ayekasong Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 No, and why would I go to college?! I don't have anything to live for anyway...so why waste time with more people who only wants to hurt me? I mean, in High School the teachers come from universities. And those a-holes only hate me and suspected me of doing all sort of weirdo things. College is probably just the same as High School...just on a higher educationel level. As Scorpion Fury already said, college is pretty different from high school. Another great thing about college is that there is a niche for everyone, so you don't have to go anywhere near people that would treat you terribly. You also have the option of online classes - you wouldn't have to deal with people in that type of a class. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 As Scorpion Fury already said, college is pretty different from high school. Another great thing about college is that there is a niche for everyone, so you don't have to go anywhere near people that would treat you terribly. You also have the option of online classes - you wouldn't have to deal with people in that type of a class. Right, but I think it might do the OP some good to be in a social environment with others and maybe make some friends and see that not all people are horrible. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 yo yo yo....I don't usually log on from home, but I was thinking of you and wanted to see if you're starting to feel better...how was your day? Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted November 26, 2009 Author Share Posted November 26, 2009 Feeling okay today... Maybe college is different...I don't know...I have this strange feeling that nothing would change. Maybe they are more mature but that is because they have experienced things that made them mature and because of that maybe they will look down upon people like me... Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 My college years were definitely some of the best years of my life. High school, on the other hand, was TERRIBLE. I hated it. College is definitely a totally different experience with far more diverse people to connect with, and there is a level of maturity among students and instructors that you don't see in high school. I personally felt I could be myself more there. I am glad that you are feeling a little better today, AllDarkness. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Happy Thanksgiving AllDarkness. Good to see you here today. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted November 27, 2009 Author Share Posted November 27, 2009 Why is college so different? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Why is college so different? Hey there, glad you are starting to feel a little better. College is different because for one, you're an adult in college, and you're treated like one. No teachers calling your parents, or getting in trouble for not doing your work or paying attention in class, etc. College is very social. Many people meet their lifelong best friends in college. There are sooo many clubs or groups to join for just about any interest. College would probably be the easiest way for you to make some friends and see that not everyone in the world is horrible. College is so diverse that you will likely be able to find people with a lot of the same and similar interests as you. There aren't all of the cliques in college that there are in high school. Like some of the others mentioned. Basically everything FarthestEdge just said too. And like it was already suggested, do you live near a college? Could you maybe go there and walk around and just see what the atmosphere is like? Also, you can pm me anytime you want to and I promise I will never repeat anything you don't want me to. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Feeling okay today... Maybe college is different...I don't know...I have this strange feeling that nothing would change. Maybe they are more mature but that is because they have experienced things that made them mature and because of that maybe they will look down upon people like me... Why do you think they would look down on you? Many of them have been right where you are. Sad, angry, depressed, lost, unsure which direction to take in life. You're an intelligent guy with a good heart. Nothing to look down upon. Also, everyone in the world has people that don't like them, guaranteed. It doesn't matter how beautiful, funny, smart, rich, nice, sweet, cool or how anything ANYONE is. There will always be some people in the world that don't think so. Just the way it is. You can't make everyone like you, and you shouldn't care to make every person like you. As you open up more and become more social, you will see that some people matter to you, and others don't. It will be up to you to decide who matters and who doesn't. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted November 29, 2009 Author Share Posted November 29, 2009 So...even with all these "good" things how comes that there are people who starts shooting at Universities? I mean, it is supposed to be the easiest place to get friends...but there are still some who doesn't get any? There are a lot of reasons to why people would dislike me. And even when you people tell me that looking down on people is immature, then tell me why everyone does it anyway? People always look for mistakes in other people that they can prey on at the right time. I know that it is impossible to please everyone. But is it too much to ask for one friend?? I guess it is... Anyway, I wonder whether material happiness would be better for me...? A bit silly...everyone says: "No, it is not true happiness and bla bla..." But when you feel everything else has failed? I guess there is a college not far away from where I live...I could check it out tomorrow... Link to comment
ayekasong Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Unfortunately there are people who shoot up places - not just universities, though. They are everywhere, and many of them do have friends, spouses, and even children. I don't know why they do that or what drives them to do it. Perhaps some sort of deep-rooted emotional issues that make them think it is okay to hurt someone. I'm not well versed on psychology, so I really have no idea. However, finding friends in college is not too difficult, as other posters have mentioned. I think you'll be surprised at how many people you befriend. You're right, people do look down on others, despite the fact that it is immature. It sounds cliche, but I really think the reason people do this is to make themselves feel better about who they are. Looking down on others really showcases someone's insecurity. To be honest, people who make a habit of looking down on others seem to be the people with the fewest friends and the least happy lives - at least in my experience. It's not too much to ask for one friend. And I don't think material happiness is necessarily a bad thing. Even though it isn't "true" happiness, getting something you like or collecting items can make you happy for a little while, and sometimes we all need these little "pick-me-ups" to get us through tough times. Just be careful not to go overboard and define all of your happiness in "things." I think checking out that college near you is a great idea! Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Ditto to ayekasong's post. Read that twice. And about material happiness, when I'm having a bad day and am mildly upset about something, I do tend to spend money. It does cheer me up and make me feel better to buy myself some new stuff, until the novelty wears off, but usually by then I'm not upset anymore. When you are depressed and upset most of the time, material wealth isn't going to fix that. Shopping can be a quick pick me up, not a substitute for long term happiness. It just doesn't work. Link to comment
Gladiatus Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Hell, This is great! Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 So what was I suppose to see? People being social? From what I saw at the college I visited...nobody really talked to each other. So maybe you are right...people don't really care about what other people do at college? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 So what was I suppose to see? People being social? From what I saw at the college I visited...nobody really talked to each other. So maybe you are right...people don't really care about what other people do at college? Pretty much, but what did you see? Adults walking to and from places? And not the usual high school cliques standing around sneering at each other, right? Did you say hello or talk to anyone? Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Pretty much, but what did you see? Adults walking to and from places? And not the usual high school cliques standing around sneering at each other, right? Did you say hello or talk to anyone? I must admit, there wasn't any people running around screaming and the different groups of people I saw in High School was not apparent...and no there wasn't anyone sneering at each other...not that day... It was...just a bunch of "adults" wandering around minding there own bussiness though this is of course only a surface view... No, I didn't say hello or anything. Wouldn't that be strange? Some weirdo stranger suddenly wandering around the area say hello to people?? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Agree completely. Have you thought about what you want to do for a career? Does any subject interest you more than the others? And I know you can name some good qualities about yourself. For starters, you have a really good heart. And you're obviously intelligent, being accepted to that high school in the first place, and reading, writing and spelling in English so perfectly. I would have never known English was not your first language if you had not told us. You seem more intelligent and articulate than many people that ONLY speak English. So let's here some more. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 Funny...last day after the visit went over a bridge seing the sun going down in the horizon turning the water orange. And át that very moment, I wanted to jump. Seing such a beautiful thing and then disappear into it...I was ready to do it. I can't swim so I would drown and make an end to everything. Such a beautiful way to die, with the orange sun in your back... Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Funny...last day after the visit went over a bridge seing the sun going down in the horizon turning the water orange. And át that very moment, I wanted to jump. Seing such a beautiful thing and then disappear into it...I was ready to do it. I can't swim so I would drown and make an end to everything. Such a beautiful way to die, with the orange sun in your back... I think that would suck. Why don't you tell us a little more about what's on your mind? Link to comment
siddalee Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I think you need to see a therapist. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 What would you want to study at college? Also keep in mind the electives you can take...you can learn about things that may interest you that you have no interest in pursuing career wise. Did you look into what kinda of groups/clubs/etc they have? Any that might interest you? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Funny...last day after the visit went over a bridge seing the sun going down in the horizon turning the water orange. And át that very moment, I wanted to jump. Seing such a beautiful thing and then disappear into it...I was ready to do it. I can't swim so I would drown and make an end to everything. Such a beautiful way to die, with the orange sun in your back... AllDarkness, I am sorry that you had a moment like that. I can tell you with certainty- that there is nothing beautiful about drowning. It is one of the worst deaths imaginable, because of the process of oxygen loss. No suicide is beautiful. What is beautiful is to be alive to see the sights of nature- to lay on a beach with the sun on your back, taking in the fresh air. You're not thinking that way though because the illness of depression has you in it's grip. It's clouding your perception. When you get those thoguhts, realize that it is the depression talking, and not the reality of the situation. Have you ever seen this thread on enotalone: ? Post #11 might be helpful Link to comment
doityourself Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 AllDarkness- Thinking about you and glad to see your feeling better. I agree with everyone, start out with 1-2 classes and see what you think. It is so differant from high-school. My opinion in high-school you worry alot about fitting in being in the click. But in college there is no click (not that I seen in the 2 years I went) This would be great for you, maybe some writing classes. Link to comment
AllDarkness Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 I didn't expect anyone to understand me. Even if college is a fresh start sooner or later people will rip in your past to find out who you are and when that time comes they will stay away from me. The only thing I can tell is: "Oh you know, I stole and lied, and I was the greates loser in school. I had no friends and I am a weirdo." Oh yeah, they are certainly going to love me! Beside that, since I have never had any friend, why would I get one in college? Without any "friend experience" how would I know what being a friend means...? I know, that sounds weird but it is the truth! No, I don't think much would change... Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I know a lot of people who completely changed who they were when they got to college. Shy people who didn't have many friends and didn't seem to like anything turned into some of the most outgoing people. You can do it too, if you want to. Link to comment
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