Batya33 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I'm not sure how prevalent the false positives are. And of course factor in the "what ifs" -figure out (no need to share it here of course!!) if you can in what situations you would opt to terminate and that will help inform your decision about whether to do invasive testing or just blood tests. That was of course a difficult analysis for me and for my husband but it was helpful. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 Apparently, if you get any kind of positive screening, the invasive tests are mandatory. That makes me uneasy. I know amniocentesis is only a 1 in 400 risk of miscarriage or complications, but I'd feel better if it was like 1 in 40,000. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 So I wanted to add that some parents want to know not for the purpose of potential termination but to prepare for a baby with special needs or a disability. The invasive tests are NEVER mandatory - I would be shocked if that were true. If you get a positive result they might recommend strongly that you follow up with the amnio or cvs if there is time for that. I knew I probably had only one shot of being pregnant in my entire life so that greatly informed my decision not to take any miscarriage risk. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 Of course there's that side of it. That's good to know. Well, I am going to go ahead with the screening. My SIL did it with no issues and the odds of something being wrong are so low. Everything is measuring right on schedule, strong heartbeat, I'm healthy, etc... so I really should just take the precaution and rest easy knowing that everything is a ok. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Yes at your age it is very low risk. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 What a nice weekend we've had FIL and his wife L showed up at about 11 pm on Thursday and got the 5 pm ferry back home tonight. We spent the whole weekend together and it was low-key and relaxed. I've never seen him so relaxed. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but everything was good. I'm having so much fun with sister in law. She's ginormous (due end of June) and so thrilled that we're pregnant together. Alex felt her little guy kick and he was pretty enthralled. Yesterday we went to the mall and looked around Baby R'Us and SIL shared everything she's learned, and we bought each other presents lol. We got her a sleep sack and she got us a tree decal for in the nursery. Going with a woodland theme. Then we had a huge easter feast that FIL cooked, and today it was beautiful and sunny, so we went to the waterfront and had brunch. 10 weeks today for little Smudge and Alex has decided that we need to sell his sports car and get a truck with auto transmission, so we're looking at small and mid-2000's trucks. Out here, we really do need a truck so it makes a lot of sense. We can't get any of our landscaping done without one and it'll be so nice not to have to borrow someone else's truck all the time. Now that I can't even wear my jeans buttoned up, this is all getting very real. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 My mother in law told all the relatives over Easter weekend after we asked her to keep it to herself. I'm really mad and hurt. I was looking forward to calling the aunts and uncles in a couple of weeks and she took that from me. Worst of all, I feel like I can't trust her. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Awww I am sorry. I would tell her exactly that. If you have another child you won't be telling her in advance of anyone else. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 That's what I was saying to myself this morning. Next time, she'll be the last to know. I don't know if it's pregnancy rage or what, but I woke up this morning so mad at her! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Yes, that's the risk and what she did was rude. My immediate family kept it 100% quiet till I was ready to tell others at 14 weeks -was thankful for that. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 It is entirely your right to tell when, absolutely . But as a way of explanation I think she's just excited to be a grandma. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 I know she is, and that's good. I just hate that she can be so selfish. This is just one in a long line of things of her behaviour. Anyways... I'll just have to let it roll off my back. It's gotten so sunny here, definitely spring. I was in the office all day and then nursed a headache after work. Now I've got to do some training for work, so I don't get any outside time. I managed a quick walk at lunch, but that's about it. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 I think work stress is exacerbating illness because I felt amazing all weekend (for the most part, just tired and hungry) and last night I got home and I just felt awful. I managed to do an hour of training and then I hit the wall. Just headache and super queasy and I was up for a large chunk of the night, worrying about various things. No fun. I need to figure out how to get work out of my head when I get home. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 That was really crappy of her to do. I know how exciting bringing a new family member in can be (once I got over the whole sister-having-a-baby-before-me emotions I was practically bursting at the seems to shout that I was becoming an aunt) but it's just not your secret to tell, ya know? I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you can't tell her anything else in the future that you want a secret. How are you doing with morning sickness? Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Yeah, it really just makes me a bit bitter that she didn't respect my wishes. This is our first baby and not knowing what to expect, I wanted to keep it quiet. I am just now coming out of the protective "must hide from the world" bubble. I just need to get over it, but to be honest, my feelings are still pretty hurt. Anyways, I mostly have days where I feel pretty great (albeit tired) and I have the odd couple of days a week where I feel awful. My midwife said that it's likely the prenatal vitamins and that I can stop taking them as long as I am still taking folic acid and eating lots of fruits and veg. I think stopping those will help prevent any lousy days. I still find that on days (like today) where there is cramping and tugging, I am super hungry. I had a huge dinner and I am thinking about going in for a banana. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Wooo it's my Friday! It's been sunny and gorgeous all week and now it's going to rain all weekend haha. Figures. Not too bothered though, but I am regretting buying a raincoat that was already a smaller size than usual. Pretty sure it won't zip up. What a waste of money that coat was. I've worn it maybe 3 times! Had our last visit with SIL last night. I was sad to see her go. I like having a pregnancy buddy nearby. They still wish they could live out here, but will not give up their high paying jobs. Although, the high paying jobs don't seem worth it to me, because they're living to work, not working to live. She frequently complains that they have no time to do anything and they are both required to work tons of overtime. I'm definitely glad that while we may have a lower pay scale here, work/life balance is highly valued. Even CEO's will hit the road at 5 pm to go and do their favourite sport, pick up their kids, etc... I will admit, we live on island time a little bit. I like it that way though. I'd rather make less and have to pinch pennies a bit than be a slave to my job and only have stuff to show for it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I understand what you mean I live in a small town and for almost five years now. I used to live in a city of almost 600,000. The town I live in now is about 19,000 for the entire expanded area. And it has a very very low-key atmosphere. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 It was a lovely weekend away. It was definitely hard to get out of a bed this morning! Lots of good food, plus a truly gourmet meal on Saturday night that left me wondering what I've been eating all my life... lol. This restaurant deserves every award it's gotten since it opened last year. The service, the food, the atmosphere, everything was just perfect. The chefs are magicians. We also went on quite a few beach walks and did some shopping. We also went to the aquarium that Alex and I loved so much in the summer. It was just as good this time too. I spent a long time just watching this rock crab eat his lunch. Relaxing. I was glad to get home to our bed, for sure, and I'm glad that this weekend, it will just be me, myself, and I. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 I called a meeting with my boss and now I'm doubting that I'll know what to say to him. The backstory is that I moved from a customer care position to an outside sales position in September, and in January, we discussed moving me into a different sales position (much more potential, ability to work from home, and basically, it's something that excites me.) Since then, he had not said a word about it, so I asked him to meet. I'm concerned because obviously, baby on the way and I will be off for a year come mid-late October. I don't even know if I'm still in the running for it, or if they are planning on bringing someone new in, or if they've kiboshed the whole idea. That said, this is good timing, because I have five systems being installed this month and I am thisclose to making quota. I need one more sale and I'm there. I am just sitting here going hmmm I don't know, should I do a bunch of prep tonight or just relax and let it be a natural conversation. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 The meeting was not what I expected, and then it was at the same time. They're not pursuing any changes within the vertical I'm interested in, and my boss doesn't think I should be getting into it now anyways, since I'll be on leave. I asked him if I could work from home to make up for time lost to doctor's appointments and the occasional morning (like today) where I just couldn't fight down the nausea to get to work on time. Didn't get very far with that. I also suggested that I work from home after baby, and he wasn't too game for that either. He was nice about it, but long story short, I got pregnant and we don't know where I'll be a year from now. They will hold my job for me, but if I don't get my numbers up by August, I'll have to go down to minimum wage. I get it. They're spending $ on me every month and I've got to bring in more. I am working on it. I am thisclose to making my quota for this month-- 5 installs is no small amount of sales work! I really just need some larger clients to boost things. Regardless, I'd sooner go on mat leave early than go down to minimum wage. Is that wrong? I'm frustrated. I feel like Alex and I had a millisecond of not having to worry about income. Thank goodness he gets a raise in 2 months. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 I'm pursuing larger opportunities on the mainland. I just feel like there isn't much here on the island in terms of larger opportunities. My boss is passing me some bluebirds, for which I am grateful I've been working on closing sales all week and yesterday we had a half day of training on the new surveillance supplier. I love those products. I was just enthralled! Alex is gone for 8 days, and before he left he bought the truck he found. He called me to okay it and everything and I just said, you know what we need, and if you really want to jump on it, go for it. So, he did. You know you trust your husband when! I'm lucky to be be married to such a smart, savvy guy. He made sure it's got 4 doors, new tires, a big backseat, and it's mid-size, so I won't be terrified to drive it. Will still be quite a change! Am definitely tired today. I worked until 7 pm last night and today things are very slow, just waiting for clients and paperwork and such. I plan on spending the rest of the day cold-calling. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 My truck is like driving a tank. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 My truck is like driving a tank. This is a Toyota Tacoma mid-size, so while it'll feel big for the first while, it's not THAT big. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated to drive a truck. I never have before. I'm very much a small-car girl, but it's going to be so nice to have the ability to bring in landscaping supplies, and used furniture, and tow a trailer one day. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 This is a Toyota Tacoma mid-size, so while it'll feel big for the first while, it's not THAT big. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated to drive a truck. I never have before. I'm very much a small-car girl, but it's going to be so nice to have the ability to bring in landscaping supplies, and used furniture, and tow a trailer one day. Okay ,we have an F150 with the super cab. But driving a truck is much different than driving a car because it's so much bigger. It's even more awkward to negotiate then my van. Basically parking is a nightmare. But it IS nice to have a truck. This is our truck. link removed Link to comment
redrose85 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 Nice ride! My co-worker recently got a 2015 Tacoma (4 doors as well) and I was just looking at it thinking, oh man, it's huge! lol. Too late now. I'm absolutely roasting at work. It feels like summer up in the office. It's 17 outside and feels like 25 in here. I don't know what I am going to do this summer! I've got my socks off and a fan on, but still just feel gross. Link to comment
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