Anon333

HI, I think the best way to post getting back together stories are just by people you personally know. I think if you are in a relationship where you are happily back together with and ex, than you probably won't be on this forum. So I have a few stories Ive heard of here and there and couples Ive seen first hand getting back together. Im 1 month out of a break up and reading these stories was a like a bandaid but I know as months go by I will lose that hope. 1. My mom and step dad were dating maybe a year or two when he broke up with her. He came back a month later and they have been married ever since, although I dont think their relationship was ever healthy, they both just were toxic enough for each other. 2. A long time ago I dated a guy just a couple times very briefly, he had Just broke up with his girlfriend and was rebounding and kind of losing his mind. I remember going with him to a music show she had, which must have been so painful to her. I didnt realize all of this stuff till later. I remember him telling me that she told him she hates him. He eventually went back to her within a month or two and they have been married ever since. 3. My roommate was dating a guy who had broken up with his ex maybe 4 months prior. He ended up cheating on my roommate with her, maybe 6 months later and he has been back with his ex for over a year. 4. When I lived with my sister there was a couple that my sister knew and was close to. They seemed really happy and were married. My brother in law told me one day that in the beginning of dating they both mutually broke up and dated other people for a few months and then decided to date again. They are happily married. 5. I dont know the details but I know a friend who was was separated from her partner for a year and then they reunited and have been together ever since. 6. My first boyfriend that I was in love with eventually broke up with me and started dating someone new. He dated her a year or two and found out she was cheating on him. He broke up with her and dated someone else and she was devastated. He took her back a year later and they have been together ever since (18 years?) 7. A coworker told me how her husband dumped her when they were dating and he went out partying and being wild for a month and eventually came back to her and they have been married ever since. There are so many that just pop in my head that I've heard of throughout the years. This is why its hard to give up hope sometimes, because it does happen. But then I try to remember the hope I had for all my past exes. Many of them came back when it was too late, and I was thankful for that. It makes me sad that that may be the case with my current ex. I can't imagine being open hearted to working things out if he ever did come back. its definitely a double edged sword, and I need to also be realistic he will never come back. Hope this helps some people! Please add more if you know of SUCCESSFUL stories of people getting back together. Too many people have posted stories of unsuccessful getting back together, or their own break up story. That shouldn't be on this post.

day 25 of no contact for me. I dont feel any better. It is ironic 30 days will be valentines day. He left things with me saying I hope we can be together in the future and that he loves me but I cant get past the feeling he is moving on with someone else right now. Falling in lust and having crazy sex. makes me sick and I dont want those thoughts. Meanwhile I wake up with that pit in my stomach and cry all morning and night still. I go between being angry at him for hurting me and missing him like a missing limb......It is so hard feeling like he might come back but not being sure. Not being sure of anything he told me because it was always contradictory and made me crazy. Rationally I know I dont want that in my life. All last year I felt crazy and depressed with him. Getting over this and moving on would be the best for me mentally but I miss how good it was at certain times and the connection I had with him. Our sense of humor and the affection we gave each other. It is hard to let it all go...

Its been a month and a half. I dont expect to hear from you. I didnt plan on contacting you, just still feel a hole where you are missing from my life, and not necessarily as a boyfriend, just as a person I was once close with. I know a friendship wouldnt work, and part of me is too angry with you to want a friendship. I switch from being understanding about why you left, to being angry for leaving me so easily, for finding someone else so fast. If she is the right one for you than I need to accept that it is better off this way. But I just have never had a relationship end like this, where it was just a wall. Totally gone. I never had a relationship end where I question so much if I even meant anything. Not hearing from you and only seeing you out with someone else is so hard to see..How did your feelings switch so easily....I will always wonder this and always hope for answers, or a sign that you still think of me or care....It is really hard, and I cant help but to wish it was harder for you. I know that is not loving to say, but the fact that I am still unable to be with anyone, and you were with someone a week later should show who really cared. I dont know. I know in time it will be okay, like with everything. I just hate that you are not part of my life anymore.

Thanks Loxxt...Thank you so much for that motivational post....A month ago I probably would not have been able to let it help me as much as now...I think I need to keep reading it.....Highs and lows are hard to escape..When I can capture that feeling of being okay on my own and my self esteem starts to rise, I want to hold onto that feeling soooo Bad. This Friday there is an event that all my friends are going to and I know my ex will be there with his new lady. I have seen them together once before, about a month ago..and it shook my up so bad I cant get it out of my head. My mind has been fighting through all the scenarios of how happy he is with her, and trying to accept the idea that they are perfect for each other and will be married...If I can train my brain to accept that, than I can concentrate on myself and finding the right person for me...Some days I can find that place inside of me.....Accept that me and him were not right for each other and be happy single and working on myself... The hardest thing to fight off is the jealousy and feeling replaced. The idea that she makes him happier. It is more an issue of my own self esteem. That I wasnt good enough for him. But the reality was that even when we were together I had a hard time seeing him as the father of my children or being with him forever. So I guess the break up was innevitable. That doesnt change the fact that now I feel the opposite. Now I seem to think I let someone go who could have really been a good lifelong partner. But I guess I needed to learn to be more open minded anyway. Who knows what he is learning. Maybe that I was the worst girlfriend and he cant believe how long he even stayed with me. Maybe he is thinking I wasnt all that bad after all. WHo knows.....Life is not perfect for anyone, him or me. If it is working out good for him now, Im sure their relationship will have there trials, perhaps while I am just starting to date and enjoy someone else....It is all irrelivant in this way. His good days in the beginning of the break up could easily turn to him struggling and my bad days in the beginning could easily turn to me learning alot about myself and finding someone else like he has.....There is really no way of knowing....It is most important to concentrate on oneself. I am realizing it is Very important not to think of the break up as you were not good enough for him. ANd to switch it around to he was not right for you....Im pretty sure that 80% of the hurt and heartache we feel is from issues within ourselves that we can work on and fix. Feeling that we are inadequate, not good enough, defective, a failure at relationships. All these feelings are the part of the break up that hurts the most. Feeling abandoned and left behind as though you were the weak link, holding him/her back. None of this is true. We should not feel this way about ourselves. the relationship was not right, for your ex AND you...You need to try and have the same mind frame as a dumper now....You can be with someone else who is right for you. You can move on knowing there are people out there that would love to get to know you and share time with you as your ex once did. EVERYONE goes through break-ups. Models, famous people, rich, poor, loving whole individuals, and depressed confused people. It doesnt matter who you are. WHat is important is that you find yourself after this break up and pick up the pieces and know you can be happy single and you are a whole individual with or without your ex.. Personally, I am starting to remember that sometimes when My ex slept over I wouldnt get as good sleep. SOmetimes I would wish I was alone reading my book with my cat. Sometimes I wished he would want to watch movies with me and tickle my arm the way past exes did. When we first broke up I kinda enjoyed being alone for the first week (mostly because I knew he would come back to me).....He did for a short time...The hard part is letting go and knowing they wont be in your life....But so many new people, and old friends and even exes will come in and out of our lives..... Sorry for the rant...

some days Im okay with things and accept things are over, but the reality is that I cannot go out and be around my friends and do the things I liked to do, or meet new people, because I really do not want to see him with her. there are so many events coming up, that are interesting with good art, good people, good music, about the community, but I know he will be there with her...I am not strong enough...i wish I had someone I could walk in confidently with..But the reality is I would go alone and feel lonely and awkward and be trying not to cry.....How long will it take for me to not care he is with another girl, so i can go to these events and have fun? It is a small town and these are the social things I like to do and meet people this way...and i cant... Also, is there a turning point where something clicks and you start to feel better? I thought was getting there the other day, but now I am just emotional and depressed every day..I feel ugly on the inside and outside and my confidence is withering away...I hate this feeling.....its been about 23 days NC or so...I just want to know he misses me a little or I meant something to him..Even if we werent right for eachother, its just so hard to be cut out and replaced by someone..feel like a ghost lately....

Around day 22, almost a month... Feels like the last couple days have been roller coaster ups and downs...Havent been crying as much but this morning I feel really down and miss him...Again...On the weekends are his days off, and I usually had to work..SO now all I can think of is all the free time he has to be able to spend with his new girl..Them waking up and making breakfast together..I miss him especially lot today... Last night I had a guy come over who helped me move. We ate dinner and watched movies. It was just a friendly date/hang out thing. We didnt even sit next to eachother on the couch and when he left we didnt even hug...Awkward...He didnt make me laugh and some of the things he said during the movie was kinda stupid. Im happy he didnt try to pull anything on me, but it made me miss my ex so much. This morning is hard and I feel like I should be healing and doing better rather than missing him this much...I still hope to hear from him, and yet every time that hope comes around I try to tell myself why it wasnt good and why I shouldnt want him....Im extra lonely feeling and just want to find someone Im attracted to and connect with.....It seems impossible.... I hate that he is with someone....I want to be okay with it, but I just cannot....It makes it impossible for him to think about me or miss me...When I wake up alone, I think of him and how we would have made breakfast and cuddled..If he was waking up alone he might have thought this too, instead he is waking up next to someone else, cuddling and making breakfast and not even thinking of me......will he ever come around?

Thanks..I dont feel cool...I feel like a loser lately....I had lost some weight initially from the break up but now I am eating everything in sight. I have bags under my eyes from crying and hardly sleeping. Its not fair I am such a wreck and he just so easily walked away and pushed me in the back of his head....I know if I had some self respect I would tell myself I should never want someone who walked away so easily and was with another woman within a week..It makes me sick..yet within the same token, it makes me wonder why it is so easy for some people to find someone else. I guess it requires alot of open mindedness, whereas the thought of dating someone else for me sounds uncomfortable and even moreso would make me miss my ex....Time, time, time....hurry up and heal me please!

why does it seem to get harder? Every day I want to contact him now...Whereas before I told myself I NEVER was going to again. I know all my self respect would fly out the door if I did...I just want so bad for him to contact me....TO hear from him...Hear that he misses me in some way....I dont understand why it is hurting more and more...

Never thought I would have this weak feeling that I want to contact him..I know I can not..BUt part of me just wants to hear from him..Most likely it will either not be a response or nothing I want to hear..But what if he responded that he missed me? I know I should just leave him be and if he did miss me he would tell me...right?

Its been about 15 days of no contact...over two weeks now....the last two days feels like I am reverting backwards.....It feels sooooo long that i have heard from him and it hurts that he hasnt even tried to reach out even if it was as friends....It would show I mattered at least a little in his life.....When we broke up in January he changed his mind the next week, but he also said he was hangning out with another girl but it made him miss me...He said he didnt want to lose me and he could see me as being a good mother. I didnt know how I felt because he broke up with me and then was already hanging out with another women. So I said I didnt see it working and that telling me you are hanging out with another woman is not the way to get me back.....I regretted it a few days later, but by then he was already in the mindset the breakup was for the best...Then I got really upset and pushed him further away until he said there was no hope and that he liked the other girl......Ive been so heart broken...The last time I went out he was with her and I feel like I cant ever go out again until Im over it......I miss him and just want to feel like he misses me too......

Its been almost 2 weeks now of no contact and today is really really difficult...I have to go to work and cant stop crying...I cant stop hoping I will hear from him, and yet I am so hurt and angry by him I want to tell him so. The hardest part is that there is just nothing from him...Not hearing from him, wondering if he even cares anymore, if I even come up in his thoughts or if he is in bliss with this new girl, thoughts wrapped up in her....Im in alot of pain today and have to go to work now..I really thought two weeks would heal me more, and that I might have heard from him too...neither have happened...

Thanks for the input...Think I should post that question maybe.... He told me it was over and to move on and he is with someone else....All signs point to "he is over me and has moved on"....And I know that this is probably true....But I have experienced boyfriends saying this to me in the past, and later change there mind..but they change there mind only after a long time.....Or after they know I gave moved on...RIght now, he knows he can be with her and if anything went wrong, he could beg for me back, or I would take him back......But thats not what he wants right now...I cant help but to wonder what he is thinking right now...His seeing me out, acting happy, getting hit on by other guys....Couldnt that almost be as hard as him being out with another girl? If he has feelings for me still, dont you think he might be questioning if he waits any longer I will be gone for good?

Day 5 BIG SET BACK, went out last night and saw the ex with the other girl....I am not drinking anymore so was able to control myself, I put on a smile face...He gave me a big smile as he walked by with this girl....I smiled back. It was super hard at first, but I tried to stay in front of him so I couldnt see him and he could see me. Him and the girl were not acting lovey dovey or anything, in fact she was out smoking and doing other things while he was standing there...Not that says anything.....There were some guys hitting on me so I was hoping it would make him jealous....I dont think she is as cute as me, but guess that doesnt matter......I was proud of myself for getting by and staying strong...And I felt like if anything, he would leave maybe thinking of me.....But I could be fooling myslef......He was leaving with her...I havent heard from him in 5 days, and wonder if I ever will... So I felt a little bit stronger for getting through it, but then I couldnt sleep all day...Had to go to work, and was okay until midday I started to feel like the tears and saddness were builing up and I couldnt tke it anymore..I went home early....Ive been pretty devistated still..No contact is much easier than I though though because I know there is nothing I could say to him, nothing I want to say. Yet, as the days go on and now I know him and this girl are more serious maybe, it is getting harder and harder. On top of this...A friend I have had for a long time, who has been kinda in love with me, but has always stayed just my friend, kinda snapped and told me I was shallow for not wanting to date him and that I make him feel like an ogre...SO now I have lost two people I was once unbelieveably close with....It has been really really hard today... Do people who move on with another person right away just forget about you? How can they so easily be with someone else.? and his stupid smile!

Jaygirl...Try not to be sadder than you were before...You are working on healing and even though you had a setback, that doesnt change the fact that time has passed since you have actually been with your ex...Also, it sounds to be like your ex took your contact and used it as an emotional crutch, telling you as much as possible about what is going on in his life in one text....You are still emotionally there for him and it proves he misses talking you and telling you about his day if he told you all those things....Now just drop out of the picture so he knows you may not be there for him....You cant be there for him,....You need to be there for yourself.....He wants you as a friend maybe, but if he really wanted and missed you enough he would tell you...So I guess you knwo the answer like everyone else tells us... We may be addicted to our exes and hearing from them connects us to them for a second and then makes us feel worse...As though relapsing from a drug....Honestly, lets do a little reverse psychology and make Not Contacting our exes the drug that makes us feel good.....Just know with each day we are closer to feeling awesome...Most likely if they come back it will be after we are healed....so why not focus on that and know that if they came back now we might be an emotional unsure wreck about everything.... Just takes painful time..i know its rough...Im here with you and so are a ton of people..It is a personal thing that feels like the end of the world, and yet everyone goes through this, loses weight, feels that pit in their stomach, mind cant stop racing, loses any enjoyment in life. This is part of life and we will get through it like I have before and will now...and we will be better people for it!

Day 4 Need to keep this up writing every day... I am not as emotional but I am still so sad and miss him...I have a pit in my stomach all day long. All day long he is right there in my head....Even though yesterday I wrote all the negative. Loxxt, I may have not liked parts of my exes personality and all those things I mentioned (smoking, swearing, etc)...But there were good things I try not to remember. For instance he would do dishes and do considerate things and cook dinner for me....There were alot of good things about him, but Id rather not dwell on that. I know that you know you need to stay in No Contact with your ex in order for you to heal. I know its not easy, but just continue remembering the negative things about him. WOuld you want to live with someone forever who was too lazy to help with dishes and didnt fill your gas tank? Im sure it would lead to a long list of other lazy things. Imagine if you had kids? Wouldnt you want someone proactive that you could count on to do those little things? Just a thought....Just really keep with that mind frame. WHy would you want someone who doesnt want you...Once that emotional connection is gone (through no contact), you will be able to see this all very rationally... As for me, it is really like a drug, one day at a time...What is difficult is that I know that any time now I am going to eventually run into him with the new girl, and I just absolutely DREAD that thought.....4 days really feels like eternity right now and Id do anything to speed up time....One thing I can say, is the fact that thoughts of him are so painful, if he were to come back, I think I would throw up from anxiety and not knowing what to do...To be totally emotionally connected to him and miss him with all my heart, and yet to rationally know I dont want someone who doesnt want me, or someone I haver doubts about when I was with him, is a double edged sword......We couldnt have won I guess....And it makes me sad he felt that way before I had to force myself to try and believe it.... Finally went to work today and I felt like a zombie....Like I said before. I know that No contact is in order for me to heal, but each day that goes by, I wonder to myself does he miss me yet? It is hard to believe time will just go on without anything else between us ever again....That he just left things the way he did when I was begging to make it work...I just picture him with another girl just telling himself how much for the better it was we werent together.....

Day 3.... So today was better than day one and two....Last night I kind of had an epiphany....I really started to remember the things that turned me off to him and made me doubt even being with him when I was.....Here are a few...Some of it is shallow and mean, but it is helping me get over this and I cant help it if they are things that bug me....... I hated that he smoked cigarettes...And I dont think I want to be with someone who smokes I hate how the cigarettes mixed with the coffee all day made him smell and taste...total turn off He would sometimes smoke right before bed and not brush his teeth or wash his hands Besides that there were a ton of personality things about him that totally turned me off.... I hated how he swore and tried to act macho and cool around his friends. I hated the weird hawaain beads he wore around his neck every day all the time....Sooooo cheesey I hated how he would wear ugly mirror aviator sunglasses even indoors Hated how cool he thought he was sometimes even though he wasnt Hated how he didnt read books or never could stay awake through movies Hated how since I quit drinking he still struggles with his drinking even after having pancreatitis, and even admitted he was an alcoholic Hated the music his band played...was not into it at all Was not too into how super skinny he was He didnt have that great of a sense of humor or personality Hate how he cannot be single and needs to have someone, thus the new girl right away...and I was actually not long after another serious relationship he was in..He told me himself that he is that type of person that will seek out someone right away because he is happier in a partnership Hate how easily he gave up on me I could write a list of good things about him...But many of these things often weighed heavy on my mind...I can say now I dont think in the long run I would have been truly happy with him...The sadness right now is the loss of him and all the memories, the fact that he walked away from me (possibly I have abandonment issues), the fact he is with another girl, and the fact that I did want to keep trying, maybe out of fear of where I am right now...But Since I am in this position and a breakup was going to be innevitable at some point, I better just keep with it and not contact him. Here is a strange point to add though...The more I become calmer in my emotions and rational, and realize even though he dumped me, I really wasnt thrilled about him in the first place, the more I wonder if he will call or contact me....I know the sudden switch in my head to uncontrollable desperate emotions and wanting him back, to feeling more understanding and calm about it, is just part of the process.....Perhaps Ill be a wreck tomorrow... The hardest part about it is him not being in my life, so obviously im not over it.....I almost wanted to contact him to say I understand why you left and it is okay I just still want you in my life to share things....But I know its not okay.....I know if I saw him with the other girl I would fall to pieces....but I know I found something to stick with and keep in mind..... I dont understand why, despite the fact I had all these doubts about him when we were together and didnt think he was right for long term husband/father, why do I want him back so bad? All in all day three was the first day I got my mind off things and only cried a handfull of times opposed to all night and day....Its weird that part of me just wants to heal and move on so that I can see him again....I know it doesnt sound right and I shouldnt think that way though...

I will try to go to bed, maybe watch movie...Cant read...One of those things where you read a whole page with some other part of our brain while I am thinking of him and try to read it over and over again only for the same thing to happen...I just want to thank you dearly for your kind words. They have been a great help...I will post tomorrow if I can before work...It is a mystery how I will feel when I wake up...Hopefully a little better than today....

Thanks again bitbenot....Your posts are the only thing that has soothed me a little....The only thing I'd add is that I told him I was done contacting him and that I give up and that if he ever changes his mind it would be while I am still healing, otherwise I will not ever go back to him...I regret saying htose things..It but a timer on things and will probably make it easier for him to Not come back.....I just scoped out this website that the girl he is seeing has....I torture myself and wish I never did...SHe is all arty fartsy and has art exhibits and writes mysterious poems and has all these friends and adventures, and I am just the girl who goes to work and comes home to my cat now.....No wonder why he didnt want whimpering begging old me back...And she is really cute too....Ugh! I really really wish I never did that... I need to stop thinking about him and thinking about myself...But that is like telling someone not to think of an elephant....He is here and I cant stop thinking about it....What can I do to be more positive..I guess reread your post over and over again...Really Im not sure I will make it at work, but it will be worth the try and may be a struggle but also maybe good for me to get out.......I hope I am not sabatoging this whole post with my posts....I just really need it right now...At least I can say day two is over...Or maybe it is day one because I did text him early, one last time on Thursday? Oh crap, Im already going backwards...

bitebenot..I want to go out and get my mind off things but it is literally impossible to hold my tears back..i have to go to work tomorrow and I am scared to death I am going to start balling in front of customers.....its just so upsetting....But I have to do it.... Again thank you so much for helping me through this any way you can...I just want to get to that end of the tunnel where I dont care if I do or dont see him....Im wondering if the fact that I usually was always texting him in our relationship and even when we had a short break up, I didnt let a week go without at least saying hello, I wonder if me just not contacting him for weeks and months will affect him a little more since he was so used to me moving on....I wonder if he expects me to still contact him....If he does, I have to prove him wrong..... ANyway.....I know the best thing I can do for myself is just keep on trucking and never talk to him again unless he wanted to really be back with me or I had totally no feelings left for him and could handle him with another girl.....I now I am in for a whole other setback if I go out ans see him with another girl....I dont know....I didnt think I would hurt this much to lose him...I remember when things started going bad with us and I felt like a break up might happen....I told myself to remember this feeling...Remember that it doesnt feel right between us....Remember its a struggle for us to work out and be happy....But now that we are broken up I just cant see that anymore...All I see are the positive things we will be loosing..... So will the tables turn eventually? Will he see those positive things more and more and stop looking at all the bad we had? I need to just accept we werent right for eachother even though my heart is saying different? I am going crazy...

bitebenot day two is not any better...almost feels worse because Ive hardly eaten and my eyes hurt from crying.....Thanks for the advice....So I guess I really need to never contact him again unless he contacts me...Its so hard and I know if he doesnt try in the next two months I will be over it I hope..... My problem right now is I dont feel like my thoughts or last words were the right ones to say to him...I was begging him and lowering my own standards...I was grasping at anything to make it work and cried that I didnt want him to be with someone else.......Now that He has said "it is over", I just wish I could have left things on a better note...Saying I understood why he was leaving because there was so much hurt and issues that we just could not get through.....I wish we had sat down and really worked it out though, but he has trouble communicating....He very rarely has told me exactly what is going on with him. I know I cant contact him, but I wish I could leave things on a good note with a friendly feeling instead of blame and hurt that pushed him away more.....But it is too late for that? Day two is total misery...Last night for a very short time I had acceptance of it not being right and that maybe some day it will or not but I have to move on and be happy with myself... Today is like a whole other story..I called in sick to work. I miss him sooo much and whereas in the past I could go a week without contacting him, knowing we would eventually talk and work things out, this time each day feels like forever...And the thing that is so hard for me is that right now it is so easy for him while I am totally heart broken.... I want to know if he is thinking about me or if he is just relieved im out of his life and thinking of the other girl...Also sometimes the mind plays tricks and he could wake up one day and totally miss me...But this would only happen after long agonizing time of me being alone and miserable.....He could be with this other girl and may be like "wow, I was missing out on so much...Im so glad I broke up with her" and that just tears me apart.....

so im sorry for sabatoging this page...i just need to get my thoughts out..and if i start to have a few thoughts that make me feel somewhat better I want to record them so I can come back to them as well as other.....okay so a few thoughts I was thinking that have helped....The fact he is already hanging out with another girl is really hard to take in...But then I realize that I should concentrate on myself and that when the time is right for me I can be doing the same. Maybe it will work out for them, if so than she was the right person for him, or maybe he will have similar problems with her like he did with me and rethink his relationship with me...By then I will still be concentrating on myself and being positive and be more rational about the situation... That said, There is some kind of solace in the separateness of us. I cant word this right and I cant describe it well..But there is this feeling I get when I think of myself as each day goes on trying to heal and move on that I will really become a better person out of this..That if he doesnt want me than I will end up okay without him...I have been through this before with other men....I want him and he knows it and it is easy for him to walk away, but when all is said and done, the truth will come out. Either he will regret breaking things off or it was the right thing. Another thing that is difficult is the panic of needing to be with someone right now...My biological clock has started ticking since i turned 30 this year, and I am beyond discouraged at my relationships, but I know who I am more and I may have lost my self esteem right now, but I can feel it coming back tonight....right now...I dont know why..,,, I think accepting that it is over gives the power back to you and your life ahead of you.....Accepting that if they didnt wang to be with you than you deserve better, which can simply mean being single and loving yourself and doing positive things....Even if he is seemingly happy with someone else. Time is relative, and it is not so linear...When I look back everything evens out...meaning who cares if he found someone else first, perhaps it is the type of person he is, or he pushed me out of his head, but if he did I will eventually pop up.....and eventually I will be with someone new...... Timing is important...the person may not be right for you today, but tomorrow is a new day...Or someone may be the right person today and tomorrow something changes...What i want is someone is stability...We did not have that..Maybe some day in the future, but I look at that posibility just as hopeful as finding a new person..... I hate dating...hate awkwardness and getting to know someone so I have a lot of discouragement ahead of me I think..But as long as I am happy with myeself and true inside I think I will be okay...Same with everyone else here.....

bitebenot.....I truly appreciate you responding to this....right now I feel like I am treading in water grasping for anything and starting to drown....I am letting myself get so worked up...The hardest part is the finality of it all...The idea that I am losing something that meant so much to me no matter the ups and downs we had...and also the hurt that he is willing to let it go...That there was nothing left for him to say or work on...He is taking the easy road I guess...Part of me deep deep inside really understands why he is walking away.....We hurt eachother and there was alot of uncertainty....But love and attachment to him makes it so so hard to let go...I wonder how long the misery will last.... I just dread the next month of keeping myself from talking to him.....whether we were broken up or not, since pril of last year when we first moved in as roommates, we were part of eachother's lives.....It may have been just me contacting him at some points, but I felt he still cared then and I was doing loose contact to make things work, which did for a short time..... Despite all the ugly stuff, I never met anyone who I shared the same interests with. I feel like he was patient with me, which I need sometimes. I guess he was more right for me than i was for him? But he insists he felt like I didnt like him alot of the time....Its just all a mess....I need to get through this.... I wonder if there is anything to say for the fact that I always stayed in touch with him, and this time I will use every ounce of will power not to for at least a month. I am just terrified over the idea of him finding someone else that fullfills all the things I never did for him...He didnt think I was sexual enough and now I would do anything to just be with him one more time and share that intimacy....It is all too much and I need to learn to be patient with time I guess....Remember whatever the future holds I will be happier sooner or later...I just know I have a long haul ahead of me.. I just had vent some more.....thanks again for any advice or uplifting words..Ive been through this before, but each time it is different because there are different parts about the person I just cant let go.....

day one. I am starting no contact after ge broke up with me on new years. Changed his mind a week later, then he changed his mind, we got back together and it didnt feel right to me....Then he wanted me back for a few days and changed his mind ever since for good.....He is "hanging out" with another girl...He seems over me. He is being rational because things werent working out but also he has cut off his emotions and has the excitement of someone else. The idea of it being over for good lierally makes me sick....The last week has been me begging for him back, but nothing made a difference....He told me it was over and there was nothing left to say..Im totally heart broken but I need to leave him alone...I hope he will change his mind but I cannot count on it....I hope that after a week or two I will feel calmer and more in control of my emotions....I want to be with him more than anything..like a drug..The withdrawal is horrible.....I want him back so bad words cant describe, but I have no control over this anymore...Any contact is just pushing him away....So today I told him goodbye for good..That I loved him...That the only chance we had is if he changed his mind within the time I am healing...Not sure if that was the right thing to say,...

Just kinda liked that I wrote this and dont remember writing it....... The Grass Is not to be Spoken to Yet I dont Understand the Laughter that comes from the Clovers