Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[IAmFCA]

This is annoying. I don't know what I think this is, but I don't like it. It is bugging the crap out of me.

 

And so, I will again put it away.

[periwinkle00]

I take the risk of you deleting me from facebook. I am over-exaggerating, but I posted a song using spoken word, and at the end it mentions "joe foaming at the mouth"..Yes, it is angry, but I think the rest of the piece rounds itself off well, claiming the importance of friends.

 

I took a shower, and I do my best thinking in there. I thought about how I want you to like me still, and then I thought, it honestly doesn't matter if you like me or not. In fact, it's good, if you see yourself as "Joe". You have triggered so much anger in me, and honestly, I have thought about doing horrible things to you. I wouldn't wish those things on you in reality, but I definitely have the rage that pictures those things.

 

Worst case scenario, if you blocked me, it would be a good thing, because I don't want you in my life anyway, not like this. Best you know the truth. Hell, you may not even take the piece personally. I wasn't thinking about you when I posted it. I thought it was an empowering work of art. That's why I posted it. The general tone is not about one man in particular.

 

It's gotten to a point where I sort of want you to push me out of my life, because it doesn't seem to work when I try to do it to you.

[MMT]

Honey I miss you...how are you? how do you feel without me? do you remember me? do you miss me?

[IAmFCA]

ok, hold up. you lied to the woman you were seeing, used her car, worked out in the park, took us to lunch, then brought her car back?

 

um, really dude?

 

and I still want to be friends with you? I still want to date you, maybe?

 

yeah, let's see some honesty for a bit. let's see some emotional risk, and maybe, no narcissism?

 

I don't know, but you seem pretty fd up to me.

[iamstrong]

SM: it was lovely to have you ring me up: the conversation was less lovely. You are out and about and met someone and plan on returning to the pub so you can shag her at your hotel? Yes? And I am suppose to admire your honesty: yes?

 

All I want is a man: not a boy. You remind me of Ian.

[iamstrong]

I can't sleep now: that has been ruined by what you told me. I have a girl mate here on ENA and she has a friend who is in the middle of the devistation in the Philippines: he doesn't appear to be in the military or volly for any humanitarian group: he went there because he thought he could help: he is recovering from a serious medical issue: he went there to help: he didn't mention this medical issue when asked upon: he went there to help:

 

Years ago a singer by the name of Paula Cole asked in verse: where have all the cowboys gone: this ENA's mate went to the Philippines: he went there to help. He will probably come home a little bit stronger and wiser and more grounded from the experience: I know I pray for this chap as does my ENA mates.

 

You SM called to mention that you were thinking about shagging someone: what is wrong with men?

 

I might well get up and figure out my day after a while.

[IAmFCA]

you know how it takes one to know one?

 

b had never targeted others. but you... maybe he was right, player meets a player and from his view is protecting his prey

 

others who seem more ltr-oriented, they do not bother him.

 

I think I get it. you're not him, not even months from now. I am still seeing if i find him.

 

do I have anything to say to you? here I am, but no, not so much.

[iamstrong]

SM: you had a grand time today: yes?

[kz91]

You're telling me what you had to go through the past ten months and I'm just keeping quiet.

 

I know you've been through a lot and believe it or not it hurts me knowing you went through so much but what about what I had to go through?

 

You made my life a living hell, everyday was torture for me. Getting out of bed was something I couldn't do because of the pain I was in. I wanted to kill myself because of what you did, I was really really hurting. You broke my heart into tiny pieces and then you broke me.

 

You went through a lot but you have NO idea what I went through.

[iamstrong]

SM: it is too late in the night to concern myself with you flopping around: but it is just in time for me to appreciate that I didn't fall prey to you. You are nothing better than Ian: yes? You decided not to want to be a concerned friend to me: yes?

 

Better still: I found out your true self before it was too late: I am not really sure I even want to go pubbing to with you right now.

 

I began to miss you: we hadn't talked in a while: My holiday: your business trip: now I am glad we didn't speak. I missed you in a horrid way: I was thrilled to hear from you: you dropped that bombshell on me: It could/ should have swung another door: it didn't: because you are a shagger. No better tan Ian: possibly worse: at least he made his shagging known to me. He didn't ever lie about it. You kept it a secret: I don't know if I can forgive: yes: yes, I can: it will just take a tremenous amount of time.

[Hazyillusions]

Hope your life's going well.

Two days ago, after work I happened to be sitting at the bus stop when this tall guy with ashy dark blonde hair passed me.

He really reminded me of you. Wish I could get you out of my head. I miss you E. =(

[firefly2613]

Remember that girl I met awhile ago? The one I told you about that came to my meeting?.

 

Yeah, well I think she likes me.

 

And I like her too.

[Hazyillusions]

Do you recall, how you'd always made me want to be better? Well I quit my job a week ago, and in the space of a week I've found myself a much better position. Now I'm still waiting for what happens with another position- if I can get an offer for that, I'll be over the moon.

 

Thank you E, thanks for pushing me-it's done me a lot of good.

[lioness726]

W-

 

It's been a little over 8 weeks since I've last seen or talked to you. I can't believe it's been that long. You're starting to become just a sad memory. But I know that if I saw you or heard your voice, my heart would start pounding, I'd get all sweaty, and I'd probably become shaky. And because I KNOW that, I'm still so far away from being over you. I miss you, of course. I miss hearing you call me baby, babe, honey, all of that. It had been years since someone before you called me those things. It gave me butterflies in my tummy when you would.

 

But I'm also pissed at you. Looking back, you were so completely selfish. Did you ever REALLY think of me at all? I know there were a few times in the very beginning. But then, there were times that I was being really sweet to you and you'd snap at me or be an a**hole. I remember friends around would notice it and kind of give me a look of, "w-t-f is his problem?" Yeah, you had to know that wasn't cool at all. And the thing is, I never did anything to deserve that. I never even yelled at you for your treatment of me. My mistake- I really should have. Maybe you would have respected me more.

 

So I'm home alone on a Saturday night. I really don't mind. I went out last night and the two nights before, so I'm ok. I have a very healthy social life (even for a girl with a broken foot). I also don't really get sad at seeing all my friends on Facebook getting married anymore. I thought about it more when I was with you because I felt societal pressure. I mean, I HAD the boyfriend already so it made me wonder where we were going and what your goals were. Even though I sometimes regret having that conversation with you, I'm glad I did so I didn't waste anymore of my time. I was already in love with you. I would have waited, if you had asked. But you told me you didn't think you'd ever feel that way. That's some harsh news to hear. I mean... OUCH.

 

I notice that you're really not much on Facebook anymore. Is it because I haven't posted anything terribly interesting for you? Or maybe you don't like seeing all my fun exploits. I clearly am not sad on there. And, in all honesty, I'm not sad when I'm out and about. A huge part of me wishes I never dated you. I wish I cut you off last year when I was going to. But of course, my friend said that I was being silly and to give it a try. F*** that! I'm not listening to anyone else now. I need to listen to my gut.

 

Speaking of that, I sort of made the mistake of hooking up with a friend. And more than once. There's always been something between us- I've always had a bit of a crush on him- but I also feel so damn superficial. He's a little on the heavier side and he has tons of tattoos and piercings. He's not unattractive by any means- but again, I feel so damn superficial. My parents would also kill me because of the tattoos and piercings. Thing is though, he's an extremely good guy. We get along really well and he's a total sweetheart. He makes me feel so amazing about myself- something I feel that you only scratched the surface of doing.

 

Problem is, I'm worried I'm using him to get over you and I'm terrified of hurting him. I have known him for about 9 years and I'm scared of hurting our friendship. I know the right answer here would be to stop, but I just can't help it. I want to hang out with him and then one thing leads to another. It just keeps happening and it feels so good in the moment. Later, I freak because I don't want to hurt him. I can't be with anyone right now thanks to you. But another reason I feel this way is because of my superficial ones, which makes me feel like such a horrible person.

 

Dear god, have I turned into you? This is kind of what you did to me. I don't wish this upon anyone. Ugh. I hate you for this.

[iamstrong]

SM: Two years ago: to the week: I was the one who sat with you are you were balled in a fetal position in the loo. You were heartbroken over the break-up with your LTR.

 

Over the course of six monts: you found your footing: you left me not only as a dating partner: but as a friend. Your friends said I was a notion of the past: the bad things that happened to you. and you LISTENED to them! You didn't care what effect your walking away from our friendship would have on me: yes? You used me worse than any chippie used you.

 

We became friends: but now you have found shagging is fun: and you once again trot away from me: as a friend: yes?

 

I was the one there for you SM: the only one who stood on your ground and helped you find your footing: and this is how you repay me?

 

FRIG OFF YOU!

 

You are interested in yourself: yes? No one else besides you and the birds that show an interest in you. I can not: nor would I ever think I will be able to be a connection to you. Kick a dog often enough and the dog will either run or bite. You are not worth biting.

[micro]

Today was a tough day. I missed you very much. I must say that all this time inside me there was a hope that you will come back. I had reasons to think that you are not in relationship as you had said. These reasons were feeding my hope.

I don't know why, but I think that I'm starting to believe that you will never come back...even never to contact me.

I just couldn't not believe that you have moved so fast. I thought that your love was stronger....

Today I read an article on differences between women and men in the process of moving on.

I am starting to understand now that you have forgotten me long time ago...and I'm still stuck....

Its so sad...we could have been a great team....team lot of people would envy....

[micro]

...I have had negotiations for a new job last week. I don't know if i should accept new job. I felt need to talk to you on this subject, to have your opinion and advice....but you are not here with me anymore...

[IAmFCA]

Does it. even occur to you that I may be judging you? does it occur to you that I have seen you treat other women loosely? Why would I expect you to treat me any better? And even if you did, how strong are you if you have agreed to live a life of deceit? Ok life of deceit is an exaggeration.

 

But you need not hide for anyone. why would you?

 

For such a strong man, that's weak.

[periwinkle00]

Again, I speak of you liking my facebook posts. I get false hope that you want to get back together. I know you don't. I can hear it in your voice. I've practically spelled it out for you...I asked you if you did want to get back together again.

 

I feel like I need to let you leave me on your own. You don't want to be with me, but you are hanging on. I must be hanging on too, because I am letting you hang on to me.

I could just see myself giving in and looking at your facebook profile, and then seeing that you are interacting with hot womenm (hypothetically). I know that you are looking to be with other people. I can't wrap my head around the idea that you would still risk looking at my profile. Maybe you don't, and you just look at the feed, still, you could see something you don't want to see. I don't understand how you would continue to like my posts, when you don't want to actually be my boyfriend, and are looking to be with someone else. It just baffles me. Maybe it's just the general difference in male and female brains. I just cannot comprehend what you are doing.

[jane4221]

I miss you. I wish you would explain to me why you left. If I try and speak to you you send such cold and horrible texts. I feel like you died. the day before you left you loved and adored me, you then the next you took off in the night leaving me and separating our children and leaving us with no place to live. Please call me today and tell me you´ve made a terrible mistake. I feel so alone, like my other half is gone and I am just blowing in the breeze. What did I do? I am so confused my darling.

[Shainet]

Hi. How are u?

That's great. Im doing good. Sad but moving on.

I just want us to talk about what happened. Dont worry, i wont beg anymore. Just really want closure. That's all.

You know our fight is totally fixable right? It's very shallow. I just want to know why you really gave up. Im just curious. That's all.

I keep on thinking that maybe you found someone else that's why you suddenly just dumped me. No worries. You can be honest with me. Im totally okay now. Ill get over it. I just really want to know the truth so i wont feel like hanging here.

I see. Okay. But we can totally try again you know. After days apart, i think we have made some changes on ourselves. I really want us to work this out. I know i have other guys waiting for me, but it's you that i want. I know you, ive seen everything avout you. And you totally know me. I just dont want to do it and start over with another guy. I think what we have is special. If only you give us another try.

 

I need you to calm down and think about. Just open your mind and heart. I feel like you're just too adamant in your decision that you fail see the bigger picture. We can totally work this out. You were happy with me, and im happy with you. Let's just be happy together again. Let's continue on with our plans. Dont you want to live a life full of happiness. You said you started smoking again and playing your online game. Why dont you choose us and be good and healthy, rather than leave me and destroy yourself again.

 

I never cheated you, i was very faithful. I always tell you about guys who text me. Please, just think about it okay. Give us another chance. I still want you and love.

[IAmFCA]

You -- I imagine you thinking you can judge me. I am annoyed about that. I imagine that because I find I am judging you. For me, it leads to questions: is this who you are or are you passing through a phase? Who are you?

 

I will say nothing. You owe me contact. I do not like having you in debt to me, because I do not expect you to pay. But if I decide you will not pay, that I will never hear from you again, then I am writing you off.

 

Sticking with the money analogy: maybe I just call this a "wish note". One day, maybe, you will contact me, and then, I can check off the box as "PAID". Until then, I stick the note in a drawer and forget about it. Because when you wrote the note, you didn't have the capacity to pay.

[IAmFCA]

How is your Mom? This has been bothering me lately. How are you thinking through your next steps? I am missing being a friend to you at this time.

[periwinkle00]

I miss you. Nothing I can do. We're a bad fit. I can talk about you here. That helps. What else am I to do? My chest feels tight. You came in and healed that wound. Now you're gone and the wound is worse than ever.

[savignon]

You suuuuuucccckkkkkkk.