ayekasong Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 I don't know. Nothing makes any sense. Why am I here? I don't have anything! I have no talent, no skills, nothing! Life is not worth living when you have nothing and still everything.... I have been having this feeling a lot lately, too, so I can vouch for the fact that it is a normal feeling. It only means you're human. I think you are probably more talented than you believe you are. We are our own worst critics. There are periods of our lives that don't make sense. I know that right now, I feel like there are many aspects of my life that don't make sense. But I think that in time, some sense will come out of the chaos. I think as you keep talking this out, you'll start to see more sense in your life. And I think the reason you've succeeded in rounding up people who care is because many of us understand where you are coming from, and we want you to know that you're not alone. Sometimes, just knowing you're not alone is enough to help us out emotionally. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted October 6, 2009 Author Share Posted October 6, 2009 Well it's been 5 days since you posted and we are still here. You have some really great people here that want to help.... I'm willing to bet that in time, once you have reached out a bit more and talked with us and once you are feeling better, you will probably really enjoy helping others that come here feeling as you did as well. Perhaps...if I ever get that far... sweetie, sometimes people are upset and unhappy for so long that they don't know how to be anything else. even though they hate feeling that way, it's familiar and comfortable and can be a hard funk to get out of. we can try to help as much as possible, but you have to start taking steps to help yourself. do you honestly want to feel happy and peaceful? Why wouldn't I feel happy? Isn't that the essential of what it means to live? I just don't know how to go on when I have nothing. I have no talent, no skill, I am a hopeless individual. I can't see how I could change. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Perhaps...if I ever get that far... Why wouldn't I feel happy? Isn't that the essential of what it means to live? I just don't know how to go on when I have nothing. I have no talent, no skill, I am a hopeless individual. I can't see how I could change. what's stopping you from talking a little bit right now? I don't think any of us expect you to just let the flood gates open. Take baby steps and talk a little bit about something.. Link to comment
trezz Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 have a look at my sigs the first is a reminder to my self. the second is a question to my self to remind myself that I am the one responsible for how i feel. happiness does not come easily to everyone,some of us have to work on it. how would you answer the second question? the way i see it if you're awake enough to read the question your day isnt over yet...... Link to comment
Amberelise Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hey AllDarkness, how has your day been? Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I can't go on anymore. This day was horrible. I don't believe I can change because it demands something that I don't have. I don't understand how any of you would waste your time on me. You don't know me and I don't know you. I feel like there is two feelings inside of me. One who wants to believe that I can do it and the other who wants me to just give it up because it won't change anything anyway. I have never achieved anything in life. I don't remember any succes only all my failures. I hate myself again and I hate life again...!!! We obviously are not wasting our time. That's why we keep encouraging you to open up a little bit more. Fill us in on what is dragging you down so badly. The fact that we don't KNOW you is not a bad thing. We aren't here to judge you at all...merely to lend an ear and words of advice and encouragement...because you know what??? some of us might just have gone through some of the same things you are going through. And who better to give words of advice and encouragement than someone who does know exactly how you feel?? I promise you, no one here has any intention of deliberately hurting you. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Well it's been 5 days since you posted and we are still here. You have some really great people here that want to help.... I'm willing to bet that in time, once you have reached out a bit more and talked with us and once you are feeling better, you will probably really enjoy helping others that come here feeling as you did as well. Metro is exactly right!!! Most of us came here for help and advice and we stayed after we felt better to help others out that need it. It's a great forum!! It's almost like a second family. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Good morning AllDarkness..... Link to comment
Resolute Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I have to agree with Tech on this one, I came here and made an account specifically to help someone I knew I could, and it felt good helping, so I stayed. It does feel like a second family or someone I can talk to when I have a problem. Most of the people in my life aren't very willing to talk to me about some of my problems. ENA also helps you by giving you outside opinions and in certain cases, logic you may not be able to see in your time of distress. I'm still here for you, I've been really busy lately and I haven't had many opportunities to talk with you, but I'm trying to open up my schedule a little more for you. Link to comment
trezz Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 it's not possible for you to waste anyone's time. my time is mine,i choose how to spend it. sometimes i write very long threads and used to feel bad about people having to read so much,then i realised they dont HAVE to they choose to read them or not. in the same way i choose to read your thread. wondering why? i got a lot of help here at ena and i believe in balance...now that i'm in a better place i want to help others.......i choose to spend time to try to help you. my pm box is always open......... Link to comment
Odysseus Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 If some of this comes from an overall lack of trust in the people around you, the world...then I empathize. I feel this way sometimes too. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Hi AllDarkness....just checking in. Hope you come back soon! Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Hey kid....hope you're feeling a little better. Link to comment
jengh Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Coming into this late... but figure I'll give my two cents. I get it. I moved to a foreign country. I have no friends here, I'm retardedly lonely. When I say no friends, I mean zero. Not one. I have no drive or motivation to finish school. I'm depressed 90% of the time. Every day I question why the hell I'm here. Everything you've said I can pretty much relate to. I don't really like people as a whole. I'm losing my faith in humanity one person at a time. I've been suicidal more times than I can count. I've been institutionalized. I'm probably bat s*** crazy. I'm not overly intelligent. I have no real life skills or anything that makes me stand out. But you know what? Somehow I managed to find one person who loves me. All it takes is one. I thought I was unlovable too. My parents don't even like me. Seriously. I know you feel like you're totally alone in feeling this, but you're not. That probably doesn't offer any comfort to you but whatever. Just saying. If nothing else, people on this forum care. I've been here for 3 years now and the people who are posting are completely genuine when they say they're here for you. I'll vouch for them. They're amazing people. So you really don't have no one. Even if they're e-friends...they're still friends. One of my best friends in the whole world I met on this forum. Again, just saying. Link to comment
ayekasong Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Hi AllDarkness, I am wondering how you are doing today? Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Yeah! How are you doing today? Hope you're having a great day. Link to comment
hossman Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Hey Darkness On one hand you say all your problems are genetic and then you say you will refuse to take medications- in fact you would "die before you took them". It is in my freaking genes!! And yes something specific happen 19 years ago: I WAS BORN!! A chemical imbalance in my brain? You suggest taking medicin? I'll die before that! Well know this: - There are people in much worse shape than you that have been helped tremendously by taking meds - In more cases than not, the meds are for temporary use only, say 6 months to a year, rarely are they taken for more than a couple of years although in extreme cases some people are on them for many years. You complain about how bad you got it, and how it's the way you were born, and yet you refuse the only real cure that is possible if you're correct about why you are this way. See a doc, ask about meds, open your mind, and get yourself fixed. Or be miserable and blame the whole world for your problems for the rest of your life, however long that may be. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 Yeah, and maybe I should do something stupid before I die. Because I am obviously too stupid to get myself fixed, right? So maybe you are right. Maybe I should leave this freaking site anyway since it won't help me anyway due to my genes, only meds would do! And I don't hope I offended anyone by saying my honest opinion... Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 There you are! Glad to see you! Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Yeah, and maybe I should do something stupid before I die. Because I am obviously too stupid to get myself fixed, right? So maybe you are right. Maybe I should leave this freaking site anyway since it won't help me anyway due to my genes, only meds would do! And I don't hope I offended anyone by saying my honest opinion... Please don't leave. No one wants you to leave. Promise. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Yeah, and maybe I should do something stupid before I die. Because I am obviously too stupid to get myself fixed, right? So maybe you are right. Maybe I should leave this freaking site anyway since it won't help me anyway due to my genes, only meds would do! And I don't hope I offended anyone by saying my honest opinion... What do you mean by genes? Depression runs in your family? Link to comment
hossman Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Maybe I should leave this freaking site anyway since it won't help me anyway due to my genes, only meds would do! I didn't say meds are the ONLY treatment, my inference was that you need the meds in order to get better, however, they are not the entire story. The meds can put you back in balance, give you the ability to cope, and once you're more on an even keel and less emotional, other forms of treatment such as counseling and speaking to others on internet message boards can have more of a positive effect. I never suggested you were "stupid" for not considering medication, that's your word. I will suggest that those who are depressed and feel hopeless will outright reject the very treatment that might be their saving grace. Link to comment
ayekasong Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I hope you don't leave. We are all hoping to help you work through this. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I experienced pretty bad depression about 2 years ago. I reluctantly got on meds and into counseling. I was on the meds for one year, got to a place where I didn't need them anymore, and didn't need the counseling anymore. Getting professional help was the best thing I ever did. Getting help lasted a mere year but it has impacted my lifetime positively. It's OK to use a crutch if you are having a difficult time in your life right now, AllDarkness. Whether the causes are due to nature, nurture or a combination of both- anti-depressants combined with therapy are your best weapon against these dark, sad feelings. It's so hard to take that first step to seek help. By the time you realize you need help, you've hit bottom and all of your energy is drained and you are jaded from the depression. I think that is what is happening here. Yeah, and maybe I should do something stupid before I die. Because I am obviously too stupid to get myself fixed, right? So maybe you are right. Maybe I should leave this freaking site anyway since it won't help me anyway due to my genes, only meds would do! And I don't hope I offended anyone by saying my honest opinion... You have to gather what is left of your inner strength and take that important step to seek help. You have nothing to lose by trying a different approach. Link to comment
Resolute Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I agree with BellaDonna, you have nothing to lose in all reality. You are simple not enjoying life. You've hit rock bottom and the only way to go is up. I urge you to try everything you can to be happier. Many people go through depression, maybe not as severely as you. Treatment for depression, such as medications, are there to make you feel better. There is no shame in taking medication, just picture this. You are at the bottom of a pit, quite literally, and the medication are spikes you can attach to your shoes. Therapy and counseling are the ropes that are thrown down. They are there, waiting for you, all you have to do is attach the spikes, and climb the ropes. I hope everything is going well for you today, I haven't heard from you in a bit. Please remember you have many people here who are only trying to see you happier. Please do not leave. Link to comment
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