THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Brokenhart84]

Some days good, some days not so good. Still getting over this hump of thinking about him all the time. Almost two months of no contact and haven't gotten there. No crying anymore. Just thinking about him way too much!!

[palmer14]

I'm really feeling the sting of it today for some reason. I'm questioning everything that happened between us and wondering what I could have done to save it. I was always just an option to her. I need to remember that. How the hell can I want her back after the way she treated me sometimes. I regret not fixing things earlier and putting so much of myself into being with you when you never did the same.

[Glen1987]

I've started talking to another girl, only texting but I feel better for it. Also, I was looking at photos of me and my ex earlier and i don't actually find her that attractive in pictures when we're together towards the end of the relationship, but when I look at pictures from the start of the relationship and when I looked at new photos of her, I find her attractive. Thats weird isn't it?

[mandeelove]

Im on 7 weeks no contact and miss him more thaninthe beginning. Is something wrong with that? Shouldnt nc get easier?

[Glen1987]

Day 9:

After a slightly better feeling yesterday, I'm back to feeling low today. I miss the security of having her, I know that's not a good reason for being with someone, but I was so comfortable and settled. I know it's cliche but it does feel like I'll never meet someone.

[Brokenhart84]

Day 9:

After a slightly better feeling yesterday, I'm back to feeling low today. I miss the security of having her, I know that's not a good reason for being with someone, but I was so comfortable and settled. I know it's cliche but it does feel like I'll never meet someone.

 

Just take care of yourself. It's so early. I felt that way as well at first. I'm now almost 8 weeks no contact and I have a bit of a better outlook on finding someone. I'm a 31 year old female which I kept thinking about.

[Glen1987]

Thanks brokenhart. I've been through all sorts of emotions since the break up, which was 7 weeks ago. At first we remained friends as the break up was mutual, then I tried to get her bakc through sending flowers and saying it could be different, then I hit a really bad patch and missed work and kept looking at her social media, then I read those get your ex back guides which gave me false hope. The last straw was when I text her 9 days ago and she replied once and that was it. I just thought why am I putting myself through this? Doing nothing and staying NC is better than this pain. Sadly it took me over a month to figure that out. I don't think it can be helped, it's instinctive to fight for things isn't it?

Anyway, onwards...

[Brokenhart84]

Thanks brokenhart. I've been through all sorts of emotions since the break up, which was 7 weeks ago. At first we remained friends as the break up was mutual, then I tried to get her bakc through sending flowers and saying it could be different, then I hit a really bad patch and missed work and kept looking at her social media, then I read those get your ex back guides which gave me false hope. The last straw was when I text her 9 days ago and she replied once and that was it. I just thought why am I putting myself through this? Doing nothing and staying NC is better than this pain. Sadly it took me over a month to figure that out. I don't think it can be helped, it's instinctive to fight for things isn't it?

Anyway, onwards...

 

Don't feel bad. It's took be 3 weeks and I did the text terrorism. Trying to get answer to why the breakup happened. I've been consumed with how to get my ex back. I even purchased the guide. The guide did have good point. But the most important thing is that no contact should go beyond 30 days and at 30 days you shouldn't even contact your ex. You should stay no contact for as long as possible. Take care of yourself and know that you will find someone else in the long run.

 

Like I said I'm almost two months in and I'm still dealing with the depression, I still think of him everyday. But I don't have the urge to call him and I won't. Ask yourself, what is there to say? Who cares how they are doing? They are living and enjoying their lives. Eventually we will do the same when we get over this hump.

 

It's a long road. But in the end we will be just fine.

[Glen1987]

There is no way I'd contact her now, just the thought of doing so makes me panic and feel anxious. I always wondered about those guides and if they were legit or just a scam.

It's funny that before I met her I was totally happy being single and could even envisage myself never settling down with anyone! Now though I can't wait to meet someone new and feel all those wonderful feelings you feel when you're falling in love with someone.

I guess we have that to look forward to when we're healed.

[Brokenhart84]

There is no way I'd contact her now, just the thought of doing so makes me panic and feel anxious. I always wondered about those guides and if they were legit or just a scam.

It's funny that before I met her I was totally happy being single and could even envisage myself never settling down with anyone! Now though I can't wait to meet someone new and feel all those wonderful feelings you feel when you're falling in love with someone.

I guess we have that to look forward to when we're healed.

 

I'm not sure if they are necessarily a scam or not. I only purchased one and spoke to the author. It did give some valuable information.

 

Once you get out of the head space about "how to get you ex back". You will realize that 30 days is not long. You will also feel empowered to want to stay in no contact regardless if you miss them or not. I'm at 48 days no contact and refuse to break it and look like a fool. If they want to talk, they know where to find you.

 

You will always have a lot to look forward to in your life regardless if you are with someone or not. It's comforting to think of meeting someone and developing feels again, but you have to spend time alone and work on yourself. Otherwise, you are delaying your healing and won't be able to be the best version of yourself.

[hopefulandhurt]

I'm on day 19 and things are starting to look up for me. my ex and i broke up almost 5 months ago but i seemed to always make it through 2-4 weeks nc and then break down. my ex also always seems happy to hear from me and takes all my calls and texts and discusses anything i want which made it harder for me to keep nc. we broke up after dating 7 years (ages 15-22) because he wanted to see what else is out there. our break up was and is still so open ended. he consistently tells me he sees himself ending up with me one day but he needs a chance to date other girls to confirm I'm who he wants.

 

i also read all those hot to get your ex back guides and in my opinion they're just no accurate. after 7 years, 30 days definitely isn't enough. plus my break up happened because my ex needed time to date others. I'm not saying I'm perfect but we had a great relationship and he chose to walk away. that was his choice. i don't want to "get him back" anymore. i heard he was seeing someone casually. we spoke 3 weeks ago and i told him i hoped he was happy but i was no ones back up option and I'm moving on with my life and the ball is in his court moving forward. it felt empowering. i used to have overwhelming urges to break nc but i don't anymore. he knows how to reach me if he has something he wants to say. if not i need to move on with my life and focus on me.

 

nc is helping. I'm still sad and think of him often but I'm moving on. i know 19 days doesnt seem significant but i never even thought i would make it here! i refuse to break nc now and make myself look silly. onwards and upwards from here!

[theu]

Day 2

 

So today is Day 4 of official NC. We did agree on it a while back but numerous issues have popped up which meant we haven't had proper NC. I feel that it has made me miss her more rather than when we were talking. But that's probably because I was still clinging onto something.

 

Had some random dream that she was kissing another guy and I flipped out. It sucked because I woke up feeling angry at her even though it was nothing to do with her. But I do know she is talking to other guys so that's probably why. I still can't be happy when I picture her with other guys so I guess I need a lot more time to myself!

[Glen1987]

I've started sleeping better now, at the start I was waking up ever 3/4 hours, now I can get about 7 hours usually. Been woken up a couple of times with the dream of her telling me she got back with her ex, or that she started seeing someone immediately after we broke up. Both of which Im pretty sure wouldn't happen, but it's enough to shock me into waking up.

[palmer14]

Day 26.

Started out the day feeling at peace with everything. I knew that if we ever work out someday, then great, but if not, then it wasn't meant to be. Then a mood swing hit me and I have been seeing her face everywhere and really want to contact her. I've settled down and I am not going to. I am shooting for 40 days, and if she tells me that she is happier without me then I can get the closure I need and move on for good. My gut keeps telling me not to give up on her yet but I don't know if that is just me being delusional.

[Glen1987]

Day 26.

Started out the day feeling at peace with everything. I knew that if we ever work out someday, then great, but if not, then it wasn't meant to be. Then a mood swing hit me and I have been seeing her face everywhere and really want to contact her. I've settled down and I am not going to. I am shooting for 40 days, and if she tells me that she is happier without me then I can get the closure I need and move on for good. My gut keeps telling me not to give up on her yet but I don't know if that is just me being delusional.

 

Why do you need to ask her to tell you that though? If she was happier with you in her life, she'd contact you. That's just my opinion. If you give yourself deadlines to contact her, you're just going to be disappointed.

[Brokenhart84]

Why do you need to ask her to tell you that though? If she was happier with you in her life, she'd contact you. That's just my opinion. If you give yourself deadlines to contact her, you're just going to be disappointed.

 

You asking her that will only VALIDATE the reasons she broke up with you. You will look desperate and weak. Women are attracted to strength and you will not display that asking her that question. Trust me what you are feeling will pass, you will not always feel the urge/need to call her. However, you will continue to miss her....but still keep breathing!

[palmer14]

You guys are probably right and I definitely know what you are saying, I just had those thoughts bouncing around in my head and it felt good to get them out on here. I most likely won't end up sending her anything but I am not completely sure yet. She is extremely stubborn and resilient so even if she was having second thoughts she probably wouldn't tell me or act on it, I guess that is the only reason I would send anything. And if I did, it wouldn't be some desperate thing asking her for a second chance, just me telling her I have made some changes and agreeing that it wasn't working, I dunno haha. I really appreciate the input though. Anyways, Day 27.

[Glen1987]

You guys are probably right and I definitely know what you are saying, I just had those thoughts bouncing around in my head and it felt good to get them out on here. I most likely won't end up sending her anything but I am not completely sure yet. She is extremely stubborn and resilient so even if she was having second thoughts she probably wouldn't tell me or act on it, I guess that is the only reason I would send anything. And if I did, it wouldn't be some desperate thing asking her for a second chance, just me telling her I have made some changes and agreeing that it wasn't working, I dunno haha. I really appreciate the input though. Anyways, Day 27.

 

I know how you're feeling. My ex is also very stubborn and I really want her to notice how much better I look now after training for a marathon and going to the gym lots, but I just hope she'll look at my Facebook page once in a while and see, probably wishful thinking, not that she was ever asking me to lose weight - but it's always something I said I'd do and never did when I was with her.

I think people do reach out, if they know deep down it's what they want. Even the most stubborn people.

[palmer14]

I know how you're feeling. My ex is also very stubborn and I really want her to notice how much better I look now after training for a marathon and going to the gym lots, but I just hope she'll look at my Facebook page once in a while and see, probably wishful thinking, not that she was ever asking me to lose weight - but it's always something I said I'd do and never did when I was with her.

I think people do reach out, if they know deep down it's what they want. Even the most stubborn people.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean. Her problem with me was that I didn't really do much besides spend time with her, and she had a lot going on besides the relationship. I've been trying out different things and keeping busy and I guess I just want her to know that eventually. I definitely think there is a chance of it working again, that's why it's hard to wait until she talks to me I guess. She has never been the type to need a guy or a relationship, and she's really independent so I guess that's why I think it would take some effort on my part to get things going again and not just wait for her to do that. Not that I am waiting for her though. I guess every situation is different but NC is definitely the way to go, at least for a good chunk of time.

[Glen1987]

A few hours ago as I was reading this thread my ex text me asking how the bag she got me for Xmas is holding up. Is said its doing good and left it at that. Just had to go and do a quick 15 minute work out, my heart is jumping all over the place. She replied saying she's glad. I won't reply, even though I want to...thoughts?

[Orpheus85]

A few hours ago as I was reading this thread my ex text me asking how the bag she got me for Xmas is holding up. Is said its doing good and left it at that. Just had to go and do a quick 15 minute work out, my heart is jumping all over the place. She replied saying she's glad. I won't reply, even though I want to...thoughts?

 

You did good don't write back again. Nothing to write back to. Keep your silence!

[Orpheus85]

Day 17 NC, BU 6 months ago.

 

Well I have passed my previous record of 15 days NC! whoop! I still think of her everyday. I'm forgetting her face and voice too which is kind of sad but oh well. I'm not going to contact her and I'm feeling strong. Mainly because I'm so angry with her, but she has no idea of that. I do miss her and still can't believe we ended but it is getting easier to deal with. I wonder if she misses me of thinks of me but at the same time I'm doing well with my NC so I'm hoping not to hear from her.

[Glen1987]

You did good don't write back again. Nothing to write back to. Keep your silence!

 

She then wrote back half an hour later asking to be friends. I have no idea what the motivation is here. I told her I still cared about her. She then said she didn't want to bring up old feelings. I said as far as friendship is concerned, I just want her to be happy and that I wish her well. We then had some small talk about how we're doing and that was it.

It's so hard not to analyse it. Last time I spoke to her, she was short with me. I was the same today and then it obviously affected her so she wrote back about being friends. We're not talking about a manipulative, childish girl here. She's very switched on. She probably just wanted to know if I was mad at her or something. Maybe guilt for the way it was after we finished. I'm sure 90% on here will say I shouldn't have wrotten back after the first text. If I refused friendship, that obviously shows her how much I'm still affected.

[palmer14]

Day 28.

I keep going back and forth between having almost feelings of hate for her and being close to happy that we aren't together and wanting her back more than anything. Anybody else experiencing this? I think it's best to try to stick to those feelings of hate as much as I can so I don't get my hopes up.

[palmer14]

That makes sense, I think it's okay to talk if they contact you first and you're ready for it.