rainmistdb
-
Posts
50 -
Joined
rainmistdb's Achievements
-
NC 8. ugh...tempted to check facebook to see what he's be up to even though I unfriended him. I guess though, what he is doing in not any of my business. Got to repeat that to myself!!!!
-
NC Day 7 A whole week! Woohoo! Today, I got sad and lonely, but I still feel better than before, so I'll take it!
-
NC 6 Today was a good day. I even smiled and made jokes! I miss him at times, especially when something reminds me of him, but I have no desire to contact him. I had a bit of anxiety earlier about letting go but that passed too. I avoided going out tonight in case I would run into him with someone else. I don't think it's worth jeopardizing my recovering and I think I will feel awful seeing him. I look forward to the time I won't care at all!
-
NC 5 I missed him today, but the sadness didn't stay for very long. No desire to contact him whatsoever. Feeling anxious about the future.
-
NC 4 Got another text message from ex asking for forgiveness about sending the last text. Again, I haven't answered and I won't answer. I feel sad letting go but I know it's for the best. Maybe now, he won't get in touch on my birthday, which is coming up but if he does, I still think that I shouldn't respond.
-
so. got a text from my ex tonight "i miss you so damn much". and it pissed me off some more. what a bread crumb! i won't be writing back. instead i'm going to try to sleep.
-
NC 3 It feels much longer than 3 days. Again, no temptation to contact. Today was much better. I met up with a friend who told me that some of our mutual friends believed that we were actually back together based on what he said. And it pissed me off. Ugh, he must really be delusional. I feel like he obviously doesn't realize how badly he messed things up. Regardless, I feel much better and much more in control today. I just want to keep the focus on me. I'm liking this newfound feelings of strength.
-
I feel you. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hurt, too. At least, you are in good company, if I say so myself Hang tough!
-
I feel like it's getting worse you'll. I'm not even worried about contacting him anymore. I don't think I will. What surprises me is how much I hurt. Today, I cried at least 10 times. I don't know why it seems to hurt with such a new intensity. I think in part, I had more hopes of reconciliation, especially because he brought it up but now, I realized that I don't know how I feel about that. SO, there is little hope. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? I think what's clear for me now is that regardless of what I will feel about reconciliation later, I have to let go, to heal, and get through this. And it hurts. Even though, he apologized for pretty much everything, I feel like it hasn't taken any of my pain away. The disrespect, the omissions, the lack of commitment, etc., everything just hurts deeply. Knowing that he was careless with me due to his own stuff, it also doesn't help. It still hurt me regardless. SO, how do you or how did you guys heal? What helped? What didn't help?
-
NC 1 Thank you for responding Bugatti and Brokenhart84. I really appreciate it. I wish I could do NC completely but I think that will happen when the financial stuff gets figured out. I don't imagine that this stuff will be causing us to keep in touch very often. So today, I have had no temptation to contact whatsoever (still early but we'll see). The more I feel my feelings surrounding contact, the more I feel that it would be respectful to myself and to him to continue no contact. It's the kindest thing that I could do for myself and him. We are both hurt. And we both need space to heal. On the other hand, I've had a lot of grief come up and I've cried like a baby. It's surprising to me that after 2 months, my grief can be still so intense. It sucks. I feel like such a sad person and I fear that I will be this sad for a long time to come. That freaks me out. I look in the mirror and all I see is sadness around my eyes and that makes even more sad! When will I start feeling like myself again?
-
NC 0 Hi. First time here. I guess the reason I'm here is because I've reached the critical point, where further contact with my ex is just going to hurt me. It has been 2 months since we broke up. We were together for almost 5 years. Lived together for 4. It has been really rough to say the least. We still have a few things in common that are necessary to keep for the time being, so we're probably going to have to have some sporadic contact. It's been more like getting divorced because our life has been so intertwined emotionally, financially, socially, etc. It took two weeks to just figure out where I was going to live etc. So we have had contact. We've also did some debriefing about our relationship, I told him everything I needed to say, we both apologized so I feel like this is truly the end of the road. I love him and he loves me. He messed up a lot. I did too. Sometimes, I think I want to get back together, sometimes I don't. I honestly don't know, I'm still so mired in my grief. I've never gotten together with an ex before, never wanted to, but I am not as decisive about this relationship. However, I genuinely feel like any further contact after today will just prolong the pain and will be ultimately unhealthy and I am scared that I will continue to reach out. SO, I figured I could hold myself accountable here. It's going to hurt