country house yesterday. They're in the process of restoring the roof and to help raise money to get it finished, they're allowing people to write messages on the new slates in exchange for a donation. They said that they're only going to be using slates with peoples messages on them and the pen is permanent. So all these messages will be up there on the roof of this grand 17th century house, for as long as the new roof lasts. Maybe a couple of hundred years.... well, personally I expect weathering isn't going to be too kind to them, but they should last for a long time. Me and CJ wrote a little message to each other saying how much we love each other. There's something special about the thought that those words we thought up in a hurry and wrote down, could outlast us. Many years from now, somebody could be cleaning the roof and reading the messages and wonder who Pete and Chan were. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Awwww, that is so nice. I'm very happy for you an CJ! Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Chan stayed over at mine again last night. We had a delicious(ly cheap) pizza and then I baked her my signature dish. Apple Crumble. And none of this crap with crushed biscuit, I'm talking about the proper stuff. She absolutely loved it and not just because I'd made it apparently. She did also say that it was unbelievably sexy watching me cook. Her recommendation is that next time I cook I have to wear an apron. Just an apron. I only have one recipe in my head, but it's a good one. Time for Cooking With Snapper The recipe for the crumble is (by weight) 1 part sugar, 1 part butter and 1.5 parts self-raising flour. The original recipe being 4-4-6 oz, which serves about 4 people (or 2 greedy people). If you want more, you can just increase the amounts. You'll also need enough fruit to cover the bottom of your cooking dish, because apparently stuffing a quarter of a pound of butter and the same about of sugar straight into your mouth isn't healthy. But fruit is healthy, so it cancels out. Cooking apples are good, as is rhubarb. I've heard tell of a banana crumble, but never tried it. Chuck all the flour, sugar and butter in a mixing bowl, squidge it with your fingers, mix it up a bit and crumble it into little lumps. If you leave the butter out of the fridge for a bit, it'll go soft and mix really easily. Keep squidging it until the butter has mixed in. It should be pale yellow, powdery with uneven lumps in it. Chop up the fruit, slop it into the cooking dish, put some sugar on top if it needs it, maybe some cinnamon. Chuck the crumble on top. Level it off and try to cover all the fruit. 200C for 20 minutes and get the stick ready to beat the women off. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 Next time on Cooking with Snapper: Beef Sludge! Link to comment
notalady Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 So will Cooking with Snapper feature cooking a snapper at some point? It's a type of fish Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 So will Cooking with Snapper feature cooking a snapper at some point? It's a type of fish Sorry, no cannibalism on my show Link to comment
notalady Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Sorry, no cannibalism on my show That's a shame Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 I hadn't noticed that I haven't posted here for a week. Lets see, what's happened? Well, around the time of my last post, me and CJ were having an argument... sort of... about that girl she thinks I'm obsessed with. This time I just told her straight how I felt about her lack of trust in me and exactly how I felt. She backed down very quickly, I assume because she realised that she'd gone too far. Anyway, that conversation has been dropped for now, but I want to talk to her more about it. It needs to be addressed properly, but... well, there are more important things happening right now. We're planning to have a family picnic tomorrow, unless the weather is bad, in which case we'll have a family dinner. My parents, sisters and her mum... Should be very nice. But it's all kind of overshadowed... CJ and her mum have had some extremely bad news recently. A little while ago, her mum was diagnosed with early-stage lung cancer. Luckily they've found it before it spread or caused too much damage, but that's the only good news. Last weekend she's had more scans and stuff and now she's been given it straight. They need to operate. Soon. It's the only way of treating her. Otherwise it will spread and they don't give her very good chances of survival if it does. But it gets worse. The operation required is very dangerous. People have died during this operation... a terrifyingly high percentage in fact. And her mum isn't the strongest of people... Basically they're coming to terms with the fact, that her mum has to have an operation in the next couple of months and she might not come out alive. Chan's realised that when they go in for the operation, she'll have to say her last goodbye, because it may be the last time she sees her mum alive. I just can't imagine what she's going through. We're trying to carry on as normal for as long as we can, but it's hard. Link to comment
WithLove Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Oh HS, I'm so very sorry. I'm sending prayers for CJ and her momma. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I'm so sorry or CJ. I had to go through all of that I. My 39s with my father, and I think it would be one of the most difficult things a person can go through I. Their life. My prayer for CJ and her family too. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 I'm just scared that I won't be strong enough for her. If her mother dies, she won't have anybody. She has a sister in Australia who probably wouldn't even come back for her own mother's funeral. A brother with mental health issues that makes him violent and unpleasant. Her father in Scotland who she hates. Some people she's related to that she doesn't consider a family Some friends And me. If her mother dies, who can she rely on out of those left? Me. As somebody very close to my family, I'm close to tears just thinking about being that alone. Link to comment
WithLove Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Forgive me if what I'm about to say is insensitive - I find that a lot of troubles you write about are indicative of her seemingly very low self esteem. When times like these come around, yes, it's imperative to have a support system around - but you also need to absolutely be able to rely on yourself to get through it, and I feel like she's going to have a really bad time of it. It's going to put a lot of stress on you as her significant other and you're already sounding like you don't know if you can be strong for her. I feel like deep down you're questioning if you really want to be her main support system and you're asking yourself what this will mean for your relationship. I'm worried that your relationship with CJ will suffer because of her lack of support apart from you and lack of self support. I don't mean to drag it down further. I just think you're a really good guy that maybe would appreciate some outside perspective. Maybe I'm wrong? Hopefully? Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 The fact of the matter is that she does have family...she just chooses not to be close with them. Same for her friends. When my mother was ill and I was coordinating her care, I reached out to all of her family, some I hadn't seen I years. And they stood up and were there for her. CJ may have some growing up to do. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 Well I've really only got what CJ's told me, but I think of her as a very strong woman who's had to do a lot for herself throughout her life. She's asked for help on a number of occasions and got none. Her and her mum are the ones who give help and support, and the rest are the ones that take. The fact of the matter is that she does have family...she just chooses not to be close with them. Same for her friends. Well, I'm not sure where you got that from. How do you know what her family is like? Yeah, she made the choice to stay away from her dad. He was physically abusive to her and her mum, so what do you expect? She doesn't expect any help from her older brother, because he can hardly take care of himself. She doesn't expect any help from her cousins, because it took emotional blackmail to get a greetings card out of them. The only one with a chance of being there for her, is her sister, who lives in Australia with her husband and 2 kids and has a life there. They haven't spoken for 10 years, but yeah things could change if something happened to their mum. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I think that you need to give CJ more credit for being a strong person who managed to take care of herself and her mom all those years and she will continue to manage. Be careful that you don't project your own fears and desires to her. Remember that you two are a couple, but at the same time still different people. So during this stressful time, maybe just be open to take clues from her about what she needs or plain old ask and follow through on what she is asking or saying even if you don't agree with it and feel that you would want something different. Remember that this moment is not about you and what you would want or feel, but about her...entirely so. In other words, don't jump ahead over thinking things. Assuming that suddenly she will need from you something unprecedented that you cannot live up, etc. More likely, she will just need you to be you. Your usual self. An oasis from her stress and that is all. Being there for someone, a lot of the times, is really quite a passive role. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Hey Snappy, I think CJ will be okay, and I agree, just be the type of friend you have always been. Losing my father - he was only young, but ver brave - was difficult, but it did force me to move onto another milestone. Her Mum might be okay anyway. My father had a very aggressive form of cancer, and his prognosis was not good from the start. I didn't have any family around me either as I had moved away interstate for my husbands work, but then the marriage ended and he and family law at that time did not permit me to go back to live with my family. I had a 7 year old to take care of. I don't consider myself to be a strong person, but I got through it, and CJ will get through things too. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Me and cj had a gargantuan heart to heart last night. In bed at about 1am, we started talking about... stuff. We decided to stop when we realised that we'd talked nonstop for 2 and a half hours. We spoke about everything... things we were confused about, things that had upset us. Far too much to list. We talked everything through that had been worrying me. All that matters is that I'm satisfied and she's satisfied. I'm a hell of a lot less confused... Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 We had an amazing weekend. CJ came round on Friday evening and spent the entire weekend with me. On Saturday we had a picnic by the lake with both our families: My parents and their dog, my sisters, CJ's mum, CJ, me. It was lovely. Everybody got on very well. CJ's mum is incredibly upbeat, you wouldn't believe that she'd been recently told that she may only have a few months to live.She said about what the doctors are doing for her. The worry for them, is that her heart isn't in great condition, which is why the operation is so dangerous. But they're doing all they can to help her strengthen up for it. And the talk me and CJ had in the early hours of Sunday morning was great. It's a big load off my mind. There were all these things that I was unsure about and worried to talk about. We just started talking and asking questions. I think the reason we worked so much out this time, is because usually when we have a serious talk, it feels... serious. I sit down, "I need to ask you something" or "We need to talk"... terrifying. I think both of us want to get out of it as soon as possible. This time, we were in bed with the lights low, we were naked, lying in each other's arms, we'd just taken part in a de-stressing activity... All serious conversations should take place in this kind of atmosphere. She explained a lot. The jealousy/insecurity makes sense to me now. She'd mentioned before that her ex had been unfaithful, but she hadn't explained it properly before. He had these female friends who he preferred to spend his time with. He emotionally cheated on her and, according to her friends, he'd physically cheated on her too. The way I described this girl to her, made her feel like I was doing the same. She felt like there was this person that I'd prefer to spend my time with and I had no problem telling her all about it. It seemed like I couldn't stop myself from being near this other girl. She apologised for being irrational and for letting her previous experiences cloud her judgement. I apologised for my behaviour. The way I acted (right at the beginning of our relationship too) was not normal and I can see why she felt the way she did. I'm convinced that it won't happen again. Here's the thing, she's not a jealous or possessive person. She fully understands that men look at women. She's fine with me watching porn, we've watched some together (I'd say more a funny experience rather than sexy). She doesn't mind me having female friends, it's just the way I described this one girl, it seemed like I wanted to be more than friends. I'm happy that we've spoken about these things. Some of them had been left unspoken for several months. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I'm in a very happy mood today. I think I may be solar powered. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 Oh crap. CJ's mother's operation is on Thursday morning. We all thought it was going to be further away than that. They're expecting the worst and hoping for the best. If it goes well, she'll be cancer free, with a good number of years ahead of her. That's what we're focusing on. But at the same time CJ's making plans for what will happen if things don't go well. There's a chance that her heart can't take it. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 Oh wow I just remembered the most gloriously hilarious moment of the weekend... possibly of my life. How could I have forgotten to mention it? You guys aren't going to believe this. My dad had a final attempt to have... The Talk... with me. It was so incredibly awkward and hilarious. He's a great person, I love him to bits, but he's so useless at anything like that. He's probably only managed to have a real heart-to-heart with me... 3 or 4 times in my life. Embarrassing subjects are just impossible. I have no idea how he has 3 kids. Over the years he's tried to start the conversation several times. The last time he tried was about 5 or 6 years ago and I kind of told him that I'd worked it all out for myself, from books and the internet. He seemed relieved. On Saturday we were talking about crazy dreams and I said about how on Wednesday morning, CJ had leaped out of bed saying that her phone had fallen through the floor, begging me to turn the light on (which was right next to her). A bit later, me and dad were taking some things back to my apartment. "So you and CJ are sharing a bed?" "Yeah" "...Is there anything you need to know? You can always ask me..." "Um dad... Me and Chantelle have been together for about 6 months now and we started having sex within the first month. She's not pregnant, so I think we know what we're doing." "Oh good... Nice job." Talk complete. OK that may be a little unfair. He did the best he could for me over the years and I think he did a very good job. Love ya dad. Link to comment
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