THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[sourhearts]

Day 18.

 

Blaaaaaaah. This weekend was tougher than usual. I swear, I was doing 10x better the first and second week. I do miss his company .. I thought by now I'd be starting to get used to being alone, but it's almost unbearable. Especially on a Sunday night with nothing to do. All I have is a television and couch. Woot.

 

He's well off though. See, he was smart. He has that !@#$% and his booze to lean on. He's well distracted!! "Sourhearts?!? What sourhearts?! On yeah, that annoying nagging ex girlfriend." .. Awesome. What an ahole. He can burn.

[sourhearts]

Oops. I checked my calender and I'm actually on day 19. Wooooo. In a few hours, it'll be day 20 🙄 not bad, ehhhh

[downright]

Broke contact on day 50ish. Now I am back to Day 1. Damn it. Tips for everyone, don't get too drunk that you call them by mistake. Wish I hadn't done it.

[Honeybal]

Day 23

 

Wow, one more week to 30 days! I'm thinking to just do NC forever! I think it's just better for me never to see him ever again. I wish I could wake up with no feelings for him whatsoever but I know it will take some time. But I'm positive I will move on for good this time. I will not keep doing this stupid on again off again crap!

[Wolfshook]

Broke contact on day 50ish. Now I am back to Day 1. Damn it. Tips for everyone, don't get too drunk that you call them by mistake. Wish I hadn't done it.

 

In a year of nic never happened to me and there was period of me being sh*tfaced for a week straight 3 months after BU. Just keep strong and delete her number!

[lolita]

Day 8

 

Today has been a little easier than the past weekend. Week-ends are just horrible. I don't know anybody in my new neighborhood so it feels sooo lonely.

 

I m happy that in 2 days I ll be entering into the 2 digits but at the same time I m really stressing because it's my birthday...

i don't know if he will remember it and either way it will hurt.

It will hurt if he does think about it and send me his wishes and it will hurt if he doesn't, That would mean he can't careless and i meant nothing to him.

 

Wish me luck guys cos it's gonna be a tough day for me! My entire family is abroad and I m Entering the mid 30´s, single as F**** while all my friends are married and celebrating their new born! Thanks god i won't be able to get too drunk as it falls down in a week day.

[Trinity11]

Lolita, I hitting 35 in a couple of months, going back to uni with no sign of anyone having loved me like I loved them... I'd be happy just for that, the rest in it'd own time. But yeh it's hard!

Good luck!

[layla21]

Day 6

 

After breaking NC twice since the breakup a month ago, I hope to finally manage the complete NC. However, at this point I do feel better, grieved, accepted and am on my way to moving forward.

Mixed emotions are still present on some occasions and I still think about him everyday I wake up and go to sleep but I distract myself and I feel like accepting this challenge will make me finally go through it. At some point, I hope to come closer to indifference given the fact what he has done to me.

[Honeybal]

Day 24

 

Starting to accept that he is really not the guy for me and that this happened for a reason. I feel like I should feel lucky because he would have been a lifetime of heartache and disapointment. Hope I continue feeling this way.

[Trinity11]

Day 40 since i decided to go NC, 25 days since actual NC

 

He still hasn't messaged me at all. It actually seems TOTALLY weird. Parallel universe weird. I wonder what he thinks of me not contacting him?? He probably thinks i hate him.

[kamelia]

Day 56 NC

 

I still miss him sometimes and I´m wondering what he thinks of me? Has he ever loved me? Has he ever considered it serious between us? Does he miss me at all?

[Honeybal]

Day 25

 

Strange that I don't even think about whether he thinks of me or not. I just go between being angry and feeling lucky that he showed his true colors before he moved in or worse got me pregnant. I miss him, I will probably always feel that in some way, but I don't need to talk to him. i don't need to talk to anyone who doesn't want to talk to me.

[layla21]

Day 8 (3rd try)

 

Today I am wondering if he actually thinks about reaching out to me in any form at some point (he cannot do so over FB and Messenger where we usually communicated). I really shouldn't care less but I cannot stop wondering.

Oh well, still focussing on healing myself and reaching a day where I dont think about him even once during the day.

[lolita]

Day 11

 

I made it through my birthday. It was actually a good day yesterday maybe because I was happy to celebrate my birthday but I didn't think much about him . He didn't text or call either. Probably never registered the day in his head! As you guys I wonder if he thinks about me at all.. I have been reading another thread called " reverse psychology and the "rebound" and it does help me to stay strong about the NC . The hardest thing is I know he was kind of a looser no job, living with his mom, addiction problem but I still can't convince myself it was better for me not be with this person. I always think that the day he will change he will be the perfect boyfriend...

[Honeybal]

Day 26

 

Isn't it strange that we are longing for losers? I love my ex but he's a mess and a half. He was always pretty shady. I think it comes from insecure women who want to fix the broken boy so they can be forever grateful to her. At least that's what I think. Today is my birthday and I don't think he will say , he probably doesn't even remember. This is the third and last birthday he will ever ruin for me. No matter how I feel about him, I will never break NC. i will never accept him again. He has hurt me so many times. He is a selfish little boy who will never have a healthy relationship because he cannot take not being the center of someone's attention.

[lolita]

Day 26

 

Isn't it strange that we are longing for losers? I love my ex but he's a mess and a half. He was always pretty shady. I think it comes from insecure women who want to fix the broken boy so they can be forever grateful to her. At least that's what I think. Today is my birthday and I don't think he will say , he probably doesn't even remember. This is the third and last birthday he will ever ruin for me. No matter how I feel about him, I will never break NC. i will never accept him again. He has hurt me so many times. He is a selfish little boy who will never have a healthy relationship because he cannot take not being the center of someone's attention.

 

Wow honeybal it's funny how our stories are a bit similar and our birthdays are a day apart from each other! Lol happy birthday!

It must be an Aquarius thing wanting to fix the broken boy.! I did it actually and it's the main reason of us breaking up. When confortable in the relation he decided to quit every addictions and his recovery changed him and apparently being told that is not good to be in relationship while healing... I had no idea about those addictions so It wasn't my intention to fix him tho. I wonder what he is up to now.... feel so long since last time i saw him!

[Kris22]

Day 36

 

I still miss him a lot. I've been going to meetup.com groups, started volunteering at a sanctuary again, and am going to start p90x. But even with all of that I still have not made a solid group of friends and that makes it even more difficult to move on. I wish he missed me too, but he has made it clear that he wants the break up where we never talk again.

[Honeybal]

Day 27

 

hi! My ex was drinking every night to numb the pain and he would always pretend he was happy around people and then cry when he was alone in his room. When we became serious he stopped all his negative behaviors but instead latched on to me. I guess for awhile he was addicted to me and the validation I gave him. Sadly those things don't last. I came down with an autoimmune disease so I was off work for 5.5 months and I made him my world, not even two months I'm back to work and he already starts hanging out with someone new and lying to my face about it. Before that he would literally throw fits for stupid reasons whenever I was about to leave for work. Talk about baby boy who doesn't want mommy to leave. He had serious mommy and daddy issues. Good luck to that new girl because he needs constant attention like a baby. The only thing I hate now is that I still love him and I still obssess over the betrayal. But I knw I just need to let time heal my wounds.

[lolita]

Honeybal

 

Was your ex unemployed too? How did you find out about the new girl? How long you guys were together? You said 3rd birthdays so I guess it was a 3 years relationship? Mine was the same when I was about to leave for work he would be like trying to convince me to take the day off. He would literally stay all day watching tv in my apt. Doing nothing productive and would even ask me to pick stuff on my way back home! Then I would come home in a messy apt. And start cooking for him! I was a good girl for him! Too good too stupid but because he would be so cuddly and lovey dovey with me, telling me how much he loves me and how appreciative he was of me doing all this for him that I was ok doing them...

[Honeybal]

Day 28

 

No he had a job, but he easily discouraged and was just weak emotionally. So no greeting from him, but greeting from my old fb and my ex husband. I'm just glad the day is over and I was able to enjoy it with good people. I am better off.

[sourhearts]

Made it out to day 24.

 

Until he sent a letter earlier this week, following with a call and text message from him on Friday morning 😢.

 

Broke my contact saying I received it and that I want nothing to do with him. Then told me I was wrong about it. So I called him. No answer.

 

I hate this. I miss my good boyfriend, the man that loved me. That respected me, would do anything for me. The man I trusted with my all.

 

But he hurt me so much, how how HOW can I take him back into my life?? As much as it hurts me.

 

Earlier today I was so close to sending him a text saying, "OK fine let's talk."

 

But I didn't. Because then it shows weakness. Plus, what if he doesn't answer.

 

Back to day 1.

[Rosie3636]

I am currently on day 9 of no contact and I am surprised I made it this far. I had dated a man for about 7 months, and i started to get a bit needy/clingy in the "where are we going" dept. He has some MAJOR relationship issues due to an ex who he dated for 8 years and lived with and she has recently come back into his life after getting married and divorced. He broke things off but stated he wanted everything to stay the same, but just stop the romantic part. He also gave me a timeline...we can be together until x date and then we are done. Who gives a deadline to a breakup??? I said i felt in my gut of guts that he didnt want to do this and he said its not what I want but what I need(he is having alot of trouble with his family and work) . I said I couldn't go straight from being lovers to friends and that we would need a significant time of no contact before i could consider being jut a friend. We had a very heated argument over the fact that I needed a break to make my feelings for him go away. I feel guilty over some of the things I said to him....such as its your choice to throw us away.

 

Now...he has liked a few of my statuses on fb...one that was a bit weird. A guy we both know has pursued me for quite some time and like a week after we broke up this other guy wrote on my facebook page that he missed me and would love to see me. My guy liked that comment. Im confused.

 

Ive been getting so much different info on what I should do. I have read that some day during nc you ignore all reaching out and some say mirror his behavior. I liked one of his statuses. I saw a psychic who said he needs me and i should put my pride aside and get in touch with him. My close friends say good riddance and never talk to him again.

 

Mirror or no contact completely? I dont want to block him on FB but I did take his number out of my phone.

 

We havent actually seen eachother in almost a month (the final blow up was over the phone)...in that month I started a new job and I have lost 7lbs (I have been on a weight loss journey and Im almost at 40lbs) I costume design for a community theater and teach one night a week at a community college. Anything else I can do to keep him off my mind/better my self?

 

Sorry its a long story but I appreciate advice from anyone at this point! I will say Im doing better then day 1.....but at this point im starting to get the "why didnt he contact me" blues.

[Trinity11]

Day 44 since i decided to go NC, 29 days since actual NC

 

Gone and forgotten I am I guess! It still hurts. What could have been, what is not.

[lolita]

Well finishing day 14 entering to day 15!

 

I m proud of myself it was the weekend and usually it is the hardest time! but I didn't think much about him!

Actually, I have focused on myself cos ironically since the start of NC I have been sick ! Seems like the the toxicity of the relationship is coming out of me!

Tired tho to be sick! I wanna go out and have fun again!

But during these home time, thinking alone, I came up with a plan of action! And feel so good about it!

I plan to change my hair color not for him cos he have always asked me to do so but because I feel like it ! I ve cut off a lot of ppl in my life lately and moved out so I feel this is the perfect time to be a different me!

I'm going also quit smoking and get a little tan! Ready to embrace the new version of me!! I can't wait !

It's true what they say here once you have a plan of action, it switches the whole dynamic of the situation! It's about you not him!

Let me glow and be again my confident self! Don't care whether he will see it or not!

[Angieeee]

Day 15

I'm starting to go out. Last night a cute girl approached me. Idk I don't feel interested in talking or dating anyone rn. I noticed that when I'm with my friends or family I feel okay. Its when I wake up or at night when I can't get her off my mind.

 

I can't believe she hasn't reached out.