downright

I love you, but you're a little bish. I am better off being alone, since being with you doesn't make me any happier. Or should I say, you just make it worse. Your ambiguity, your need to hurt me when I unintentionally hurt you is pretty fked up. The way you manipulated my feelings post-breakup, nah ah, not going through that anymore. When I unfollowed you to get some head space, and you blocked me in retaliation? Wow, well played; yeah sure my actions don't affect you in any way. So what if we are best of friends for a long time, I don't need this toxicity in my life. Everyone is selfish but damn, are you that afraid of getting hurt that you don't mind slicing someone open to 'defend' yourself? Whew, thank god I got this all out. But in hindsight, thanks for leaving me. I really do deserve someone better; someone who dares to take the leap of faith with me, someone who isn't stingy when it comes to giving, someone who is more self-aware. In short, someone that isn't you.

This forum helped me through my break-up, so I am here giving back. I got sorta back with my ex, we are dating but not in a relationship. We are taking things slow right now and going to see how things go from this point on. There was no cheating involved, she just wasn't happy with me anymore. When she dumped me, I did the classic post-breakup behaviours: begging, telling her how much I love her. Whenever she responded, she was either cruel or cold. It was that point that I decided that I deserved to be treated better than that. Cut off all contacts for bout 2 months, enjoyed time alone, reclaimed my identity and then one day I got drunk and texted her. That was how we started talking again. One key point was that whenever we texted (sober), we never once mentioned or discussed why we didn't work out or if we liked each other still. I know I do, but I didn't want to question her. Because so what if she still likes me, we were done and I didn't know if I wanted to get back with her even if I had the chance to. We just enjoyed each other's company and I didn't close off the possibility of us getting back together, neither was I overly enthusiastic. I knew there was a chance that we will not get back together again but I was okay with it. To all the people out there trying to get your ex back, it takes time. Don't rush it, don't let your emotions take away your dignity. Once enough time has passed to get your brains back, follow whatever feels right for you.

quit giving me breadcrumbs. Yeah I know I contacted you first when I wasn't sober, but quit getting my hopes up by asking me to hang out when the conversation is going good. I mean I know, you're just keeping me on the end of your line. And I know, I am encouraging this. But I decided this 'weird' state isn't doing it for me anymore. So I deleted your number off my phone and you know, moving on slowly so just do you and don't initiate contact. I think we will have a better time that way.

Broke contact on day 50ish. Now I am back to Day 1. Damn it. Tips for everyone, don't get too drunk that you call them by mistake. Wish I hadn't done it.