THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[imtrying211]

Day 14

 

Just saw this thread and figured I'd join in. It's been a little over a month since the breakup, and at first I was weak and couldn't stick to no contact. I'm proud of the progress I've made, and the healing I've done, though I still have a ways to go. My ex and I work in the same building so we do see each other almost daily, but don't even make eye contact at this point. That is a real painful part of this process because we spent practically every moment together for the past year (living and working together). Now it's like we're strangers. I found out that he went back to his abusive ex right after he broke up with me, so basically he left me for her. I wanted to confront him about this but have stayed strong. I still love him and miss him terribly, though I accept what is, and am trying my hardest to let go of what was. I decided to take a week off of work (not because of him), so I'm hoping not having to see him will be good for me, because seeing him is when the pain starts to come back full force. Everyday is a struggle, but it's one I must face in order to fully heal my broken heart.

[Kate Winslet]

DAY 16

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Veteran here in NC. Day 16 and I am sure this time it will be at least 16 years, since my NC lasted 4 and 8 years before...

[hopelessincan]

6days. I thought we would have communicated somehow by now. it sucks.

[feelfreefloat]

Day 1

 

I miss you already and it's only been a day.

 

Good thing I just landed a gig tonight. Money for me.

 

I know you miss me and you love me. Whatever. Clearly not enough. Sorry I wasn't enough. Sorry I wasn't the girl you wanted me to be. Sorry the relationship wasn't fun and easy and sorry you felt like you had to try hard.

 

I did everything for you.

 

F*** you. I love you so much. But f*** you.

[praisechange]

Day 18:

 

This is getting really hard. I am on vacation withy family and I cannot get him out of my head. Family members aren't really behaving at their best in terms of traveling abroad either, which makes me long for lone time and causes further pain in dwelling on him. I also purchased some self-help books in terms healing and relationship advice. However, the more I read them, the less I felt certain of my own capabilities of sustaining any relationships, not to mention the one with him which has already been broken off in a way. I feel like I can never be"the butch" that men long for and I am hesitant on how I can change the situation. I want to right the wrongs, I want to be that irresistible, exciting and prized possession again. I want to gain the spark back. I don't know how I could come to losing it, but I am determined that whatever happens next time, I am not going to lose my cool and I will stay level headed. I will Ot give out my full routine of caring and love until I know FOR SURE I'm getting the same level of dedication back. I need to cut loss. I need to be profiting. That's my lesson of today.

[Dollymix]

it still seems like a bad dream and that im living day by day in a haze. i thought you wouldve contacted me by now - at least after i laid everything out on the line. i feel so lost and lonely without you. i wish i could share all the details about my day and spend my weekends with you like we always did. do you miss me at all? do you hate me?

i guess no contact is easy when you refuse to even acknowledge or speak to me.

i keep hoping youll come around soon. our relationship must have been stronger than this?

 

im more than halfway through and it's still a struggle. i dont see myself getting better after 30 days.

 

i need the hope to die. it's hard when there is no closure.

 

sigh.

[kickedin]

Day 2 .... been broken up about 5 weeks we had limited contact over that time some good some bad..... always wants to see my dog lol.... told her last friday i loved her and we could work it out she said she didnt want to..... i didnt hear from her until monday asked to get ice cream then tuesday we went running and wednesday we went out for lunch.and she tried to make plans for dinner later this week and even invited me to a graduation party in middle of june...... i was stunned because i was quite clear on my feelings on friday night and she was clear on hers..... she made all the contact and all the plans so i went with it and thought maybe the weekend gave her a change of heart.... we had fun during these 3 days but the physical aspect wasnt there .... i touched her leg like i normally would and she made a comment that we werent together.... so i said to her i am kinda confused because you knew my feelings friday and i let you be and you are the one that has been blowing me up and trying to see me everyday..... she replied " I HAD NO INTENTIONS OF WORKING THINGS OUT WITH YOU" ----- I just said to her "ok cool!" and walked away ..... have not heard from her since...... so i am glad for the 3 days because it was fun and light and even the last words were nothing short of reiteration of friday nights talk session.... i am in nc because i cant be her friend and i think she was trying to string me along or not let me move on .... she knows where i am and yes i miss her but my playbook needs to change because i am not a back up plan

[overcomer1]

Hi SuperDave71. I accept your challenge today! 6/3/15, 3:37 pm.

 

Last direct contact with ex was opn 5/14/15. She texted "Hi", I texted "sorry I missed your text last night, was sound asleep". Haven't heard anything from her since. She blocked me on her iphone, so can't text or call. We weren't FB friends. MY FB is extremely private, and hers is very public. For some reason she did not block me on FB, but I have checked her profile several times. I'm considering blocking her FB, already blocked her cell #. This challenge will be a great tool for me to move on, heal, and have accountability. Looking forward to this.

[hopelessincan]

Day25 I think. Whoopdee do. Starting to come to terms. Still cant get rid of the anger, and the disappointment and the hurt. But my feelings still win out. I'd go through it all again just to start over. I'm a moron.

[LovelyDani87]

Congrats to everyone for staying strong! I broke no contact yesterday after 11 days. She called me multiple times throughout the day, we laughed and joked with each other and even continued to text. Today, I got the cold treatment and zero calls. She basically told me stay out her business as well when I asked what did she do for the night. Her moodiness is just as bad as usual. I had the worse day trying to get through work. I finally got home and had to laugh at myself for even hoping one day things would eventually work out for us. So if you are for certain done with your ex do NOT contact them after the challenge, you will only find out that they have moved on and and could careless why you have disappeared.

[Idagirl]

3 weeks since he moved out 3 days since last spoke. I need to rebuild my self asteem. It was a abusive relationship. First time I have ever got myself into such a horrible situation. It's hard to make eye contact with the opposite sex. I don't feel beautiful and strong anymore. He will eventually get ahold of me. I still have his bed and I am not looking forward to that day...

[Wynton1973]

I've been reading many posts on this thread - but haven't seen much success. That said, I'm still relatively confident that no contact is still the best way to go.

 

I was on Day 8 when a friend convinced me to initiate contact. I received an immediate response but that was neutral and friendly. The last text (yesterday) was something like, "I'm grateful for the space - it's helped me achieve clarity. I love you."

 

She still seemed distant and obviously, she hasn't suggest more communication.

 

Our relationship was about 4.5 years. I broke up with her many times in the beginning. I was coming out of a marriage and just not ready for a relationship. She would cry and beg and eventually, I took her back. Then we lived together for 2 years. Got engaged. She had some issues with drinking excessively that really concerned me deeply. In late October, I asked her to move out. I was done. She moved out in November. November, December, and January - I felt great. Liberated. Dating lightly and full of optimism. We had LC during this time. In February - she asked to see me. She came over and cooked dinner and we had a great night. We started seeing each other again thru valentine's day. Then she asked for some space and I felt it was a good idea. Later we started seeing one another in again in late March. 7 weeks went by and this time everything was VERY good. She'd watched her drinking a bit and our relationship appeared to be blossoming nicely. I was falling for her - like never before. Then, I moved to the beach. This is where it gets interesting. The 2 years she lived with me she always wanted to move someplace together. We were living in a part of town that has no action at all. I had a mortgage and didn't care to take a chance on moving coz her drinking frightened me and it was going to cost $$$ to get my place ready. Well, circumstances smiled on me and I was able to move effortlessly recently. This seems to have really bothered her emotionally. While I was borderline ecstatic (and made no attempt to hide it - my energy was high and I thought we were doing well - very happy), she seemed to go cold after a couple of weeks. Then she told me she "needed space." Wow, I was floored and hurt. Then I went 8 days NC after the 2nd day of the space comment. Texted a bit yesterday. ...and now I feel I just need to move on (NC) and if she comes back - just consider myself lucky then.

 

I know I caused her a mega ton of pain in the past. I broke up with her many times. Broke off an engagement and asked her to move out. I can certainly see why she would be gun shy. She was always so loving, loyal, and unconditional in the past. Almost clingy at times. I miss those days now. Now that she's keeping me at arms length - I feel upset and helpless. All I can do is NC and hope for the best.

 

Please comment on this post and let me know what you guys think... Would really appreciate some feedback.

[Lyn0029]

Is this possible for my case? My fiancee broke up with me when his mom die, its block me on social media, we are LDR, its been 3 months now ignoring me, i sent him a couple of email, so how does this NC work for me? Please help

 

Hello everyone at eNotAlone,

 

I suddenly had a great idea...( scary huh? )

 

Let's start the SuperDave 71 NO CONTACT CHALLENGE...

 

 

Here are the rules:

 

 

1. When you accept this challenge, post here and your time/date stamp will be recorded for accuracy.

 

2. No Contact will be initiated for ONE MONTH from the date that you post. This mean NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER...and I mean NONE. (Including going to picture sites and myspace/or like sites)

 

3. If you work with your ex, you can still accept the challenge. You cannot do ANYTHING to contact your ex UNLESS it is work related ONLY.

 

4. If you accept this challange, I would like a post everyday on how you are feeling and what you are doing to pass the time. I am hoping by doing this, others will read and try to help themselves is they have a moment of weakness.

 

 

**Remember**

 

No Contact is for you

 

 

5. If you have contact with your ex BY YOUR DOING..YOU MUST POST WHY YOU DID IT AND HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT AFTER. No exceptions.

 

6. If your ex contacts you, UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY, or there are children involved, you cannot respond. PERIOD. If you do, see rule 5.

 

7. If an ex comes over or tries to see you physically, this DOES NOT COUNT AGAINST YOU, BUT you MUST POST.

 

8. After the month of No Contact has past, you must reread all of yoru daily threads and write a conclusion based on what you felt when you started and how you feel 30 days later.

 

9. When you post daily, please put what day number you are on of the 30 day challenge so that other members can see how you are doing.

 

 

 

NEW RULE

 

SuperDave71 has permission to duct tape any breaker of NC to a chair and throw broken twinkies at your head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If ANYONE out there can come up with more rules, PLEASE PM me so I can update them. I will be happy to listen.

 

 

I would like for this to happen because I want other to read the progression involved in the NO CONTACT process.

 

 

If you do NOT feel you are up to the challange, ...wait until you are.

 

 

I wish you all the best....and GOOD LUCK.

 

 

If you accept my challenge, you will be very surprised at the end result.

 

 

 

Your friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

[Lyn0029]

Just 1 month? He did the NC for 3months

[RitaTrue]

Right now, we're on break. I initiated it. Because my bf/ex bf is showing poor impulse control and financial immaturity. I'm still trying to sort out what I want to do. But I might come back here in the future.

[Lyn0029]

Hi

If u truly love a woman, is it easy for you to give up all the good memories u had from your ex? My LDR fiancée broke up with me when his mom passed away, we are best friend soul mate, great couple all was amazing story, but when his mom died he been shut down, he sent me an email he truly loves me but there's no future for us. It's been 3 months now we're no talking online but we usually talk everyday on FT. I know his a stage of grieving, in first month I sent him an email every couple of days, but last month he s not me an email same email we have no future and he block me on his FB, it's hurt u know I feel like betray, he pay for my annulment and it's almost done, now what? I apply the NC rule but yesterday I sent him an email for Father's Day. Can u block a person to email as well? Do I still have a chance to get him back? We are 3 years in a relationship, all was goes well until this happen, he visit me often like 4x a year, ur a Man, I want to know if he change his feeling for me, does he miss me? Before if he don't see me he sent me a text ask why I'm not on he wanted to see me and hear my voice, how can he handle this? Do I need to wait for him until he moved on for acceptance? Please help me. Thank you so much

[IAmFCA]

Day 1. I think this might be important.

 

It's a mr wow diet. Replacing investments in Mr wow with investments in myself.

[IAmFCA]

Day 2.

 

A low risk day.

[toolovehim]

NC Day 1st: it is a practice to try to build ones boundry.

 

0415 is the day I was awared of the end coming. Since that, I don't initial contract and try to begin the healing.

0528 is the day I gave in.

0615 had the talk.

0618 silly me, time to let go.

[IAmFCA]

2 done

3 begins

 

Reminder to myself

"I can't imagine my life without you," he said.

 

Well, you will begin to know you will be okay, I suppose, and I will be freed of you.

[IAmFCA]

2 done

3 begins

 

Reminder to myself

"I can't imagine my life without you," he said.

 

Well, you will begin to know you will be okay, I suppose, and I will be freed of you.

 

I might have added - this was uttered last Friday night. ! Silly.

[IAmFCA]

day 3 done.

 

I needed to research someone else on the same court site where I sometimes would check on mr wow's progress. i plunked in his name, looked up one key item, took a sec to see no changes, and moved on. it had no lasting impact whatsoever and in fact i really wasn't interested in what i was doing. ever since that switch flipped on Sunday night, he has feels like the past.

 

Don't get me wrong, if I had him back in the my life it would be like nothing else. But that is because, if he were in my life, it would mean he figured out that he is worth it. He would be a different guy. This guy? Gone, over and done.

[poctw]

It's been a really long while since I last talked to my ex. I've lost count. I think I'm on NC month 6.

 

NC kinda broke today, though it wasn't intended. I saw her today in a crowd, our eyes met, I said hi first, she said hi back, we spent less than a minute catching up with each others lives (she has a new job, new man, recently got a promotion, and is doing really well), and then we went our separate ways. I wish I just kept my mouth shut and kept walking past her.

 

I know healing isn't linear, but I was doing well, I thought I was over her. But I feel like something broke inside me today. I feel like for the first time, I'm realizing I'll never ever be hers again, and she'll never be mine again. She's completely over me, even if I still have lingering feelings for her. There's nothing left inside her towards me - it wouldn't matter if I existed or not, my life no longer has any relevance to hers. And I don't know, I just went home all bummed out and it's really eating me up inside. Her life is going well, she's so happy, and I want to be happy for her, but I realize now a part of me still really wants to share her happy moments in life with her. But it'll never ever happen again, and it's just tearing me up inside.

 

I guess I'm back to NC day 1.

[IAmFCA]

Day 4 will not be remarkable plus I have a good date tonight

 

He is clearly also in a place of NC and that is as it should be.

[hardfall]

Started NC yesterday after trying to get over / reconcile with my ex for the past three months. Needless to say, talking to him every day during this time has only brought about pain and agony for myself while I gobbled up breadcrumbs of false hope. He contacted me today via email about something silly (while alone at his new Long distance bf's home), but I have not replied.

 

I cried once yesterday and another time today. Think it's pretty normal but I know I will get through it. Here's to a successful 24 hours of NC