THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[sparkychops]

Day 9.

 

I'm finding the mornings the hardest I think. This is such a messed up situation

[Realitynut]

Day 5

 

 

Mornings are always the hardest. This is my second time at heartbreak over a guy!!

 

I am sooo wanting to contact him. You see...it was one year ago today that we first made love. Kissed him the first time...yesterday. Instead...i deleted myself off all meetups yest. oh yeah...said that.

Well not much to report today...I just got up and have to be to work in half an hour.

Had a dream about the ex fiance and his gf this morning....and that ended 4 years ago!!

[INxJ]

Day 3

 

Why do I keep thinking about you every day? It's been three weeks since our breakup and I want to stop thinking of you...

[Realitynut]

ok...i broke down and txted him...that it was one yr. ago today that we did the deed.....and a few little other tidbits. I said i was an elephant in my past life.

 

Never heard back....and I'm glad. It would just give me breadcrumbs. He would have meant nothing by it...and i would have grabbed hold of it and RAN with it like it was something......

 

I'm still gonna count this as NO CONTACT!!!! Since we actually never 'contacted' .ugh. sigh.

[Graysfan]

back to day 1. i contacted him apologising for all the things i did to push him away. he said he didnt hate me and needed time to get over the text i had sent him a few weeks ago. I was so angry and said some horrible things. This is exactly my problem. I need to be on my own and figure out my life and grow the hell up! I took out my anger on him and projected my issues on to him that weren't his when all he did was love me and speak to me with such respect. What an idiot! I can't believe you threw everything you have ever wanted away because of your stupid unresolved childhood issues. What an idiot! I am so sorry for everything i did wrong...I just want to keep apologising. I am so sorry...

[INxJ]

Day 4

 

I hope you never contact me, so I don't have to reset this count...

[MyLittleOne]

Day 1, told her today that she shouldn't contact me at all unless she actually knew what she wanted.

feels ok right now, but it always does moments after I've met her.

[Graysfan]

Day 2. how can you love someone so much who has suddenly decided he couldn't care less about you? We said we would spend our lives together and planned for a family and a future together. How can you just switch all of that off?

[INxJ]

Day 5

 

Do you even think about me? Any good thoughts in there at all? You said you wanted some space so that you can miss me. Are you missing me now? What is it with people and space, anyway?

[Realitynut]

Back to Day One

 

Just to find someplace and someone to hike with, i drove over tw hours away. Ugh. After hiking for 4 hours, and then having the 2 hour drive home, the highway passes right by his road. It's less than 2 miles off the highway, so i decided to do a drive by. He's waaaay out in the damn country. It's 6 at night...what would be the odds that he'd be driving OUT, when i was driving IN!!! OMG.

 

I was so humiliated. Hadn't seen him since Easter. When i went to his house and Made Love...kissed goodbye...and never heard a word since.

 

So I'm driving home...and he calls me. He said he saw me...well....of course he did. We talked a bit. My ph. went dead. I could have left it at that...but i went home, and plugged it in and called him back. He was taking his daughter out to eat. Ya gotta realize he had taken his granddaughter out to eat the day before, and he NEVER took me out to eat.

 

Anyway, we talked till he was at his daughters. I then called a guy i knew who we were gonna start hanging out as friends. So I asked if he wanted to walk. He's in our meetup group also. So we walked for an hour and then got something to eat. Here Tom...the ex...had called 2 hrs. before.

 

You would STILL think i wouldn't call him back. But i did. He wanted to know all about where i went hiking. ( I think only because he's always on the lookout for knew hiking places...not that he especially wanted to talk to me) Every thing was going fine, until i must have said something, cuz the tone of his voice changed. Said it was late and he was gonna go to bed. I said i shouldn't ask him this...just slap me...but do you miss me? He said, I don't want to answer that. So i took that as a no. He said , "it was nice talking to you, goodnight'. and that was that.

 

Now I'm back to square one....so hurt by the ph. call. At least before, my last memory was making love, kissing....and walking out the door.

 

Now my memory is hearing him not being able to say he missed me...but of COURSE he liked talking to me. He'd been talking to me for almost 2 years!

 

So now he got what he wanted...knowing what i was up to. We discussed the fact that i'm off all the meetup sites...etc. Before he was just wondering.....and that is what NC can be all about. He's wondering what the hell you're doing. Now he knows, he got his curiosity cured....and all i got was HURT!

Yep, got off the phone HURTING. Slept 11 hours...well stayed in bed. Here it is almost one...and i'm still in my bathrobe...depressed. ugh.

 

Now he'll go another week without a care in the world.

First weekend that i haven't seen him in OH SO LONG!

 

I asked what he was going to do today, and he said, Maybe call Dan to go bike riding. ugh. Normally that would be me. But they're 2 big guys...i can't go 15 miles. Plus...he doesn't want me to go anyway. ugh. i hate him for hurting me. Oh yeah, he said....we can still TALK can't we? ugh

[Brokenhart84]

Don't beat yourself up about having contact with him. It took me 3 weeks. I think we tend to go crazy over NC and make ourselves feel worse than we already do. Regardless you can't change someone's decision. Just focus on NC here on out. You will be fine. Trust me.

[R0sie]

Day 1 of NC.

 

Broke up a week ago and feeling numb. He texted me on the weekend saying he missed me and still loved me, songs remind him of me...basically everything a girl wants to hear. I'm trying not to give in even though I dumped him, I need to stick with my decision and maintain my standards. It helps to remember that the world is bigger than my problems. Am I going to let an abusive drunk interfere with my happiness. NO. Stay out of my life

[INxJ]

Day 6

 

It's been three weeks since our breakup. I keep fantasizing about you realizing your mistake and asking me to try again. Do I want to go through that pain again? I don't really know.

[Realitynut]

Day 2

 

Sucks. It's been almost 3 weeks for me too. Hard to really say...because he never said the words. Just the slow fade....and when i left his house...i took my dog bed with me. I guess that was that.

[INxJ]

Day 7

 

I guess I'm stuck thinking about you every day for however long this will take to get over you. I wonder if you ever think about me and the good times we've had?

[INxJ]

Day 8

 

I guess I'm still in the angry phase. It's best that you don't try to contact me as I might lash out at you.

[Realitynut]

Please someone tell me why NC is the way to go. I am dying here. Did send him something on his email....about midlife crisis for men...that i read on here.....hahahaha....bet he really appreciates it. I'm ALWAYS on the verge of tears. I should be out raking leaves. Have to be to work in a couple of hours. I'm still not dressed and it 3 in the afternoon. I'm so depressed...ugh. I want to txt and call...do DAMN BAD.

 

I was reading all his txtes from a year and a half ago....when he liked me...before sex. He was so fun...and so nice....Now he hasn't txted me since March 19.

 

I usually txted called my gf when i was feeling the 'need'...but i haven't talked to her since Easter, when she got crabby at me for going over to his house...and a lot more things. Made me cry and feel even worse. I left her house....and that was that. I have no one....

[INxJ]

Day 9

 

You once told me that tend to be 'out of sight, out of mind' for you. I guess that means you probably don't even think of me, eh. At least I'm not losing sleep over you anymore.

[Orpheus85]

Day 10 NC, 8 months since separation.

 

I made it to day 32 NC and decided to break it.

 

I sent my wife an email on Easter. She ended up saying she misses me and still feels sad and angry about it all but no love. I ended up sending her an apology/closure email but she wrote back one sentance along the lines of "Well I wish I was good enough for you at the time. oh well. take care". It was pretty deflating but I was reminded that she has no love for me and she's a stranger to me these days. She wouldn't reveal to me where she got a job nor if she was dating. Very closed off. So I guess I was reminded that it is definitely over I encourage people who know in their heart that it's over to keep to NC. I'm not viewing NC as something I need to do for 30 days but instead forever. I have to truly let her go. Sad sad sad

[INxJ]

Day 10

 

Remember how you fixated on all the negatives before you dumped me? Well, now I'm starting to think about all the negative things about you.

[AmelieM]

Ugh - I have an email drafted out to you to let you know about my raise. Since you were so instrumental in coaching me to pursue it. Well, it finally came through today, and they gave me every penny I asked for. I want to share the news with you so badly, to thank you for your help in it. But I haven't clicked send. I'm like the alcoholic with the full beer just sitting in front of me, knowing I shouldn't. I hate this.

 

Day 6 since the breakup.

[bugatti]

I'm not sure if this is the best place to write this, but whatever. Well, it has been 7 months since our breakup and guess what? I'm completely fine! I stopped counting NC days because it's useless, and I even forgot the date when we broke up. I did NC multiple times in some periods like 3 weeks, month... but first real NC begun in January but I don't know how many months it lasted... maybe 3 months.

 

I met with my ex on few occasions directly and indirectly and I was completely fine. All my emotions are under control. I still think about her few times per day, but it doesn't hurt anymore. When we broke up I was scared that she is going to forget everything about me but the funny thing is that when we met and talked... she told me some things from our past that I didn't remember! So yeah... they won't forget.

 

So yes, it gets better with time. I learned a lot about myself during these painful months. I wouldn't believe nobody that it gets better when I was first day after breakup - but I think this is how it should be. Everybody needs to learn in their own time.

 

I'm ready love someone else!

[INxJ]

Day 11

 

Looking forward to getting out of the Rage phase and into the Lifting one. It helps me to cycle through your faults as I lay in bed thinking about you.

[DoomsDave]

7 days and 6 hours.

 

I miss my dog You said joint custody of the dog and giving her back 7 days ago was as hard as you leaving. The only positive i can take is that you looked awful and said you've had a terrible day. I'm ambivalent... I know your depression may one day lead you to the unthinkable, and on the other hand i'm happy that you're still not happy now you've left. You said you weren't yourself when you left and that you still aren't. You burst into tears when you came to collect a few pieces of clothes. You held my hand longingly as you got out of the car when i dropped you off at your new flat, tears streaming down your face. I knew when i dropped the dog off last week it could be the last time i ever see her, that dog held me together for the first few weeks, i wish the dog could understand.... she's always so confused. I said my goodbyes to her because i sure as hell cant keep speaking with you. It kills me every time. I know we will have to speak again. All your stuff is still at my house. There's the finances to sort. Your fish. We still need to rip apart everything we built over 6 years. I don't want to speak to you, because i know 'you' don't exist anymore.

 

7 Days 6 Hours

[INxJ]

Day 12

 

Couldn't sleep well last night thinking about the things you've said that bother me. I don't know how many times I've replayed the scene where you told me that your feelings for me changed and how crestfallen I was from hearing that. Please don't try to contact me. My feelings for you are changing too...