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[FindingClarity]

You weren't actually all that great to me were you. suppose you thought you tried in your own way. I'll get by without you.

[hopelessincan]

What a difference a day makes. I'm happy. I can truly say I'm happy again. I had an amazing weekend with someone who truly thinks I am awesome and isn't afraid to tell me so. I think the same of him. I'm glad I've still got in in heart heart to know I can try again wiith someone new

[IAmFCA]

I went to church and prayed for you. I did. I do not pray; lately, that has become an almost daily habit. And of all the people, you were who I most fervently prayed for, asking for peace on your behalf, for relief from your pain. I see no end in sight to the pain going around, the infection, the contagion that you spread just by the suggestion of your power and your anger. Even if you did not, have not and would not do what has been done, the contagion spreads just the same, with the knowledge that maybe? And so there is no end, not as long as others imagine your actions to be as fueled with anger as your speech sometimes can be.

 

I really truly hope that some part of you will settle. I sense that I will be looking over my shoulder for years to come. A frightful proposition. And perhaps a needless one.

 

I will not be able to judge for myself, to have an impact myself, nobody else will either. And so, for you, in your violence and your pain, I prayed, and I prayed hard.

[NoIdea2013]

I've had to take the day off work because I've hurt my back. Wish I could tell you. I nearly texted you at 6.30am to tell you I miss you and I love you. But I won't. That's not fair on you. Just need to suck it up I guess.

[Hangin Thread]

Missing you. Stopped for coffee and noticed your car wasn't there...staying with your new boyfriend almost every night now. Had so many plans for us...just wished I had told you before it was too late.

[iamstrong]

Being in the states is a wonderful way to ignore what you have done with all the other birds in the block. I miss my spirits mate though and discovered I was separating myself from him because he offers me what other can not or will not. He offers me a chance to be a normal female knowing that he will make sure I am guided and my company enjoyed: but not as a conquest. I would travel to the states with him knowing that he will be honorable and a good mate. As much as I want you Whacker, you are NOT all the things I desire. Sexy: yes. Handsome: yes. But a true friend: no. I deserve someone who is true and doesn't lie or cheat or find himself being all things to various women.

[IAmFCA]

I just wrote to you, then deleted it.

 

I just need to stop talking to you altogether, in my head, on here, everywhere. You do not exist.

 

I will practice that: you do not exist.

 

It isn't true though. But you are wishing it so, and so I must make it so.

[IAmFCA]

I wish to be accepted by you.

 

In fact, you should be wishing to be wanted by me.

 

We will not be together. My wish is not healthy. Your wish has been silenced.

[firefly2613]

21 days.

 

I can hardly believe it. You dumped me on the 18th of September and my life has totally changed. For a while I thought I would never put myself together, and I suppose it will be awhile before I truly get myself back. But today...I am amazed.

 

I have made three wonderful best friends out of acquantinces. For the firsttime I feel like I belong. I am doing so much with my life. Right now they're helping me learn to talk to women. I was never good at that. You were the one who pulled the moves, remember?

 

But it's going well. I feel like a different person. I feel stronger. I want to thank you for breaking my heart.

 

I have changed my wardrobe. And next Thursday, for my Day 30 celebration, they are taking me to get a new haircut. Just in time, too. The weather's turning cold. My favorite time of year.

 

I am immensely excited. Being without you has opened my eyes to the possibilities and forced me to feel better about myself. I still miss you sometimes and I guess I always will.

 

But I don't think I would take you back. In fact, I'm quite sure.

 

I feel like I'm escaping from the clutches of Hell.

[SydneyGirl]

You have no heart! you are cold and cruel and I am starting to dislike you!

 

You are NOT incapable of showing love, you just don't feel it for me! I don't want you in my life anymore! I thought I loved you! Why did you come back and beg.me for another chance? Why do you hate me so fkn much? Why do you want to torture the only woman who has EVER loved you?

 

I could make You happy, if you let me! But that will never happen, AND BY THE TIME YOU REALISE THE MISTAKE YOU HAVE MADE IT WILL BE TOO LATE!!!

[NoIdea2013]

Hi,

 

I;m still in (physical) pain. Wish i could tell you.

 

I find myself running through or conversations more and more,searching for clues.

 

I'm nowhere near over you. I miss you and want you in my life. I'm trying to convince myself every minute that if you truly love someone you want them to be happy even if it's not with you.

[IAmFCA]

R was just a good friend with this:

 

"You knew that this man, and I am assuming you are speaking about B, was brilliant. The struggle for both of you was whether he would use his intellectual power for good or bad. Imagine the possibilities if he had chosen the righteous path of good!"

 

Will this help you? Will you ever understand? Do I write you a letter? Do I leave you alone?

 

D it.

[iamstrong]

R was just a good friend with this:

 

"You knew that this man, and I am assuming you are speaking about B, was brilliant. The struggle for both of you was whether he would use his intellectual power for good or bad. Imagine the possibilities if he had chosen the righteous path of good!"

 

D it.

 

Wow Love: his perspective is one of compassion and well thought out: R is not placing blame nor does he speak ill of B: that would be so easy to do. He does neither sugarcoat or brush aside. I am impressed with his maturity.

 

As for writing to B: I would not. It would only allow him to know that he is under your skin and that his success in making you thinking longingly of him is coupled only by your willingness to try and help him. He might view this as a victory. Leave him to mind his own misfortune.

 

I am in awe of the writing of your friend though. A man with a kind heart: undeniable.

[Ydoesalonehurt]

I told you goodbye.

I had been doing it slowly for a while now. I thought it would make it easier bit by bit.

But maybe ripping off a bandaid is best.

I can't believe how I still think..

Oh, we'll be able to share again one day. I'll send you a Picture of my Christmas tree.. You'll send me yours too.

That you'll care about my life or my sister having a baby or my garden... Blah blah

You took a place in center stage when my life hurt more than I could handle. Losing a parent is a huge gap.

You filled so much of the aloneness.

I am eternally grateful for that.

But it was not a "right" love between us. It was a "wrong" love masked and adorned with decorations of rightness.

I will be replaced.

You will be replaced.

Even though we are both irreplaceable

Whomever takes that space we need to open wide our eyes and ears and heart to.

They should be deserving of our full love. Our complete attention.

And we should be sure we are deserving of theirs.

Mind your own side of the street.

I am minding mine.

I wonder how we could kill something that started so pure.

Namaste

Enter abundance and free from scarcity

[firefly2613]

I was with my mom today, and she drove by his apartment not knowing where it was. I couldn't help but see your car there. Who knows what you're doing with him. It hurt for awhile. But then I got better.

 

You've known this guy for nearly two months now and you know what, I hope you do every single little thing you can possibly do with him. Right now you think the grass is greener but you just wait. You'll see. You're gonna find that it isn't. You're gonna find that you let a great guy go, and when you do find that out it will be too late.

 

And really. I don't even care if you never realize. My friends are amazing and I am out talking to girls.

 

This is just one more reason to hate the things you did. Don't get me wrong. I love you. But you are not you anymore. You died, and you've been replaced with this person I don't even recognize, and I'm so glad I got away from there. All you do now is talk about your sorority. All you are is a shell of everyone else. You're all fake and sad people.

[IAmFCA]

Wow Love: his perspective is one of compassion and well thought out: R is not placing blame nor does he speak ill of B: that would be so easy to do. He does neither sugarcoat or brush aside. I am impressed with his maturity.

 

As for writing to B: I would not. It would only allow him to know that he is under your skin and that his success in making you thinking longingly of him is coupled only by your willingness to try and help him. He might view this as a victory. Leave him to mind his own misfortune.

 

I am in awe of the writing of your friend though. A man with a kind heart: undeniable.

 

Yes, R has an extraordinarily kind heart.

 

No, not writing to B. Expect to never acknowledge B again, even if standing right in front of him.

 

That sentence was in reference to M. I wrote to M a two page letter that I kept to myself.

 

There is much to process with B turning out to be a sociopath, targeting M, causing M to become scarce and giving me an opportunity to view myself as a marked woman.

 

But I will not view myself that way. I will not. It is daxm,n hard to stay above the fray, and to stomach that this outing of B's true self soured a connection I was enjoying, even if it was an imperfect one.

[iamstrong]

Yes, R has an extraordinarily kind heart.

 

No, not writing to B. Expect to never acknowledge B again, even if standing right in front of him.

 

That sentence was in reference to M. I wrote to M a two page letter that I kept to myself.

 

There is much to process with B turning out to be a sociopath, targeting M, causing M to become scarce and giving me an opportunity to view myself as a marked woman.

 

But I will not view myself that way. I will not. It is daxm,n hard to stay above the fray, and to stomach that this outing of B's true self soured a connection I was enjoying, even if it was an imperfect one.

 

Love: you shouldn't allow yourself to be viewed as a marked woman: it seems rather convenient for m to view you this way. If he was attempting to shag you in the process of your friendship with him and that didn't come about: this might be m's way of bidding out without having to show a colour of not accomplishing what he set after. His lie was no different than anyone else's but for your having had a crush on him. He was not honest with you: bottom line.

 

I am certain that the other chap: r: would not allow you to be view as a marked woman: quite to the contrary: he sounds like he would stand up for you and defend your honor: but not in a physical confrontation: but with supporting you in the things you have been burdened with and not running to the hills like m has. I wonder aloud if you were to separate the connection between b and r: would you still view r in the same light? It seems his value is tanished not only by his actions but also by the strength and ownership of b: whether b came right about and said anything. Confusion seems to have run rampant and that b had a force-hold on you and your perception of r.

 

I am certain that m was looking for an excuse to justify his shagging and to be able to break a seemingly harmless connection with you.

 

Two of the three seem like bloody blokes. The other a chap with gentlemanly ways: it might not seem that way being involved: but as I spit eariler: b controlled m's thoughts about you: even if it was a romance that was never to have been: you are allowing b to control your ideas about r even now. It is not a sign of weakness for you love: rather a confusion of r that was probably a wonderful guy: just not the right guy at the time and that spell is difficult for you to break even now.

[SydneyGirl]

You just confirmed all my worst fears. I know the truth now and I can't pretend anymore. its too late for us. Too much has happened. too much hurt.

[magicangel]

Efffff u coward ur with her yet can't leave me alone hiw sad

[Pleasedonot5]

If you really wanted me back like you said you wouldn't be acting like this. I know this is an emotional time but there's no excuse for acting like a child and trying to make me jealous, especially with all the history we had. I wouldn't do that to you. Even if it's unintentional, then it's childish. Grow up. Some people are seriously clueless as to how others' emotions work. Jealousy and acting out solves nothing -- just makes problems. It just makes you look like a child and it's frustrating because that's not who I initially dated. I really want things to work between us, but I can't because the feelings just aren't there anymore because you're different now. You're cooler (but still different) in person but behind the keyboard you're a whole different person. Regrettably, a lot of people are like that, I just thought you weren't one of them.

 

Perhaps I need to let it be but seeing someone sabotage their case like that just makes me cringe.

 

My God, social networking sucks. I need to stop looking at her twitter page.

[Hazyillusions]

The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go

[iam42]

dear you,

 

I am writing you here because I never got to say goodbye to you in a way that honors who you are in the world and who you were to me: my kindest man. I still think about you everyday, still miss you every single day. I guess I want to tell you that I heard you, that you're not wrong for wanting to marshall all of your energies, even romantic, to be where you are. there is nothing wrong with not being able to love accross an ocean, with needing a lover who stands in your kitchen at dinner time or has a side of a shared bed or who coaxes you out of a mood by rubbing your shoulder,who showers with you and makes love with you several times a week, who hears first how your talk or class went. I wanted to be those things for you but I couldn't living my own strenuous life accross the ocean.

 

I have thought of it/you as weak. but I admire you and your loyalty to your own needs and your right to have those needs met - even though the cost was my deeply broken heart. for my part I want to share that the timing and method of your departure was disastrous for me. my son got very very sick and has been in and out of long hospital stays since. and I needed a hug and a drink and to sit accross the table from you who had been my lover and my deep love. I just didn't have the strength to hear what you had to tell me. to this day I have never worn the clothes that I had purchased and packed for that trip accross the ocean to see you. to this day I have not been able to nestle under another man's chin or shoulder. this is not your issue; it's mine. in some ways it is just the legacy of how good you were and how much it still hurts that you are gone. there are not many do overs in life. and you determined and orchestrated our end in the best way you could. still, I wish that there had been more patience, more faith, more grace, more care, more room for me to say goodbye (with tears and kisses all over that pretty face) to one of my absolute favorite men - and minds - ever.

 

please be very happy. a thousand kisses. yours.

[SydneyGirl]

I don't want this anymore. I don't want to see you! I don't want to think about you and I sure as f*** don't want to love you!

 

I would tell myself that you had been hurt and that if I was patient and affectionate and supportive you would open up to me.

 

You think I don't know how you were with her? You think I haven't seen it? You love her? You cry for her? Where is she now? With him! She doesn't want you or miss you! You're nothing to her and still she has your heart! You're such an idiot!

 

No... I'm the idiot! I'm the one who gave you so many chances and let you hurt me so many times. I'm the one who kept letting you back into my heart against all my better judgement.

 

I believed the best about you and not only did you prove me wrong, you laughed in my face about it. You laughed while I cried and in that moment I saw this for what it really is. You made me feel so worthless!

 

I kept telling myself you were putting on an act and protecting yourself but that's not true... the nice guy is the act.

 

I thought you were playing games with your hot and cold but now I realise you really don't care and it was never a game, never an act, it was me... it was how you felt, or how little you felt for me.

 

Why? Why did you come back? What did I ever do except love you and forgive you and validate you and your ego over and over again. You don't respect me, you never did. As if you could ever love me. I'm such a fool.

[SydneyGirl]

And then you call and say you miss me and you're thinking about me... It's almost what I want to hear, and it works. I will meet you tomorrow... you sound like you want to see me, I hope that's true. You are impossible to me! My heart hurts... it doesn't know whether to keep trying to please you and beg for your love or to just give up and cut you out of my life... I know what is best but I'm so weak when it comes to you.

[IAmFCA]

B you will live in your world, I will live in mine. I will shine. I will focus on my world. your presence will be absent from my mind. if you choose to follow me, well, so what. stay away from me, stay away from my friends. leave all of us alone.

 

M, until next spring I guess. kind of ticks me off.