esm12

It's been two months no contact and I'm not sure why I'm still struggling.I would never want you back, especially when I found you had a girlfriend while trying to be physical with me. I've gone on dates but for some reason you're always still at the back of my mind. I know I miss what could have been..not you, and I would never want to get back with you. I just want answers, but that's never going to come. I just don't get why you with other girls makes me so upset, even though I know how awful you are.

You used the fact that I had feelings for you to get me whenever you wanted. Even when you had feelings for this girl...asking her to stay in your hotel room, telling her how hard it was to see her with someone else, you came right back to me when that did't work out, just to use me again and again. and that is not cool

I can't believe you used me for so long, and because your other relationships you wanted just didn't work out. For so long you told me you didn't want a relationship with anyone and I waited to change your mind, but you were talking to one of my good friends.

All my friends are hanging out with their boyfriend's, you're hanging out with your girlfriend and I'm sitting here on a friday night...lonely.

I can't believe you used me for so long, when you knew I loved you I can't believe I was stupid enough to let you use me. I know you're going through a hard time, but to have me in your bed while texting your other girl on the side after you told me it was just me...and I know she's been sleeping around.I apologized for everything, and you have apologized for nothing, only saying it's all in my head and you never used me, never kept me a secret...but you did.

It's been two weeks...we've done this so much before, breaking up and not contacting each other to get sucked back in a month later. This time is different though. This time, I won't let you come back in to use and abuse me like you have for the last two years, if you do contact me. You already have another girlfriend, after trying to get me to hook up with you 2 weeks ago and telling me I wasn't pretty enough to be your girlfriend...but I was pretty enough to be your hookup for 2 years. I so badly want you to know all the pain you've caused and how I just had a breakdown while you already have a new girlfriend...but I have to be strong and move on.