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I hope you get STD lol

 

Joking, I don't want to be mean, but you were so mean to my love. I picked you up from depression, and now you pushed me away.

 

You were the one who was counting the number of days that we have been together. I can't bare to count it now.

 

It must be over 1250 days.... and you left me within 10 days of knowing that guy.

 

Thank You for throwing my self-esteem away.

 

But I will be back !

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It hurts my heart so bad when you said that I was just using you. I guess I should have seen that coming. Breaking up 4 times within the period of our relationship was toxic enough. I was letting you to STEP all over me and treat me like a bi***. Even though it is 100% clear that you are wrong (e.g. one time you promised to go home together but boom all of a sudden you cancelled the plan, and went home with a "friend". Didn't even answer my call); when I tried to confront it, you will scold me back and in the end I will just apologize even though it was not my fault. It's ok, I learnt something from the relationship. Do not ever let a girl step on me and treat me like a bi****. The logical action that I should have done was to STAND for myself but I did not, because why? Because I feared of facing through a break up (you were my first girlfriend). Not anymore. Now I learn that in life, going through break up is an obstacle that I need to learn to go through. So for the next relationship, I will never EVER let my partner just step on me when they make a mistake and just get away with it scot-free.

 

Yeah I saw someone dropped you in the lobby at the office this morning. We just broke up 5 days ago and so fast, there is another guy already with you? Heh, you must have been talking to him behind my back when we were together. It's fine. Go with him, if that's your standards. I won't judge.

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I miss you. You haunt me every moment you get a chance. It sucks to not be able to talk to you and see you. For someone who once claimed he loved me, it was so easy for you to walk away? How could it be so easy for you to turn your back on us? What did I do wrong? Was your love for me a lie? Did you trick me to fall in love with you so that you could break my heart?

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Thank you for the great lessons you have taught me and for letting me meet you and your family. While the relationship and situation we were in was very toxic, I appreciate the good and bad times we had. It was so much torture having to feel like the therapist, and feeling used for my money, and basically feeling like a dad more than a boyfriend. I knew that it wasn't good at all to stay with you, but I did, just for the sake of "not being alone". I let you take advantage of my generosity and my big heart to care for you while I didn't get much in return. Thank you for helping me become an even stronger person and what to do to improve in my next relationship and helping me realize what I shouldn't look for in a partner and to set my proper boundaries. You are blessed to have a truly amazing family and parents and I will miss them dearly. You are a teacher and honestly helped me to not become too attached or dependent in a relationship and help me focus on my proper identity outside of a relationship. I know now there is so much to look forward to in life.

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I miss you a little today. It's hard. I wish your assistant didn't contact me. I still know this breakup is best for both of us , but it's making me feel bad about myself because of how badly you treated me. I know u are sitting there thinking the same thing , but I've never let anyone cross the lines w me that u did and I'm not only mad at myself but embarrassed in the situation . I dk how I let this happen to me. I have no problems sending her pics for social media bc I'm happy w ur work the work isn't the problem, I just hate that it makes me think of u and is she showing u? Is she talking about me to you? I doubt she is this is probably just routine standard follow up, but it doesn't make me not think about it bc it's personal to me. Even tho I know it's not to you

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I hate you. Hate hate hate you. You're vile for what you did. The success you coasted off of me, the treasured friends, organizations, and groups you stole. The fact that, despite that, I can't let go because our relationship was what I wanted. I never had the chance to have the unfettered space that I needed to realize that, because you muttled everything with your vindictive actions post-BU. I can't let go because you made me feel it's my fault for leaving you. WELL, it's your fault for sleeping with my close friend and colleague. It's your fault for giving up on us with your vindication. Your fault for not giving me the space I asked for, and coming to all my organization's events so I couldn't enjoy them. Your fault for talking to my friends, so I couldn't just have my own support system. Not mine for needing space to figure things out. That's a load of bull what you did, that two years down the line I'm not over us, and I bet your smug little mind thinks you were totally justified. I hate you, and I hate that I cannot bring myself to utter any of these mean words to you. I'm too polite in real life, and enotalone is the only place I can say this. Go to hell. I hate you, and I wish somehow I could be doing better than you. You don't deserve how well you are doing.

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I can't believe you used me for so long, when you knew I loved you I can't believe I was stupid enough to let you use me. I know you're going through a hard time, but to have me in your bed while texting your other girl on the side after you told me it was just me...and I know she's been sleeping around.I apologized for everything, and you have apologized for nothing, only saying it's all in my head and you never used me, never kept me a secret...but you did.

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I was happy before I met you, happy being single. Why did you have to come and let me feel all these amazing things with you, and you weren't ready? Why did you have to ruin me? Make me feel hopeful that I finally had someone who is going to be my forever. Then walk away and leave. You should have just left me alone, just figured your out instead of making me fall in love with you just to break my heart.

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I love you, but you're a little bish. I am better off being alone, since being with you doesn't make me any happier. Or should I say, you just make it worse. Your ambiguity, your need to hurt me when I unintentionally hurt you is pretty fked up. The way you manipulated my feelings post-breakup, nah ah, not going through that anymore. When I unfollowed you to get some head space, and you blocked me in retaliation? Wow, well played; yeah sure my actions don't affect you in any way. So what if we are best of friends for a long time, I don't need this toxicity in my life. Everyone is selfish but damn, are you that afraid of getting hurt that you don't mind slicing someone open to 'defend' yourself?

 

Whew, thank god I got this all out. But in hindsight, thanks for leaving me. I really do deserve someone better; someone who dares to take the leap of faith with me, someone who isn't stingy when it comes to giving, someone who is more self-aware. In short, someone that isn't you.

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I still can't believe I managed to ruin us this badly. The damage I have done seems beyond repair. I hope that time heals this. The thing is that I still have so much love for you. It feels so artificial to leave you be. I want to fight for us. I want to start over fresh. I know we can make it work. Sadly it takes two to tango and you grew out of your dancing shoes.

 

We were so close, best friends. It was us against the universe. Then life had its way with me. I was unprepared and got lost in worldly endeavors, leaving you behind. You were lonely. You were hurting. You reached out to me so many times but I wasn't there anymore. I was too far in cloud nine to notice you. I'm sorry for that. My heart throbs with an aching pain when I think about this. I am too familiar with the pain of loneliness now. I would never want anyone to feel this, especially not you, darling. I'm so sorry. I became a selfish, complacent monster that you couldn't love anymore. I understand this so I respect you decision.

 

We are still young. I'm not done growing, my Love. I'm still growing into your man. Please wait for me. Experience life on your own but lets meet up in a little. Please. I miss you.

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Despite what's happened, I gotta say I'm pretty thankful I got to meet you.

Having that process of falling in love (I def wasn't in love with you yet) showed me it was possible to love after B. I do think I am over B, and I guess you helped me get over him. I really wish we could have worked out. You made my heart light up and you were very different from him. I never felt judged, or belittled...Thus I learnt to relax.

I am hopeful for what the future brings.

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