palmer14
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Posts
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Day 4. Started this when the break up first happened over 2 months ago, and broke it a few days ago because I was getting my hopes up. All I gotta say is, stick with it people. I thought I could deal with being rejected by her again but a lot of the same emotions are coming back and I feel pretty miserable. I just don't understand what happened.
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Broke NC last night after 60 some days of it because I heard she was asking people about me and told one of her friends that she was missing me. Did not go well. She pretty much just said that she has no feelings for me, and does not want anything ever again. I am not feeling as bad as I thought I would, maybe I needed this last push to move on. Stick with it people, and don't have any false hope.
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Pretty sure today is Day 57. Seems crazy. I saw her the other day and that set me back but I'm doing okay. Still miss her and want her back like crazy but it will get better. Still just so frustrated
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I believe today is day 47. I still go back and forth all of the time, but I definitely am getting better. I really miss her, but I still need to keep reminding myself that she chose to leave. No contact really makes you feel like you have control of the situation, and not them. I was thinking, wouldn't it make more sense for this thread to be in the Healing After a Breakup forum?
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I think today is Day 38, things are looking up. I'm doing lots of new things and made a couple of friends. I'm getting to be able to be happy without her. I still want her back, but it doesn't consume me anymore and I know that I am probably better off without her. I never expected that I could last this long or how much better I would be feeling after what feels like a short amount of time
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Day 29 Every day gets a little easier, for sure. I know that whatever happens, if she comes back or never does, I am going to be okay. Pretty pumped that tomorrow is 30 days.
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That is pretty much what my ex did/said to me. She wanted to be friends because we were so close but I couldn't keep talking to her if she was just going to be a friend. So far she hasn't reached out but I think she knows that will just make it harder for me.
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That makes sense, I think it's okay to talk if they contact you first and you're ready for it.
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Day 28. I keep going back and forth between having almost feelings of hate for her and being close to happy that we aren't together and wanting her back more than anything. Anybody else experiencing this? I think it's best to try to stick to those feelings of hate as much as I can so I don't get my hopes up.
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Yeah, I know what you mean. Her problem with me was that I didn't really do much besides spend time with her, and she had a lot going on besides the relationship. I've been trying out different things and keeping busy and I guess I just want her to know that eventually. I definitely think there is a chance of it working again, that's why it's hard to wait until she talks to me I guess. She has never been the type to need a guy or a relationship, and she's really independent so I guess that's why I think it would take some effort on my part to get things going again and not just wait for her to do that. Not that I am waiting for her though. I guess every situation is different but NC is definitely the way to go, at least for a good chunk of time.
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You guys are probably right and I definitely know what you are saying, I just had those thoughts bouncing around in my head and it felt good to get them out on here. I most likely won't end up sending her anything but I am not completely sure yet. She is extremely stubborn and resilient so even if she was having second thoughts she probably wouldn't tell me or act on it, I guess that is the only reason I would send anything. And if I did, it wouldn't be some desperate thing asking her for a second chance, just me telling her I have made some changes and agreeing that it wasn't working, I dunno haha. I really appreciate the input though. Anyways, Day 27.
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Day 26. Started out the day feeling at peace with everything. I knew that if we ever work out someday, then great, but if not, then it wasn't meant to be. Then a mood swing hit me and I have been seeing her face everywhere and really want to contact her. I've settled down and I am not going to. I am shooting for 40 days, and if she tells me that she is happier without me then I can get the closure I need and move on for good. My gut keeps telling me not to give up on her yet but I don't know if that is just me being delusional.
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I'm really feeling the sting of it today for some reason. I'm questioning everything that happened between us and wondering what I could have done to save it. I was always just an option to her. I need to remember that. How the hell can I want her back after the way she treated me sometimes. I regret not fixing things earlier and putting so much of myself into being with you when you never did the same.
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Day 24 One of the things I have learned the most from this, is to never think that you are getting better. I thought I was doing okay, and was surprised at how happy I felt sometimes. Then the last 2 days have just been constant waves of anxiety and sadness. I will come out of this stronger, and happy without her.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
palmer14 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I don't understand why I can't let you go. You made me feel so miserable and at one point I thought us breaking up would be a good thing. I truly cared about you, and you know that. You told me that I was the only one who really did. That I was your best friend. I don't know what made you feel differently all of the sudden. I loved every detail about you. You would spend hours telling me how much you loved me, and now you just pull the plug and leave me behind. Have you been talking to another guy? I asked you that, and you said no, but I don't know if I believe you. I just want you back in my life but I have to let you go. We had something special, and I don't think you realize what you threw away. I should have detached myself from you earlier like I knew you were doing with me, but I wanted to keep fighting for us. I just want to yell at you, but I know it isn't your fault.