THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[bbogdanov]

Don't worry now, think almos every single one here broke NC once. Just learn from that and keep going

Remember the feeling you had after and hopefully that will stop you when you're gonna be tempted to contact her again.

Chin up, sh*t happens 🙂

 

Well, look at my updates above I am calm now (don't know for how long though )

[Trinity11]

BBogdanov. After I contacted my ex...I had no desire to again... Funny it was like a scab i had to pick. Once picked it was gone ;-)

[Trinity11]

I ran into my ex on the lift today. He was behind me and said my name. I cant remember if he said how am I or if i said it, but I shuffled off quickly to joing my friends and jump on the lift which was coming up. I was glad they were racing (they had no idea of the situation) as it avoided some awkwardness. I acknowledged him, but kinda ignored him too. He knows my number...if he really wanted to say hi he would.

 

My head fizzed afterwards. I guess that is some anxiety about the run in.

Luckily we had a gal snowboard day and everyone was totally awesome and "never mind about him" because we were having a wonderful, wonderful day already. It was just the best.

 

The places i complained I never went- well he NEVER offered to take me, the girls took me today and guess what. So much fun...how could i possibly be negative, he just didn't get it... that's all I ever wanted...

[bbogdanov]

BBogdanov. After I contacted my ex...I had no desire to again... Funny it was like a scab i had to pick. Once picked it was gone ;-)

 

Maybe I am different I have no desire now, but it is just temporary. I am so obsessed with her, I think I have an emotional dependency (what they call it in the books). I can't say I didn't love her before, but I just didn't care so much about her - didn't want to help her with her job (flower shop) cause of being too lazy, didn't stop myself from telling her she does not look good as she should (she didn't care much about her appearance), didn't stop myself from ignoring her for days when I got angry after a fight... Basically she was loving me with all her heart and was forgiving me for all my mistakes while I was just happy receiving that love and doing nothing to give her mine (what an as-h--e am I!). When she got fed up - she left me feeling no more love towards me. I got what I deserved, finally After all - there is some justice in the nature. Now I feel like s--t, feel I love her painfully and so on... But it is too late, I will learn from my mistakes, there is no other option

[Honeybal]

Day 38

 

Be strong guys. We will be happy again. I am struggling tonight because I have an overactive imagination and I always think worst case scenario, but I just try to accept how I feel and go with it. Focus on myself and how I can make myself feel good again.

[layla21]

Day 21 (3rd round)

 

Getting so close to 30 days of NC. I am a bit scared for it to happen because I don't know how I feel by then - ironically, the day before is Valentine's Day. Stupid me is still holding on to the thought that he may change his mind, come back or send me something. I really want to let go of this thought as it will only disappoint me.

Anyway, I shouldn't bother and keep up with the NC as long as I possibly can - but until now, no urge to contact him, that's a good sign-

[bbogdanov]

Although I stopped all contact and blocked her from everywhere, I ordered a delivery of flowers for tomorrow at her workplace (anonymosly of course) :stupid:

[Lostinlove31]

37 days.... i deleted her number from my phone and messages. Feels horrible to have to do something like this...

[lolita]

24 Days!!!

 

I m so proud of myself for being so strong ! It's really getting closer to the 30 days and I started to think less about him. I started to do a squats challenge to rebuilt my body because I had lost so much weight because of the breakup that I got way too skinny.

 

I m also excited about the weekend I m changing hair color and might meet with a new cute guy! We started talking and I found him super interesting !

 

We all gonna be one day happy again! It's really really hard to move on but as other people have mentioned take this time to be a better version of yourself and set goals! It does help a lot. I guess I am on a upbeat day kind of mood but even if they don't last I enjoy feeling good again even for a short period of time.

[luisannalui]

I'm going to start no Contact again today. She's back with baby daddy! Things cannot be worst. I want to block her from everywhere but I feel that it will look as I'm angry at her.

[TiredOfDating]

I'm back at square 1. yet again. I have not made any attempts to contact since 7:45 yesterday morning. He's been blocked on social media since Friday night.

[Honeybal]

Day 39

 

I don't understand why I'm very upset today. Probably because I'm fatigued from work. I just want to let go of all hope, because it doesn't help with me moving on in my life.

[Kris22]

Day 50

 

It doesn't get easier

[lostandlonely1]

Today is day two.

[Lostinlove31]

38 days and still going. I am at a point where i am angry with her because i atarted to reflect on the relationship and how she treated me.

 

I put more effort in then she did. I am starting to wonder if I was a rebound... a year wasted.

[TiredOfDating]

Day 2 for me. Weird, when we were just "on a break", NC was so much harder. Now that it's over, I feel better. Maybe because I put the official end to it? Maybe because I'm not in limbo, and constantly worrying he would decide he didn't want to reconcile?

 

I think a big factor was, since January, he's only been giving me all these self analyzing platitudes and circular apologies and placating me. I finally pushed for real answers. and though he still basically spouted the same crap, I saw that he was incapable of answers because he overthinks SO MUCH that his mind changes daily.

 

I do believe he will try to make a comeback. during the "break", we weren't really following NC. I was a little too needy the first week or so. once I stopped reaching out, HE started to. And he admitted prior to the dinner date that ended it all, he wasn't happy alone, and he was missing me. He knows I still love him, and I told him I am leaving it up to him to reach out when/if he is ready to do so.

[Anon333]

day 25 of no contact for me. I dont feel any better. It is ironic 30 days will be valentines day. He left things with me saying I hope we can be together in the future and that he loves me but I cant get past the feeling he is moving on with someone else right now. Falling in lust and having crazy sex. makes me sick and I dont want those thoughts. Meanwhile I wake up with that pit in my stomach and cry all morning and night still. I go between being angry at him for hurting me and missing him like a missing limb......It is so hard feeling like he might come back but not being sure. Not being sure of anything he told me because it was always contradictory and made me crazy. Rationally I know I dont want that in my life. All last year I felt crazy and depressed with him. Getting over this and moving on would be the best for me mentally but I miss how good it was at certain times and the connection I had with him. Our sense of humor and the affection we gave each other. It is hard to let it all go...

[Trinity11]

Day 10 round 2, its a couple of days away from 2 months since breakup

 

Havent heard a peep from the ex since bumping into him on Tues. Feel like he doesn't care...Im starting to care less, but in a "I hate you for doing this" way. Even when he saw me he was nice, but like i was anybody..it was horrible. Thank goodness i pretty much ran away.

[Angieeee]

No contact day 1

After breaking No contact I regretted it. Its crazy because last night I dreamed she apologized and we went to a concert together like old times. I woke up in the middle of the night to go back to bed and start dreaming with her again.

 

Plus broke no contact to get a cold text text back. She didnt even bother to ask me how I was doing.

[Honeybal]

Day 40

 

Wish i had a magic wand to make everyone feel better. But remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We are all sufferring, and one day it will be better and we will all be happy again. Find some friends who will get your mind off things and stay busy. Remind yourself of the good things in your life. Don't let the absence or presence of a person dictate how you feel. It easier said than done, but you are not alone! I still love my ex and I still love want him back, but I know I will not be happy if we do get back together. i will be paranoid and I will not trust him. Date other people! Just do it! Just do something other than pining because you are wasting your life! Believe me, i love my ex so much and I thanked God everyday when we were together but some things are just not meant to be. And some people are just not good for you. You may not see it now but some day you will just like some day I hope to make sense of it all, because right now it stilll hurts and I am still heart broken. BUt I refuse to give up on myself and on love. i know I will be happy again!

[TiredOfDating]

I'm on Day 3. I'm really feeling okay this time around. but again, it's only day 3. lol. it's been a week since the actual break up. I was in such a confused state when we went into our "break".

 

honestly, a reconciliation will be difficult. he's created a trust issue. I would always wonder if he's kissing me, spending the night with me, etc, knowing he's going to break up with me.

[Kris22]

Day 51

 

I've started P90x. I'm not being super strict with myself diet wise, but I've heard that exercise is supposed to help with depression. I've been trying to go to meetup.com groups to meet people in my new city, but I have yet to make any connections with anyone and I wonder why it seems that no one wants to be my friend these days. I am volunteering at the sanctuary on Valentine's Day and I am really looking forward to that. I still miss him everyday, but I'm scared to reach out and get rejected and I know I'll feel crappy if we talk for a little bit but the conversation ends. I'm sure he's moved on to someone else.

[Honeybal]

Day 41

 

I no longer wake up and feel anxiety. But I still get sad throughout the day and get obssessive. But I keep reminding myself that it was not a healthy relationship and we were both practically walking on eggshells around each other when we weren't having fun.

[Lostinlove31]

Forgot to add day 39 yesterday. Why because been distracted with daughter, working out, and friends.

 

I was at the gym and this girl was talking to me. If i was so hanged up on my ex i would totally blow this girl off but I didn't. I engaged her and made an effort to get to know her. I even tried to see if she had any availability to hang out.

 

Normally i would avoid discussion with women or bring up my ex as a defense.

 

I unfortunately keep dreaming about her. That's the worst. I am doing good and not feeling sorry for myself. I go to therapy and have been since my divorce and it has helped.

 

Even though i handled the breakup well and made the mistake of being friends afterwards i didn't cry or beg. The issue is i put way too much of myself in and didn't realize it until stepping back.

 

Truthfully for us to get back together her actions would have to go to the extreme opposite side of what they were. Which makes me think that's impossible and I don't want her back because dumpers normally don't change or so I been told...and read...

[Tombo7891]

Back to day 1 for me, I messaged her yesterday at a weak point and Im at 3 month post BU. I just wanted to know that she still thinks or cares about me. I keep looking back into archived posts on ENA and seem to always be swayed by people who say that LC makes more sense than NC. That was the first time I initiated contact in a month. I totally get how NC makes sense and they need to miss you to realize what they lost. More so to heal yourself and be happy on your own. After I messaged her yesterday and realized that it was killing me on the inside that she didn;t respond right away I come to the conclusion I had to stop doing this to myself. Yes I made mistakes that I am learning from in my relationship, but we all do. It was my first relationship and I put 100% at the time into it. She realized that and knew how good of a guy I was, it just wasn't the right time for us at that point in our lives. She wasn't happy with "us" and I need to accept that. Down the road it most defiantly could happen, but right now I need to focus on me and make sure I am able to heal and learn from this. So although I'm back to day 1 and it started off hard as hell, I'm going to put as much as I can into me. We all slip up right! Just keep looking forward.