THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[palmer14]

Day 4.

Started this when the break up first happened over 2 months ago, and broke it a few days ago because I was getting my hopes up. All I gotta say is, stick with it people. I thought I could deal with being rejected by her again but a lot of the same emotions are coming back and I feel pretty miserable. I just don't understand what happened.

[Drummerguy18]

Day 5

 

Still think about her a lot through out the day (all positive memories of course). I do realize that maybe it was for the best though. We are in college and it is not fair to not experience this to its fullest. Starting to see it as more of an opportunity to learn from it and become more emotionally independent. I'm going to keep working on myself and take it from there. I hope she does text me on my birthday though (three weeks). It would be nice to know that there are no hard feelings and I don't think I would try to start a conversation. I would most likely just say thank you and continue with the day. It's just so hard to know that out of 5 relationships on her side, she said ours was the best and that she had never felt like that for anyone else. I've only been in one and I can say that I definitely loved her. Maybe one day when we are both in a more stable environment we can revisit that love.

[INxJ]

Day 3

 

By no means will I be contacting her since she was the one who broke it off, but my mind keeps trying to run scenarios of what to do if she were to ask me back.

[UnluckyLove]

Day 15 NC. I don't how you said, "You care about me so you let me go." Is that the easy way out of telling me you don't care about me at all?

[Orpheus85]

Day 28 NC, 7 months since separation.

Well I've broken my previous NC record of 27 days! Just focusing on getting through the week and pushing those thoughts out of my head. Same old same old! Can't wait for 30 days but once I hit it, I will aim for 60 days NC.

[INxJ]

Day 4

 

Was able to sleep last night, surprisingly. Reactivated my account on Match just to browse through profiles. Working out more at the gym and starting to feel better about myself.

[Natmendez]

Almost 4 months since BU. Been doing NC of and on. My longest record was a little over three weeks. I haven't seenher in over a month, which is the longest I've not seen her. It feels strange. I still miss her like crazy and I'm still in love with her. I don't feel as low as I did 4 months ago, but I still think about her a lot. I've caught myself on the verge of tears here and there but nothing like what is was before. I guess I'm content with the way things are for the time being. I really want the feelings of resentment, unworthyness, and longing to go away.

[INxJ]

Day 5

 

For some reason, I keep hoping one of the emails in my inbox is from her. She said her feelings changed. Why can't I cut the chords? Only saw one profile on Match that interested me, but can't bring myself her right now...

[INxJ]

Day 6

 

I keep reading "Getting back together really does happen!" thread and fantasizing about her asking me back. The scenario keeps changing in my mind from day to day...

[sparkychops]

Day 3 for me.

 

Wasn't officially a relationship but definitely no "break-up". He's pretty much dropped off the face of the earth. But I'm at a stage now where I know I don't deserve to be treated like this.

 

That's today - tomorrow I'll be crying.

[sparkychops]

Day 4. Easter Sunday for anyone who celebrates it I hope it's fantastic for you.

 

Woke up this morning not sure how I feel.

[INxJ]

Day 7

 

I continue to imagine the day she might ask me to try again, but part of me thinks that is not going to happen. I just don't understand how one can go from love to out of love so quickly? Going to start to read up on abandonment, because one thing I got out of this relationship is that I think I must have a fear of abandonment.

[sparkychops]

Day 5.

 

Barely slept last night. I think yesterday hit me hard because before he decided to disappear off the face of the earth he said he'd give me a shout "next week". Sunday was the last day of the week (I hope this is making sense) and I didn't hear from him, so I know I'm not going to now.

[INxJ]

Day 8

 

The desire to get back together with her is starting to wane. I'm starting to receive some interest on Match and it's helping me to feel good about myself again.

[sparkychops]

Day 5 almost over. I almost broke today. It's such a complicated situation and he's such a complicated person - I'm now thinking that because I didn't reply to him on wednesday (he gave me nothing to reply to!!!) That he now thinks I'm angry at him. He's done that before, buried his head in the sand when he thinks I'm annoyed

[Natmendez]

I'm still obsessing over the fact that she's with someone else. And why it was so easy for her to just get with someone so soon ( 3 days) after we ended. We've been broken up 4 months now so the relationship she's in becomes less and less a rebound. I feel rejected. I think that's the hardest part to swallow. I don't know why care so much. I wouldn't get back with her... Maybe I would I don't know. I still love her, but have so much anger towards her at the same time.

[INxJ]

Day 9

 

One of the ladies I've reached out to on Match responded and we're exchanging messages. Starting to feel better about myself. If my ex ever decides to want to get back together, it will not be an easy decision on my part.

[INxJ]

Day 1

 

Argh! Why did you have to email me for your parking permit? I already put in the mail for you! By letting you know it's on its way, I have to reset the clock.

[Graysfan]

Day 8

Feel the same as above. Keep going from hope to confusion-why and HOW can you just 'fall out of love' when we were so amazing for eachother, I know we fought a bit and things got tough with work but the foundations are amazing and you will never find anyone out there that can love you and understand you like I do. Maybe if i wait for him to be alone and things to settle he will feel that his life is empty without me. Sometimes you need to lose things to realise what they mean dont you? I have to stop hoping though and do things for MYSELF. starting therapy again tonight...

[sparkychops]

Day 7.

 

Accidentally (I actually swear) hit off the call button on whatsapp yesterday (since when can you make calls on whatsapp?!) Hung up straight away but not sure if it connected or not. Didn't text or anything just incase, so im not counting it as a reset .

 

went out and bought new clothes, got my hair done, perked me up a bit. It's only going to get harder and I reckon I'll break soon

[Natmendez]

The very beginning of day eleven... Started working out again and it's going well. Today makes 3 days. I feel I'm gaining my tenacity back. As for the NC, it's starting to become more of a normal every day thing rather than a challenge. The resentment is slowing fading as well. I miss my ex, but I only miss the person I was with before the breakup. I'm not even sure if I like the person she's become since our split. It's getting easier. Progress is progress no matter how small it may seem.

[Realitynut]

April 9 2014, First kiss. April 9 2015 Day 4 NC

 

Thur. April 9. I will not have talked to you since Easter. Talked isn't exactly the right word...made love? Even tho we broke up around March 25. But didn't actually say 'the word...Broke up'....i just left, crying ...while you slept. Cuz you wouldn't say I love you...or even goodnight.

 

So i got up and took my dogs bed back home....and my new bottle of ketchup i had given you! lol

 

You just saw me less and less...and gave me 'hints' that you wanted space. Actually...you never even used the word...'space'...or 'it's over' ! No wonder I'm confused. You just said "my idea of a relationship is different than your idea of a relationship." Over the last few months i think you uttered the words...just friends...or some such crap!

 

Anyway...i was going to go NC from April 1-May 1. But then i went on a walk with our small group of friends...and you were there. I said I'd leave. He came over by my car...and said he felt bad...that he'd leave. I said NO...you were here first. I walked with a girl. He with a guy. Never talked.

 

That night i called a gf and asked if i could come and walk with her. She said sure. I got in the car....and drove to HIS house. We ended up making love. He said, You know i do love you. I started crying.

 

Ok...he's 57...i am 60. What the hell is going on here???

 

After we kissed goodbye. I left. I have not heard a word.

2 weeks ago he unfriended me on fb and blocked me. Easter, he told me he felt bad about that, and was thinking about friending me again. We had just become active on there...sharing .

 

Anyway...i haven't heard anything from him since...tomorrow it will be 4 days. And I'm sure I won't break contact. The only time i have in the last 2 weeks, was the weekend. I had gone over there the week end before too. Also ended up in the sack.

 

He finds me attractive. He IS attracted to me. He is just going thru a midlife crisis...even tho he won't admit it....and wants to DO, DO, DO....all the time! He told me he wants to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. I quote: "if i want to sleep in a tent alone, i can't if i'm with you". ugh

 

So starting on NC again. Hoping i can be strong. We've been in contact for almost 2 years. Last year after he said he wanted a relationship...but not with me...i walked out. Started seeing a guy. 3 weeks later, while i was at a wedding with the new guy who was crazy over me...i get a call from ex. I ignore it. He calls another day. I ignore it. Finally he texts. He's realized he's in love with me.

So i dump new guy (he was annoying me anyway! lol) And ex bf says he wants to be in an exclusive relationship. Well....that sure as hell didn't last long. Now that summer is here and we were to have fun!

 

So the longest we've ever gone without talking in almost 2 years...was 3 weeks. Last summer, i went a couple of times 2 weeks....while i was seeing someone else...who never panned out...then he'd come around. I guess he needs space...or something. Oh yeah...he was having fun with other girl last summer...kayaking, hiking...all the things i wanted. But he'd do the fun things with her...then come to me at night...ugh.

 

Soooooo....sorry this is so long. But it's my back story. or a bit. We had started as friends. We had our first kiss April 9 last year. Made love the next day. Immediately after he freaks out...and he has been hot/cold ever since. When we were friends for over 6 months...we never fought...and saw each other daily.

So only fitting. April 9 first kiss. April 9 this year....4th day no contact.

 

Lets see if i can get past a weekend. They are the worst. And there is no other woman. He just doesn't want to be tied down....in any way. He HATES it when anyone tells him 'what to do'...so even wanting him to call or txt every day, he sees it as me 'telling him what to do'. sigh

[INxJ]

Day 2

 

Stopped looking at the threads of people getting back together. I think if you'd asked me back, I'd tell you that we should try seeing other people first. I'm listening to my audiobook on the journey from abandonment to healing and learning to cope with being alone.

[Realitynut]

Day 4

 

Deleted myself off all my meetup groups....even tho they were all MY friends, they became HIS friends. And then i was stalking. Now i don't have him....or my friends.

Last year on this date....we kissed and became intimate for the first time. Thought it was fitting to go no contact and erase myself from his life a year later. A year of hot/cold heartbreak.

[Graysfan]

Day 9.

Therapy helped a lot last night and made me realise things that I do obviously pushed him away. But he never told me what he needed despite me asking which is why we could not fix it. Finally realised i have to let him go. No point in wishing- im putting too much effort into it it can't happen. I have to accept that he was everything I ever wanted and dreamt off, perfect for me in every single way. But now he's gone. I wanted the big family and the birthdays and christmas's with big families and he was everything i said i wanted. But now I have to let it go. Clearly, I am not meant to be happy in my life and I am not meant to have a partner/best friend/lover to see life through with.

 

I have to let him go and accept that he is not coming back. He's a very logical man-he doesn't dip in and out of relationships. His family were amazing but now I just have to let them go too.