firefly2613

I just wanted to come to this thread and share one thing: no contact really is the way to go. Nobody can tell you if it's going to bring them back. That's up to them. What it's for is you. And it really will make you see the thing that went wrong in your relationship; what they did wrong, what you did wrong. It will put you in a more logical state of mind if you STICK TO IT. It's a hard road but it can be done. I know, because I did it. And I was either a) left for another man or b) left because of GIGS. And she was also my first love. Am I over her? No. And I probably won't ever really be because she WAS my first love. But, if I do want to try to get her back I am in a much better position, since I can now understand the only way to get her back is to let her go. Does it hurt as bad as it did? Not nearly. I got my appetite back. I made new friends. I learned how to fill that "void" that she left. Personally I think 30 days of NC is not enough. I am an advocate of 60 days. Today is my 59th day. Hang in there. It gets better.

Yeah, I miss you. I wish we didn't have to be strangers. This whole thing just makes me sad.

Well it's been 34 days. I feel a little more distant from her everyday, but I still sometimes miss my best friend. I can actually find myself attracted to other girls and I have one I am currently pursuing. As for my ex, well she hasn't tried to reach out, but I have noticed in passing her doing odd things like wearing her prom dress as a Halloween outfit or suddenly befriending another girl she knew I was previously attracted to. But I don't worry too much about what she's thinking. It's really about me and my life.

Remember that girl I met awhile ago? The one I told you about that came to my meeting?. Yeah, well I think she likes me. And I like her too.

Tomorrow is the big day. 30 days of no contact. Never knew I would get this far. Never knew I would go this long without hearing from you. I let myself cry last night because I felt I needed it. It was intense. It was a deep hurt that I don't think I've ever felt. But it was better when it was finally over. I told myself I would throw a few more pity parties for myself to mourn losing you. I will do more if I need to, but this one really helped. I woke up this morning and checked my horoscope. Haven't done that in years. Don't really believe in the things. But it said "today is the day to reach your decision. Stick with it." And I thought it was funny...because I've made my decision. I forgive you. A part of me will always love you. But I can't keep doing this. I'm letting you go.

25 days no contact. It's getting easier. Still no word from her. Still have trouble trying to snoop on Facebook because I created a fake profile. Something about my curiosity just gets the better of me, even though I know she was dating a new guy less than a month after we broke up and now spends most of her time at his apartment. I'm trying to get myself back out there. Never been good at the dating game. I'm interested in this new girl. She's kind of awesome. Part of me hopes my ex never tries to talk to me again, but I know her well enough to know she'll try. I think I'd just tell her to go away forever and leave me alone but I really do miss my friend. In any case, I think I have given up for real on getting back together. Some days are just harder than others.

Saturday's are always the hardest. Sundays come close. Because that's when I realize I don't have you around to text anymore. I really do miss my friend, but that doesn't mean I would take you back. I guess you're having a good time with him. I can't believe I was trying to push down my intuition so much. I thought you were different but you left me anyway. You really just left me. I'm not rolling over, and I'm doing okay, but I'm just bored and a little sad. Day 25 though, and I can hardly believe it.

If we were the last two people on Earth, I would either a) throw you off a cliff and live alone or b) jump off a cliff myself. Don't get me wrong. I'm not mad. I want you to be happy. But it's just that I don't CARE about you or your life anymore.

I was with my mom today, and she drove by his apartment not knowing where it was. I couldn't help but see your car there. Who knows what you're doing with him. It hurt for awhile. But then I got better. You've known this guy for nearly two months now and you know what, I hope you do every single little thing you can possibly do with him. Right now you think the grass is greener but you just wait. You'll see. You're gonna find that it isn't. You're gonna find that you let a great guy go, and when you do find that out it will be too late. And really. I don't even care if you never realize. My friends are amazing and I am out talking to girls. This is just one more reason to hate the things you did. Don't get me wrong. I love you. But you are not you anymore. You died, and you've been replaced with this person I don't even recognize, and I'm so glad I got away from there. All you do now is talk about your sorority. All you are is a shell of everyone else. You're all fake and sad people.

21 days. I can hardly believe it. You dumped me on the 18th of September and my life has totally changed. For a while I thought I would never put myself together, and I suppose it will be awhile before I truly get myself back. But today...I am amazed. I have made three wonderful best friends out of acquantinces. For the firsttime I feel like I belong. I am doing so much with my life. Right now they're helping me learn to talk to women. I was never good at that. You were the one who pulled the moves, remember? But it's going well. I feel like a different person. I feel stronger. I want to thank you for breaking my heart. I have changed my wardrobe. And next Thursday, for my Day 30 celebration, they are taking me to get a new haircut. Just in time, too. The weather's turning cold. My favorite time of year. I am immensely excited. Being without you has opened my eyes to the possibilities and forced me to feel better about myself. I still miss you sometimes and I guess I always will. But I don't think I would take you back. In fact, I'm quite sure. I feel like I'm escaping from the clutches of Hell.

Day 20. I dont know how I feel. Everything was so sudden to me. I hate being alone. You left me alone. I hope he makes you happy and I also hope he doesnt. I'm just glad you can't see me. I hate loving you.

Through all of this. Through reading all of these stories and feeling their heartbreak meshing with my own. Through all of this I have realized one thing. You gave up. And I can feel myself slowly giving up on you. That's the way it goes, huh?

Everything hit me so hard tonight. The songs are making me cry. But I won't talk to you. I'd never risk. You're with him now. I will cry myself to sleep tonight. I will force myself to listen to these songs. And I will keep going.

Well, this is my first time posting in this thread. I am officially on Day 18 of No Contact. Still going through ups and downs, but have not had any urge to contact her since she started dating a new guy a month after we broke up. (Quick summary: she had only known him for two months). But none of that matters. What does matter is me. At about the 10 day mark, I found out for sure that she was officially dating this guy, and I was THIS CLOSE to sending her an angry email but I stopped myself midway and deleted it and took time to calm down. I reminded myself that she is annoying at the best of times and that poor guy just doesn't know what he's getting into. Since then I have had no urge to contact her. My hardest times are in the mornings. I used to wake up to a good morning text every morning, so now I have to re-accept everything when I first wake up. Sometimes it takes hours. I'm trying to focus on improving myself. I do know that I will see her again, because she is the one that really and truly initiated the no contact but very clearly left the door open, probably so she could come back and throw breadcrumbs.

18 days since I've talked to you, and I really can't believe we made it here. Sometimes I feel like I'm moving on, and then there are times when all I want is to have you back, even if just to talk. It hit me doubly hard because I lost my best friend - the person who told me EVERYTHING, and the person I told EVERYTHING to. I know I pushed you right into his arms. I should have given you the space when you asked for it. But it's unfair of you to expect me to be able to give you that space when you were my first love, and when I was going through so much stuff in my life. When for two years, everyday, I talked to you about everything...it was so hard to leave you alone. But you are with him now, and I'm proud that I haven't stepped into that relationship at all. I guess I even encouraged it. Part of me hopes he treats you badly so you'll come back, the other part hope's he is perfect for you. And even if you did come back... You would just leave again.

17 days NC today and I have no idea how I'm feeling, mainly because I can't trust anything I'm feeling lately. I want to say that I feel my power returning, that I actually feel you starting to regret, but maybe that's wishful thinking. Indifference today. That's all. I don't think about you near as much as I used to. I'm noticing other girls.

I miss you so much today. I always thought you were different. Why do I miss you? After all those things you did? How can you wear the clothes we bought together and not think of me. How can you still have my stuff and not think of me? The worst thing is you were my best friend, and all I need is my best friend to help make me feel better. It's cruel. But it's been 16 days since I last talked to you. I hope you are having fun with your new guy. I have to remember that you can't see what I'm going through. I want you to come back so I can crush you in the dirt. I want you to tell me you love me and mean it like you used to. I hate the thought of another guy being with you. But you said I was suffocating you and so now I am not. How could you say we weren't compatible?

I notice you've packed on ten of those freshman 15, and I felt bad for feeling good about it, but then I just stayed feeling good.

I ran into your mom today in Walmart, and I was very nice to her and she was nice to me. It was like old times. I can tell she still really likes me, and in the back of her mind she wonders why you ever left. But she's a good woman, so she won't get involved in your life. I saw a picture of you today. You were wearing the dress you wore to Junior prom to one of your sorority events. I know I crossed your mind then. I have a deep seated feeling I can't shake - a feeling that you realize I'm moving, that you realize what you've lost. A feeling that you know I would never truly take you back.

Today it has been a little over a month since you said we "needed a break". It has also been 14 days since I last talked to you. Tomorrow you'll be going to the bonfire with that guy you met two months ago. You know? The one you left me for? And then you'll go to the halloween game with him and then you'll spend your weekend with him because he has his own place and I don't. And I'm okay with it. Because you don't even know who he is and I want you both to have plenty of time together. Watch his flaws come out. I know you'll regret this. Me? I'm doing great. I've forgiven you because you are young. Oh and I've lost 18 pounds, am close to a great job, and I'm getting intrigued by a girl I have known for a long time. I learned to be alone. You never have been but one day you will be. And when that day comes that you try to re-enter my life - who knows what for - I would like to say I'd be there, but I know I won't. I will ignore you. And when you need me most, I will be gone. Like you were. You should have realized just how lucky you were sooner.