Shainet

Are you back home yet?! I want this to be over with! Text me already so i'll know when to send your stuff! I dont want to keep on waiting for your text! I just want to end all connection with you! I effin hate you! You're unhealthy. You have lots of health problem. You're overweight! You have a tiny.. You have an attitude problem. You're so full of yourself and think you're all that. You're disgusting. I dont want to ever see your face again! You are dead to me.

I dont know how to let anyone else in. Maybe coz im not ready yet? But im scared it will take me years again to be in a relationship. I dont fall in love easily. I force myself to reply to other guys' text just to give myself a chance of falling for them. But i hate it. I dont like them. Im desperate. I want to fall inlove again. I have so much love to give. Before you i was almost 4 yrs single. Im now 27, im getting cynical, jaded.

17 days NC Im just waiting for you to contact me about getting your stuff back. I wonder when you'll get back home. Or maybe you're already here and just want me to contact you first? As if! I dont want you back anymore. I regret begging you to take me back! Im really happy now. Just dont tell me about your lovelife. I wish you contact me soon to get your stuff back. I just want this to over! I dont want to have any connection with you. Altho i will miss using your ipad. Heh!

2 weeks NC. I feel like im going crazy.

I dreamt of you. We were about to have sex. I asked if someone will get mad at you. You said 'my wife'. I thought i misheard you so i asked again. You said your wife. I cried and hit you, asked how could you do this to me. Your face was full of guilt and sorrow. I woke up. Maybe you do have someone else now. It's impossible for you not to be talking to someone else. Im sure of it. Im sorry. If ever you come back to me again, i wont accept you anymore. I will never, ever, accept you anymore.

I realized it's my fault. Im dysfunctional. I have a problem. If only i could have been more patient with you. You loved me so, so much. And i didnt treasure it. I didnt take care of it. I thought you will always be around. Did the breakup push you to act this way? Did i push you to be a jerk? Cant we be normal again? Dont you miss me? I wont be waiting for you forever. If after 2 mos you still wont take me back, i'll leave you forever. There will be no more 2nd chances.

I really am missing you. I miss talking to you. Our video chats. I miss how you say you love me. I miss your face. Are you thinking of me sometimes? Womdering how i am? So you wonder why i havent contacted you for a week? Im sure you hve noticed. I want to know how you feel. Do you even miss me? It's bren so hard for me. Why didnt you fight for us. We could have totally fixed this. I promised you i wont break up with you anymore. If you just give ke one last chance. I would even marry you just to prove to you i wont leave you again. I just want us again. We were happy right? You loved me so much. I hope that was just anger that made you say you dont love me anymore. I have changed. Please lets work this out. Dont you want to be happy again? Inlove you still and it hirts everyday that i cant talk to you. I miss you much.

Day 6 NC. Ive been praying a lot for God to help me get you back. For us to be together again. My friend told me i was praying the wrong thing. I should thank God and pray that His will be done. He has better plans for me. It's much better than what i was praying for. I will just accept everything and wait for my miracle. In God's time, i will receive my miracle.

Yesterday i was okay, today, im panicking again. I feel lost without him. Yesterday i was able to convince myself that im better of without him. Today, i cant stop thinking of him. Of all the regrets. If i didnt do that, if i didnt do this. I feel like im in a bad dream. I hope i wakeup soon so that i can talk to him again. Ive been praying a lot, reading on law of attraction, thinking positive thoughts. But my miracle is not happening.

Hi. How are u? That's great. Im doing good. Sad but moving on. I just want us to talk about what happened. Dont worry, i wont beg anymore. Just really want closure. That's all. You know our fight is totally fixable right? It's very shallow. I just want to know why you really gave up. Im just curious. That's all. I keep on thinking that maybe you found someone else that's why you suddenly just dumped me. No worries. You can be honest with me. Im totally okay now. Ill get over it. I just really want to know the truth so i wont feel like hanging here. I see. Okay. But we can totally try again you know. After days apart, i think we have made some changes on ourselves. I really want us to work this out. I know i have other guys waiting for me, but it's you that i want. I know you, ive seen everything avout you. And you totally know me. I just dont want to do it and start over with another guy. I think what we have is special. If only you give us another try. I need you to calm down and think about. Just open your mind and heart. I feel like you're just too adamant in your decision that you fail see the bigger picture. We can totally work this out. You were happy with me, and im happy with you. Let's just be happy together again. Let's continue on with our plans. Dont you want to live a life full of happiness. You said you started smoking again and playing your online game. Why dont you choose us and be good and healthy, rather than leave me and destroy yourself again. I never cheated you, i was very faithful. I always tell you about guys who text me. Please, just think about it okay. Give us another chance. I still want you and love.

day 4/5. i feel like he is slipping away from me. my friends think that maybe he had been talking some other woman, that's why he was quick to dismiss me. i mean after 2 days of break up he doesnt love me anymore. and he is cruel and rude and callous to me. the way he talked to me, it's like he's deliberately hurting my feelings. is it possible for a male dumper, who displays this kind of behavior, rude, uncaring, callous, to miss me eventually? i will give him space. i really dont know what his problem is, it was a simple fight. i really need a male dumper perspective here. if a male dumper says he doesnt love his gf anymore after 2 days and is very rude when the gf is begging him, will he eventually come around?

Day 3 or 4 I woke up and immediately thought of him. Realized he really is not missing me. He doesnt care for me at all. The person who was once super inlove with me and adored me is gone. How can you go from loving a person to not loving her in just a week. Ena is my lifeline right now. Everytime i feel hopeless, i read this challenge. From pqge to pqge. Good thing there's a lot of pages.

Today is not a good day. Been fighting with my mom. She is forcing me to eat. Yes, i was not eating for the past few days but i am actually eating right now. I guess iam just taking out my frustration on her. She knows somethings up. Im sure she knows ive broken up with the ex thats why im always holed up in my room and lashing at her. I feel sorry for her. I was very rude shouting at her when she only wants me to eat. T-T And i think this is all my ex's fault. Lol. Yes. I will just blame him.

Thank you so much. Will definitely do that.

Last time i chatted with him, after begging and getting rejected and telling my goodbyes i love you im letting go, i realized how pathetic that was and i insulted him slightly. I told him i want to see him when he comes back home(working abroad) so i will realize why i really dontlike him anyway. It's like an insult to his looks. He's not good looking. I wanted to meet up so that i can return his ipad and beats, but he wants me to just send it to him. He will come home 1st week of december. Should i contact him now and tell him yes i will send it to him once he's home and also apologize for what i said. Or wait til december, when he contacts me.