Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[iamstrong]

Cheers Whacker: I couldn't be happier being seperated from you by the pond. Disney in Florida was rich with entertainment. The Nations Capital is as lovely as everyone said it was. I am filling out applications for the police department while I'm here. And then off to the Big Apple for a fun weekend: I hope. I don't miss you: not in the least. I do miss the spirit mate: I am left wondering what would happen should he walk completely out of my life or if I were to move accross the pond permenently: I would definitely miss him. But not you. I would not miss you. Go about shagging other birds and making excuses for your behaviour: Find excuses for why you need to get that out of your system: but please don't bother telling me that you wish to stay in touch with me because I am important to you: I don't believe you anymore.

[periwinkle00]

I spoke to you last night on facebook. It's your birthday today. The conversation ended with you saying "I think about you every time I get off work", and me saying "You made it clear, last time we spoke on the phone, that you don't want to be with me because I don't want kids."

 

I didn't include the fact that I wouldn't want you as a father to my kid, if I had one.

 

You say you are being dragged down by chains, metaphorically. Obviously you are trying to drag me down to your level. You want me to pay attention to you. Poor you. The world should take pity. Give me a break. Take responsibility for your own feelings and figure yourself out.

 

That being said, I still think of you hugging me when I go to bed, and another thing already mentioned a few times. I am human. I have needs. Thing is, I feel fine with that. I don't need to see you, or talk to you (birthday was an exception..I said happy birthday). I can experience you, by imagining you to be with me, and really, that's all I need, with a couple friends to keep me sane.

[notifyd]

I miss you and I regret treating you like until you were finally pushed to the limit and I couldn't take it back. You said you don't want to talk to me and that we should learn to be our own person, that this is just something we need to do. I will try not to speak to you like you asked, even if it's so difficult because for many years, you were there every single day.

 

I hate the words you used to convince me that we should both stop talking though. It didn't sound like it came from you. We've been together for so long that I at least know that much. It sounded like someone else's advice to you, and I hate that you couldn't come to the decision on your own, and that whoever that person was, their words were enough for you to completely give up on us.

[iamstrong]

Ian: I'm desperate to forget you. You are a whacker: a bloody joke of a man who shags about with other birs, but you can't seem to let me live my own life.

 

I have a wonderous friend here on ENA now. I feel she is going through a similiar situation. I speak to her about finding the truth in her friend: he is not perfect: but he seeks help and is growing. Why can I not wish the same resolve for finding the good in my spirit mate? Because you planted so many seeds of him in my brain: that's why. You don't want me to be with anyone else: you except me: will me: to wait about while you continue your conquests. Why do you try and keep me so close? Why shalt I find the courage to forget the demon seed you planted about my friend?

[firefly2613]

If we were the last two people on Earth, I would either a) throw you off a cliff and live alone or b) jump off a cliff myself.

 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not mad. I want you to be happy. But it's just that I don't CARE about you or your life anymore.

[Hazyillusions]

Everyday I hurt alittle less, and grow alittle stronger.

 

 

 

If I was really honest with myself, I know my feelings have not lessened one bit, but I know I'll be okay in time. I repeat that to myself like a mantra. I will get passed this.

I have to.

[IAmFCA]

sweet sociopath, I embrace you. I embrace my life, i embrace the light you shine on me with your illness and your obsession.

 

I can control how I react-- isn't that the rule?

 

So, I greet you with the love I know and you know lives within me, I receive you in your sickness and your anger. I am absolutely completely in love with the world and the beauty that resides within it.

 

I have only appreciation for your pain and your power. It is the water of life. I will choose to use mine to smile upon the world, including you.

[firefly2613]

Saturday's are always the hardest. Sundays come close. Because that's when I realize I don't have you around to text anymore. I really do miss my friend, but that doesn't mean I would take you back. I guess you're having a good time with him. I can't believe I was trying to push down my intuition so much. I thought you were different but you left me anyway. You really just left me. I'm not rolling over, and I'm doing okay, but I'm just bored and a little sad.

 

Day 25 though, and I can hardly believe it.

[Michael Belk]

This is an interesting concept. I bet many people have a lot to say. It is hard to deal with things alone, but it is nice to know others will listen. Good idea.

[periwinkle00]

I just really feel like I need a friend today. You filled that spot for a almost two years. I have one friend who I talk to pretty regularly, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea, so I have to keep my distance a bit. I have a few friends who I see sometimes, but I don't talk to them on a regular basis. I have workshops until next week, then hopefully I will be getting this job I interviewed for..but right now, I just feel all kinds of lonely. I try to fill the void with youtube videos. It makes me feel like I have a friend in the vloggers, and I do, but they aren't good friends. I do the same thing with Facebook.

 

It isn't often you find a good friend. You were one, even if you pissed me off half the time. You wanted to hear my voice, even if you weren't terribly interested in what I was doing, and more concerned about yourself. At least you cared to call...Seems like you called more out of selfish reasons than anything. Just wanted to hear that someone cared to talk to you.

 

I just can't help but sit here in my own pity, and not really have much to do about it. I could listen to music and clean up the apartment. That would break up my day. It's just one of those days. I've been busy all week, and I need some alone time. The ironic thing is that when I want my alone time, I still want to socialize with other people through facebook or youtube. Texting is another option, sometimes.

 

I have lots of these days when I'm not out looking for a job or going to job skills workshops. I rather like them, but it gets to a point where it's just like "My life is f***ing sad." I said happy birthday to you through facebook, the morning of your birthday. You told me you think about me every day when you get home from work. Since then, you have not responded to my facebook posts on my wall. Usually you throw out a few "likes", but since you talked to me over facebook, a couple days ago, I could see how you would feel satisfied for a few days off the interaction that we did have. That's your pattern. When I speak to you in any way, you don't pay my wall any attention for a few days. Sometimes I have the fear that you will stop liking my posts all together. i don't go on your wall, because I know it's not good for me. It's been 2 or 3 weeks since I've even looked, and I don't plan on looking. There's no point, and I might get some hurt feelings in the process if I see something I don't want to see.

 

You sort of filled a void..not too well, but at least you satisfied it.

 

I hate that feeling. I love you, and I'm attracted to you. I just have to keep writing that, but the best thing to keep in mind is that you pissed me the f*** off. I forget when I get caught up in the romance. I really do. I really forget how much you actually insulted me, only in a way that was not very direct. You expected me to do things the way you did them, and that I was not entitled to do things my way. How arrogant of you. You thought I was there to serve you. I just can't get over how annoyed you made me.

Angry feelings are coming up. I feel better when I'm angry, because at least I'm not sad. It makes me feel like I don't have to be a victim. In fact, I am quite angry at you for so many things. I am angry at you that I feel this way, even if it's not entirely your fault. I am just pissed at you. It feels like you wasted two years of my life. You just see things from your view. You have such limited beliefs.

[Hazyillusions]

I'm going to advance in my career and chase success in the next 6 months. And I'm going to use YOU as motivation.

[notifyd]

1st day of NC. It was actually easier than I thought. My emotions are going back and forth and I've been writing them down. I actually feel good about myself too and I feel motivated. I was looking at pics from before I met you and I had been so much more fit... and that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to lose the weight I gained.

[IAmFCA]

so, was a crime committed? I don't know. if so, did you do it? I don't know.

 

and guess what, I am not involved. at all. I don't need to know, and I don't think anyone else would draw the same energy. this is about you two, not me.

 

I am ever more free.

[micro]

I saw you today.

You didn't look happy.

Or, was I mistaken?

[IAmFCA]

the truth is, my life was better with you in it. also, i am now better discovering my constancy without you in it. I have actually changed.

 

I still want you, and I really don't know what to do about it. nothing: just keep reinforcing my sense of faith.

 

also, you are right to start away for a bit.

 

it's just all a bit frustrating. what will cause you to re-engage, if anything?

 

Will there be a day when you get tired of the women who are available to you? Will you miss us? Will there be an event you wish I were at, or a conversation you wish you could have? argh. there are no natural overlaps.

[Love145]

I don't know what you got in your head but I had it with your stupid games. You talk so much crap, but when it comes to actions you are just a little kitty. I won't give you any more attention, I had it, you are not even all that, and guess what else, you don't know how to make a woman orgasm. Deuces.

[Hazyillusions]

What is wrong with me. I need to stop. Eff this hurts =(.

I miss you.

[lioness726]

W-

 

It's been 55 days since I last spoke to you. That's almost two months. 55 days since I left your place in tears and you hugged me goodbye. I remember you asked me if I was going to cut you out of my life and I responded with a, "I don't f****ing know, I--". You cut me off before I could finish and quickly burst out with, "You don't have to answer that now," and hugged me again.

 

Remember that? I wonder if you're now realizing that I have. You have a few things of mine. I texted your best friend/roomie about them today. Luckily I was friends with him before I knew you. He IS the reason I met you, after all. But I asked him to retrieve those things for me. I wonder how you're going to feel when he relays that information to you? It will become obvious that I don't want to talk to or see you. Luckily, I don't have your new phone number. And if you DO text me, I will ignore it.

 

I heard that when you were at your friends' wedding, people asked where I was and what happened. Apparently you didn't say anything bad about me at all. Good. You have absolutely no reason to, anyway. The worse thing I ever did was love you. I also heard that you cried at the wedding. Funny that you cried since you told me that you never wanted to get married. But, oh wait. That's right. CORRECTION. The night you dumped me, you changed your tune and harshly said I wasn't the girl for you. Ok, I remember now, why I SHOULDN'T love you or want to be with you.

 

I saw some wedding photos. You did NOT look cute. I mean, grow back your facial hair! No wait... don't. I'm ok with you looking ugly. The short hair and no facial hair makes you look like your Dad. (NOT a good thing- and have you gained weight?)

 

I'm starting to become convinced that after the wedding, you deleted your ex (before me) off your Facebook. Why? And if you deleted her, why didn't you delete me? Is it because you want to keep sending me requests in Candy Crush? I just don't get it.

Did seeing her as a bridesmaid in the wedding with you as a groomsmen; then seeing her all happy, dancing, and in love with her new man finally get to you? Have you finally come to terms with the fact that you were never over her- even when we started dating? So maybe you're not over her, but you're over me and that's why you didn't delete me? And maybe you have come to terms with that and you're trying to get over her so you can find someone new? Ugh. I hate you. I wish I just didn't give a sh** about all of that crap. It makes my brain hurt. And for what? No reason at all! All of that crap should be irrelevant to me but it's not. So I hate you for that because I clearly still care. But it has gotten easier, you know. I haven't cried in a few weeks and I could easily sleep with other men. I have no interest in relationships- the thought of getting to know someone and all that dating junk exhausts me. I have too much crap on my plate and things that I need to deal with in MY life before I can get into anything else. I want some serious ME time.

 

I'm actually ok with being single right now. I'm actually ok with being alone. Yeah, I remember what it was like to have someone I loved, to feel that connection and compatibility, and to have someone I was hopeful for a future with. But I think I've actually come to the acceptance stage of grieving. I accept that it's over and it's time to move on. I accept that I deserve more and my worth isn't weighed by having someone. My worth is NOT varied and weighed by you. My worth is all my own and I'm worthy of more than someone who doesn't want to be with me.

 

It's not rocket science. You either wanted to be with me or not and you already made the choice. You decided not to be with me, so the intelligent thing for me to say is, "Peace out mother f***er!" And move on. Sorry, we can't be friends. That kind of relationship would be toxic for my well-being and since I'm on my own now, I gotta do right by me. I don't care if that's not what you want. Your feelings don't have ANY kind of priority to me anymore. I'm not trying to be hurtful- it's just the way it is.

 

Well, here's to a new day tomorrow. Waking up has become significantly easier even though you still crowd my thoughts. But now you've become more of a ghost. I feel less connected to you and more in tune with myself. The pain has dulled and it's just become more like a melancholy sadness. The pain is fading. Although, I know that if I saw or talked to you, it would all come rushing back. So, no thanks. Keep your distance. Maybe you haven't deleted me off Facebook because you still want some kind of connection to me- a way to know what's going on in my life. Your Dad has commented on a few things and has been very nice. Even though it's nice, it still makes me sad. Such a shame, you know. You'll NEVER meet anyone like me. NEVER. And... Good luck with that. Because I'm super, incredibly, f***ing awesome.

[NoIdea2013]

I really really miss you.

 

I wish I didn't but the days just seem to be getting harder. I;m dreading this friday, I;m dreading Christmas, and New year, and Valentine's day and your birthday.

 

I hate myself for saying this but I love you so much. It's so hard not to just text you or call you and tell you that.

[periwinkle00]

I just had a facebook chat with you, because you mentioned to me a few days ago on facebook that you work nearby. I was curious to know where, so I asked you this morning.

 

We got on the subject on facebook profile pictures. I told you I had a dream that you had changed your picture. I clicked on it, and it was a video of you miming words.

 

I said "I haven't taken a picture in a couple of years", and you said "Just don't do anything too crazy with a new pic..I know what you look like". I said "I hate to break it to you, but other people can look at my pictures too ". The nerve. Why do you think you have the right to tell me what to do? Jesus. What world are you living in?

 

LOL While speaking to you, a song was playing "Don't rain on my parade". Hilarious.

 

I wasn't telling you anything, or I didn't mean to. You know who I am, its not like I can lie and tell you to do stuff.

 

Apparently I took the whole thing out of context...I can't delete this.

[kz91]

Screw yourself.

[IAmFCA]

N

 

You are a real jerk sometimes! So sad your girls know it. So beautiful they know how to show you grace when you can't find it yourself.

[Hangin Thread]

Just saw you at the gym...cant believe we went from constant contact to a 20 second exchange. Hurts so bad. Glad I kept my composure...but so wanted to ask you about your new boyfriend...your new car your new life....ugggh.

[AutumnBorn]

Can you extract your head from your ass long enough to look at your family?

[Justagirly]

It's been 5 months.. How can you not be hurting and missing me like I am missing you?