HellFrost666 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 If you're so worried about not fitting in, remember, it's the people that don't fit in that everyone else secretly looks up to. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Some of the biggest "losers" in high school turn out to be big winners in the end. Look at Bill Gates; He never really fit in at his school, and now he's stinking filthy rich and successful in life. It does get better in time. Trust me. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 there's some AWESOME people on this site that would be more than willing to be your friend. Myself included. My name is Shelby. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 So why are you focusing on all the people that hated you and what they said/did to you??? It can be taken as ''I care so much about their opinions/fitting (or what they think of me) in that I will focus on my anger every single day, I cared about them too much and don't focus much on myself''? Ever heard of laughing? LOL stands for laughing out loud. You want to be mad, you can but then imagine something so ridiculously funny that you just start laughing too hard that more than likely you're forget about most of your troubles. Don't believe it, you can go to this link link removed Talks about laugher.. Link to comment
Thx Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I think my advice here would be: stop depending on others for your happiness. It's like climbing the greasy pole trying to please others sometimes and finding acceptance, reciprocation and dare I say love. You said you gave up interests, take 'em back up. Invest your time in yourself. (And to ENA, I think when the OP says "I hate you!" they are reffering to the world in general, so don't take it so personally.) Link to comment
Resolute Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Hey, Alldarkness, I don't know what happened to you to make you feel like this, but I would really like to learn and try to talk to you. Dont just brush me off, you can say no thanks, but i'm all ears about talking to you, I want to talk to you. Ill start it off, but please if you could, send me a message instead so we can talk in private - my name is Jeff, and im 18 Link to comment
trezz Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 it's all in the genes. this phrase is repeated.... wonder what it means? sometimes daddy kills mummy. i know a girl whose uncle killed her auntie. the daughter is in serious trouble...she cant get over being the daughter of a killer....... i am used to being wrong so if i am once again so what? nothing new. how are you today. i am thinking of sending you a pm but your inbox is properly too full to answer already..... my pm box has plenty of room...... Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Hi, Just wondering how you are doing today? Please let us know. We do care, we really do. Believe it or not, that's why we are here, that's why we want to help you feel better. The proof is within all of the responses to your original post...you've kind of ripped us all to shreds, but it's ok, we don't mind, we are still here and we are still wanting to help you. We won't go away and we won't let you down. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Step 1 : Admit you have a problem. I have a problem? You bet I have! And the world has a problem with me! Have you ever kissed a member of the opposite sex (I'm not sure if you are male or female)? Do you have a home? Have you ever in your life had a friend and lost them? You'll find that people on this site have suffered homelessness, losing children, losing friends, soulmates, losing jobs, going bankrupt, having the world turn on them too. It happens to alot of people. Bad things just keep happening and they pile one on top of another until you feel like you are suffocating. I've hit rock bottom. I may not have the exact same life as you, but I've been stomped on, kicked around, and I've had the whole freakin world hate me too. And during that time, I hated myself more. People here will listen if you let them. 1) No, girls despise me! 2) So much as you can call a home for a home... 3) Have a friend? No one ever wanted to call me a friend! I don't know whether people will listen or not. Most people pretends to listen, saying: "I want to listen to you" but their thoughts are: "What a pathetic loser but I don't want to hurt anyone" Maybe someone will truly listen on this site, maybe not... Oh, so you're middle eastern but live in America? Lots of middle eastern people live in america and still have friends. Unless you have given people reason to think you're a terrorist, then that is just their own stupidity, or that's not what they think. Do they think that for any reason? I really don't think the world hates you. Even idiotic people as a whole don't usually hate someone without a reason. I think you just are having a hard time making close friends and connecting to people. You are not a disgrace to society. What's going on with your family? I think you should get your interests back. You gave things up to try to fit in? I think if you start doing things you enjoy, it will make you happier, and when you are happy, it will attract people to you more. And if you're doing things you enjoy, you'll have the opportunity to meet more people that enjoy doing the same things as you. Life really is what you make it. Some struggle more than others and have a rougher time of it, but life can be almost anything you want it to be. Most things can be fixed or changed. If you try hard to be happy and you're genuinely making the effort and trying and it's still not working, you might be depressed and have a chemical imbalance in your brain, which can also be fixed. I am not from the middle east. I just look like one because of my mother. So they called me a terrorist because of my look. Beside that, I am not living in America. Oh yes, I am a disgrace. I don't do what society expect of me and therefore I don't deserve any help! A chemical imbalance in my brain? You suggest taking medicin? I'll die before that! I had one real relationship with a woman. Not exactly fitting in. And christmas baby here... so never really had a birthday party either. As for the rest of them, where did you learn how to spell if you never went to school? And earlier you said you did have a family. OP, my point is, everyone goes through hard times. When you think you're having a bad day, the truth is, there is someone out there who is having it 10 times worse than you. That's life. We can choose to be bitter about it or we can move on and make the best of things. Learned to spell? In school the teachers always gave me the lowest grades in any language! So they thought that if I didn't have talent for language maybe I had talent for math? BUT NO! I was equally bad at math and the like! I was a pathetic non-talented loser! And still is! If you're so worried about not fitting in, remember, it's the people that don't fit in that everyone else secretly looks up to. What kind of advice is that? That is certainly not true! You don't bully people you look up to unless you are mental retarded. Some of the biggest "losers" in high school turn out to be big winners in the end. Look at Bill Gates; He never really fit in at his school, and now he's stinking filthy rich and successful in life. It does get better in time. Trust me. Bill Gates was never a true loser because of his high intelligence. I am not cool but the worsed thing is that I am not even a geek or nerd!!!? I AM NOTHING!!! there's some AWESOME people on this site that would be more than willing to be your friend. Myself included. My name is Shelby. Yeah, you want to be my friend right now but then you discover how stupid I am. So why are you focusing on all the people that hated you and what they said/did to you??? It can be taken as ''I care so much about their opinions/fitting (or what they think of me) in that I will focus on my anger every single day, I cared about them too much and don't focus much on myself''? Ever heard of laughing? LOL stands for laughing out loud. You want to be mad, you can but then imagine something so ridiculously funny that you just start laughing too hard that more than likely you're forget about most of your troubles. Don't believe it, you can go to this link link removed Talks about laugher.. Laugh? Just laugh? Sounds silly... Hey, Alldarkness, I don't know what happened to you to make you feel like this, but I would really like to learn and try to talk to you. Dont just brush me off, you can say no thanks, but i'm all ears about talking to you, I want to talk to you. Ill start it off, but please if you could, send me a message instead so we can talk in private - my name is Jeff, and im 18 I don't know... it's all in the genes. this phrase is repeated.... wonder what it means? sometimes daddy kills mummy. i know a girl whose uncle killed her auntie. the daughter is in serious trouble...she cant get over being the daughter of a killer....... i am used to being wrong so if i am once again so what? nothing new. how are you today. i am thinking of sending you a pm but your inbox is properly too full to answer already..... my pm box has plenty of room...... I am horrible, thanks! Hi, Just wondering how you are doing today? Please let us know. We do care, we really do. Believe it or not, that's why we are here, that's why we want to help you feel better. The proof is within all of the responses to your original post...you've kind of ripped us all to shreds, but it's ok, we don't mind, we are still here and we are still wanting to help you. We won't go away and we won't let you down. Nobody cares if you don't tell them how you truly feels! I felt angry, frustrated, so I just told you my opinion. I posted on other sites. I told them in a nice way that I felt horrible and what happened? NOBODY RESPONDED!!! Maybe enotalone is different but I wouldn't take that chance beside I felt angry and frustrated. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I posted on other sites. I told them in a nice way that I felt horrible and what happened? NOBODY RESPONDED!!! Well as you can see this site is different so we hope you will stick around and we will try to help you as best we can. Link to comment
Amberelise Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Okay, so you've had a lot of failed attempts at making friends. We've all been there. I've had lots of failed attempts myself! Out of my current close friends, here is how I made them: Craigslist (Yup, they have a forum where you can search for friends! I have a really close friend that I met from her posting.) World of Warcraft (It's where I met my boyfriend.) link removed (I met one of my best friends on the St. Louis Cardinals board) Work (One of my closest friends is a co-worker) Childhood (I've held on to one childhood friend who is my other best friend.) Sisters & Mom (Believe me, that didn't happen until a few years ago, and I'm 29 now.) Speech Team (I did speech in high school, I still talk to all of my teammates to this day. Of course, Facebook really made that possible.) Softball (I signed up for my work softball team, I met lots of people) Friend of a Friend (The sister of my old roommate hangs out with me all the time. She's awesome!) Listen, when I moved to Chicago at the age of 23 I didn't have friends. My speech friends were spread all over the nation after high school and I hadn't kept in touch with them (Facebook wasn't as popular at the time.). None of my family lived here. My best friend had just met her now husband and wasn't making time for me. My co-workers were all two decades older than me. When my boyfriend at the time and I broke up, I felt really alone. One day a co-worker finally told me that she was in the same position as myself when she was my age and she just went out and made friends. She told me you just have to walk up to people and ask them to do something with you. She even said there was no shame in telling them that I didn't know many people to hang out with and that I'm lonely. So, I walked up to a girl on my soccer team and asked her to hang out over the weekend. She agreed. Then I called a co-worker that was my age and invited her out to dinner after work. She said yes! I kept pushing and inviting people to things. Eventually, when they were looking for someone to do something with, they started to think of me. It didn't happen immediately, and it took a lot of event planning on my part to begin, but it worked. I've had people actually comment to me that they wished they were as social as I am. It's hard to believe I used to sit at home every night and cry because I had no one to talk with. I hope that helps. All it took was my co-worker to sit me down and tell me to just start inviting people out. It's worth the effort. And, btw, I don't hang out with that soccer girl or co-worker anymore. We just didn't hit it off. But, I kept trying until I found people I did hit it off with. Good luck! Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Hi again, Alldarkness - Thanks for responding to our responses. I'm glad to see you are still reading what we have to say. Support has to start somewhere, right? Right! That's the awesome thing about this forum/website, the more you visit and search for different posts, the more you WANT to keep coming back for the support or to support others. heck, I have a blast in the "Off Topic" thread too! It makes me laugh on a daily basis. See, the thing is...eNA is not full of a bunch of losers or pathetic people (AND THAT INCLUDES YOU!) It's full of basically caring people that want to help each other. It's true! So I hope you do keep coming back and I hope you do keep "multi-quoting" all of our responses. No one hates you here, I promise you that. Maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone else...but I KNOW I don't hate you. One more thing. It's OK to be angry, it's OK to vent and get it all out in the open. As a matter of fact, what you are doing can be very therapeutic. It's better than holding it all in. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Well as you can see this site is different so we hope you will stick around and we will try to help you as best we can. I don't know whether you are different. You may respond because you don't have anything else to do. Okay, so you've had a lot of failed attempts at making friends. We've all been there. I've had lots of failed attempts myself! Out of my current close friends, here is how I made them: Craigslist (Yup, they have a forum where you can search for friends! I have a really close friend that I met from her posting.) World of Warcraft (It's where I met my boyfriend.) link removed (I met one of my best friends on the St. Louis Cardinals board) Work (One of my closest friends is a co-worker) Childhood (I've held on to one childhood friend who is my other best friend.) Sisters & Mom (Believe me, that didn't happen until a few years ago, and I'm 29 now.) Speech Team (I did speech in high school, I still talk to all of my teammates to this day. Of course, Facebook really made that possible.) Softball (I signed up for my work softball team, I met lots of people) Friend of a Friend (The sister of my old roommate hangs out with me all the time. She's awesome!) Listen, when I moved to Chicago at the age of 23 I didn't have friends. My speech friends were spread all over the nation after high school and I hadn't kept in touch with them (Facebook wasn't as popular at the time.). None of my family lived here. My best friend had just met her now husband and wasn't making time for me. My co-workers were all two decades older than me. When my boyfriend at the time and I broke up, I felt really alone. One day a co-worker finally told me that she was in the same position as myself when she was my age and she just went out and made friends. She told me you just have to walk up to people and ask them to do something with you. She even said there was no shame in telling them that I didn't know many people to hang out with and that I'm lonely. So, I walked up to a girl on my soccer team and asked her to hang out over the weekend. She agreed. Then I called a co-worker that was my age and invited her out to dinner after work. She said yes! I kept pushing and inviting people to things. Eventually, when they were looking for someone to do something with, they started to think of me. It didn't happen immediately, and it took a lot of event planning on my part to begin, but it worked. I've had people actually comment to me that they wished they were as social as I am. It's hard to believe I used to sit at home every night and cry because I had no one to talk with. I hope that helps. All it took was my co-worker to sit me down and tell me to just start inviting people out. It's worth the effort. And, btw, I don't hang out with that soccer girl or co-worker anymore. We just didn't hit it off. But, I kept trying until I found people I did hit it off with. Good luck! I don't have anyone to help me... Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I'm 99% sure you're not as stupid as you think you are, really..I enjoy listening. If you don't feel like talking openly about it on the forum, feel free to PM. I'm all ears. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I don't know whether you are different. You may respond because you don't have anything else to do. LOL. Well I guess I've had nothing better to do since I joined the site in 2004- OR maybe I really like to help people. Give me the benefit of the doubt. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I'm 99% sure you're not as stupid as you think you are, really..I enjoy listening. If you don't feel like talking openly about it on the forum, feel free to PM. I'm all ears. Ditto for me too AllDarkness...you can PM me anytime. I promise I will respond. Link to comment
avman Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 AllDarkness the moderators have cut you quite a bit of slack since you started posting because we felt you needed help. However, I will not allow you to continually insult and disrespect the members here going forward. If you would like help, you have received several offers from some of our finest members. However further posts that you make solely to insult people will be deleted. Reign in the attitude and I promise you'll find this a very enjoyable community. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 There are people that do care and do want to help, but you have to let them. Also, I hope we can get you to open up a bit, either in here or in pm. What is one interest you have...one that you gave up? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Chemical imbalance in the brain is a possibility, yes. I'm not qualified to make that diagnosis, but if you are trying your hardest to keep a positive attitude and be happy and it's not working, I am suggesting you see a doctor or counselor and get that ruled out. If they suggest taking pills, might not be a bad idea to give it a try. It doesn't make you crazy or a freak, it's actually pretty common and not your fault. First, I think you should do what I suggested and get back into your hobbies and things that make you happy. Do you mind me asking which country you live in? It might help if you write out a list of specific things you like and dislike about your life in general. On the list of tings you don't like, try to brainstorm ideas on how you can change those things. We can help you brainstorm if you would like. Link to comment
Amberelise Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I don't have anyone to help me... Well, now you do. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 There are people that do care and do want to help, but you have to let them. Also, I hope we can get you to open up a bit, either in here or in pm. What is one interest you have...one that you gave up? Kind of hard to pm since the pp have private messaging removed from his avatar and profile. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 Kind of hard to pm since the pp have private messaging removed from his avatar and profile. Hmmm...I PM'd him. Hope I didn't make him mad so he took it off his avy. I just told him I cared and I could offer an ear or a shoulder. I guess it's hard to help someone that doesn't want to be helped. Makes me sad. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 Hmmm...I PM'd him. Hope I didn't make him mad so he took it off his avy. I just told him I cared and I could offer an ear or a shoulder. I guess it's hard to help someone that doesn't want to be helped. Makes me sad. Yesterday I tried to PM him and I couldn't. I even clicked on his profile page to see if there was a link to PM him there too and there wasn't anything. I made a nice and long here in his thread. One thing I mentioned was that I hope he is not doing this for attention, since he was choosing not to reply to anyones replies. He didn't like the attention part one bit. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 ^That's weird. There's still a link for me. Link to comment
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