THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[rainmistdb]

NC 1

 

Thank you for responding Bugatti and Brokenhart84. I really appreciate it. I wish I could do NC completely but I think that will happen when the financial stuff gets figured out. I don't imagine that this stuff will be causing us to keep in touch very often. So today, I have had no temptation to contact whatsoever (still early but we'll see). The more I feel my feelings surrounding contact, the more I feel that it would be respectful to myself and to him to continue no contact. It's the kindest thing that I could do for myself and him. We are both hurt. And we both need space to heal. On the other hand, I've had a lot of grief come up and I've cried like a baby. It's surprising to me that after 2 months, my grief can be still so intense. It sucks. I feel like such a sad person and I fear that I will be this sad for a long time to come. That freaks me out. I look in the mirror and all I see is sadness around my eyes and that makes even more sad! When will I start feeling like myself again?

[bugatti]

It takes some time. My breakup was 6 months ago and there are days when I feel sad, but it's getting better and better. I cried this week when I thought about our times together. But to be honest - it's million times better then it was just 2 months. You need to change your mindset to something like that you deserve better. Even if you think that you don't deserve better that is not true. I felt really huge guilt because I treated my ex poorly, but I managed to let go this guilt and I'm currently living the best period of my life

[UnluckyLove]

4 days NC. It's hard, especially after getting a text from her yesterday saying she has some clothes I gave her that she wants to return. Also, I work with her, but avoid her as much as I can. It hurts like hell

[rainmistdb]

I feel like it's getting worse you'll. I'm not even worried about contacting him anymore. I don't think I will. What surprises me is how much I hurt. Today, I cried at least 10 times. I don't know why it seems to hurt with such a new intensity. I think in part, I had more hopes of reconciliation, especially because he brought it up but now, I realized that I don't know how I feel about that. SO, there is little hope. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? I think what's clear for me now is that regardless of what I will feel about reconciliation later, I have to let go, to heal, and get through this. And it hurts. Even though, he apologized for pretty much everything, I feel like it hasn't taken any of my pain away. The disrespect, the omissions, the lack of commitment, etc., everything just hurts deeply. Knowing that he was careless with me due to his own stuff, it also doesn't help. It still hurt me regardless. SO, how do you or how did you guys heal? What helped? What didn't help?

[rainmistdb]

I feel you. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hurt, too. At least, you are in good company, if I say so myself Hang tough!

[Natmendez]

This is the longest I've gone with out talking to her. It's been a roller coaster of emotions to get to this point. I must say that I'm feeling way better than I did since the BU ( December 5th). Everything that's happened since then has been an eye opener. I have a lot of individual issues I need to sort out. I'm not completely happy with the person I am, but I'm content at the progress I've made thus far. I still feel some resentment, to a certain degree, towards my ex and that's something I really want to let go. I have moments where I want to cry and have pangs of sadness, but I just pick myself up and keep going. One thing I'm extremely greatful for is that I have no desire to communicate with her. I am cognizant that if I were to do so it would undo most of the healing progress I've accomplished. Not to mention, I am terrified of feeling the horrible feelings I experienced when she dumped me for someone else. I do not want to go through those feelings again. It's better to stay away until I'm fully healed and have no feelings for her. Even when I'm fully healed there would be no reason to talk to her anyway. I still miss her and I hope that will go away soon. She's not worth missing.

[Paramore]

I would get the resent mind frame out of your head, the worst think you can do is resent your ex because it actually plays on your mind more than if you just accept the breakup accept what went wrong on your part and what went wrong on hers and move on from it, it's not easy especially when she left you for someone else, but if you get angry and you dwell on hating her for it you will find it will take you much much longer to move on

[palmer14]

I believe today is day 47. I still go back and forth all of the time, but I definitely am getting better. I really miss her, but I still need to keep reminding myself that she chose to leave. No contact really makes you feel like you have control of the situation, and not them. I was thinking, wouldn't it make more sense for this thread to be in the Healing After a Breakup forum?

[rainmistdb]

NC 3

 

It feels much longer than 3 days. Again, no temptation to contact. Today was much better. I met up with a friend who told me that some of our mutual friends believed that we were actually back together based on what he said. And it pissed me off. Ugh, he must really be delusional. I feel like he obviously doesn't realize how badly he messed things up. Regardless, I feel much better and much more in control today. I just want to keep the focus on me. I'm liking this newfound feelings of strength.

[rainmistdb]

so. got a text from my ex tonight "i miss you so damn much". and it pissed me off some more. what a bread crumb! i won't be writing back. instead i'm going to try to sleep.

[rainmistdb]

NC 4

 

Got another text message from ex asking for forgiveness about sending the last text. Again, I haven't answered and I won't answer. I feel sad letting go but I know it's for the best. Maybe now, he won't get in touch on my birthday, which is coming up but if he does, I still think that I shouldn't respond.

[Natmendez]

Officially at the two week mark. It feels good, but bitter at the same time. I've been thinking about her a lot today. It's annoying.

[Brokenhart84]

70 days no contact! wow. Time goes by fast. Obviously i still miss him but I'm looking forward!

[UnluckyLove]

Day 7 NC and I wake up to a text from her this morning saying she's sorry to hear what happened to my brother and glad he's okay (he was in a bad car accident). Wow, what a cheap way to make herself feel better about breaking my heart.

[Orpheus85]

Day 12 NC, 7 Months since BU.

 

Going alright but I've been thinking of her a lot the last few days and there's a fair bit of bitterness and missing feelings. I have days when I'm glad it's over and then others like yesterday when I can't believe it's happened. I feel like this has messed with my trust in people and I don't know what the future holds. Ah well feeling good that I have only written her once in about 6 weeks. I used to contact her weekly or fortnightly to try work things out. I wonder if she's even noticed I've dropped off the planet

[rainmistdb]

NC 5

 

I missed him today, but the sadness didn't stay for very long. No desire to contact him whatsoever. Feeling anxious about the future.

[Natmendez]

Woke up this morning missing her badly. Almost on the verge of tears. I thought this was getting easier, but these past few days have been an emotional roller coaster. No matter how much I try to tell myself I'm ok and I'm better off without her I still feel so sad deep down. I'm talking to someone else right now and I'm not even excited about it. Maybe when I meet her in person things might change. The biggest challenge for me right now is dealing with being rejected and replaced with someone else. I'm still in love with my ex and it hurts so bad for it not to be reciprocated.

[rainmistdb]

NC 6

 

Today was a good day. I even smiled and made jokes! I miss him at times, especially when something reminds me of him, but I have no desire to contact him. I had a bit of anxiety earlier about letting go but that passed too. I avoided going out tonight in case I would run into him with someone else. I don't think it's worth jeopardizing my recovering and I think I will feel awful seeing him. I look forward to the time I won't care at all!

[UnluckyLove]

Back do Day 1

[mandeelove]

At what point do we still count nc or just start to live life again because im at 11 weeks..... and i think its safe to say its over . Have not seen or heard from the ex.

[mandeelove]

And just for the record i still love him. It seemed to get worse over time as far as the missing Him goes .

[rainmistdb]

NC Day 7

 

A whole week! Woohoo! Today, I got sad and lonely, but I still feel better than before, so I'll take it!

[Orpheus85]

Day 15 NC, 7 months since BU.

 

Well at the half way point. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't escape my feelings even after all this time. I heard that for every 5 years you're with someone, it takes 1 year to get over them. I was with her for 10, so does that mean I'm doomed to feel this way for another 18 months? Ah well so I'm trying to move on quicker so I've been staying off Facebook/emails for my own sanity. I feel like I'm constantly checking them to see if I get something from her which never happens and it's probably delaying my recovery. That's kinda like waiting for a train at a bus stop. Never going to happen.

[rainmistdb]

NC 8. ugh...tempted to check facebook to see what he's be up to even though I unfriended him. I guess though, what he is doing in not any of my business. Got to repeat that to myself!!!!

[psshep]

Day 1, again, todat is my firsr day on this forum, and my numerous attempt at no contact. Weve been split up over 13 weeks so I hope its not to late. Its been a very hard couple of months, ive made all the usual mistakes, crying, telling her I love her all the time etc.. I have even slept with her a few times since but she has always regretted it. She wants to be my friend but that is not ana option for me. So now hopefully with all of you now doing the no contact to I can finally stick to it. So here goes.