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About Natmendez

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  1. For the record I've never once counted food ever I don't go into the cabinets and see how much slices of bread we have or how would measure the milk I've never done that the only thing I've ever said about food is that one day we have a full box of cereal the very next day there is no more cereal that right there is what I'm talking about just over-indulging constantly like they eat all the food up like within a day or two days and I'm just like that stuff is expensive. My girlfriend also has a job but she's only able to pay her main bills and some groceries. Her paychecks are inconsistent a
  2. when I first moved in we were equal, but she quit her job and helped us get ahead with retirement money. that was almost a year ago. I never throw it in her face about being the bread winner. I just try to reason with her or make suggestions about making things last. She does do house work. I do the same too maybe not as much but I cook I clean. She doesn't have to come behind for anything. I work almost 60 hours a week and go to school so I'm not always available to do house work. It's just frustrating to see all of this work and nothing really to show for it other than the basic ne
  3. So a little backdrop story before I get into the details of the issue at hand. I've been in a lesbian relationship with the same woman for the past 3 years. Currently my girlfriend doesn't have the best job right now so I'm making the most money and I'm fronting the rent the cell phone bill just the main Big Bill's she contributes to groceries but when her contributions run out then I paid pretty much what she pays the rest of the month I'll pay half. So we've had a couple of arguments in the past about rationing the food or maybe not divulging in the food all at once I'm her her son have a
  4. This morning we woke up and said good morning too each other. I said to her J, her 9 year old son, stayed up late last night. He came in our room asking for cheezits at 2 in the morning. I thought it was somewhat silly and funny. i left it at that didn't say anything else. She said well he hogged me because i told him to stop playing xbox at midnight and go to bed then she kept going on saying things like well its not a school night... sounds like you have a problem with it.... why didnt you say something..... i think if his personality is not effected that telling him to get off the
  5. The very beginning of day eleven... Started working out again and it's going well. Today makes 3 days. I feel I'm gaining my tenacity back. As for the NC, it's starting to become more of a normal every day thing rather than a challenge. The resentment is slowing fading as well. I miss my ex, but I only miss the person I was with before the breakup. I'm not even sure if I like the person she's become since our split. It's getting easier. Progress is progress no matter how small it may seem.
  6. I'm still obsessing over the fact that she's with someone else. And why it was so easy for her to just get with someone so soon ( 3 days) after we ended. We've been broken up 4 months now so the relationship she's in becomes less and less a rebound. I feel rejected. I think that's the hardest part to swallow. I don't know why care so much. I wouldn't get back with her... Maybe I would I don't know. I still love her, but have so much anger towards her at the same time.
  7. Awesome sauce! There are so many helpful points. Thanks for sharing and I wish you well.
  8. Almost 4 months since BU. Been doing NC of and on. My longest record was a little over three weeks. I haven't seenher in over a month, which is the longest I've not seen her. It feels strange. I still miss her like crazy and I'm still in love with her. I don't feel as low as I did 4 months ago, but I still think about her a lot. I've caught myself on the verge of tears here and there but nothing like what is was before. I guess I'm content with the way things are for the time being. I really want the feelings of resentment, unworthyness, and longing to go away.
  9. My ex sent me an email the other day explaining things about finances we shared. I felt like the email was irrelevant and she could have made those decisions on her own without having to send me an email. Also it hurt because I felt like my nose was being rubbed in the fact that we are no longer. I still haven't gotten over here and those weren't things I wanted to hear from her. Anyway the email came as a huge surprise since I hadn't spoken to her in over three weeks. I lost my bearings and ended up of sending her response, but the response wasn't the nicest. I said a few choice words,
  10. Well I never thought I would make it this far. And also I use to think if I ever made it this far I assumed I wouldn't care anymore. Unfortunately that's not the case. I still care and I'm still in love with her. I don't even know why. She hurt me so bad and did the one thing that I could never forgive her for doing. I'm confused at myself. Why do I so desperately want to be with this person who disregarded what we had so easily and dismissed my feelings like they were annoying gnats. I deserve better.
  11. Woke up this morning missing her badly. Almost on the verge of tears. I thought this was getting easier, but these past few days have been an emotional roller coaster. No matter how much I try to tell myself I'm ok and I'm better off without her I still feel so sad deep down. I'm talking to someone else right now and I'm not even excited about it. Maybe when I meet her in person things might change. The biggest challenge for me right now is dealing with being rejected and replaced with someone else. I'm still in love with my ex and it hurts so bad for it not to be reciprocated.
  12. Officially at the two week mark. It feels good, but bitter at the same time. I've been thinking about her a lot today. It's annoying.
  13. This is the longest I've gone with out talking to her. It's been a roller coaster of emotions to get to this point. I must say that I'm feeling way better than I did since the BU ( December 5th). Everything that's happened since then has been an eye opener. I have a lot of individual issues I need to sort out. I'm not completely happy with the person I am, but I'm content at the progress I've made thus far. I still feel some resentment, to a certain degree, towards my ex and that's something I really want to let go. I have moments where I want to cry and have pangs of sadness, but I jus
  14. I didn’t do anything to you bad enough to have deserved this. You probably didn’t know it, but I did hold you in high regard. You were the best girlfriend I had up to that point. Yes, I had issues, but in the end I was right about you. You’re more than capable of doing the same stuff they did. I’ll never look at you the same. I’ll never respect you. You’re integrity has all gone to . I never what to touch you or hold you again. I never want to be your friend. I never want to cook enchiladas for you. I never want make love to you. I never want to tell how beautiful you are. I never
  15. Talked to her for about an hour on the phone. Questioned her about everything. Of course I can't really believe anything she says so I'm left with only wondering about stuff. There was hope that one day we'd be together again, but when I found everything she has been lying about it was shot to s***. I loved her so much and was willing to go above and beyond to prove I could change and be a better person. Now I'm left feeling angry and empty. The sad part is is that I still love her and would want to be with her, but I'd never be able to look past all the lies and betrayl that shes comm
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